AN: This story is co-written by CJ Izzy. So yay her! If there are any Edward fans reading this, you might hate this story. So flame it all you want! In fact, we welcome flames! We want flames. We're aware that this is short, but it'll get longer later. This is just the intro.
Edward Cullen had everything he wanted in life. He had good looks, an amazing body. He had a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter. He was friends with the man who used to be his rival, Jacob Black. Of course, that man was to be his son-in-law, but still. His family had made allies with the werewolves and had successfully avoided the wrath of the Volutri. All in all, life (or in his case, existence) was going pretty well for Edward.
Though it hadn't always been this way. Sure, at first glance it would seem that Edward had the perfect life, but if you dared to dig deeper, look past his fake, sparkly appearance and into his past, you'd see he was anything but this perfect vampire. In fact, you might even see horrors beyond imaginable. You would see what little mister Gayward Cullen or Edweird Cullen or Mr. Sparkles (whichever you prefer) has tried to hide for years.
Edward Cullen had lived for a long time. He had supposedly told his family and his beloved, Bella, what had gone on in those years. But what if he had some deep, dark secrets that he never wanted to come out into the open? Are there things he'd rather hide from anyone he knew, for fear that they would look down on him? Of course, there were some people who knew some of his secrets, but none knew all of them. He was much too smart to let them find out.
Who says that Renesmee is Edward's only daughter? Who says that he never wrote emo poetry? Who says that he never had feelings for men? Who says that he was never called names as a kid? Who says that his parents actually died of natural causes? Who says that he never had dirty thoughts about Spongebob? Who says that he can keep all these secrets locked inside, safe from prying public eyes? Someone was bound to find out eventually.
That will be our job for the next few weeks. We have endeavored to find out every dirty little secret Edward Cullen has *cues Dirty Little Secret by the All-American Rejects in the background* So HAHAHAHAHAHA, you Twi-Hard Edward fans. Edward Cullen isn't the perfect man you would like to believe he is. You thought Eddy-kins was perfect? Well, you're wrong! So read on…if you dare.
AN: Are you intrigued? Do you want to read on? Well, review! And for you Edward fangirls, FLAME YOUR HEART OUT!