Title: The Begin of the Madness: Karoke Night
Rating: G
Genre: Humor/Fluff
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the IY people. ::tear:: Or the songs I might use in this story. Or anything else mentioned, for that matter. I also don't own the Weasly twins from Harry Potter, who are mentioned here. But that's okay because I do own my own character (which is the waitress). And I also happen to own the crowd. Dark Jisushiku and I both own Tony's Place. Uhhh...well I guess that's it. :)
Author's Notes: My first story, so please be kind. Please, please, please R&R!!!
"Kagome, what are we doing in your era? I thought you said you sensed a jewel shard."
"Oh, yeah, um... I think it's in this club." Kagome led Inu-Yasha to a club with a bright neon sign saying TONY'S PLACE. There was a smaller sign saying Karoke Every Friday Night. They walked through the door, Inu- Yasha lingering farther behind Kagome.
"Well, where's the shard?" Inu-Yasha asked sharply.
Kagome smiled sheepishly.
"Wait a minute, Kagome... Shippo, Sango, Kirara, Miroku, and... Sesshomaru? Why are you here? How is it even possible that you're here?"
"We're here for this so-called 'Karoke Night' thingy. And how we came doesn't matter as long as we're here, right, Inu-Yasha? Why are you here?" Shippo blurted out.
Kagome started to explain, but the music began and everyone turn their heads to the stage. Sesshomaru was on stage... SINGING?! (What was the world coming to?)
"I'm too sexy for my love,
Too sexy for my love.
Love's going to leave me .
"I'm too sexy for my shirt,
Too sexy for my shirt.
So sexy it hurts.
"And I'm too sexy for my land.
Too sexy for my land.
China and Japan.
"And I'm too sexy for your party,
Too sexy for your party,
Hey, what is disco dancing?
"I'm a model you know what I mean,
And I do my little turn on the catwalk.
Yeah, on the catwalk on the catwalk!
Yeah, I shake my little touché on the catwalk!
"I'm too sexy for my minion,
Too sexy for my minion,
I don't care for his opinion!
"I'm too sexy for my love,
Too sexy for my love.
Love's going to leave me!
"And I'm too sexy for this song."
Applause roared in crowd, as Sesshomaru stepped off stage. He was off to kill all who laughed at his "awkward" moments during the song. Shortly after disappearing into the alley behind the club with several humans, he was back.
"Wow, where'd you learn to sing like that?!?" Shippo's eyes were bigger than usual with astonishment.
"I have a lot of free time," he replied sharply, turning his head to find that Shippo had ran on stage to try to sing like his new idol.
"Ladies and gentlemen! I want to sing for you "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Shippo cleared his throat and began:
"Twinkle, Twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Like a diamond in the sky
Up above the world so high.
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are."
Murmurs arose and rippled into hysterical laughter at the fox demon's song. But Shippo shook his head when they started to clap, saying, "Wait, hold your applause! I have another song that you'll love!"
A quick grin and one 'ahem' later, and the young demon was ready to begin.
"I'm Henry the 8th I am,
I'm Henry the 8th I am, I am,
I'm getting married to the widow next door!
She's been married SEVEN times before!
"It's always been a 'Henry,'
She wouldn't take a Willie or a Sam!
I'm the 8th old man, I'm Henry,
Henry the 8th I am, I am,
Henry the 8th I am!
"2nd verse same as the first!
"I'm Henry the 8th I am,
I'm Henry the 8th I am, I am,
I'm getting married to the widow next door!
She's been married SEVEN times before!
"H-E-N-R-Y!!!" (The crowd helped him out here.)
"Henry! Henry! Henry the 8th I am, I am! Henry the I am!"
The crowd clapped and the ladies went goo-goo over how cute he was. He head towards his friends' table and sat down in his chair. Satisfied, Shippo rested his hands behind his head and crossed one short leg over the other.
"So whatcha think of that, Fluff-ball?" Shippo said smugly to Sesshomaru. The dog-demon just glared at him. (So much for Shippo admiring his talents...) Growling, the white demon stopped and turned his head to face the next act.
On stage this time was... Kagome. She tapped on microphone. It squeaked with an argument and everyone cover their ears.
"Ugh... is this thing on? Oh, I guess so because I'm echoing! Well, here goes nothing."
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you
"Nobody knows where my Inu has gone
But Kikyo left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you
"Then all my records keep dancing all night
But leave me alone for a while
'Til Inu's dancing with me
I've got no reason to smile
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you
"Kikyo and Inu just walked thru the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Kikyo wearing his ring
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you
"Oh-oh-oh It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to..... "
Kagome jumped off stage, as the crowd slowly clapped. Pleased with herself, she sat down.
Just then a perky waitress bounced toward their table.
"What'da you folks want? Water, milk, soda pop, or a Shirly Temple? Or even a pizza?!" The waitress took her writing pad out, waiting for her customers to order. She had fiery hair that was constrained in a tight bun on the top of her head. Giving them a rather impatient glare, she waited, fidgeting with her shiny, ball-point pen.
