Venus
by Tina
---EDITED-
Just to inform you guys that this chapter has been edited. Not much over all, but things I felt that sounded better this way. More information about it can be found in the beginning of the 4th chapter.
---PLEASE READ THIS-
Ok, so... I know I haven't finished 'And I Feel Home' yet, but c'mon, only an epilogue to go. When I said I was going to start a fluff-fic, this is not the fic I was refering to. So beware, this is certainly NOT a fluff-fic!
This fic... whoa, it's so hard to explain. I had this idea a long - I mean LONG - time ago. And I've always wanted to finish it (I've had quite a lot of it written at some point!). But I guess part of me didn't think I had enough maturity to do so. I'm still not sure I'm mature enough to do it, but I really want to. I owe this to a lot of people. These characters... man... I've come up with them a long time ago, along with the idea of the fic. It's weird because in so many ways it's like they exist somehow. I know them too well, we could sit down here and I could tell you all about their lives! And I'm in love with each one of them :P But... I'm aprehensive. Why? Because out of all the main characters of this fic, you just originally know two of them. Yup, Ross and Rachel. The other members of the gang? Nuh-uh, not in this fic!
See, this fic is supposed to be a continuation of an old fic of mine called 'The girl in the mirror'. You DON'T need to read that in order to understand it. In fact, I'd prefer that you didn't, lol, since I hate that one now. All you need to know will be explained as this fic goes... But, ok, just to place you a bit... Summary of the fic: Rachel dates Ross, Rachel breaks up with him because of her popular friends, Rachel gets anorexic, Ross helps her out of it, R&R get back together and then Rachel moves to London! That's it. This story is all based in London. Now... I WILL talk a lot about the new characters. I sincerely hope you like them. There will be a lot R&R too, of course, but there will be a lot of other stuff. Most of the content will be ADULT. I most likely will make a LOT of R rated chapters because of it. So if you don't feel comfortable reading about sexuality (hetero, homo and bisexual), I suggest you don't read this. I probably will fail giving this the atention I feel it deserves, but the best I can do is try, right?
This chapter's only an introduction of the first few characters, really... Hope you like it and please, your reviews is the only way for me to know what you think!!
Disclaimer: Ross Geller, Rachel Green and other minor characters from the t.v. show 'Friends' do not belong to me. They belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane in association with Warner Bros. Gwen, Michelle, Helen and the rest of the new characters in this fic are mine. This story is also mine and you need my permition to post it anywhere.
I would like to dedicate this story to Lili, Irene, Kristen, Vero and the other girls out there in the world. This is for you. Although I'm sure guys might also enjoy it, lol! Just a girls' view on girl stuff! Trying to be honest, here...!
Now I'll stop bothering ya..! Scroll down already and read ;)
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"Come my little Venus
Wrapped in shadows, yeah you're one of us
And I hear the footsteps inside your head
Walking, trying to find yourself
I found myself in you
Let me in, let me breathe
Yeah I found myself in you
Oh yeah..."
Algebra was a pain on the ass under any normal circunstance. When you parents couldn't stop shouting on the next room, it was unbearable. Rachel shoved her books aside, there was no way she would be able to focus like that.
She stared at the ceiling.
It had become a routine her parents were becoming masters at. Since the relocation to a smaller city just outside London, the fights had become more constant and verbally agressive. It seemed like a day couldn't go by without a big comotion at the Green household anymore.
But still... Rachel liked England. After everything she'd gone through in Long Island, a change like that was very much needed. At the prime of her 17 years, she well knew there was much to life than the little routine she led in the States. Her little bubble had long ago bursted and she was now facing life face to face. It seemed scary at times, but she was brave and it made her feel, oh, so proud of herself. And so, after four months living in the new country, she was already developing roots and settling down.
Of course there was much she missed from her previous home. Her friends - specially best friend Monica - her school, the shopping malls, the rest of her family... But the one name on top of that list would always be his; Ross Geller's.
When she left, they'd made a promise they would go on with their lives, even though they knew that wasn't a goodbye. Neither wanted the other to put things on hold, risk their happiness over that. Life was supposed to go on. But as time went by, it seemed neither was capable to simply 'let go'. It proved to be a much more complicated task than it apeared at first thought.
