Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine (and somewhat based off an episode of "Frasier" like many of my other Rumbelle one-shots.)

Archie took a deep breath before collapsing into a booth at Granny's and signaling Ruby over.

"What can I get you?" She asked with a smile. "Iced tea?"

"I know this will seem like a shock coming from me," he said. "But I…I think I need a drink."

"A drink?" Ruby asked in surprise. "Like, alcohol? Why?"

"Well, you know how I've promised to be here for everyone in this town when they have a problem," Archie replied. "Well, yesterday, Rumplestiltskin came into my office during a session for someone else and said we had to have an emergency conversation about his and his wife's marital problems. I don't know how he expects me to help him. I've already suggested everything that I could suggest. And he brought that Milah in a couple of times so they could have counseling together but she didn't listen to a thing I said."

"But you're going to try and help anyway because that's how you are, isn't it?" Ruby asked. "I wonder what he did to make Regina hate him so much that she took away all his magic and brought back his horrible wife. Not that I like to speak rude of people, but I can see why he killed her. She's an absolute nightmare! I guess if she'd taken away all his money, though, it would have been even worse for him."

"Now, now," Archie told her as he looked toward the door of the diner and saw Rumple approaching. "I'm sure she's not that bad. I'm sure deep, deep down there's some good in her. I just have to work even harder to find it!"

Ruby scoffed. "Well, I wish you the best of luck with that," she said. "And I'll be back with your drink in a bit. Ask Mr. Gold if he wants something too and then I'll get it when I come back."

"All right," Archie nodded as Rumple approached the table and sat down, his hands shaking a little. He looked exhausted.

"Thank you for seeing me here," he said. "I-I could really use the help."

"It's really no problem," Archie assured him. "Whatever I can do to help you and your wife, I'm glad to do. Now, will she be joining us?"

"No," Rumple shook his head. "She's gone off somewhere. I don't know where, though. She never tells me."

"Well, don't you think you should ask?" Archie pressed, his jaw dropping a little. "You're never going to fix your marital problems if you and she don't communicate."

"I really do try," Rumple assured him. "It's just that when I do, she gets mad and she yells. Sometimes I think she's going to hit me. I've taken to just leaving her be and avoiding all that. It's easier that way." He sighed and lay his head down on the table.

"What else can you tell me about your marital problems?" Archie pressed. "Because people don't just wake up one morning randomly and decide they hate their spouses. Has she told you what's making her upset?"

"Oh, it's so many things," Rumple replied, straightening his jacket out and shrugging. "So many problems that I can't even begin to know how to fix. Although the one she says most often is that she feels like we're in a rut."

"Well, there's a start," Archie encouraged with a smile. "What kind of a rut? Just a big deep rut all together?"

Rumple nodded.

Archie then leaned closer and said in a hushed voice,"I have an idea, but I don't think it's the sort of thing I feel comfortable talking about in public. Would you come with me to my office?"

"Of course," Rumple nodded. "Let's go. It's not like I don't have the time." He got up to follow Archie out of the café after Archie left money on the table to pay for his drink, but they paused by the door as Belle came in and nearly ran into them.

"Good morning, Miss French," Archie greeted her brightly. "How are things at the library today?"

"Wonderful!" Belle replied with a smile. "I just came to get some more coffee cause I'm almost out." She smiled widely. "And I just accepted a date. He's a musician and he's taking me to see his band perform tonight at the Rabbit Hole."

"The Rabbit Hole?" Rumple said with distaste. "That…that…hovel!"

"I like it," Belle smiled. "I think it's sort of fun."

"Yes," Rumple smiled painfully. "I do too."

"Well, I'm sure you two have more important things to do than stand here talking to me," Belle said after a minute or so of silence. "So I'll just get my coffee and be on my way."

But just as she turned, Rumple gently put a hand on her arm. "It's really not an inconvenience," he assured her with a smile. "I could talk to you all day."

