Fix you
Description: Everybody wants to be perfect. Yet no one is. Everybody has secrets. Especially the unlikely anti-golden trio united through secrets discussed in the school kitchens. Luna, Draco, Blaise, Neville.
Disclaimer: Do not own characters.
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Dear Draco,
I know you are busy with school, but coming Christmas I insist you come home. I have already owled Madam Zambini that you won't be spending Christmas with them this year so no worries. I believe it is time that you accept your responsibilities as a Malfoy, and as my son.
Lucius Malfoy
Draco read the letter a couple of times, then crumpled it up and tossed it in the bin. Blaise, who was elegantly draped in an arm chair, looked up. "What?" he asked.
Draco sighed and got up, "Shame, I was looking forward to meeting your mother's eight husband." At Blaise's inquisitive look, Draco elaborated, "I'm not allowed to come for Christmas." Blaise looked mildly disappointed, but not surprised.
He got up, raising his lean body with surprising grace. "So Draco is going is going to become a Death Eater coming Christmas? Sounds jolly. What are you planning to do about it?" Draco did not like being dramatic, but turned towards the window, preferring to keep his facial features unreadable, even to Blaise. "I don't know. What can I do?"
Blaise pulled him round, "At the moment? Nothing. But Christmas is still a long time away. For now, don't worry. We'll come up with a plan."
Draco nodded, his thoughts already somewhere else, "Excuse me Blaise, I need to, eurhm, I need to think for a while…"
Blaise raised his eyebrows, but left quietly leaving Draco to a ponderous state.
Nothing was perfect and nothing will ever be. How hard Draco worked to be one single word, he'll never achieve it. Not in his own mind, and not in his fathers.
The longer Draco thought about the concept; perfect. The more ridiculous it started to become. No one can be perfect. In general it is impossible to become. But it got more complicated. There were so many different types of perfect; every single human being sees a perfect; and their perfect is so diverse to another person's perfect that one could never actually be perfect. If that made any sense.
In his father's eyes; perfect was evil. Kill a muggle born: you'd get a pat on the back. Kick a kitty; Have a sweetie.
Then there was his mother's perfect. Perm your hair and put on nail varnish. You might look gay but that doesn't matter because now you are exactly like me!
Also the image that his friends had of perfect. He was Lucius Malfoy's son. He was sly, cunning, and handsome. He achieved well at school, the teacher hated him for his attitude yet at the same time respected him. His greatest talents were quidditch and sneering. He was a marvelous musician which a few select people knew. Girls from all houses adored him for his good looks. Pansy's opinion of perfect was that of devoted boy friend who kissed the floor upon which she walked. Vincent's and Gregory's thoughts about perfect: OEPS! he forgot, they don't actually have thoughts.
But those weren't the only perfects. Those were the perfects he had already accomplished….accept his mothers ideals of perfect. He'll never go that far.
So perfect. Something no one will ever be. But something every one wants him to be.
Draco got up and shook his head, he'd been thinking about this far too long. He was shocked, scared…..and desperate after he finished reading his fathers letter. He had discovered something. He was ready. It was time.
Draco started pacing around. The dark Mark. Yet another perfect. The Death Eater's perfect. He shuddered. He didn't want to be a death eater. And he'd never wanted to be considered perfect by one.
It must be stopped. He'll never become a death eater. As long as he could help it. Which he can't. So basically Draco is screwed. Draco thought the same and kicked the table. Then he yelped because he hurt is toe. Perfect, in some people's opinion. Draco getting hurt by his own actions. Perfect……
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Luna returned from Hagrid's cabin with high hopes. They had discussed it though and through, everything was all planned out. Nothing to worry about. For now…..
She'd gone up to the Ravenclauw floor to return the books she and Hagrid had been studying. Tired she sat at the edge of the bed and stared out of the window. She stared out into the grounds. She stared at the leaves of which drew drops fell. She stared at the quidditch pitch which reminded her off gigantic lollipops. She stared at the woods; of which she was sure that one day a Crumple Horned Snortkack would fly out of. She stared at the lake; where her good friend the squid lived. She stared at Hagrid's hut; where she often sat and drank icky tea just because she liked having company. She stared at the people who were walking across the wet grass; the people that she was jealous of just because they had friends. She stared, unblinkingly, she stared.
People thought she was strange, actually they thought she was a loon. She has grown to become indifferent to their taunts and scoffs. She hardly noticed it these days when somebody hissed, "Loonnnyyyyyy" at her, or she hardly noticed it when people made faces as she passed.
