query // a fullmetal alchemist one-shot
for the lovely rikku-crowley ♥
A/N: Rikku-Crowley and I go way back, and she wrote me a wonderful fic called Explicit Betrayal. It's in my favorites, so check it out if you have the time! The very last conversation between the Elric brothers in this fic is based on an actual conversation I had…sadly.
Warnings: Roy/Ed, naïve Al, general awkwardness.
Alphonse Elric was always slightly confused about things.
For example, why was the sky blue? Why do cats like milk so much? Why are Envy and Roy so infatuated with miniskirts? He knew his older brother held all the answers to these questions—in fact, Ed could probably answer them in flawless, excruciating detail. But Al had reached a point in his life where he decided to not depend on his brother's insight so much. He wanted at least a little independence. It wasn't like he was aiming to become Ed's trust sidekick or something!
But there was one particular question that really stuck with Al. When he tried to go on with his everyday doings, it nagged and nagged. But, again, he was too apprehensive to ever ask, or even bring it up in the slightest. But he just really wanted to look his brother—his hero, really—in the face and scream:
WHAT are those noises you make all about?!!?
It all started when he and Ed decided to permanently reside in Central…well, when Ed decided. He never exactly gave Al a reason for this decision, but he assumed it was because of Central HQ. That was about two months ago.
Anyway, whenever Ed and Al sat down for dinner, they were almost always greeted with a knock at the door. Since he wasn't even eating in the first place (or physically capable of eating), Al would answer it. He learnt to not even try to act eager when, yet again, Roy Mustang gave him a warm smile and let himsef in. Al would lead Roy to the table, where he sat and waited for Ed to finish up. And then Al would take the dirty dishes to the kitchen and wash up. But when he'd return, the two would be gone, and the bedroom door would be closed. They seemed to be in a heated argument most of the time in there, too!
Al brushed it off usually. They were obviously discussing serious military business. But one day, Alphonse really took it to heart and felt a little offended for being left out. So, he decided to confront them. What was so important that they couldn't talk about him…?! It wasn't like he couldn't do anything to help! But, as always, his skills looked mediocre next to his brother's. It really fed him up sometimes.
He stomped down the hall and gave the door two firm hits.
"Ed! Let me in!"
He listened carefully. A reply finally came a few seconds later through the entry. Al had to lean up against the keyhole to even hear anything.
"Ah…!"
"Oh!" Al beamed. "I KNEW you guys were in there! What're you chatting about? News on the Homunculus?"
Al listened harder. He swore he heard the floorboards and the bed creaking.
"Ed…? Are you listening?"
"Ah! Y-yes…!"
"Hm," Al sighed. "That's a relief! So, can I come in?" He took the doorknob and slowly turned it. It locked in place. "Why isn't it opening…?"
"Colo—I mean, ROY! Slow..d-down…That hurts—!!"
Al listened even closer. Needless to say, he soon heard Roy finally speak. His voice was airy and rushed, like he didn't want anyone outside the room to hear. Wow, Al thought, this must be an important conversation!
"We've done this a million times. Why should it—" a short pause, and a single rock of the bed frame against the wall "—HURT?!" Roy panted.
"Ahhh! God DAMMIT…!"
Alphonse blinked. Who knew those two bantering among themselves could be so…intense.
"Well, Brother," he finally said. "I'll just wait for you in the kitchen. You seem to be preoccupied."
"I-I-I'm…coming…!"
"Okay!" Al beamed. "I'll see you in a sec!"
So Al waited peacefully in the living room. Edward and Roy emerged from the room some fifty minutes later. Their clothes stuck to their skin and they looked questionably sweatier. Roy left without so much as a goodbye, and Ed set himself on the seat across his brother. Al noticed him twitch as his bottom hit the hard surface of the chair.
"So…" Ed began. "What have you been up to?" He picked up the (cold) cup of coffee Al had gotten for him nearly an hour prior. He took a sip.
"I should be asking you the same thing."
Ed nearly choked on his own uvula. He quickly regained his composure. "What're you talking about, A-Al?"
"You know…you DID say you'd meet me out here quite some time ago, and you're just now getting here. I'm just a little…puzzled…"
"…I did?"
"Yeah! I was at our bedroom door and then we talked for a bit and you were making weird sounds and Roy was yelling at you! So I said I'd leave you alone, but THEN you stopped me and said you were coming! And you never DID!"
During every second of Al's little word vomit session, Ed grew notably redder and his jaw length grew longer and longer. He stammered for an explanation, and managed to choke out, "B-b-b-but…! I DID come! Multiple times, actually!"
"Really? Are you sure? I didn't see you come out…"
"UHHHH, I MEAN—!!" He took a deep breath. "Al, I have something to tell you…"
"What is it, Brother?"
Edward hesitated, looking at his younger brother's pure, childish demure. Al was always so lively and full of energy, shunning even the most simple sexual things (it took Ed everything he had not to ask him how he could handle so many masturbation-free years). But he wasn't just going to leave him in the dark…! "Remember when we moved here? And I didn't tell you why?" Al nodded. "It's because…well…RoyandIareinarelationship, okay?" He heaved.
He was silent for a bit, to process everything. "So you and Roy are…?"
"YES."
"And it's been going on for…?"
"YES."
"And, in our room, you two were…?"
"YESYESYESYESYES.YES!" Hearing it all out loud killed Ed a little. "So are you alright with it? Even though I'm nearly half his age and we're guys and he's a complete douche?"
"I…don't see a problem with it. I could never judge you, Ed—as long as you both like each other."
"Yeah, we have a lot in common. We grew up the same way and we have the same morals and beliefs and stuff."
"…So the sex is good?"
"Yeeeeah, it's pretty damn fantastic."
Ed and Al talked for awhile, not even bringing up the whole "incident." While that little question Al had at the beginning of the day had been answered, another one still managed to arise. And, naturally, it was just as annoying and nagging as the previous one.
"Hey, Ed, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Go ahead!
"How would you and Roy…um…'sleeping together' hurt you? Since I overheard quite an amount of that session you had, it sure did sound like you were in pain."
Ed's face turned about three colors. Even though Al now knew of his affair, it was still awkward having a fourteen-year-old boy asking quite disturbing questions. He already split his guts ONCE that night, so why not again? "Well…I guess the only way I can explain it is…uhhhh, men have certain body parts that aren't meant to get…tinkered with. I'll just leave it at that."
"But I STILL don't get it…" Al pondered. "Does one of them like, break?" He made somewhat of a diagram by poking his two forefingers together.
Ed thanked the god he didn't believe in for such a dense brother.
The End.