The Reconciliation
Summary: It's simply Malfoy has information and Harry wants it. Post-war, Slash, HP/LM, One-shot.
Rating: M
Warning: Slash
Parings: Lucius/Harry
I dare to say, the ministry's ball is the most boring event of the year. I'm not personally sure what I'm doing here. I don't belong between employees of a ministry. I don't have political ambitions. The only reason why I'm here is my name. Of course, Scrimgeour needs to public believe that the "Chosen one "support his government.
I forgot to say that it was Dumbledore, who has dragged me here. I hate it. I feel like an animal in a ZOO. Everyone is staring on my scare. I want to run away from these ritzy people or send them to the hell. Instead of that I'm standing here and smiling on everybody and trying to be polite as possible. What an obedient puppet I become. I need to get out from here.
"What a pleasure to meet you again Mr. Potter. I hope you aren't leaving." The deep arrogant voice stopped me. Damn, I hate the man who thwarts my plan to disappear from this ball. I turned to the man and created the shiniest smile and made a polite respond.
"Of course not ..." I had frozen in the middle of a sentence when I saw who the man was.
"Malfoy!" I gripped my wand. I wanted to punch his arrogant face and cast so much Crucius to make him suffer like Longbottoms, to make him pay for what he did to the Ginny and Sirius. My magic begin go flew around me.
Calm down Harry. You can't let your anger to lead you. Don't let him discredit you. Everybody in hall is watching and waiting on your reaction. Beside you can't kill him now. There are too many witnesses, said sardonic voice in my head. I looked at his face and saw his smirk. He was pleased with my raw reaction. I was glad that I had stopped myself before I said something worse. I held myself and responded politely with clenched teeth.
"Mr. Malfoy, I'm not leaving this lovely ball. I only wanted to catch some fresh air." I said thinking that I would escape his company. He only lifted his eyebrow.
"So there will be no problem, if I accompany you" He said with mocking voice. I knew that I had made a horrible mistake. I could feel as the whole assemble room stared on us and waited for my reaction.
"Sure, if you insist." What I'm playing on. But my mouth continued without a consultation with a brain. "But I don't know, if my company is enough to reach your high standards." Fuck, where Dumbledore is when I need him.
"You are really modest Mr. Potter. I have to assure you that the saviour of wizard world like you can keep up my standards. I hope you don't doubt in my judgement?" He dramatically paused and looked around a room. "Or is there another reason why we shouldn't have a pleasant conversation?" What he is playing on? Of course, he wants to show society that he is on good terms with me. The question is what I have to do?
"You know, I only a half-blooded. I heard that you have a problem with this point." I heard people, who were listening to our conversation, gasp. I tried to keep on my face an innocent expression. I could see his hand clutching around his cane till his knuckles were white. Then he swaps away my words with wave of his hand.
"Gossips and nothing more Mr. Potter." He said with calm amused voice.
"You should know it rather than me or I'm mistaken? You were claim to be a madman by gossips. But you seem to be sensible." The last sentence was said with a sarcastic overtone.
" But you wanted to go on a fresh air. We can continue this conversation outside. Unless you disagree." He grabbed my shoulder and led me out of the room, before I could really respond.
We ended in the garden. I didn't know there was one but maybe it was only an illusion. I wasn't sure. I could hear loud laugh and music from the ball. The garden was lightened by fluorescent pebbles which were placed at the sides of a footpath so we could go through in these late hours.
I was silent I didn't know what to say. I only wanted to get away from this man. He was dangerous and it didn't matter to me if his name is cleared or not. He was man of many faces and he has a lot of connections. For me he was still a Death Eater
"Now you seem to be quite as a mouse Mr. Potter." He said and continued a walk through the garden.
"I have nothing to say to you." I hissed and stopped my walk. I could hear as my hatred showed through my voice and my mask of politeness fell from my face. He turned to me and gave me a devilish smile. I could feel as my body frozen.
"Mr. Potter I was afraid that you have a double." He started to slowly circle round me like a predator. My wand was prepared in my sleeve. I searched in my mind for the spells which I could use on him. But as more as I was thinking about it I was coming to conclusion, that I was no match for him.