"Just water would be fine," Kagome answered for them all, receiving some angry comments from her companions. They didn't enjoy being spoken for...
"Okay, I'll be right back!" And the waitress left with a skip.
"Hey, where's Miroku...?" Just as Sango finished her sentence music started.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Mambo Number 5," announced the monk, grinning like the Cheshire Cat himself from on stage. Sango and Kagome both lifted an eyebrow, as Miroku grabbed one top hat off a gentlemen in the audience and began to sing.
"One, two, three, four, five
Everybody in the wagon, so come on
Let's ride to the merchant around the corner
The boys say they want some pocky and juice
"But I really don't wanna
Pockybust like I had last week
I must stay deep
Because talk is cheap
"I like Sango, Kagome, Kikyo and Kaede
And as I continue you know
They are getting sweeter
So what can I do I really beg and you my Lord
To me flirting it's just like sport, anything fly
It's all good let me dump it
Please set in the trumpet
"A little bit of Kagome in my life
A little bit of Kikyo by my side
A little bit of Rin is all I need
(Sesshomaru let out a loud growl and then realized who his next victim should be.)
"A little bit of Yura is what I see
A little bit of Kagura in the sun
A little bit of Kanna all night long
A little bit of Sango here I am
A little bit of you makes me your man
"And jump and down go and move it all around
Shake your head to the sound
Put your hand on the ground
"Take one step left
And one step right
One to the front and one to the side
Clap your hands once
And clap your hands twice
And if it looks like this
Then you are doing it right
(The monk boogied-down around the stage, cauing his friends to go bug-eyed at the performance.)
"A little bit of me in their life
("BOOOOOO!" shouted Sango, waving her fist.)
"A little bit of Inu by their side
A little bit of me is all they need
A little bit of Sessy is what they see
("Ex-CUSE me?!" snarled the so-called 'Sessy.' "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH WITH THE PET NAMES!)
"A little bit of me in the sun
A little bit of Shippo all night long
(Kagome screamed indignantly, "SHIPPO'S TOO YOUNG FOR A GIRL FRIEND, YOU IDIOT!")
"A little bit of Myoga here he is
A little bit of me makes me your man!!!
(More booing from the girls...)
"I do all
To fall in love with a girl like you
You can't run and you can't hide
You and my gonna touch and sky -"
At this point, Kirara leaped from Sango's side to promptly chase the perverted monk off the stage.
"Man, that guy is deeply disturbed," Inu-Yasha muttered and the his elder brother agreed silently. (Wow, that was a FIRST for the history books!)
Kagome and Sango agreed loudly, shouting, "GET OFF THE STAGE, MORON! WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GIRL-FANTASIES!"
Miroku jumped off stage and sat down. He looked satisfied with himself and also relieved that no one had slapped him yet. Then he look over at Sango... DUN DUN DUN...
SLAP. Okay, should have seen that one coming...
Smiling, Sango walked up to the stage. She took the microphone and waited for own her background music.
"Everybody was kung-fu fighting HI-YA!
Those slayers were fast as lightning HI-YA!
In fact it was a little bit frightening HI-YA!
We fought with expert timing HI-YA!
"They were funky slayers from a funky town
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down
It's an ancient slayin' art and everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip
"Everybody was kung-fu fighting HI-YA!
I was fast as lightning HI-YA!
In fact we were really frightening HI-YA!
We fought with expert timing HI-YA!
"There was funky Daddy-o and little bro
He said here comes the big demon, lets get it to go
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a brand-new trip
"But those demons tried kung-fu fighting HI-YA!
They weren't as fast as lightning HI-YA!
Their stupidity was super-frightening HI-YA!
And they forgot about our expert timing HI-YA!
"Make sure you have expert timing
Before you try kung-fu fighting, HI-YA!!!"
Applause arose from the audience. The demon slayer blushed and quickly jumped off stage, returning to her seat. Kirara pounced into her lap.
"Hey, I brought the water." The caffine-O.D.ed waitress put her tray down and passed out the waters. Then she left to go sing. Running up on the stage, she prepared herself. Bubbly and beaming, she said, "YO! What's shakin' cool cats? I'm shakin' with the bebop, yo! And I don't mean Cowboy Bebop! Ha, ha, ha!"
Awkward silence...
"Anywho, my phat name is Blondie! At least, I think it is," she giggled, looking absent-minded. "Oh, and my hair natural color is red! At least, I think it is. And I use the Himura shampoo out of Fluffy Magazine [1]! At least, I think I do!" She took a deep breath, not noticing that the crowd had now deemed her certifiably crazy. "Here I go!"
A swing tune started to play, and for some reason, it sounded familiar...
"So, for all the Tony Family, this is Red Blondie saying," she said in a childish voice.
"Hey, demon man!
Hey, swing band!
You've both got your style."
