Outside, a gentle, whimsical wind blew and scattered dead leaves across the ground. The woman walked gingerly over the leaf-trodden path, as if wary that the sound of her footsteps would disturb some cosmic equilibrium. Her hesitation was uncalled for, she realised. There were no animals around to disturb, not even any birds. She could hear the flow of water somewhere to her right, but with each step she took, the sound of it became more distant. Less significant, somehow.
Ahead of her was a house. It was not a very large establishment, perhaps smaller than a family unit. Yet she physically hesitated as she drew near. In spite of its stature, the house seemed grand. It was a place of bamboo and sliding doors, of ponds filled with reeds and carp fishes, of silent murmuring music punctuated by the clack of Go stones being laid down. No matter what the woman did, she was conscious of her inability to cause even a ripple in the world she was about to enter.
Bravely, the woman plunged ahead. Above and behind her, more dead leaves fell off their trees and on to the path in her wake.
Prologue
"Hikaru, is that you?"
"A-Akari?"
The woman stepped forward when the door opened for her and clasped her right hand tightly against her chest. She smiled, so sweet and nostalgic, it felt as if some part of her heart was dislodging and rearranging itself inside of her chest.
"It's been a while, Hikaru."
She wondered if it was the same for him.
"Yeah, it has been."
She often had a knack for feeling things one way or the other, but this time, she honestly didn't know.
A cool breeze swept through the garden, and Akari heard the leaves in the garden rustle as if in response. She shivered, and at that moment she wondered what on earth she was actually doing. If this place was the here she wanted to be.
Hikaru closed the door and immediately, the sound of the wind died away.
"Want any tea?" he asked with a tilt of his head.
"Um, okay," Akari responded as she knelt to take off her boots. The shoe rack, she noticed, was filled with a combination of dirty sneakers and meticulously polished black shoes. Akari stood up after she noiselessly pulled on a pair of house slippers.
"It's so quiet here," she remarked at length. There was nothing else she could think to say.
In answer, Hikaru only chuckled. "That's only 'cos Toya's not here right now," he replied. He was out of sight in the next room somewhere, which Akari assumed was the kitchen because she could the sound of a kettle boiling. Even that coupled with Hikaru's laughter did little to dispel the quietude in the atmosphere.
Akari decided that she liked it, even though there was something a bit lonely about it. But maybe Hikaru was incapable of feeling that now.
She entered the kitchen and thanked Hikaru when he presented her with a warm cup of green tea. When she smiled, she wondered if Hikaru could see any of her loneliness.
"So is this what you Go players do in your free time?" She giggled. "Drink tea and play more Go?"
"Actually, Toya drinks coffee," Hikaru interjected, grinning. "And I drink lemonade."
Akari stared.
"At least it doesn't get cold," Hikaru pointed out. "Not to mention sugar brings out the Go genius in me."
She couldn't help it then. It was as if all the tension she felt inside of herself broke out into ripples. She burst out laughing.
"You haven't changed a bit!" she snorted. "How long's it been? Ten years?"
"About that, yeah."
She stopped laughing then, although not suddenly for the sensation to be jarring. When her chuckles faded altogether, she felt something ebb in her heart, and then something unseen in the corner of her eyes responded.
She had lied.
"What's wrong, Akari?" Hikaru asked, his face creasing in worry.
"It's nothing," Akari said quickly. She shook her head. She hadn't come to see Hikaru to be sad about it.
There was still an etched silence before she spoke again. It lasted for less than a second, but it was just another lifetime for her.
"So you're living with Toya-kun now," she commented.
Hikaru nodded. "Yeah, he should be back any minute now."
Akari found herself thinking: It'll be too late then.
Or maybe it already was.
"Hikaru," she began, hesitantly. "There's something… something I want to ask."
He put down the teapot. Paused.
"What is it, Akari?"
He didn't know. It had been ten years, after all.
Akari took a deep breath, steadying herself.
"I came, so let's play a game. A game of Go, alright?"
For a moment, Hikaru didn't say anything. Akari waited with bated breath.
And then Hikaru said, his countenance somber: "Are you sure?"