"What?" I snapped to reality.
"A temperamental and straight Gryffindor like you acting so shifty is an unbelievable thing. Don't you agree?"
"I think I have got enough fresh air." I said but stood stiff.
I don't know when he got so near to me. But in moment he was whispering into my ears with low voice. "Are you afraid of me that you are running away? It should impose me after all you defeated Dark Lord. Maybe your bravery was hived only for him." His hot breath reached my skin and I felt, as though the dragon was waiting behind my back to burn me to the death. It took me a few moments before I was able to respond him. In my head I was fighting over two possibilities. First try to kill him and second get away from here as soon as possible
"I'm not, but I think that friends will seek me after."
"Tss, tss, toss, don't worry Mr. Potter or shall I call you Harry?" It was clear that he was making fun from me. " I think I saw Dumbledore to be catch in deep conversation with Scrimgeour and others were having a good fun. I think they won't miss you for a moment or two." He laid his hand on my tense shoulder and squeezed it.
"Don't be afraid after all everybody saw you leaving with me. I have to protect you or I'm a death man. "He chuckled.
"What do you want from me? No rubbish about a pleasant conversation, please."
"The word please sounds good on your tongue." His hand caressed my cheek. I slapped his hand away.
"What the fuck ..."
"Tss, tss, such a language." This time he caught my chin and held it firmly. I fierily looked into his cold grey eyes but dropped them, when I felt his presence in my mind. He is a legilimes. Of course, I'm an idiot to forget this.
"Never try this again." I hissed angry. I disentangled from his gripe and took a few steps aback. I wasn't such a fool to turn my back on him. He was absolutely calm and sure of himself. He was on ministry's ground, where he had most of officers in his pocket. We had to look like a predator and his prey, if somebody observed us. Unfortunately I was there the prey, which was looking for a hiding place.
"It seems that Severus was obviously wrong." He muttered to himself. His face changed into the mask without emotions. I had no notion of what he was thinking about.
"I have an offer for you." He said to me.
"I don't know why I should listen to you." I was prepared to fleet away as soon as possible. I had been a few feet away from him when he spoke again.
"It's matter, which you will be interested in. But this isn't place to discuss it."
"I'm not interested in anything what is connected with you!" He approached me again and with quite but firm voice he said.
"I hoped, the information about your dear Good-father would sound interesting to you." I felt, as if my heart stopped for a moment. I looked on him in disbelief. "But I see that I misjudged a situation." In this time he was leaving me. The bastard, he knew that I would want this information. He wanted me to make him stop. In spite of my pride the hope won over. What if I could bring Sirius back?
"Malfoy, what is this information about?" He stopped and I was angry on myself that I let him to manipulate with me.
"As I said Harry, this is not place to discuss this delicate information." The stress was put on a word Harry and delicate. I really don't like it. If it hadn't been Malfoy I would have been afraid that he was hitting on me. Such a crap. He had a wife.
"How can I trust you? You know our history and I don't believe a word in your defence. You surely remember that it's also your mistake what happened to the Sirius." I drew a deep breath and continued. "So tell me why I should trust you?"
"I don't want your trust now. I only asking, whether you want this information or not."
"If I don't trust you, how I can know, if this information is valuable."
"It depends on you. It's a win or a loss." He stopped his speech and observed me. "I let you time to think. You know when you find me." He looked on night sky where were stars shining. "It's time to walk you back or your friends will miss you. Don't you think?" The arrogance again showed in his tone. But I didn't listen to him I was thinking about his bargain.
A month passed since I had met him and had that odd conversation with him. I nearly succeeded to forget about this event and continued my peaceful life of an apprentice of the Master of Defence against Dark Arts. It's little bit funny. After I had defeated a man, who called himself the Dark Lord, I began to study it. It's turned up. Don't you think?
I'm sitting in the library and reading a dreadful tome. Sometimes I really miss Hermione and her searching skills. She studies the Culture and History of the Magical world. She has become a walking library and it's really annoying. I have been asking myself how Ron can get along with her. It must be love. I can help but I must smile when I'm thinking about them. The memories on Hogwarts are coming back to me. That time everything seemed to be simple. The world was black and white for us and I knew what to do. I wish to know, what I have do now. What's right and what's bad. Where is the line between good and evil? Sometimes life sucks.
