50 things that Francis should not do, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

I know someone had already made something like this but I was really bored.... So here it is~ Enjoy~

PS I used their human names (Seychelles is Michelle and Denmark is Matthias)

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

xXx

50 Things Francis is not allowed to do anymore

1. I should stop calling Vash "my sexy swiss maid" during meetings

2. -it would result to me in a hospital

3. Michelle, Peter and Raivis are too young for me

4 Arthur, Berwald and Toris said so

5. I am not allowed to answer the nations in #3 if they ask anything about the "birds" and the "bees"

6. I am also not allowed to demonstrate it

7. I am also not allowed to make them watch my education sex ed videos

8. The nations from #4 said it was too "vulgar" (although Matthias and Elisaveta said it was pure genius)

9. I am not allowed to bring Piere anymore

10. -if I still teach Piere vulgar words

11. -and making Piere say those said words in front of the nations in #3

12. I will not mock Arthur about his "fairy friends"

13. -especially if those said friends are right in front of him

14. Arthur is not my fuck toy

15. Same goes for Canada

16. But I would like them to be

17. Saying anything to Tino means sexual harassment to Berwald

18. I should not surprise (raep) Arthur and Tino

19. They have owners

20. But I could surprise (raep) their owners

21. Especially Arthur... yes Arthur

22. I will pay for the therapy the nations in #3 if:

23. - I accidentally talked about how good a certain nation is in bed

24. -I started watching corn in front of them with Matthias

25. I'm not allowed to ask Russia if I could touch his "big, manly pipe"

26. -which could result to me painfully walking for weeks

27. -and Natalya trying to kill me in my sleep

28. I should not ask Elisaveta if I could watch her have sex

29. I should not talk about Napoleon in front of European countries

30. -they seem to throw dark looks at me

31. I should not lock anyone in a broom closet with Ivan inside

32. -even if it is fun

33. -because Ivan is good in bed

34. -yes... yes he is

35. I'm not allowed to get naked in public during any holiday

36. -but any day is fine

37. I'm not allowed to ask other nations to have a masturbation marathon with me

38. I should stop buying corn from Elisaveta

39. -even though it's in high quality

40. I also should not ask her if she really has a penis

41. and if she has sex videos of Gilbert and Roderich

42. Asking her if I could watch it is not allowed either

43. I should not answer Alfred if he asks for sex advice

44. -As it would only result to seeing Arthur limp walking for days

45. -even though it's cute to see him limp walking

46. - I must be the only one who could do that to him

47. I must remember #14

48. Hell! YOU SHOULD REMEBER ALL OF THEM!!!

49. Angleterre this is my list please get out

50. I, the Republic of France solemnly swear to follow all of these.... or do I?