Only God knows why – Kid Rock
Shawn/Rebecca
Shawn stood watching her back retreat in the long line. He could almost see her board the plane she was that near to departing.
His throat contracted, maybe he'd been watching far too many chick flicks in the last couple of days but he had to tell her before she took her seat.
He bounded up the escalator, futilely tried to outrun its mechanical step.
"Rebecca!"
She turned at his frantic cry; saw the look of urgency in his sapphire eyes.
"Shawn?" she questioned.
He tried his best to push his way through the throng but to no avail, he watched as she faltered near the top of the escalator.
There was nothing for it he'd have to shout it in a crowded airport.
"I hope it's ok but I think I love you!"
Silence thundered in his ears, the people seemed to move in slow motion.
Suddenly she was in his arms and life resumed playback,
" I thought it was just me" she whispered.
Another part of me – Michael Jackson
The Kliq
Shawn threw a paper dart at the wall, grinned flippantly as Kid giggled encouraging his childish antics.
"Stop it or Vince is gonna skin you alive" muttered Kev
"He's the one who's late" retorted Shawn
"Yeah he said be here for 9am" supplied Scott
"Yeah so here we are at 11:30 and no Vinny Mac" said Shawn mockingly
He smirked slightly as the door burst open and a dishevelled and irate Vince McMahon stood in the doorway.
"Alright which one?"
" Which one what?" enquired Hunter
" Which one of you threw spitballs at Dean Douglas and then balanced the paint can over Chris Candino's door?"
" Why Vin Man would we do such a thing?!" asked Shawn feigning indignance.
When you're gone – Hanson
Shawn/Rebecca
Rebecca sat thumbing through her bible, the words offering no solace. She knew absence made the heart grow fonder, could vouch for the truth of the statement in a second.
That didn't lessen the blow of missing her husband every time he went away on the road.
She sighed softly and wondered for the millionth time what he was doing, the show hadn't started yet so he was probably eating some processed junk food before heading off to the gym with Hunter.
He rationalised and justified his eating habits with the thought that he could eat it and then burn it off in the gym.
She resumed her gaze to the book before her, thought of Shawn doing the same thing and felt her heartache lessen slightly.
She hoped he missed her as much as she missed him.
Amazing Grace (My chains are gone)- Chris Tomlin
Shawn in church
Shawn sat listening to the velvet tones soar above and around him. The choir stood off centre, a mass of singing bodies upon the altar.
The words touched a chord within him, the lyrics made his heart beat a little faster with every poignant syllable.
He could feel his worries lessen; his fears that the Lord would abandon him at any given second vanished as the song continued.
He no longer felt as if they were going to cast him from the House of worship for being a fraud, the old Shawn was long gone, he could sense the change in his soul, could feel the light upon his sun kissed body.
A wide grin creased his features.
His wife leaned across their sleeping baby.
"What are you smiling about honey?"
"My Lord, my saviour has ransomed me" quoted Shawn breathlessly the smile never wavering.
I want you back - The Jackson 5
Shawn/Sunny Shawn/Rebecca
Sunny sat silently watching the Texan play with his young son, observed as the seven year old raced wildly around the backstage area.
" Hi Shawn" she said softly
Shawn glanced up swiftly
" Oh hey" he said nochantly
" You look good"
" You don't look so bad yourself" joked Shawn as he grabbed his small son, " Tag!"
" No fair!" pouted Cameron
" Shawn? Cam?"
Sunny turned to see the beautiful brunette come from the locker room area.
She watched wistfully as Shawn greeted his wife Rebecca with a lingering kiss.
Sunny wished she'd taken the chance when she'd had it.
U can't touch this - MC Hammer
Shawn and fans
Shawn grinned as his music hit, felt the beat pound and shiver up his spine. He shook and shimmied his hips to the beat invited the young fan into the ring and laughed as she danced around him.
He grabbed her by the hands, pulled her into a warm embrace before kissing her soft cheek.
Shawn smiled at her delighted face, felt his cockiness crumble for once into the warm-heartedness of doing a good thing for someone other than himself or his best friends.
With a final hug he sent her back to her seat, leapt over the top rope to finish his post match celebration.
