Kitten Catastrophe

Summary: When a kitten follows Cedric back into the castle after a day Wassailia shopping with his sister, Wormwood immediately plots ways to get rid of it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show…and I also don't own a cat. :D

A/N: Someone made a comment several days ago that they liked the way I portray Wormwood in my stories. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Wormy is one of my favorite characters in the show. I love his sarcasm and his crabby self, and I have so much fun writing for him. 😉 Therefore, I felt it necessary to make sure this awesome raven had a story mostly to himself. Have fun with it!

Note: I'm not getting any notifications from my email that I've even posted a story, and as of yesterday, I don't get any when others review/favorite/follow for whatever reason. Lol. So maybe it's a glitch in my email. BUT if yours is acting the same way (like was down for a good hour for me the other night, so that might have something to do with it), just know that I AM still posting daily at various times (or trying to anyway, if the system will stop being weird). Haha. Hopefully they'll fix that issue soon. :D

*Story*

"Thank you for coming shopping with me, Cedric," Cordelia said happily as she held fast to her brother's left arm while several bags dangled from her left hand. "It's nearly impossible to get Calista anything for Wassailia when she's right near me so often.

"I can understand that," Cedric told her with a slight roll of his eyes. "Shopping for pretty much anyone in the castle is difficult during this time—especially the children." He shrugged. "Which is why I don't really 'shop' anymore. I just…create something, especially for Sofia. In fact, she is pretty much the only one in the family who gets a gift from me, and only because she gives me one and I feel the need to reciprocate."

"That's false, and you know it." She chuckled. "Even if Sofia didn't get you anything, you would likely still try to give her something as a thank you for putting up with you all year long."

He scoffed. "I think 'putting up with' is a bit strong, Cordy. She enjoys my company and admires me for whatever reason." He grinned as she rolled her eyes. "I suppose it's only natural. I am her mentor after all."

"Don't be a braggart, Cedric. It's unbecoming." She glanced down when she heard an unmistakable sound of a purr coming from near her feet. "Oh, what have we here?" She let go of the sorcerer and knelt down, smiling at a small brown kitten that had sat at attention and curled its tail around its body. "Hello, little one." She tickled the kitten's chin, giggling as it meowed happily in response. "Aren't you just adorable? But where did you come from?" She glanced around, realizing there seemed to be no owner.

"Perhaps it's a stray," Cedric suggested with a frown. "Every now and then, I will see a cat on the castle grounds. However, since King Roland is highly allergic, they don't hang around for too long."

"Ah, yes, I remember when we were children and that fluffy white cat jumped down onto his shoulder from one of the trees. He sneezed for probably an hour." She shook her head as she picked up the little kitten and gently scratched its head. "How terrible to be allergic to something so cute."

"I think I'm allergic to your cooing over a cat," Cedric remarked with a sarcastic grin as he walked ahead.

"Say what you will, Cedric, but cats are fantastic creatures. They may not always be as friendly as dogs, but they're fiercely loyal and protective over those they care about." She grinned and tapped the kitten on the nose. "Like Wormwood, I suppose."

The sorcerer hummed in consideration. "I guess you have a point…" He looked back toward her. "However, given how incredibly allergic the king is, I'd say it would be in our best interest to leave the little one here. Surely, it can find its mother."

"I certainly hope so." She cuddled the kitten one more time, making a sound of adoration when it meowed sweetly, before placing the little one onto the grass. "All right, go find your mummy. Best of luck!" She looked back toward Cedric. "I'll see you later, brother. I have some gifts to wrap." She grinned and kissed his cheek, laughing as he made a sound of annoyance and wiped it off. "Oh, don't be like that, Cedric. See you at supper!" With that, she hummed happily as she carried on to her next bit of business.

Cedric rolled his eyes before heading back toward his tower, unaware that he had a little shadow following him.

Wormwood yawned and stretched from his spot on his perch before flying around the workshop a few minutes, trying to get in some form of exercise. When he felt better, he alighted onto his perch again just as the door opened. He grinned at Cedric as he walked inside. "Have fun being dragged to your sister's shopping spree?" he asked teasingly as his master threw him a disgruntled look. "Oh, come, come, Cedric. Don't be like that. After all, you only have one sister, and she enjoys having someone to spend time with."

"Fine," the sorcerer quipped as he shut the door behind him. "Next time, you can go with her."

"Now why should I have to endure your misfortune? I'm a loner raven, like most of my kind, and I enjoy time to myself."

"As do I!"

"Then maybe you should tell that to your apprentice and your niece, who are consistently interrupting 'quiet time' for both of us."

Cedric sighed. "That's different. I actually don't mind Sofia and Calista. I like spending time with them, and they're not pushy like Cordelia can be. Granted, she's better than she used to be, but still…"

"Ha! You just like hearing, 'Oh, Mr. Cedric! You're ah-mazing!' Or, 'Yes, Uncle Ceddy! You can do anything!' Pah, girls…"

"Whatever, Wormy. I'm too tired to argue with you now. I'm going to take a nap." He yawned and headed in the direction of his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Wormwood snickered. "Hmm. Cedric: zero. Wormwood: 582." He froze when he heard a distinctive little 'meow' coming from the floor. "What…was…that?" He glanced down from the perch and glared daggers at the little brown kitten that had apparently followed Cedric into his workshop. "How did you get in here?" He swooped down to the floor and tucked his wings behind him as he observed the kitten.