The offer from Malfoy sounds so invitingly. I want to grab it. The question is what he will want in return. It's a business and I'm not aware of what he could've wanted. He has everything money, power and contacts. The image of the Milfoils was damaged though but Draco was working on a recovering their former prestige.
I could simply write him a letter but it would mean that I'm interested. I don't want to give him any hint of my interest. I also have a feeling that it's about who will outlast.
"Harry I have really good news for you." I turned to my master. He was an old man not much younger the Dumbledore. He was kind to me. His knowledge was unbelievable extensive and he wanted to share them. I was lucky that he accepted me as his apprentice.
"Mr. Malfoy gives us a permission to use his library. You can't imagine, what an honour its. One of the largest and oldest collections of book in England..." He was so excited that even he didn't notice that I didn't listen to him. I sunk in my darks thoughts which were full of a certain offer.
"Harry?" My teacher looked worriedly and I realized that he was waiting on my reaction." I know, that between you and Mr. Malfoy are disagreements, but you can take it as a chance to overcome them." He said softly. And people say that I'm naive. How can he be the Master of Defence against Dark Arts, when he can't see evil, even if it's right in front of his eyes?
Indeed my teacher accepted Malfoy's invitation. The vision of new knowledge was stronger than anything else. We have been visiting the Malfoy's library for a week yet. There hasn't been any real conversation between us till now.
"Who'd though that the Golden boy would be interested in the Dark Arts?" I was startled by his baritone. He was standing behind me while I was sitting on the chair and reading one of his books, which was recommended me for my study. I didn't turn to him, my eyes was still fixed on the text in a leather book.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Malfoy." I said bitterly and I had to react on his insinuation on the Golden Boy. "Who would though that a servant of Voldemort would let Boy Who Live use his library?" I knew it was the biggest outrage to call a Malfoy a servant as a deathly silence hung like a heavy mantle over the entire scene.
"Mr. Potter, you should understand one thing. Malfoys have never been servants and they never will be. "His lethal voice broke the silence. These words contained a hidden treat.
"Are you sure? You have a quite poor memory Mr. Malfoy. I remember quite well, when you were kneeling on the floor, your head bent and your lips were kissing Voldemorts feet." I had answered him calmly then I turned to him and continued." I saw it through his eyes. Do you understand Mr. Malfoy." We were wide-staring on each other. For briefly moment he looked surprised but he quickly concealed it.
"So tell me Mr. Potter, why are you so obsessed with the Dark Arts."
"I'm not obsessed. I'm merely interested." It wasn't lie and he didn't need to know the full truth. "You know its part of my studies. " I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to the text.
"Merely interested." He bemusedly repeated my words. "Well, then I cannot help you."
"I didn't ask for you help." I replied, trying to squash my curiosity down. "But what kind of help had you on your mind?" Before I ended that sentence I had known that I made a mistake. That was the question what he was waiting for.
"I want merely to help you with your studies, of course."He leaned over the armchair that his mouth was a few inches from my ear and added " Or do you have another matter, which do you need a help with?"
Sirius. His previous offer hung in the air. It was only waiting for me to grasp for it. What if I can save Sirius? But this man is a devil. What if it is only a trap?
"I only want to protect the innocents." I was tired of my own diffidence though I knew it's rightful.
"Innocents like was your Good-father?"
"Yes" I whispered.
"Then you are lying to yourself, Mr. Potter." He answered. "Let me reveal you what do you really want." I wanted argue with him but he put finger on my mouth to calm my protests down. "Let me tell you what I saw on the battlefield." I sucked breath and hold it while he was speaking.
"I saw somebody, who was creating for fight. Your body was moving by your instincts." Meanwhile he was speaking, his fingers run from mouth to my neck and settled on my shoulder. "And then I spotted your facial expression and I saw you. Real you. The beast which is hidden in you." He took a deep breath.