He continued to the back hi-fiving as he went.
As soon as he entered the locker room the cockiness flared in the trepadition of the jeering he felt sure would come.
" Follow that!" he spat.
Bad to the bone - George Thorogood
" No!"
It was a growl of displeasure that greeted Shawn as he stepped through the curtain. A flash of a smirk directed at Hunter at the sight of Vince's contorted features. A hue of pulsating anger flushed his cheeks.
" Why do you always have to cross the line? Every damn time, how many times do you have to be told-"
"Easy there Vin Man it wasn't that bad" Shawn snickered, interrupting the chastisement mid-flow.
" YOU TOOK OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!" roared Vince
" Girls liked it" shrugged Shawn,
" Probably some of the guys too" ribbed Hunter
" Well I am very sexy" Shawn concurred, " Don't feel bad that you want to get into my pants Helmsley, you wouldn't be the first"
" Oh shut up"
" You're getting fined. Both of you, $10,000" glared Vince
" I didn't do anything!" protested Hunter.
" You encouraged him." Vince informed him
" He doesn't need encouragement!" yelled Hunter as Vince walked away
" Sure I do, I can't be that bad all by myself" grinned Shawn.
State of shock – The Jacksons
Chris nudged Lance who was sat beside him trying to enjoy the diet coke he'd ordered.
" How hot is she?"
Lance cast his gaze over the long legged brunette his tag team partner was so obviously lusting for.
" She's ok"
" She's ok? What's wrong with you? Look at her!" Chris cried indignantly as he turned Lance's face forcing him to stare at her, " She's beautiful."
" She's a stripper Christopher"
" She's paying her way through college" laughed Chris, " Doesn't matter what her occupation is she's still smoking"
" And let me guess you'll add to her college fund if she goes home with you?"
" Why Lance I'm insulted!"
Lance rolled his eyes, ignoring Chris' feigned displeasure. He gave him an hour tops before he mustered up the courage to go get the girl's number.
" We wouldn't go home, we have to be on the Red Eye back to Canada tomorrow."
" You and the stripper chick?"
" No! Me and you"
" Go get your one night of fun then" muttered Lance.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Greenday
Shawn walked down the corridor, eyes seeking the floor. False sense of bravado had crumbled and fallen back in the hotel when Hunter and Joanie had sought him in his room, when they'd caught him crying into his pillow.
He'd told them to go ahead without him when he'd awoken late for their 2pm start. Now here he was on his own traipsing through the long hallway of hatred.
Did the rest of the roster think he couldn't see their sly glances of despise?
He may have been cold but he wasn't heartless. And he sure as hell wasn't blind to their bitterness.
It wasn't his fault Bret wouldn't job.
That was Mr Canada and his sense of screwed up pride.
Shawn thought he had an ego, but Bret Hart had a Canadian God complex.
He startled as the spit landed inches from his feet. Too busy focusing on the floor he never noticed the blur of anomosity take aim.
With watery eyes he ducked for cover in Vince's office.
My Time – Triple H's theme
Hunter watched was the Red Eye ascended to the sky, a billow of dust blazing the sky behind it. If he squinted hard enough he could pretend he could pinpoint Shawn sitting on one of the window seats, face glum, eyes vacant as a result of the somas he'd downed as he flew from Boston back to Texas.
In the pit of his stomach he felt a well of sadness at his friend's demise and departure. In his heart of hearts he felt relief that he no longer had to physically drag him from appointment to appointment making sure he actually kept promises and went to work.
With a sad smile he glanced at the sky, free of Shawn to relish in his time to shine.
The Boys are back
Hunter startled as Shawn jumped on him excitedly, arms around his throat.
" Choking here Shawnie" he warned, a splutter catching in his throat.
" Sorry" laughed Shawn releasing him, " Just how great is this?"
Hunter smiled, it was refreshing to see Shawn so happy. He remembered the last time the clique had been together under the employment of Vince McMahon and how awful it had been with Shawn's temperment.
A changed man made for changed circumstances.
Shawn had found God and the clique could find a sliver of peace.