She didn't have a lot of friends; she had Hagrid, she had Ginny and she had the squid. She was happy. It was more she could ever wish for. Up till her 4th year she didn't have friends at all. It was just her and the squid. No one else. But now, two actual people would talk to her and would want to be around her. She found it fascinating.
Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were also nice to her. They talked to her. But nothing more. Ron Weasley was a funny fellow. Always went red and then starting shouting about some incoherent mumble jumble. She quite fancied him. He was strange too.
Oh; and Roger Davies. He was the only person in her house who would talk to her. She used to fancy him, once. But then he started going out with Cho Chang. Cho wasn't very nice. Or maybe she was; but nobody noticed it because all her niceness was buried under all the blubber that came out of her the second somebody said Diggory.
When Luna managed to finally tear herself away from the window she headed towards the kitchens. It was already late, and by now they would be serving desert in the main hall. Luna felt like something more substantial then apple crumble so decided to yet again eat in the kitchens, not that the elves minded, she figured they liked the company. But people were starting to wonder why she never showed up at meal times in the Great Hall. Maybe they thought she was anorexic. I guess that would be a change from thinking she was insane.
She slipped into the school and headed towards the Kitchens. She reached the fruit bowl painting.
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Draco pressed the ice cube that Dobby offered him gently to his toe. Dobby stared anxiously to see if it helped, and breathed out in relieve as Draco winked at him.
"So Dobby. How has life been in the kitchens?" Draco asked the elf conversationally.
Dobby's ears; which were already high out of excitement rose a little higher as he said; "Oh excellent Master Draco. Excellent sir! It has been very nice here, and Master Dumbledore has been very kind indeed."
Draco smiled at this; "I've heard he's been paying you. How much?"
Dobby grinned at this; "Two whole Galleons per month sir! Two!"
"That's…uhm…..alot. My father wouldn't have given you a sickle."
The ears drooped a bit, "Yes, not a sickle sir. But I is very happy here sir. And you visit me often sir."
Draco nodded distantly, "I wish I were as happy."
"Why ever are you not, sir?" Dobby asked concerned.
"My father says its time. And you know what that means. You have been living long enough in my house to understand."
Dobby's face softened, but lit up as an idea struck him, "Tell master Dumbledore sir! He'd help you sir! He's as kind and good willed as any man and I'm sure he'd protect you sir."
Draco looked down, "This is beyond Dumbledore's reach, Dobby."
Dobby wanted to say something but they were interrupted by the portrait door swinging open. A girl with long blond, wavy hair came in. She looked dreamy and was silently humming to herself.
One of the house elves jumped up and rushed to her, "Miss Lovegood! It's a pleasure to see you again so soon. What will it be this time?"
"Well Tipsy, I'd like a flamboyant pudding please." She said as she gave the elf a quick stroke around the head. The elf nodded and rushed away to prepare the pudding. In the mean time Luna wondered over to where Draco was sitting and smiled at him vaguely, "You are that Malfoy fellow aren't you?"
Draco raised his eye brow, "Well at least there is some sense in you, Loony." He snarled.
Luna nodded, "Yeah, I suppose. Why are you here?"
"That's none of your business." Draco snapped, hiding his foot under the table and tossing the ice cube away as subtle as he could.
Luna said nothing but stared at him. Draco hated that and was looking for a remark that would hurt her deeply.
Dobby sensed trouble on his old master's face; because it started to resemble master's mother's face which wasn't a very pleasant face at all.
"I wonder Loony, how is your mother doing?" Draco asked coldly.
Luna's eyes widened and you could see that they were fighting against tears.
"Master Sir, I do believe its time for you to go." Dobby said hastily as he knew how delicate the subject was to Luna. After all, the elves had to endure late night crying sessions from a first and second year Luna.
Draco glared at Dobby and got up, then left the kitchen without bidding the elf goodbye. He felt ashamed for it later, for Dobby was a kind being.
As soon as Draco was gone Luna hung her head and finally lost the inner battle. A single tear rolled down her cheek which she wiped away with the back of her hand.
"I'd better go." she said hoarsely, right when another elf turned up with her pudding, "I'm sorry." She added.
Luna left too, and wondered around the hallways aimlessly before going out into the grounds to the Squid.
She sat on the edge of the lake and waited patiently for her friend to appear.
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The following morning…
Draco yawned and stretched. The girl beside him stirred slightly, but then resumed snoring loudly. Draco groaned as the noise penetrated his skull and proving earlier suspicions that his head was filled with nothing, echoed about for a moment, bouncing off his consciousness. He realised that he was suffering from a hangover and as Pansy draped her pale arm over his waist he felt the annoying need to vomit. He gently pushed Pansy off of him and got up slowly from his king size bed.
