Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Episode: Unknown

By: MTrek

Little spoofy I felt like doing. ;D Hope y'all get a kick out of it!

Weyoun 9 shifted uncomfortably in his chair, leaning back and trying to find something to take his attention elsewhere. He might as well have been in hell than there. The main torture was noise. It was always noise. Be it the scraping of drinks across tables or the yells of drunkards and Dabo players. He loved the game, but not when others were playing it. Their giddy exclamations sounded like a shout right in his ear.

The second torture was the smell of the place. Not many knew it, but Vorta had unparalleled senses of smell; they even far surpassed Ferengi in that respect. At the moment, Weyoun wished he never had it incorporated into his genetic structure. The bar area was rancid with stenches from sweaty Nausicans to the acidic dozens of intoxicated exhales that were saturating the establishment. He hated the place more than any building he'd ever been in.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so horrid if he wasn't forced to sit on the upper balcony, where the accumulation of smells and noises waifed up the most. But it was the third torture that kept him there. Her.

He stayed his gaze from wandering toward her again, although he full knew she was still staring at him. Across the table, the only current Cardassian in Starfleet had her gaze lazily, if not unwaveringly, trained on him. Slouched and apparently unconcerned with anything, Fyi Jeluik remained unmoving in her blue science uniform. Earlier, Weyoun thought it looked uncomfortable to Cardassian necks, but after sitting there for such a time, he didn't care and hoped it was suffocating her. He fantasized about her falling over from oxygen deprivation by some miracle; that way he would've been free, even if it was just for five minutes. She had been guarding him for a couple of weeks now and he felt like jumping out an airlock if it meant getting away from her.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. Glancing as menacingly as he could at her, Weyoun spoke up. "Must you do that?"

Still looking directly at him, the commander seemed to come out of a reverie and focused her eyes. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Weyoun's stomach felt as if it dropped to the deck-plates. She hadn't even been trying to stare, just making it appear as if she were. He had been worrying over nothing. How deviously torturous waste of time! "You have been staring at me for the past hour and a half. Do you have nothing better to do than to bore into me with your gaze?"

Fyi smiled, amused at his squirmy attitude. Stretching out, she crossed her ankles below the table and interlaced fingers behind her head. "I would if you weren't so pleasant to stare at."

Weyoun had reached the end of his charm, patience, and leniency. She was infuriating!!

Glaring as nastily as he could, he scowled at the Cardassian woman. "You really must be a worthless astronomer if your commanding officer assigned you to guard duty of a defenseless Vorta such as myself. Why you would even need to guard me is completely beyond comprehension and unnecessary. What could I do? I cannot contact the Dominion -- no being would answer me there -- and I can't even eliminate myself, no matter how much I wish I could. I am no threat to any of you."

"You're just a shadow of the old Dominion spirit. Obsolete..."

Fyi looked genuinely compassionate, which made the Vorta uncomfortable. He didn't trust sudden changes in tactics. It was probably just another way to toy with his self-security. He was rather pitiful when one's thought about it though; they'd taken everything away from him. His ability to terminate his existence, the respect he had with the Dominion. He wished there was at least someone who knew how he felt, but he was alone. This crafty officer couldn't even come close to knowing what it was like to be so far from home, forbidden to speak with friends. Yet even so, he held onto the hope that he could talk his way into more comfortable settings. "Exactly."

She pursed her lips, taking her arms down and leaning on her elbows. Inhaling, she seemed to consider his point.

"So... you see my standing?"

"Yes..."

A small smile made it onto his smooth visage. "I'm glad you understand. Perhaps... could you ask for lighter security on my behalf? Maybe room of my own?"

"No," she answered with an equally sweet smile.

Weyoun stared at her for a couple of seconds, his feeble hope dashed. Then she had the audacity to begin laughing in his face, which really aggravated him. "Do you find a twisted sense of pleasure in my misery here?"

"She likes to see how the mighty have fallen," answered a smooth voice from behind Weyoun. He looked at the source and grimaced immediately.

Garak walked over to his fiancée and put a hand on her shoulder. She smiled fondly up at him.

Trying to get off subject, Weyoun put his smugness back on. "Well, if it isn't the dynamic duo. The ambassador and the commander. Tell me, Garak, does she destroy your self-worth like she tortures her victims? Does she make your every waking moment a living hell when you're trying to have some free time from the pressures of the galaxy?"

Garak laughed shortly and ignored the man for the moment. "Enjoying yourself, my dear?"

"Oh, you have no idea," she replied. "And you were right. It worked like a charm."

"Ahh, I'm glad it did. Not many can pull it off to where it becomes an efficient weapon."

Smiling sultrily, Fyi rested her head on a propped up hand. "I had a good instructor."

The Vorta was highly irate now. If there was one thing he hated more than being there as piece of rubbish it was being ignored. "Oh how touching. If I possessed a human stomach, I would be emptying its contents at this very moment."

"Really, Weyoun, there is no need to get snippy," said Fyi with a superior air.

"Well, it isn't as if he could do anything. He's been excommunicated from the Dominion. He has no power," commented Garak.

"You Cardassians are all the same," said Weyoun with a dismayed inflection. "You aren't happy unless you are torturing or interrogating a defenseless subject."

Fyi pretended to be struck, clutching the upper part of her uniform with a gasp. "Oh! That truly burned; fiery words from a fallen dictator's lackey. I'm going to have to get to sickbay and have Julian operate on me."

Garak chuckled at her antics. She may have been only four years younger than him, but she could always add a levity to things. "Don't be too hard on him, my dear. I know it may be inexhaustibly enjoyable, but after all, we were both in a similar position to him not that long ago."

"Mmm, I suppose you're right," Fyi said dropping the faux pain and grinning at the Vorta.

Weyoun could barely tolerate this. "If I were still in the Dominion, you wouldn't be so confident."

"Would we?" said Fyi, her grin growing wider. But then her veneer changed again. She stopped teasing and stood from her chair. "You need to come back to reality, Weyoun. You are here on the Federation's flamboyant good graces. If they weren't so kind, you'd be on a penal asteroid right now."

"They wouldn't dare..." replied the Vorta uncertainly.

"There isn't much to stop them. Even I think they are being too lenient. So I suggest you stop whining about a position you are never getting back and face it;" Fyi leaned on the table, her scaled face close to his. "this is your new life. Make the best of it."

"How am I supposed to do that with people like you making it worse?" He desperately wished he wasn't such a coward. But his purple eyes shone with worry as her words rang around in his mind.

"You are right about one thing, though," said Garak, taking his fiancées hand and placing it on his arm. "Fyi has much better things to do than hover over you."

"Yes, I agree; this volunteer work may grow old after a while." She tapped her combadge. "Lieutenant Kitz, could you come down to Quark's? I believe your break is up now."

"Right away, sir," answered the security chief with a laugh.

To Weyoun's shock, both Cardassians began walking away. "Are you sure you should be doing this?"

Fyi looked back at him before they descended the stairs.

"Leaving me here... is not a very wise course of action," he threatened as smoothly as he could muster.

Fyi smirked. "Who said we were leaving you alone?"

Just then, Lieutenant Kitz beamed in next to the Vorta. Fyi and Garak went down to the second level and he watched them walk out. Glancing at the lieutenant, Weyoun realized that his captors still took the threat he held seriously, but not enough to imprison him.

He really was powerless.

And very alone....