I don't own any of the characters n this story. I just use these characters for the fun of it.
The True Mario Story
Mario just beat the 1,000,000,666,000 level…again and he goes into the tower. As Mario walks in he sees the Princess sitting on a toilet. He goes up to see if she's okay, but the smell makes him gag. She screams, "Mario, I've got the screamin squirts." Mario gags again and pukes up his testicles. Princess Peach, disgusted by what just happened, shoots Mario in the freakin head. At this time a hammer bro. Walks in holding hands with Luigi singing "How great it is to be loved by you." Then Princess says shocked, "What is going on here?" Luigi yells, " Oh my god call a plumber…oh wait I am a plumber. Gosh darnit I hate my job." This whole time the hammer bro. is doing the hammer dance. Then Bowser walks in with every Final Fantasy created and yells, "group orgy," Mario is in the middle! Then shockingly Bowser has his way with Mario's dead body. While Bowser is celebrating the CSI guy comes in and shoots Bowser in the head. Then Toad comes out of nowhere and kicks the CSI guy in the nutts. The CSI guy screams like a little girl and falls on Toad. At this time 43 gumbas come in and roll the CSI guy off of Toad. The King Gumba says, "Yay, fresh shrooms." The King eats Toad alive. Then a truck hits him. The truck comes to a stop and out comes George W. Bush. Bush says, "Uh..do you..strange lookin creatures know how to find Osama Bin Ladin?" Luigi walks up and slaps him in the face. Then he is sot by: 12 pistols, 11 machine guns, 10 tanks, 9 bombers, 8….., 2 anthrax viruses, and a bug. Then John Kerry looks out of the door of the truck and says sweetly, " Come back to safety, you little skipper you." The Bush left to the White House. When he got there he called up the Canadians…(start humming the Godfather theme song) So I hears you's been plotting stuff against us you stinkin Canadians we don't need no stinkin Canadians(hangs up the phone)" Say hello the my little friend" Bush pushes a big red button and blows apart the border between America and Canada.…its about time….then Canada sinks and the Canadians die. The super lube company man walks in and says, " Did you guys order some lube?" Oh that's John Kerry's. Ok meanwhile in the world of Final Fantasy, Anime people are still making those big-eyed ugly anime babies so they decide to assassinate George Bush so they can make normal babies. So they summon some monster thing with a big gay name and he kills Dubuyla (George Bush) and Bill Clinton comes back into power and he has another affair this time with Princess Peach. Of Course! Now the Princess has turned evil and decides to help Clinton make America a monarchy. Wait, holy sprinkle cream Fatman. Fatman and Muffin have come to kick Clinton in the face with their Super Unique Cream Kicks, also called S.U.C.K. Peach gets mad and transforms into a fat, ugly, grotesque, drug taking monster. She called herself Courtney Love. Then she killed every guy in the room and took their money. Then out of nowhere Mario comes in as an undead, ghost, zombie, mustard filled thing and rips her head off and yells, "I have slain the beast and 666 be they name," but Pikachu shows up and says, "Oh really fool now your in my house of pain," but Mario just pops his mustard filled thing and Pikachu dies but Les Paul stabs Mario in the head with a guitar so he dies again. Meanwhile in the world of Cinderella, Luigi is having his way with the evil stepmother. Cinderella walks in and drops her pussy…cat. She says " I thought you were with me Luigi?" He says, " I am girl I was just helping her with her cramps." Being a dumb blonde Cinderella believes him and leaves. Luigi gets hungry though so he goes and gets some Krabby Patties, but while he's coming home he gets shot by the Bourne Identity, but instead of dieing he goes to the Matrix where he meets Mario and Keanu Reeves. Then Keanu, The One says, " Some with me to meet the doctor. He goes by the name of Dr. Vanboobinmirebenbigstein. He has been…(Keanu says big words for about thirty minutes.)" Mario walks with him to the house. When he gets there he opens the door and Bowser is sting in a chair. Bowser gets up and says, "You have been brought to me for a reason. I will now say things in a riddle form to confuse you." After 43 minutes Mario shoots Bowser in the face. Mario walks outside and kicks Keanu in the nutts. Keanu screams and dies. Not before he coughs up his testicals. Then Mario gets a gat and some bling bling and goes to the hood. When he gets there he finds Zelda and Princess Peach in a bed doing stuff. So Mario gets angry and shoots Snoop Dogg. The Snoop Dogg's possie, of about 6,754,321,962,861,630.52, tramples Mario to death. Then Luigi gets angry and kills all of them with his Super Mega Ultra Crazy Kung Fu. Luigi falls over and dies from exhaustion. Big Foot comes in and eats Luigi. Then he craps out his stomach. Big Foot dies and gets eaten by a bunch of wild wart hogs. The wart hogs get slaughtered and turned into some Japanese food. The Japanese eat the meat and die from a new disease. Then after all of the whole world comes together to say, "Screw Canada."