He had private chambers and silently appreciated the fact that he had no loud classmates around him. He shovelled over to the bathroom and turned the tap to the shower. While he waited for the water to warm he risked a wary glance at the mirror. His reflection had become a remarkable shade of green. He looked groggy and his eyes were blood shot. He splashed some cold water in his face, which sent shivers down his spine.
He figured the water would be warm by now and stepped into the marble shower block. With a yelp he jumped back. The water was ice cold. He stood shivering in his bathroom contemplating the lack of warmth when Pansy strode in. She usually joined Draco in the shower so he was not surprised at her presence.
This time however she looked disgusted with him and mumbled something about using the other bathroom. She slammed the door when she left. Draco turned to the full length wall mirror. He could easily see why Pansy was disgusted. There he was, this pale skinny boy, shivering and looking sick and wasted.
He tried warming up the shower again, but it simply refused to comply so he towelled himself down. It was Saturday so he pulled on some denim jeans and a grey cashmere sweater. Before starting on any homework or try and redeem himself in Pansy's eyes he would have to take care of the hangover.
The kitchens were the best option, or Snape's office. But he also needed to see Doby and apologise for last night, and possibly forbid him to bring any more alcoholic drinks to his quarters.
Draco travelled swiftly through Hogwart's endless hallways and stairs, trying to remain unseen. The kitchens were warm and busy. Only one house elf rushed to his aid and it was Doby, the only one who had the heart to spare himself from his duties. "Good morning Sir. You don't look too well sir, may I get you something?"
Draco rarely went to the kitchens in the morning; he never liked the way it was so hectic. The elves were making a continues stream of food to satisfy the early wakers, the people who enjoyed sleeping in and the students who liked eating throughout the morning for 3 hours.
Draco remembered Doby and requested a Bloody Mary and some fish & chips. Apparently those were the cures for hangover. The conventional ones never worked, well they did but they were a lot less fun and you had so much less to brag about later. Doby however replaced his Blood Mary with some Earl Grey and the fried foods with a bowl of fruit. Doby had dealt with far more hangovers then one can imagine and had learned the better solutions.
Besides, the Earl Grey was spiked with one of Snape's wonder anti- hang over potions. A concoction that Severus lived by.
Doby had appointed Draco to a table in the corner of the kitchen. Luna Lovegood sat there, lazily munching on some toast. She did not look up when Draco sat down. She completely ignored him and it was infuriating. Nobody ever ignored a Malfoy!
"So, Looney why are here this fine morning?" this would have sounded like a pick up line if said by anyone else, but Draco snarled it and it was layered with well practised malice.
Luna looked up with quizzical eyes, seemingly untouched, "Well I'm not here to cure my hangover after drinking away my loneliness last night and bedding with the sister of a cave troll." She declared before returning her focus on a magazine that lay in front of her.
Draco seized the magazine and threw it into the fire in one fluid motion (it helped of course that their table was situated next to a fire). Luna's eyes did not leave the spot at which they were before he tore away her magazine. She slowly lifted her head to face them, using all of her self restraint to look calm and unhindered, "Now that was a bit rude, don't you think Malfoy?" she said in a tone which mothers would use on their toddlers when telling them off.
It was at this point that Doby had decided to bring Draco his spiked breakfast. Draco was fuming and instantly drained the cup of tea, as if he was taking a swig of tequila, then he slammed the cup back to the table. Doby's big tennis ball eyes went from Luna to Draco and back to Luna, not quite understanding the situation.
Luna smiled at Doby, "Thank you Doby. Could you get me another toast please?"
Doby looked dubiously to Draco before hurrying off. Luna whipped her head around to look at Draco, "There is no need for you to be so rude to him."
Draco was surprised at how she vaguely reminded him of Hermione Granger. Granger based everything on facts and logic, Luna on faith. Granger was tanned, curvy and had big bushy brown hair. Luna was pale, slim and had blond hair. Yet there was a sense determination and confidence that both girls had. Draco didn't like Granger and he was sure not planning to like Luna. But he had to admit that Luna was right. So instead of making a snide remark he settled on ignoring her for a change. A tactic which might have been infuriating for him but Luna found it quite satisfying.
Draco nibbled on his diced apple and thought about what he was going to write to his father. His hangover seemed to have been taken care of and now he had bigger things to worry about.
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Luna left the kitchens with her toast and couldn't stop thinking about Malfoy. He was a funny being. A lot like Ron Weasley in a way. He was bad tempered, quick to be insulted and easy to enrage.