So they talked to each other practicly everyday, on the Internet. The letters and packages were constant, the phonecalls weekly and they'd always end with an "I love you". Both had recently installed microphones and webcams on their computers, which made things easy.
Hah, easy... Anything but, in fact. But it helped. As days went by, they lived their lives enjoying things as they could and counting as days passed by. Though Rachel was enjoying her time in England, she still planned on going to college in the US. Ross had just been accepted at NYU, where he was going to be majoring in paleontology. That's where Rachel wanted to go. Didn't matter really where, really, just as long as she was with him. And then she'd be back. For good.
The shouting got louder and Rachel's eyes filled up with tears. Most of the times she felt bad for the whole scenario, her family was falling apart and she just knew it. But a tiny part of her wished her mother would just get it over with, ask for a divorce and take her and her sisters back to America.
She shook her head, she shouldn't be asking for such thing.
But facing reality, the divorce bit seemed like the most likely possibility for them. They have never been the picture perfect family - well, except when they were indeed posing for pictures. They were, under this circunstance, everything you'd expect from a perfect family. Their smiles were wide, they all looked so good. But it was just the outside... In the everyday life, they'd always been distant, sometimes cold or even cruel. And it all just seemed to get worse now.
The relationship Rachel mantained with her two younger sisters had always been dreadful. Now, it was... Rachel couldn't even find a word to define it. Amy was just about two years younger than Rachel, fifteen. Amy came again two years after her, she was thirteen. Both vowed never to forgive the eldest for her decision to study in an all girls school. Given that Leonard Green applauded her decision, he'd decided to extend the it upon the other two.
Rachel didn't know why, but just being around other girls made her feel closer to Ross. She was not about to question that and maybe ruin that warm feeling that still lived inside of her. She treasured it more than anything.
The notes on her note books called out for her. The numbers seemed to dance and mock her. She was so gonna fail.
"Argh!!" she couldn't help but let out.
With that, she picked up her books and unsucessfully resumed trying to do her homework.
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Rachel approached the old school builting with bags under her eyes. Bla, she didn't care. For the first time, she truthfully didn't care. The gardens through which she made her way were vast. A grey brick path lead her to the main builting, which had high ceiling and consisted of dark stone walls. It had a gothic look to it, almost looked ike an old church. Opulent, it made you feel incredibly small in all its plenitude.
She was wearing the infamous school uniform. Despite her passion for fashion, Rachel sometimes had to admit she quite liked the fact they all had to use uniforms. It put everybody in the same level, one way or another. It consisted on a knee-high white, dark red and navy blue squared skirt, a white shirt, a navy blue sweater with the school emblema, a dark red tie, white socks and black shoes. It amazed Rachel how some people still managed to let a bit of their personality show wearing the same combination as the others.
By the steps, three girls sat around; a blonde, a brunette and a red haired. The brunette looked up and waved at Rachel. Rachel smiled and waved back.
"You look awful!" she commented.
"Geez, Helen, thanks"
"Morning!" the blonde had a cute smile on her face and winked at Rachel.
Rachel smiled back.
"Good morning, Michelle"
Rachel joined them on the steps and noticed Michelle and Helen were copying what it seemed to be the red haired's Algebra home work. The latter had her head low, resting on her lap. Rachel greeted her with a gentle kick.
"G'morning, Gwen"
Gwen granted herself the right to just hold a hand up and wave. Rachel chuckled.
"Did you do it?" Helen asked, motioning to the homework they were copying.
"Tried. I'm gonna have to check the answers though, my parents were fighting last night and I couldn't concentrate"
Though Rachel's statement came out quite cooly, the blonde still looked up with her with the most sympathetic smile she'd ever seen.
"Again?"
"Yeah..."
"How are you feeling?" she went on.
"I'm fine..."
The girls sympathetically smiled at her and Rachel hided her sorrow by doing the same. She quickly gathered her things and started checking her homework.
The glorious silence that fell upon them just reminded Rachel of how great things could be there. She'd found a great group of friends that, okay, could not possibly replace the others she'd left behind - it was not a competition, each was special in their own single way - but gave her everything she needed at the time.