"Tell me Harry." He was so near that I could smell him. "Do you love the rush of adrenalin in your blood, when the battle began. When you can feel the danger around you. When you have the power to take or save someone's life." I couldn't breathe as he was speaking. "Tell me, that I'm wrong and I won't bother you with it in future." He had added softly luring me by sense of a false security and then it occurred me. It wasn't about what I wanted. It was about what he wanted.
"What do you want?" I said with weak voice. It sounded so wrong. I strengthen myself. "What do you really offer me and what's the price?"
"You wouldn't believe me If I said that it's for altruistic reasons?" He smirked.
"No, I'm maybe Gryffindor but not an idiot."
"True."
?{{{{{{{{{{{{{
What he told me, it should be forgotten or I should forget it as soon as I heard it. It was my path to the hell, my personal hell on the earth. He found out how the veil was working. He made out the principle of this artefact and I was hungry for his discovers. There was a chance that the Sirius was alive and what more we could get him from the veil into this world. Incredible.
It's like a dream. The dream turned to a nightmare, after I had found out what he had wanted in return. The life for the life. I asked him, if he really hated me so much that he wanted to kill me. He answered with arrogant expression on his face.
"No Harry, we don't understand each other. I don't want to kill you. It would be a waste. I want to own you. I want to conquer your body." He stood up from his chair and came to me. His hands squeezed my shoulders as the proof of his words. I was down and he was above not only physically but also psychically. Damn. Why it always seem that he is the winner?
"You want me to be your slave?" It was only thing which came on my paralyzed mind.
"No, such treatment wouldn't be good for a future of Draco's political carrier." I jerked when I heard Draco's name. From the war times we were on good terms. We weren't exactly friends but we made a truce. What more, after Narcisas' death, I began to respect him for his strength and love toward his family.
"Don't blame him. He doesn't know anything." He said and continued. "I want you to be my lover. I want you to be faithful to me. I want to have the only right to touch you." His hand was still touching me.
I wanted vomit. I wanted to run away. Somebody help me! I was quite. I was utterly shocked. He had to see it because he stopped his speech.
"I will give you a time. Harry get it through your head." He said with gently voice, as if he was soothing a small kid. Can you image it? Malfoy is soothing a kid. I had to laugh in my mind because if I had been thinking straight I would have cry. He left me here with my thoughts.
You can guess what my choice was. After all I'm fucking Savoir of the Wizard world. I was told that I saved many. There was a chance to save my only loving part of family which I had ever had. For me there was only one answer. If my friends had known they would have stopped me. So I didn't tell them anything. I knew that one day I will lay down my life for another. The only difference was that I laid down my freedom to choice a lover.
We made a wizard vow. He will rescue Sirius and I will be his lover. I made him to promise me that it will be a secret between us. Sirius must not get knowledge of this vow between us.
After we had made a vow the preparations for rescue of my Good-father began. It took us two months to make final modifications. We worked together. I could let him do his part of vow alone but I wanted to know what's going on. I wanted to understand and make it faster. When we were working like this we were getting acknowledge each other. I learn a lot of new things when I was arguing with him. It was almost pleasant time. After this two month I could accept him as fatherly person, teacher or my friend but I couldn't think about him as my lover. It was unacceptable.
"Harry?" Dry hoarse voice woke me up. I was sitting on a hospital chair next his bed and holding his hand.
"Sirius" I wanted to cry with a joy. He was alive. He was with me. When I apparated with him to the St. Mungo's, nobody could believe their own eyes. You know, the newspapers were full of stories about Boy Who Live and his Good- father. There were a lot of rubbish in it but I didn't care.
Everybody came here to make sure, that the news were true. Hermione and Ron were disappointed that I didn't let them know, what I was doing. I only shrugged my shoulders and said that I had to do it by myself. Hermione murmured something about men and then hugged me tightly. It was good have friends like them.
Latter on Dumbledore arrived with his twinkling eyes, extravagant purple robes and wise words. The words which I really didn't want to heard. He knew what I studied and where. I think that he was afraid of me to become the next Dark Lord. I assured him, that I know my place in this world and I'm not interested in a policy and power. When I was child I loved and respected this old man but it's a past and only the bittersweet memories remained.