Belle kissed him on the cheek. "You are so sweet," she complimented, stepping past him into the diner to get her coffee as he headed out into the sun.

"What a nice woman," he said, fondness obvious in his voice. "I like her."

Archie had also seen him looking after her with longing, which is something he knew he would have to mention at some point. He couldn't very well fix his marriage to his wife if he was thinking about someone else, could he?

They got to his office and when they were both seated, Archie cleared his throat and said, "Now, the question I'm about to ask you is sort of personal. Do you mind answering it?"

"Of course!" Rumple nodded earnestly. "Anything to fix my marriage."

"Right," Archie nodded, trying to sound encouraging instead of skeptical. "If everything is a problem in your marriage, we need to pick somewhere to begin, don't we? Why don't we start with…with your sex life. How is it?"

"Non-existent," Rumple said immediately. "I can't remember the last time she let me near her. I guess I'm just not good enough."

"Now, that's not true!" Archie shook his head. "You just have to attack things from a different angle. Have you tried any sexual role-playing? How do you feel about that?"

"I-I've never actually tried it, but I suppose I could," Rumple nodded. "Think of some dashing romantic figure to become and try and entice my Milah that way."

"Yes!" Archie nodded. "It might not fix things permanently, but at least it's a start. Do you need me to give you any more advice?"

"No, this is good for now, thank you," Rumple assured him. He shook his hand and then strode out of the office, leaving Archie to hope that things would at least begin to be better for those two. That's what he hoped with everything he had in him. That or (in a less optimistic part of his mind) that he start making extended trips to the library.

The next evening Archie was awakened by a loud, insistent knock on the door of his apartment. It took him a little bit to wake up and realize what was going on but when he opened the door, he had to try really hard not to laugh. Rumple was standing on the other side wearing a frilly white shirt, tight red pantaloons, and black boots. "Let me in," he begged. "Please!"

"Of course!" Archie replied and let him in. "Come sit down and tell me what happened. Can we assume that it didn't go well?"

"Is it that obvious?" Rumple asked. "It started out well enough. I wrote Milah a list of clues to follow so she could find where I was hiding out. But while I waited in one of the downstairs closets wearing nothing but an eye patch, one of our maids flung the door open and began screaming at me just in time for Milah to show up. She wouldn't let me explain! She just threw my clothes at me and ordered me out of the house! My god, I'm so embarrassed!" He put his head in his hands as Archie put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," he said. "These things happen. Maybe sexual roleplay was a bit ambitious and we should try something else."

"Oh, don't bother!" Rumple yelled, his voice full of feeling. "We've passed the point of no return! She told me she was done and that she was running off with someone else."

"Who else?" Archie asked. "Did she tell you?"

"No, she hadn't found anyone yet, but a group of sailors just stopped by," Rumple said. "And she always told me she wanted to see the world. I bet she'll run off with one of them."

"I'm sorry," Archie told him. "But maybe it's for the best. If you don't want to be alone tonight, you can stay here on my couch and then go home tomorrow."

"Thank you," Rumple told him. "Thank you very much."

A few days later, after having breakfast with Archie and thanking him for the use of his couch, Rumple left Archie's apartment and began heading in the direction of the shop, but stopped halfway there, turned around, and headed to the library. Now that Milah was gone, he felt it was all right for him to at least have a chat with a certain pretty blue-eyed librarian. He strode into the library with a spring in his step and a smile on his face, all his embarrassment from the night before forgotten. He approached the desk where Belle was checking books in and leaned against it. "Hello," he said. "Would you happen to know where I could get a library card?"

"Well, yes!" Belle smiled and put the pile of books aside. "Of course I can help you with that. I've been wondering when you would stop by my library and ask me for a library card." She leaned closer to him. "Or something more."

"How about after you give me the library card, we have a cup of that coffee you bought the other day?" Rumple suggested.

"All right," Belle replied. "I can give you a tour while we drink it."