They were different from one another and even very different from Rachel. But she knew that if she picked up a few qualities of each one of them, she'd have all of her own. The diversity was positive. The girls held great respect for one another's view and really loved them for who they were. Just the way they were.
First, there was Helen. It was her Rachel met first and maybe that's why she was the one she felt closest to. So much sometimes Rachel had to stop herself from calling her 'Monica'. Helen was the most random of them all, a "girl next door", to use an american expression. The first thing to you'd notice about her was that Helen always had a smile upon her face. Extremely funny, straight foward, sweet and caring. Deep down, though, she had a lot of unfinished business with herself that she never exposed for anyone to see. In that aspect, you could say she sometimes used her good social skills to keep people away, if that made any sense. She was median high, median built, staight brown hair with some reddish strips and brown eyes.
Gwen... An interesting person, to say the least. Rachel refered to her as a walking contradiction. She was skinny, had chin length red hair, green eyes, about eight piercings and five tattoos through her body. Despite the fact they were prohibited at school as they did not make part of the uniform set, an exception had been secretly made just for her due her exceptional academic skills. Gwen was always supposed to represent the school in educational matches and did it with great displeasure for she hated the idea of competition. But, you do what you gotta do...! Despite all her praises at school, Gwen wasn't the kind of girl who took it very seriously. She had other things in mind. She was revolutionary, always discussing political matters with teachers. Ones which, sometimes, ended with a visit to the principal's office. She could become quite quiet sometimes, but Rachel knew her to be very sensitive.
Michelle... How could someone even begin to describle such angelical person? She was undoubtfully the cutest and sweetest person Rachel had ever met. Her looks were by far the one that matched the most with her personality. She had long blond hair with big soft curls and cute bangs, cyan blue eyes, white cheeks that were often spotted in shades of bright pink and some could say she was a bit chubby. To Rachel, her curves only accented her adorable qualities. She was always in a good mood, laughing and being the romantic fool she refered herself to be. Sometimes her other three friends just couldn't help it, they hugged her till she groaned in pain. She was that cute.
Michelle was drawing little hearts and butterflies next to her unfinished home work. Noticing Rachel's look on her, she looked up and smiled that enchanting smile of hers. Sometimes she reminded Rachel of a five years old. Rachel laughed. Then she looked at Gwen again. She had raised her head again to look at Rachel. Her uniform tie was loosen and her hair was a mess.
"You okay?", Rachel asked.
"Hmmmm, school sucks. I hate mondays" she whispered.
Rachel laughed and leaned against Gwen, who giggled. Helen looked at them and smiled, but quickly resumed copying the homework. Rachel turned her atention back to Helen.
"Your hair looks different"
"Caramel, you like it?"
"It goes with you"
"Thanks"
"You guys gotta do mine sometime"
Short silence followed.
"What are you guys doing tomorrow after school?" Rachel asked.
"I'm hunting an elephant, you?" Helen replied sarcastically, making the other girls laugh.
"Good, so you won't annoy us with your sarcastic comments" Gwen stepped in.
Helen smiled at Gwen.
"Don't we need a little sugar to easy this bitterness? Seriously, less coffee for breakfast"
"Seriously, shopping tomorrow" Rachel resumed.
"What's the ocasion?", Michelle asked.
"Er, do we need an ocasion to shop?", Rachel asked.
Helen and Michelle soon agreed, but Gwen was too engrossed on looking at her shoes to pay atention.
"Gwen?", Helen spoke louder.
"Yes?"
"You coming tomorrow?"
"Oh, sure, count me in".
Soon the bell rang and Helen still managed to copy the rest of the home work in time, just seconds before they entered a classroom together. The four of them pretty much had the same time table. English came first and it ended fairly quickly. All the girls had to do was sit through Mrs. Paris' nagging about the writing folio deadline, the following week. Of course neither had done a thing up till then, but they had time, they figured.
Fifty minutes after the first class had started, Rachel and Helen were beginning another class together, the form class. Everyday they'd sit there, read - or at least pretend to - and listen to the school news. Every tuesday they could skip the reading and just listen to the news so they could all go to assembly. However, the girls always made sure they all ran to the nearest mall to miss that. They simply hated having to stand up to the hypocrate and stuck up students who insisted on being elected school president.