Nobody could destroy these moments with Sirius.
I knew that my perfect world would end one day and I would have to pay. He gave me time to carelessly enjoy first weeks with my Good-father. I helped Sirius with his recovering, finding a flat because the Grimmould place wasn't good place for his fragile mind. Of course, he didn't admit it but I acted on my own. In time everything was sat up with the daily routine. But I felt the gap between us. I grow up and changed but for Sirius' time frozen four years ago. For him I was still teenager, who wanted to pranks others. So I spent with him a lot of time to try to lessen the gab. We discussed ordinary thinks like small Teddy, Weasley's family, what he wanted to do. I was grateful that he didn't ask me, how I managed to get him from the veil. I would have to lie and I abhor it.
I knew that I had to go to Malfoy. The worst thing on it was that he acted as a gentleman to me. He gave me a time. He didn't press me, urge me. He waited when I will come to him. In some ways it was even worse. If he had been a bastard to me I would have been able to hate him. But he didn't act like one. He fulfilled his part of vow. He helped me get Sirius to a hospital, and not reveal his promise. He assisted me in many ways, which weren't in part of our bargain. No, he was the greatest bastard. He made me obliged to him more than the vow requested. He knew that I would feel this way because I'm who I'm.
So now I'm sitting in his office, I don't know how to properly call it, and waiting for him. The house-elves are literally dancing around me and fulfilling my wishes. It's really funny to watch their amazement when I thank them.
He entered into the room like a real Lord. Of course he is one, but still I was not fully accustomed his presence.
He sat in his leather chair and looked into my eyes. He didn't say a word to me. I was nervous, who wouldn't be? I bowed my head and broke the gaze. I think that I looked like I was waiting for a death sentence. He didn't seem to be delighted by my uneasy-nest. It surprised me.
"I wanted to thank you, for ..." My words were stopped.
"Don't thank me." He said by a stone hard voice." It was part of my bargain." No, it wasn't. I wanted to protest but words were chocked in my throat. Then he sighed.
"Potter" He always addresses me by my surname when he was displeased with me. "I won't rape you in my office. Relax." He had to see my relief and sniggered.
"You really have a low opinion about me. It's really injuring my vanity." He added mockingly.
"Your ego is big enough to survive it." I spitted out without thinking.
"Good, there is my Gryffindor." He seemed to be delighted by my harsh words. Really Malfoys are quite weird.
"Did you have a dinner?" He asked me out of the blue.
"What?" I was disoriented by sudden change of topic.
"I asked you if you had a dinner. It's enough clear for you?"
"No. I haven't."
We had a dinner together and from this day it became nearly the daily routine. Of course, my weekend evenings were saved for Sirius. I began to feel comfortable with him. When I was with him I felt free to be myself. Be a Harry. It was pleasant to discuss my studies with him. He knew so much and I craved for his knowledge and we also argued about everything.
He insisted me to call him Lucius. So I began. For first moments it felt really weird and I had a problem with it. But it gradually began to be obviosity. He had never tried to intimate me that time. He didn't demand anything for me. There were only some randomly touches. Or sometimes when I was upset he laid his hand on my shoulder. And it's happened that I get used to his touches, his presence. I couldn't imagine an evening without him. I become addicted on his presence.
Sometimes it happened that Draco was eating with us. He didn't ask why I was in a manor. He seemed to be accustomed father's secrets or maybe he knew about our vow. I don't know I have never dared to ask him.
In that time Draco was studying in France. His choice was diplomatic studies. It was common choice for a Malfoy. But what I remember in school days Draco was everything just not diplomatic. He changed. The war changed everyone and their relationship also altered. The terms between them were more stand-offish. Draco was no longer the child who boundlessly adored his father. He was a young man who could see father's mistakes. I think that Draco blamed his father for Narcissi's sudden death and couldn't upbraid him for it.