"Wonderful," Rumple smiled and offered her his arm. They walked to the break room and Belle made them coffee. Then she left one of her helpers in charge of the circulation desk while she and Rumple strolled through the aisles hand in hand, drinking coffee as she told him what was where. Then she gave him a wink and after they threw their coffee cups in the trash, led him to a door that you had to have a key to get into.

"What's in here?" Rumple asked, his voice full of interest.

"This is where the adult books are," Belle whispered intensely, her gaze hot. "Why don't you come in with me and look at them?"

"All right," Rumple said immediately and let her pull him inside. She shut the door firmly behind them and locked it, then grabbed one of the books, turned to a particularly steamy section, and began reading it to him. Her voice was like velvet as she read about the pair of lovers stripping off their clothes and running their hands over each other's bodies as their lips crashed together, their kisses becoming less and less tame, and their tongues intertwined and they bit one another's lips. After she was done with the passage, she threw the book aside and strode up to him, their lips inches apart. "I've been wanting to see you for a long time," she told him and ran her thumb in a circular motion around his palm. "But you were married so I stayed away. Do I have to stay away any more?"

"No," Rumple shook his head, his voice just as intense as hers. "My wife is gone. She's left me."

"Well, she's an idiot," Belle replied. "But I can't say I'm not glad. It means all the more for me. Oh, and when I came by the diner the other day when you were there with Archie, it wasn't just to get coffee. I wanted to see you. You better start coming by the library more often now. You have no excuse."

"Why don't you come to my house for dinner?" Rumple asked. "I really hate to eat alone."

"Can we have hamburgers?" Belle asked. "And iced tea? That's what I like."

"Of course," Rumple nodded. "Whatever you want. Would eight o'clock work for you? Or is that too late?"

"Let's make it seven." Belle decided.

"All right," Rumple nodded. "Seven it is." He took a deep breath and then kissed her deeply, his hands going down her body as she played with his hair. Then, they separated as they heard a knock on the door. "Miss French?" A voice called. "I need some help."

"Just a minute!" Belle yelled back, her hand still clasping Rumple's. "I'll be right there." She then smiled at Rumple apologetically. "Sorry. Duty calls."

"That's all right," Rumple told her. "I probably need to get back to the shop anyway. Thanks for the coffee and…and the story."

"No problem," Belle replied with a wink and put a hand on his chest. "Any time you want another, just come by and I'll be more than happy to oblige. Oh, and before you go, we need to get you your library card. Unless you don't want one and it was just a ruse to come here."

"Oh, no," Rumple shook his head. "I really want one."

So they got him his library card and then, with one last kiss goodbye, Rumple headed for the shop, and then waited as the day slowly went by. Then he closed up, got the meal and some flowers, and then, after setting things up for dinner, went and met Belle at her house so they could walk back to his apartment together.

"Thank you for the red roses," Belle smiled and sniffed them as she locked her front door behind her. "They're lovely."

They then walked back to the shop together and Rumple led her to his apartment. "Sorry it's a bit small," he apologized. "But it's really convenient for getting to work."

"Oh, I think it's lovely," Belle replied.

Rumple then got out the burgers and the tea and set Belle's down in front of her before taking a seat in the chair across from her. "Before we eat, I'd like to make a toast," Rumple said and held his glass up.

"All right," Belle smiled. "Let's hear it."

"To us," Rumple said. "Although it was unfortunate that I lost my wife, she's moved on to better things, and so have I."

"Well, aren't you sweet?" Belle smiled as she toasted. They then ate their burgers and drank their tea, and then when they were done and had cleared the dishes away, Rumple let her buy one thing from the shop and then took her home, giving her a kiss at the door and saying, "Do you want to have dinner again tomorrow?"

"Of course," Belle nodded. "I can't wait. Goodnight, Rumple."

"Goodnight, Belle," Rumple replied with a smile. He got one more hug out of her before she went inside and then he turned around, went back to the shop, and lay awake in bed, smelling the scent of her perfume which still hung in the air of the apartment and feeling much better about his life than he had a few days before.

The End