Ways to Annoy the Twilight Characters
Edward:
Tell him Bella went to the loony bin.
Tell him they guard said loony bin with werewolves.
Dye all of his left socks lime green.
Dye all of his right socks pastel orange.
Ask him if he's hooked up with the 'blonde' yet. (a.k.a. Rosalie)
Explain in detail how you have.
Tell Jessica that Edward broke up with Bella for her.
Put him on Jeopardy.
If he refuses to go on Jeopardy, put him on the Biggest Loser.
Cry if he still refuses.
Ask him if he thinks Taylor Lautner is hot.
Ask him is he thinks Kristen Stewart if hot.
Tell him that Bella is now a lesbian and broke up with him for Kristen Stewart.
Carlisle:
Put his family on Family Feud against the Blacks'.
Ask him for a piggy-back ride.
Sniff him repeatedly.
Tell him that he smells good.
Tell him his wife was depressed and tried to commit suicide.
Ask him if it was their love life.
Suggest Viagra.
Make House jokes
Alice:
Tell her that ninja warrior werewolves took over the mall.
Tell Jacob to dye everything she owns orange, except one pair of undies.
Tell her you put her on the worst dressed list.
Tell everyone she thinks she is a vampire.
Plan to take over the mall.
Replace her closet with a hippies.
Put a bunch of weed in her room and call the cops.
Dye her hair gray.
Call her an old granny.
Tell Jasper that she wants to borrow his granny panties.
Jasper:
Have Emmet send xxxfeelings to him.
Change your emotions every 30 seconds.
Lock him in a room full of pregnant women.
Get as close to him as possible and yell 'PAPERCUT!' every 5 minutes.
Tell him Jacob loves him/ imprinted on him.
Every 3 minutes ask him if he's gay.
Ask him what it's like to married to a girl (Alice) and be gay.
Tell him Elmo says hi.
Dress Emmett up as Elmo and make him get all touchy feely.
Give him granny panties with 'Jazzy Pants' monogrammed on to them.
Give Bella a condom with a note attached to it "From jasper' See you later!"