He could hurt her feelings, but those were just words. She could do a lot worse with them then deliberately asking after a dead person. Draco had a bloated ego, only a needle was needed to deflate it.
She stopped suddenly. She forgot all about why she had come to the kitchen in the first place. She raced back to the kitchen. Leelo stood by the portrait waiting for her and handed her the wooden bucket. Luna smiled at the house elf and gave her a quick stroke over the head before rushing of again. Draco saw the interaction and was curious. He rushed to catch up with her. She was heading for the Great Oak doors. "What's in the bucket Looney?"
Luna turned to look at him and said with a bright smile, "Pig ears, paws and noses. Chicken heads, legs and bones. The beak of a duck. The tail of a cow. Potatoe peeling and carrot top puree. Mashed sprouts mixed with rotten aubergine and to finish the meal of, it is covered with a cranberry horse blood sauce. Want some?"
Draco turned green, "I'd rather not." Luna nodded then kept on walking, a distant smile on her face. Draco blinked at being deserted so quickly already and stopped her again, he eyed the bucket then said in his nastiest snarl, "But what are you going to do with it?" Luna shifted the bucket to her other arm, "Its for Squiddy."
Draco raised his eyebrows, "Some treat." Luna smiled a genuine smile and Draco found himself quite liking it. "It's not of my own preference but Squiddy enjoys it." She explained.
"Cant she hunt in the lake though?" Draco asked, dimly realising he was having the first civil conversation in his life. Luna's eyes darted quickly to the ground, as if nervous, "It's good for a Squid to have some variation. Besides, whatever is in the Hogwart's lake isn't in the usual Squid diet."
"I'm not sure that…concoction you have there is part of a normal Squid diet." Draco countered. Luna's eyes narrowed, "Look Draco, it's none of your business. Now scamper to your dungeons like a good little boy." Draco blinked at the sudden change of tone.
Before he got to counter her with a sneer of his own she walked off briskly, whipping her long hair into his face.
Draco stood dumbfounded for a moment before a cool voice broke his line of thought. "My, my. I believe Draco Malfoy has found his match." Draco looked up, "Sod of Blaise. Go rape a first year for all I care."
Blaise pouted, and headed towards the Great Hall. When he passed Draco he hissed, "Denial."
Draco waited till Blaise was gone before rushing into the grounds. He walked quickly up the path, then he sauntered off into the grounds. It was a good morning for a stroll. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, wishing silently he had taken his coat with him. He passed a few courtyards, then reached the steps with would like down to the lake. Hogwarts stood elevated above the lake, on a type of cliff. By the lake's edge there were some trees where students enjoyed various way of making time pass. Doing homework and snogging were just a few.
Lovegood sat by the edge of the lake. A large tentacle hovered in front of her, nipping daintily at the bucket which stood in front of her. Draco never thought it possible that the Squid was capable of doing anything daintily.
He liked that the lake was mostly hidden from view. Luna knew where to pick her spots because this was one of the blind spots to curious eyes behind Hogwart's windows. Now that he was here he didn't know what to say to her. He sat down besides her, it was the first time he had seen her look really surprised but she didn't comment. They sat there silent for a moment. "What do you want Malfoy?"
"I'm curious. I've never seen the Squid really." Luna frowned, "I feel like your spying on us. You're too inquisitive if you ask me." Draco looked at her, "I'm not."
Luna now looked at him, "No to what? Spying on us or asking me?" Draco shrugged, "Both. I'm not who you think I am." Luna looked surprised again, which bothered Draco. "You're a Slytherin. Your father is an imprisoned Death eater. You have a bit of a reputation which is hard to ignore. Especially when dealing with the delicate matter we are dealing with now." Draco's ears perked, "What matter?"
"You are too inquisitive. If you want to know you're going to have to win my trust, which is not something I give away easily….amongst other things. Plus I'm aware of your reputation and I do not believe that you are one to bother winning my trust so please stop wasting your time and go." Draco made no move to go. Luna sighed, irritated. "Somebody trusts me and with you here I'm violating his or her trust so if you value your life and do not wish to be clouted to death by an evil Squid, I advice you to go."
Draco got up and left without a word. Luna let out a long relieved whistle. Squiddy had by now finished the buckets and raised herself lightly out of the water. Luna reached out and let her hand slide over her head, "You hang in there girl." She crooned, "I'm taking care of you,"
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A.N: The force pulls your hand to the review button :-D
If you have read this before :P then that is because I have yet again re-written it. I am now posting it under a new account.