"Mama?"

The bird blanched and sputtered, violently shaking his head. "You are 'meowing' up the wrong tree, kitty cat. I'm not your mother. I'm not even female!"

The kitten grinned. "PAPA!"

Wormwood made a sound between a shriek and a choke as he flew just out of the way of the baby cat trying to pounce on him, his talons clenching to his perch. "No! I'm a raven, you silly kitten! No offspring of Wormwood shall ever be a cat. It's biologically impossible, thankfully, and babies are too much to deal with anyway." He glared at the little kitten, who started whimpering. He sighed. "Oh, come now. Don't cry. Be a tough kitten, like most of your species. What's your name?"

"Marcel," the kitten recited clearly, apparently having been addressed as such before. He frowned curiously. "I think…"

"What do you mean, 'I think?' You don't even know your own name?" He scoffed. "Of course. You even thought I was your mother…" He frowned as Marcel began scratching his perch. "Hey, hey, hey! Paws off, you vicious little hairball. This is high-quality wood fashioned just for us ravens, and I won't have your wicked sense of scratching ruining such a great item."

"I'm sorry…" He lowered his head, tail swishing slowly, before glancing up, green eyes curious. "What's your name?"

"I am the esteemed Wormwood of Enchancia. I'm the bravest raven in the land!"

Marcel tilted his head. "You're a bird."

Wormwood glared at the kitten. "I know that. It doesn't mean I can't be brave. I'm quite brave! I've taken on a weasel, for goodness sake." He nearly shuddered remembering that experience. Never again would he trust that wicked weasel. Not like he fully did in the first place…

"Wow! How cool!" He ran around in a little circle before tumbling over and giggling, little legs tucked under his chin. "I wanna be like you when I grow up!"

The raven blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah! Super tough, cool, and mean!" He attempted to hiss, but he instead hiccupped and blinked before giggling.

Wormwood nodded at each adjective until the last one. "Ugh, I'm not mean… I'm just…serious." He rolled his eyes, considering his master. "One of us has to be." He sighed. "Look, it's getting late, and your real cat parents will be wondering where you are. You don't know who they are or what they look like?"

"I…think they look like me?" He pouted. "My eyes aren't very super strong. I can sometimes see better at night, but in the daytime, they're just…meh."

"Meh, he says…" He sighed dramatically before lowering to the ground. "I suppose it is up to me then, and we shall get you back to your elusive parents."

"Really?" Marcel beamed as he leapt forward and nuzzled the surprised bird. "Oh, thank you, Wormwood!" With that he bounded toward the door.

Wormwood blinked before composing himself and clearing his throat, lifting off the ground and flying toward the door. "Um, certainly." With his expert door-opening finesse, he and the kitten managed to 'escape.'

Once they made it outside, Wormwood lowered to the ground and sat next to Marcel. "Where do you and your family live?"

"Out there," he said, gesturing with his paw across the bridge.

Wormwood huffed. "Of course you do. Let's go." He flew up again, following after the kitten as he ran as quickly as his little paws would carry him. Not soon after, he heard a distinct meow of sorrow from a nearby brush just past the bridge. Curious, he flew down closer and caught sight of a couple: a dark brown cat and a light gray one. "His parents," he murmured to himself before hovering near the kitten. "Take a look over there."

Marcel meowed curiously before gasping as he recognized the undeniable forms of two very familiar cats. "Mama! Papa!"

"Marcel?" the female cat gasped as she hurried over to her son, licking his face as he giggled. "Where have you been, love? We've been worried sick!"

The dark brown male cat glanced toward Wormwood with a hard stare, his body instantly adopting an attack pose. "Who are you?" he demanded.

"No, Papa, don't hurt him! That's Wormwood. He got me home safely." The kitten grinned. "He's the coolest raven ever!"

Wormwood felt a rush of warmth and pride flow through him before shaking it off. He didn't do gushy feelings like Cedric. He was a strong raven, after all. Still…

"Oh." The male cat nodded in gratitude. "Well, thank you. Marcel has a habit of wandering off sometimes, and though we're usually able to keep an eye on him, he gave us the slip this time."

"Well, do be careful," Wormwood suggested. "There are far worse threats out here than I, and I'd hate to see your son get hurt." He nodded in return before smiling toward Marcel. "Pleasure meeting you, little one."

"Bye, Wormwood! Stay cool!" He laughed as the raven took to the sky again.

"Cool," Wormwood repeated as he flew, a smirk on his features. "Hear that, world? I'm cool. I'm Wormwood the Wonderful! …" He looked around, making sure no one heard his external gushing. "…Anyway… Back to reality." Still with a pleased smile on his face, he flew back toward the open window of Cedric's tower and prepared for the evening ahead, whatever that may entail.

The end