He watched Shawn exchange hyper greetings with Kevin, Scott and Kid.
Turned as the clash warranted his attention, saw Maven covered in paint from the upturned bucket.
Maybe this clique wasn't as different as it could have been.
One – Mary J Blige & U2
Shawn knelt at the altar, a sense of queasiness passing through him. He didn't know what to do.
He kept waiting for the lightening bolt to crack the sky and strike him dead for daring to let his corrupt and evil skin touch such hallowed ground.
No lightening bolt had splintered him yet.
Gnawing at his lip he gazed up at the cross hanging before him, in the alcove of the church.
It didn't feel right.
None of this felt right.
He'd been a Catholic all his life. Not a good one but a Catholic nonetheless.
He didn't feel like they wanted to give him salvation.
More that they wanted to make him endure Hell for his sins on Earth before he was cast there in the afterlife for crimes he had committed against the human race.
He'd been to confession and the Priest had sent him here. Gave him the rosary and told him to pray.
He wanted to change for the love of Rebecca but this wasn't right.
Savior – Skillet
Shawn glanced up at the ceiling, the white plaster made his eyes ache. He didn't care. He wasn't going to move.
Kevin's words kept circling his mind.
" You can't keep doing this stuff man."
He glanced over at the blisters of pills still lying on the bedside cabinet.
What the hell did Kevin know? He wasn't the one who lived with this pain. He wasn't the one who had to give up the one thing he was good at for the sake of a broken back.
He wasn't the one who Hunter hated.
He scrabbled for the pills, wrenched two from the packet and swallowed them whole. He welcomed the high. Let them drown the hurt, he longed for numbness.
He lay entwined in the sheets, lightheaded and free not noticing Rebecca in the shadows.
With a soft sigh she turned from their bedroom, knew he'd be alright in bed. He couldn't hurt himself there.
She went into the closet, fell to her knees and prayed.
A beg for compassion, a plea for direction.
Her husband would be saved.
Her Savior wouldn't have it any other way.
Faith made her sure.
Forever – Papa Roach
Hunter sat staring into the blazing fire, the raging flames illuminating his face in the otherwise blackened room.
He was a bastard.
Nothing more than a common cheat.
He had to remind himself that it was he who had torn their love to shreds, not Joanie.
She hadn't sought Sean until he'd sought Steph.
He kicked out in frustration, the cold echo of glass resounding as he made contact with the whiskey bottle.
He didn't have the guts to open it.
He'd seen the effects alcohol had on Scott and Shawn. He wasn't about to follow in their footsteps.
He'd rather wallow in his own self pity.
Let the tears come.
Let The Game die. Let Paul Levesque break through just once.
He loved Joanie.
He loved Steph more.
Damn it why was everything screwed up.
He'd always love Joanie, she was beautiful, funny, but Steph was Steph.
Steph was now his.
Forever.
Love is here and now you're gone – Michael Jackson
Shawn glowered at the couple over his drink, ignored Hunter's reassuring hand.
" What does he have that I don't?"
Hunter stared, not willing to share his observations. Personally he thought Chris treat Sunny well.
Then again he'd seen how infatuated Shawn had been.
" I mean I have money, I'm sure as hell better looking-"
" I know"
" Why would she choose him?"
A forlorn whimper.
" Come on let's get out of here"
" Let me take my drink" begged Shawn.
Hunter sighed.
"Ok"
" I loved her Hunt" Shawn whispered brokenly, " And she left"
" I know" soothed Hunter, hugging him.
I hear a symphony – The Jackson 5
Shawn sat watching Cameron attempt to destroy the legion of army men he'd buckled and bought under the threat of a three year old's tantrum.
It amused him greatly to see Cameron wipe out an entire platoon with his tiny bunched up fist. He didn't even attempt to wage war and squawked in protest if Shawn even made a move towards him.
Rebecca cuddled up closer to him on the sofa and he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
" I love you"
He said it often, it was the only way to convey the depth of emotion he felt for her.
The woman who loved him when he deserved it.
The woman who provided him with a reason for living.
He had to tell her.
She had to know.
" I love you too" She replied, " Now stop your son from eating the Colonel".