Don't Close Your Eyes, a charmed fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed. The song Don't Close Your Eyes is by Keith Whitley.

Don't Close Your Eyes

My wife's heart does not belong to me. We have been married almost a year now. I gave her my heart long before the wedding, but she has yet to give me hers. Years ago, long before we ever met, she gave her heart to another. I guess she forgot to take it back.

I know you loved him
A long time ago
Even now in my arms
You still want him I know
But darling this time
Let your memories die
When you hold me tonight
Don't close your eyes.

His name was Cole Turner. He was a half-demon who turned to the side of good after falling in love with Phoebe Halliwell, my wife. Phoebe, despite being a witch and a sworn enemy to the guy, fell in love with him, too. But, after his demonic side was destroyed, he was possessed by the Source of All Evil and everything went downhill from there. Two vanquishes later and he no longer existed at all. Phoebe forced herself to forget the two-year relationship, and brief marriage, that they'd had. She closed her heart off to the fact they'd ever been involved.

I met her three years later. She'd had several unsuccessful relationships since Cole. She'd put up a barrier around her heart to protect it from ever getting hurt again. I was a Cupid sent by the Elders to help her overcome that. And, I did. Though, a bit too well.

Don't close your eyes
Let it be me
Don't pretend it's him
In some fantasy
Darling just once
Let yesterday go
You'll find more love
Than you've ever known
Just hold me tight
When you love me tonight
And don't close your eyes

I used my magical ring to allow her to see her past relationships- to face the bad and remember the good. She saw him, again. I heard the yearning in her voice as she said that yes, she had loved him, after my questioning upon watching one of their first encounters. I saw the tears in her eyes when she watched his death for the first time. I held her as she flinched away from the scene.

But, the shield was gone. She was ready to love again.

Maybe I've been a fool
Holding on all this time
Lyin' here in your arms
Knowing he's in your mind
But I keep hoping some day
That you'll see the light
Let it be me tonight
Don't close your eyes

During our short time together, I'd fallen in love with her. After awhile, she admitted the same.

But I heard her mumble his name in her sleep, just a few short weeks ago. Before, I was convinced of her feelings toward me. Before, we were living a fairy tale, and it was supposed to continue forever. I know I shouldn't use my powers to read into her heart. Yet, I peeked anyway.

It wasn't me I saw. And everything made sense. The way she'd close her eyes when I said I loved her. I thought she'd been savoring my voice, putting the feelings into her memory. She'd really been remembering him saying the same three words.

The way she kept avoiding the topic of kids. She'd had visions, before our meeting, of a small brown-haired girl. She'd determinedly searched for her daughter's father. I assumed she'd want to have that child immediately after our vows. However, she kept putting it off. Because, it wasn't me she'd been searching for.

I'd helped her re-open her heart to love, and she opened it to him.

I wonder if she realizes her feelings. I hope not. I love her more than anything. Before us, I don't know of any Cupids ever finding love for themselves. I couldn't bear it if she was consciously wishing I was him.

I can live knowing her heart ultimately belongs to a dead demon. I know she does love me, too, though not as much. Maybe, someday, she'll be able to let him go for real. To give me her heart fully. Maybe, she'll see just how much I love her.

But, that's not today. She may think she's over him; but I'm a Cupid. I know better. My wife's heart does not belong to me.

Just hold me tight
When you love me tonight
And don't close your eyes

The End