"No Doubt or Macy Gray?" Helen said as she leaned back on her chair and picked up her discman.
Rachel threw her bag on the table next to her friend, on the last row.
"I don't know, what CDs?"
Helen rolled her eyes
"The one with 'ex-girlfriend' and the one with 'I try'"
"Hmmm, Macy Gray"
"Was that hard?" Helen mocked as she put the CD on.
Each took one ear phone and plugged them into their ears. Helen took the book she had been pretending to be reading since the beginning of the year, months ago. She opened it in an aleatory page. Aside from that, she didn't make any effort to try and pretend she was reading it.
If anyone asked her the title of the book, she would most likely miserably fail to answer. She could only recognise it in the pile of books because of the colorful cover. It always made her smile a little, she never knew exactly why. Ah, she knew the teacher was no stupid. Mr. Judkins was on his late fifties, friendly fellow with the girls. Sometimes he gave them lollipops and other goodies they did nothing to deserve.
"Hey, you wanna go out this weekend?" Helen asked Rachel. "I can't stand staying in anymore. Not after all the studying for the exams. I need to go out, it's serious!"
"Sure. Where do you wanna go?"
"Well, I was thinking we could make some fake IDs and get into a pub! How's that?"
"Fantastic, specially when my dad finds out!"
Helen shot Rachel a look.
"Oh, and it has to be after eight" Rachel continued. "There's gonna be this 'I love Lucy' special on t.v. saturday night and I'm thinking Michelle won't miss it for the world."
Helen looked at Rachel for a while, thoughtful.
"Any chance we can convince her it's a rumor?"
Rachel laughed.
-
During lunch break, the girls layed on the grass of the rugby fiel. Michelle was telling them about a romantic movie she'd seen on t.v. the day before. She never forgot the lines and would quote them herself, trying to repeat the same emotion. Helen and Rachel were smiling and laughing at Michelle's atempts. Gwen, however, was still looking down and ocasionally staring at a group of other people while the others chatted. They noticed it and tried to bring her into the converation a few times. Usucessfully. It was Michelle who eventually took a better shot.
"Gwen, sweetie, are you on?"
Gwen quickly looked at her and then shook her head, smiling very weakly.
"I'm just weird today...! Don't worry" She sighed and continued. "You know when you just wanna... disappear? Go home, lay down in bed and stay there till like next year? For no reason at all."
They all nodded.
"Well, get better"
Michelle stroked her shoulder.
"What did you girls do yesterday?", Gwen asked before giving a generous bite on her tunna sanduich.
"Barbecue at the church", Michelle answered first. "Had to help mom with all the food".
"That's the bad part of being a reverend's daughter. No offence, of course" Helen commented.
"None taken, it's truth. Even though I like those and all... they can be a bitch sometimes".
The other girls exchanged looks and burst into laughter, leaving Michelle confused and a little frustrated.
"Whaaaat? I can say bad words!", she kept whining.
"My dad made me go out with my cousins. I don't see the point, we all hate one another anyway!" Helen shook her head.
"Well, I was testing my webcam", Rachel answered last.
"The whole day?", Michelle asked weirdly.
"Yeah, kind of"
Helen smiled at her
"Hmmm, talking to whom?"
"You know, my friends from home... and Ross"
Helen loved seeing just how Rachel blushed whenever she simply pronounced his name.
"Ah, now I get it", Helen mocked.
"So, are you guys really still together?" Michelle asked.
"That's a hard question. I mean... we still talk everyday, we don't see other people. We uh, act like we're together so, hm, I'm thinking yes"
"How is he? Aw, that's so romantic", Michelle commented, little bit of jealousy mixed with the happiness she felt for her friend.
"To you, even a bug is romantic, Michelle" Gwen took her time to say it between her moments of deep silence.
"Hey!"
"Well, maybe if it's a cute pink one...!" Helen reasoned.
Rachel laughed and Michelle turned to her, waiting for a reply.
"He's good" Rachel shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what else to say.
