A/N: These e-mails between Sam and Jack were inspired by the SGA episode "Quarantine"

1/19/08

Dear Jack,

Somebody I once knew said "I like women, it's scientists that I have a problem with". Well, I can relate to having a problem with scientists!

By now I'm sure you've skimmed the mission report regarding the lockdown situation we had here at Atlantis yesterday...well, here's what wasn't in my report.

You already know that everyone on Atlantis was trapped in a different area of the city. I was trapped in a transporter chamber with Dr. Zelenka. He had a datapad and I told him we needed to use it to interface with the systems in the transporter and he said it couldn't be done! So, I took his datapad to configure it and he had a picture of a pigeon as his wallpaper. A pigeon!!! He said he raised them back home. So, anyway, I plugged the datapad into the crystals in the transporter and was able to see what was happening to the city and to determine that this was all caused by a storm in the ionosphere not by a McKay screw up.

I wrote a subroutine to by pass all the protocols so that we could use the datapad like a mini computer and attempt to unlock the city. Well, Zelenka got impatient, tried to re-route power by rearranging the crystals and managed to nearly get himself electrocuted and fried the datapad at the same time! I told him not to touch the crystals but he acted like he was all flustered about something and completely ignored what I said.

At this point we are now sitting on the floor of the transporter, there's no ventilation, it's hotter than Netu, and Zalenka is feeling very bad because he fried the datapad. So to make light of the situation I joked that it would be nice if we had one of his homing pigeons and he says "oh, they're not for eating."

I said no, we could tie a little note on them and send them off, and he says "There's no windows in here." Back to the original statement: I now agree with that unnamed person who said "It's scientists that I have a problem with!"

Well, as you know, everything turned out all right, I just don't ever want to get stuck someplace with Zelenka again!

I'm looking forward to seeing you soon!

Love, Sam

Reply to sender:

Sam, what were you wearing when you and Zelenka were stuck in the transporter?

Reply to sender:

Well, it was hot in there so I took off my jacket and I was wearing a v-neck black t-shirt. Why?

Reply to sender:

Sam, I've seen you in that black v-neck t-shirt and Zelenka was flustered and distracted because of you!

Reply to sender:

What?!

Reply to sender:

Samantha! You are very hot and sexy in that shirt! Any man who is breathing would notice that!

Reply to sender:

Oh, great.

Reply to sender:

Bring that shirt with you when you come home next time. Oh, that's an order, Colonel!

Reply to sender:

Yes, sir!