It was a dinner time when I arrived to a manor. But something was different. The house-elves were alarmed, running from one room to another, beating their heads. I stopped one, I think his name was Trinky, I asked what happened. But you know it's quite difficult to get something from unhinged house-elf. When my patience had drawn to its end I asked them to lead me to their master. It only began to be more panicked and blathered something about its forbidden. But in the end I made them to show me where Lucius were.
He wasn't in a manor. I was led through the extensive gardens until we reached a small cemetery. It was surrounded by weeping birches. Their bent branches were isolating this place from rest of the world. There Trinky left me before the gate of the sacred place. I opened the old Iron Gate with guilty feeling. This place was Malfoy's sanctuary and I had no right to interfere. But I was obliged to Lucius and if something happened to him I wouldn't be able to forbear it.
I walked through the cementer, passing tomb stones with epitaphs of family's members. Some of them were ancient, covered with green moss. The one which catch my attention was gravestone with two white marble doves. The epitaph said: Arestel Malfoy, The bellowed son of Narcisa and Lucius Malfoy. Died before his life could bloom, 1981-1982. Beside it was a new tomb stone, where his mother dwelt in peace.
It was sad. The date of the death were on both stones same. On both graves were laid roses, on Narcisa's red ones and on his son white. It was symbolical. I understand that I should had left this place and let Lucius grief but I didn't. I didn't want to let him alone. So I took a deep breath and entered in a chapel which towered above the gravestone.
The smell of the dust, and the dampness in the air was first what struck me. It was dark inside; there were lit only two single candles. On the ground I could see silver hair shinning through the dark. He didn't notice my arrival. He sat on a stair before the alter. He didn't wear his usual wizard robes. He has simple black trousers and gray shirt, which first buttons were unbuttoned. In his grief he looked like a defeated king.
I got near to him.
"Lucius?" I said unsure to get his attention, but it looked like, he didn't hear me. Maybe he was too deep in his thoughts or he didn't want to hear me. I knelt before him and shakily reached to push his dissolved hair from his face.
His hand abruptly shot up and grabbed my wrist when I touched his hair. Then he lifted his face and looked on me. His gray eyes reflected the lit of the candles. He hadn't cried. His tears were locked inside of him. It was terrifying to see the pain in them. He survived war to live in his personal hell on the earth. I saw it. I could do only one thing, I embraced him. I hugged him tightly so he could feel he wasn't alone. For moments it felt as if I was hugging a stone. But he loosen up, I could feel as his muscles relax. He put his hands around me and embraced me back. He didn't cry because the Malfoy's don't cry. It's a rule. But I could feel as his grief roll away with each passed minute.
I could hear his pulse on his neck, smell of his hair, feel roughness of his embrace and warm of his breath. It was first time when I was so close to someone not physically but emotionally. I wanted to cry out his tears.
But my knees began to protest against a cold and hard floor and I had to disengage from his twine. He didn't let me fully get from him. His hands hold my wrists as if he was afraid that I would leave him. He pulled me nearer. Our noses were nearly touching. Then he kissed me. It was rough and desperate. His tongue deluged my mouth. I only shut my eyes and let him. He put my hands around his neck and with one hand he sneaked under my shirt to reveal me skin. His kiss went from desperate to gentle and I responded on them and return them back. In this world of darkness I could accept him and let him lead us to the silent damnation.
I have no idea when we had put off the clothes and ended lying on them. His fingers were stroking my naked skin; his lips were caressing my throat. I was aroused by his touches and awkwardly tried to imitate them. We were enjoying your bodies, our feelings. But it wasn't happiness what led our bodies. It was a sorrow, loneliness and despair of living.
And in the weakness point I let him to penetrate me. I let him to drive me crazy. I let him to abuse my virgin body. I let him fuck me hard. No word was told while we were having a sex. The walls of chapel only echoed stifled moaning and slamming one body on another. His hand around my cock and his penis deep in my body. I was so near of coming that I wanted to cry for more. But my mouth was covered with his, my hands were around his neck and his were on my hips. Perfection.
For first time I opened eyes to look at him and see his face. On his skin glittered drops of sweat, his eyes bewitchingly trace every my move. In that moment you took my heart. Or maybe you were gradually stealing it from beginning. But it didn't matter anymore when the ecstasy came.
THE END
