Behind blue eyes
Kara/Lee
Kara's POV. A tag to "4x02 Six of One", there are plenty of spoiler in this one, so consider yourself warned. Also, lots of mush. And also, I haven't seen anything past that episode, so don't go spoiling me!
This is my first Battlestar Galactica fic, so feedback would be very appreciated.
One more thing: this has not been beta'd, I'll make a repost when it has.
Death, revenge, murder, redemption, salvation.
Salvation, redemption, murder, revenge, death.
None of it makes sense any more. Redemption, our very salvation, I can taste it, feel it. It's in every breath I take, in every beat of my heart, yet that which was once so clear, so real, is now faded, almost a memory lost forever in time.
It hurts. It's unlike any pain I have ever felt in my whole life, and pain I am familiar with. Pain has been what my life has always been about. My pain. The pain I give to others. The pain the Cylons have caused, and the vengeance we want for it. But revenge will only lead to death. Can't they see that they're killing me? Killing us? Why won't they trust me?
Is this what madness feels like?
No, I'm not mad!
It's slipping again. Soon I won't know the way any more. I won't know and we'll be lost forever… I'm tired of crying. Starbuck doesn't cry, she kicks ass. It feels like crying is all I've done since I came back. Well, crying and screaming. I'm tired of that too. They still won't listen. Why won't they listen?
Why won't they trust me?
My thoughts are interrupted as I have a visitor. Lee. I smile. I want to ask if he has taken down my picture yet? Why no one took it down before… I didn't go first Lee, I'm still here.
He tells me he is part of the Quorum of Twelve now, thanks to Tom Zarek. I smile again. Lee makes a joke about it. We don't really laugh, just smile. He's different than before. Somehow that is clear to me in this moment. I don't know what it is, but something has changed.
He says he's never been able to say no to anything, and I feel bitter. Nothing but me I answer.
"Especially you."
There was something flickering behind his eyes then. I can't say what but there is something there behind that incredible sea of blue. When he tells me that he understands about destiny, it hits me: he is beginning to see his own path clearly. He doesn't know it yet, but I'm certain about it. Lee Adama is on his way to find his place in the universe.
I smile. "So say we all." You will find your place my friend.
"So say we all." He echoes. There is only one thing left for me to do now. I get up from where I have been sitting for Gods know how long, and reach out my hand to him.
"Good luck on your journey, Lee Adama," He takes it and shakes it gently.
"You too Kara Thrace." My smile dies away. This is the end of Apollo and Starbuck. "All right." he says, I wonder if he can feel what I am feeling? After everything, this is where we end? He lets go of my hand and starts walking away.
No.
I feel as a part of me is dieing, like we are making another jump and yet I know we aren't. Something inside me is telling me no, that something worse is happening.
No, not time yet.
"Lee" His name falls from my lips without conscious thought. No. He stops, but doesn't turn around. Doesn't come back to me. Something is breaking inside me. I'm going to die right here, right this moment. Salvation will be lost. Not yet. Something whispers within me. Time.
He turns around and then we are kissing passionately, and suddenly everything makes sense again. Everything clicks into place. I feel completely engulfed by Lee, by his touch on my skin, his taste, the way he smells. I feel like I'm falling and flying at the same time. I feel safe and loved and suddenly my whole life seems so empty up until this moment. As if I have been asleep until now.
We pull each other closer and I feel like crying again. But this time tears of joy. I can almost feel the tears on my cheeks before I realize that it's rain. It's raining. I don't need to open my eyes to know that I am once again on Earth, yet I know I'm still on the Galactica.
Home.
The whisper inside me is crystal clear. It is my own voice but I know it is not me speaking. I do not question it, I have always believed. This is my destiny. I will lead us home.
Lee breaks our kiss and instead kisses me on my forehead, ten minutes ago I would have kicked his ass for it, for making me feel vulnerable, now I knew he did it because I am precious to him. He then pulls me into a hug and whispers three words that seal my fate:
"I believe you."
And he does, he really does. I don't know how or why, I just know that as long as Lee is by my side it won't matter where we go. As long as he believes in me I can lead us to Earth. As long as he believes me, I can always find my way home.
Kara Thrace has found redemption, salvation. I have found home, the place where I belong. I hear musical laughter ring out inside me. All this time home was hidden right in front of me, behind blue eyes, for all to see.
And because I have finally found it, we will all find home.
The End.
So?? FEEDBACK!! Pretty please?