"That's what you always say" Michelle complained.
"Well, what else do you want me to say?"
"I don't know...! Is he romantic?"
"Oh my God!" Helen cried out.
Michelle hit her and Rachel laughed harder.
"Yeah, he is, I guess..."
"Aw! Has he ever said he loved you?"
Rachel smiled.
"Yeah... we always do"
"Awww!!"
Helen hugged her legs, shooting them a funny look.
"Have you slept together?" Gwen looked up and asked.
Helen and Michelle looked at each other and the short silence that followed seemed to last forever. Rachel well knew that boys were not a topic very well discussed around those girls. Michelle and Helen both had always been raised around girls only and sex had never been a topic discussed by them. Somehow Rachel could tell. And she didn't know how to approach the matter, it all happened so quickly. She thought of the things the girls could possibly come to think of her when they knew it, considering things were so much different from their perspective.
"Yes" Rachel softly replied.
Michelle raised her eyebrows, Gwen nodded and Helen looked at her shoelaces.
"Wow, I didn't know that. Well, tell us, how was it??" Michelle asked.
Rachel smiled.
"You're curious today, you know that?"
"If she doesn't, I do" Helen barged in, looking up.
Rachel chuckled.
"It's... great. Ross is a very special guy"
"Awwww, that's so sweet!!"
"I'm outta here!" Helen joked, getting up. Michelle laughed and pulled her down.
"Sit down!!"
Rachel joined the laughter, glad to notice her piece of information aparently didn't affect anything. Then she looked at Gwen and saw she looked distant once again.
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Gwen colapsed onto her bed, frustrated with the world, with herself, with just about everything. PMS, maybe, who knows? Still, she didn't know what to do. She felt this strong feeling inside herself and never knew exacty what it meant. Slowly, a single tear formed in her eyes and slowly rolled down her cheek. Before it could fall off her chin, she brushed it away with the back of her fingers.
As more of them followed, she gave up on preventing them from coming.
She took off the tough exterior mask and allowed herself to freely cry. But as much as she did it, she still felt as she could never catch up with all the tears she'd held back before. There was so much she'd left behind, she'd decided to ignore. But it'd been too long and ignoring the fact didn't ease the pain.
Rachel, she should talk to Rachel. If there was anyone in their tight little group that could listen to Gwen, it would be her. Maybe she'd understand, say things that would help. Maybe it was normal. And then maybe, just maybe, she'd stop feeling like such a freak...!
Michelle let her fingers lightly linger on the piano. It was a sad song. One she always played when she was down. She felt so lonely...
Being the romantic little girl she was, she couldn't help but always feel jealous when she heard nice stories about her friends and their guys. She'd never had one to tell. Only child, reverend's daughter, looked like she was 11 years old... fat! And it's not like she had an older brother like Gwen to introduce her his friends to. Or even like Helen, who had an older sister who knew everybody in town.
Sometimes she felt like everyone had an interesting life, like everyone was doing something while she just watched. Even though she was merely sixteen, she terribly feared the future because she believed nothing would ever happened to her. She envisioned herself old, in a rocking chair, knitting sweaters for her hundred cats.
While everyone had interesting personal things to say, all she could talk about was t.v.. And she turned to novels, songs and movies for the romance she had never had. "What a sad little life I have" she thought. "Who'd want a pathetic little girl like me? But Rachel? No, she's got her man. She's pretty, she's cool, she's interesting. I'm just Michelle, the silly baby of the group." With each thought, she convinced herself more and more that she was destined to be alone.
But it would pass. It always did. She had these moments when she thought she'd never find anyone, then she'd sink back into her fantasy world. One where her prince charming would come around and sweep her off her feet. He'd make her see that daydreaming is worth it and that good things happen to those who are patient and have a good heart, like hers. And that thought kept her warm. It helped her getting over the small things.
Meanwhile, Helen sat in front of her computer screen, her MSN open as she chatted with Rachel.
Rachel (homesick) says:
"smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault" lol!
Helen - "...too cool to care" says:
you sure had some weird friends back home!
She minimized the screen when an "you've got mail" sign came up on the left botton corner of her screen. She clicked on it.