"Yes," said Akari.
"Are you sure you still don't suck?"
Akari made a noise of frustration.
The clacks of stone against wooden board created a rhythm within Akari's mind in spite of their sporadic intervals. It had been a long while since she had last picked up a Go stone and even though the texture felt no different, the hand that held it had changed. Her fingers trembled and slipped when she picked up a stone, so much so that when she eventually placed it down, it wobbled. Akari stared at it resignedly until it went still. Only then did she peer at Hikaru's face.
"Why?" he asked her.
Clack.
He placed his own stone down with consummate ease.
"I haven't played Go since high school," Akari whispered in answer. "Guess I'm a bit rusty."
"More than a bit," Hikaru replied tartly. "Why are you playing at the centre?"
In response, Akari simply shook her head helplessly and smiled sheepishly.
"Hikaru," she said softly as she gingerly picked up another stone. "I always knew as well as you did that Go wasn't the game for me." She placed the stone down with an accompanying sigh. "But I did like it, you know."
Hikaru said nothing.
"Those days with the Go club," Akari went on wistfully, "they were fun."
Hikaru wordlessly placed another stone down.
His silence should have infuriated Akari but now, as she sat on her knees and peered at the now handsome face of her childhood friend, she could not find a part of her that could possibly be angry. Instead, she felt a little stab of pain in her chest, the way she always felt when an old childhood memory became warped with time. She had to remind herself again: she wasn't here to grieve about him.
"Hikaru," Akari resumed. She noticed to her chagrin that her chest was slowly heaving. "Have you forgotten us all?"
"It was the hardest choice I ever had to make."
He said it so quietly, so soberly, and she noticed his hands fall to his sides and ball into fists. His eyebrows creased, as if he was willing himself to concentrate.
Or not to cry.
"I never meant to drift from all of you," he insisted. "I just – it just-"
"I know," Akari stopped him short, gently. "It wasn't your fault. These things happen."
Something in Hikaru's expression softened.
"So how are the others?" he asked. "Mitani? Tsutsui-san? I haven't kept in contact with them either."
At the mention of a particular name, Akari felt something inside of her clench up tightly.
She looked up and smiled – delicately, as if she was trying to fix up part of herself.
"We've all grown up and changed, Hikaru," she said. "All of us."
"Oh, yeah," said Hikaru, scratching his cheek. "You've changed too, you know."
"Oh, really? Have I?"
"You've gotten taller," Hikaru said.
Akari picked up a black Go stone.
"Is that it?" she pressed him. "Just taller?"
"Um, yeah?"
She flicked the stone at him.
"Not wiser, not prettier, just taller?"
"Ouch!" Hikaru exclaimed. "How about nastier?"
That comment rewarded him with another stone to the forehead. And then another. And another. It felt better than it should have; it was somehow vindicating. It wasn't Hikaru she was doing this to anyway. Hikaru Shindo the professional Go player maybe, but not Hikaru, the boy who lived next door.
But when he waved his hands over his face and yelled indignantly but not convincingly because he had a ridiculous grin on his face… He came close. More, more, more, Akari thought in desperation, and she laughed and laughed and laughed, until her sides ached.
She was so busy raining stones upon Hikaru that she barely even noticed the door slide open.
"Am I interrupting something?" a young man's voice interjected mildly. Akira Toya stood at the doorway, a politely puzzled look on his face.
Akari looked up, startled.
Involuntarily, her hands shook violently, and immediately she stopped what she was doing.
She had come to the end of a line.
End Prologue
"It's too late now," she whispered.
The wind had become cold and in the sky, the moon shone dimly, not brightly. It was as if it had forgotten how to shine.
"I have to go." Her voice was low, insistent. "Because it's too late."
Outside, the leaves continued to fall in their steady cadence.
Author's note: Hikaru is not being paired with Akari. Her role in the story is pretty much already over. I suppose you could probably see which way my shipping goggles are tilted if you squint.
Anyway, thanks for reading. The next chapter will hopefully be up soon. It won't be too long a story, but we'll see how it pans out.