"But brother (or "sister" the girls yelled), you're never fully dressed
Without a smile
Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly
They stand out a mile
But brother you're never fully dressed
Without a smile
Who cares what they're wearing on Main Street or Saville Row
It's what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe
What matters... Ah, the lovely Priestess Sisters:
Doo doodle-oo doo Doo doodle-oo doo Doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo
Who cares what they're wearing on Main Street or Saville Row
It's what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe that matters
So, Senator, so, janitor
So long a while
Remember you're never fully dressed -
Though you wear the best -
You're never fully dressed without a
Smile!
Smile! SMILE, SMILE!
Smile, darn ya, Smile..."
Awkward silence... Blondie started to walk off stage, but she trip and instead fell off. Embarrassed, the ditz went back to the kitchen.
Pause...
"So we've all sang... Everyone, but Inu-Yasha." Everyone look at Inu- Yasha with suspicious eyes. "What are you waiting for?" pressured Kagome. But before Inu-Yasha could get a word in the gang had thrown him onto the wooden stage. CLUNK.
"When I get finished with this they're dead. Feh" Nervously, he eyed the waiting crowd. Then his golden eyes turned to his next victims (also known as his so-called 'pals')...
"Get your body runnin'
Head out this pathway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes my way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a cold embrace
Fire all of your arrows at once
And fly into the chase
I like shards and fighting
Heavy swords thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under ("...medication!" added Sesshomaru in a snide voice.)
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a freezing embrace
Fire all of your spears at once
And howl into the race
Like a true nature's child
I'm born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild"
Inu -Yasha flew off the stage to chase his prey.
"AAAHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Shippo screamed, as the furious demon headed their way. The gang ran around the room like chickens with their heads cut off. And around and around and around they went, very similar to an out of control merry-go-round.
"INU-YASHA, SIT BOY!"
BOOM!
Then gang ran for they're lives, scrambling out the of Tony's before Inu-Yasha got off the floor... Past the tables...! Past the phat Blondie (who needed medical attention in Kagome's opinion)...! Past the register...! Out the door....!
They're going... going... GONE!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
"God rest ye merry hippogriffs!" caroled two lanky redheads in silly English accents, waltzing into Tony's Place with identical smirks on their faces. "Let nothing ye dismay -!"
They were interrupted by the howls and yelps of many Japanese humans and demons racing out of the club. A white, holy terror was at their heels, gnawing at their legs. Claws tried feverishly to shred the group's flesh. A tall, frantic, fiery-haired waitress was behind them, screaming, "STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE ...!"
The British twins turned to each other and then watched the crowd dash by. The waitress collapsed in the door way, still screeching, "STOP THE MADNESS!..."
"Japanses blokes," muttered the first one. "Mental... the whole lot of 'em..."
"Shall we go, George?" the second asked, bowing slightly.
"After you, Fred," the first one replied, winking and pulling out a wooden stick. Actually, it was wizarding wand, but no 'normal' person would realize that.
"WAIT!" cried the redheaded waitress, crawling over and clinging to the twins' legs. "WE NEED YOU TO SING! KEEP THE CROWD BUSY WHILE I TRY TO STOP THE MADNESS!"
... Kagome's screams illuminated the night with a painful tone. Inu-Yasha, apparently, was extremely busy at the moment...
"PLEASE!" moaned Blondie, as she pulled the wizard twins into the club.
"Okay, okay, lady!" Fred commented, stumbling into Tony's.
George did the same, murmuring, "She's more mental than Hermione..."
Blondie turned back and stormed into the alley where Inu-Yasha was currently beating up his 'prey.' The twins cautiously hopped on stage and stared blankly at the crowd.
"Okay, um... this is a duet we like to sing....," Fred announced, the crowd going silent.
All eyes were on them... You could hear pins drop.... You could hear the crickets outside... Never was there a more curious pair than those two (and judging on their recent singers, THAT was saying something)...
"God rest ye merry hippogriffs
Let nothing ye dismay
For Dumbledore, our favorite
Was born sometime in June
To save us all from Voldemort
(Everyone raised a questioning eyebrow at the two. What were they talking about?)
And destory him very soon
Oh, oh, tidings of Harry and Ron (Harry and Ron)
Ooh....oh... tidings of Harry and Ron..."
The twins took an awkward bow.
...more crickets and pins dropping...
"Well," gulped Fred, turning to his brother. "This is boring."
The other nodded and poof, they were gone. Meanwhile, Blondie was wrestling with Inu-Yasha, still screaming, "STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE -!"
And that's how Kagome's fun plans for karoke ended...
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
(After Hours:)
"STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE MADNESS!" Blondie shouted at the top of her lungs!
"Uhh... Lady, it's over..."
"OH! BYE, PEOPLES! BYE! AND REMEMBER TO SMILE!"
THE END
A/N's: I'm finished!!! Oh, and please R-E-V-I-E-W!!!
[1] Himura, as in Kenshin Himura from Rurouni Kenshin. Fluffy Magazine, as in Fluffy Magazine Online that carries tips on anime hair-treatment, cool clothes, and other fun quizzes and junk.