Helen,
Hey bitch, how are you? haha! Things have been pretty cool in the land down under! Australian guys are hotttt!! How are Michelle and Gwenny? Man, I miss them! And you too, hm, kinda! j/k! Well, sorry it's been a while since I've last e-mailed you, but things have been... busy, if you know what I mean (insert devilish/horny laugh). Yup, his name's Heath Ledger! Haha, I wish! Kidding, it's Rauph, although he prefers when I refer to him as "sex toy" (quite honestly, so do I!). haha, am I too slutty? Same old, same old..! Send news, I really miss you guys! Love,
Sarah.
Helen closed the window, not bothering to reply her right away. She saw Rachel's minimised window blinking and sighed. "Great, just fucking great...! Now everybody's getting laid but me!" Having it rubbed to her face twice a day was just what she needed. She tried not to give a damn, but...
It seemed like she was growing up, but it didn't really feel like it. Girls younger than her had better social lives, had had way more boyfriends than her. She had nothing now. Not even a dream, a fantasy, like Michelle. So much for thinking of herself as a cool independent person...!
Rachel minimised Helen and maximised Ross.
Ross - geology rocks! says:
OK, but before I go, I got a surprise for you
Rachel (homesick) says:
goodie! :D what is it?
Ross - geology rocks! says:
I'll call you tomorrow and let you know
Rachel (homesick) says:
you will not! tell me now
Ross - geology rocks! says:
later :P
Rachel (homesick) says:
Geller, dont you dare!
Ross - geology rocks! says:
hahaha, this is fun
Rachel (homesick) says:
Ross Geller!
Ross - geology rocks! says:
ok, ok... I'll call you now. stand by the phone, ok?
Rachel (homesick) says:
I will, cya
Ross - geology rocks! says:
Cya
Ross - geology rocks! says:
love you
Rachel (homesick) says:
love you too :)
Rachel minimized the window with a smile on her face and approached her phone. Within second, it rang.
"Hey, sexy"
"Geez, how did you know it was me?"
"Getting old, Ross, getting old..."
He laughed.
"Sorry"
"Anyway, tell me, what's the big news??"
"Are you sitting?"
"Should I?"
"I don't know, it's just that people say that and-"
"Cut to your point, Ross"
"Right" he chuckled. "Well... You know how we both got a two week break coming up?"
"Yeah..."
"How would you feel about taking me sight seeing for a while?"
She smiled a huge smile and squealed in delight.
"I'd feel wonderful...! You really coming?"
"Just bought my tickets"
"Oh wow... this is so great..."
"I know!"
"Thank you..." were the most honest words she could think of.
Ross just chuckled on the other side. Rachel knew why, it was so endearing. Her saying 'thank you' for such thing seemed a bit controversial for him. He considered himself as the one receiving the bigger present.
"Wow, spring break... that's only like a week away" she commented.
"Yeah"
"Why didn't you tell me before??"
"I wanted to surprise you! But then again I knew I wouldn't stand the urge of telling you...! Besides, my parents just agreed to this, so..."
"Wow... Well... I'm glad you told me. This way I can hide my secret boyfriend from you!"
He chuckled.
"Funny"
"Aren't I?"
A soft silence followed.
"I miss you" he said. She smiled weakly, wishing she could be looking at him
"I miss you too..." her voice was barely audible.
Neither of them could stand another minute apart. The were teenagers, they had hormones driving them crazy, it was only normal. They missed each other's lips, each other's bodies or even just their sight, one that a picture couldn't replace. A simple hand to hold, a reasurring look, a natural voice, unlike the robotic one over the phone.
But they were closer now. They would spend two whole weeks together and it was going to be heaven. That thought kept them going, looking foward to time to rush past and then stand still.
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I'm expecting reviews to see how you react to this... :) Oh, something else I forgot to say... I've never been to England. And I'm not great writing expressions, they always come out rather american! I'm truly basing this city Rachel's living in Christchurch (NZ), where I lived for a few months. People say it's the most british city in the world outside England, so!
The quote in the beginning is from "Venus", by the Feelers (man, love that song!). For the record, I'm almost sure they're from New Zealand. Hm, I miss it there sometimes...!