It was hard to say the least, being a towel. Discrimination still occurs in the 21st century, which puts a strain my social life. Forget about finding love! All a towel could do was live day by day, and get a little high.
I go by Towelie, but people only remember me by the advice I leave. "Don't forget to bring a towel!" or, "If you're going to get wet, always be sure to bring a towel," I always say. Giving everyone advice gets fucking tiring after a while. Where's my help? Who cares about me? Nobody ever does, or ever will. Damn, this bud is LOUD. I'm glad Butters started making himself useful and became a dealer. Best in town, I say. He's grown up a lot over the years. Although he's still bullied by the boys, he's become tolerable. Maybe it's the fact that he finally had the strength to come out that I never did that draws me to him. A gay towel? I'd be burned alive, never to be used again.
Anyway, South Park has turned out to be one of the largest towns in the area, even beating North Park by a few hundred. Was it the chaos that occurs regularly or the fact that a local towel wrote a book that was featured on Oprah twice? I'd prefer the latter. Man, I miss getting away with crazy shit. I turned soft along with my career. At least I get to live off royalties, getting this quality weed costs a fiber and a thread! Maybe I could spend some of the cash on getting a fetish website built for local gay towels. Ha, that's a laugh.
I could hear knocking on the door. Who would it be other than that fat ass Eric Cartman.
"Yo, Towelie," he said coolly, "There's a party at Tweek's, gonna be HUGE. You down?"
I thought about it for a bit before answering. All the guys would be there, maybe even… no. I shouldn't get my hopes up. "Hell yeah, I'll go. Butters getting the weed?"
Cartman sighed, sounding like a walrus, "Ugh, yeah probably. I wouldn't touch it, though. You may catch the fag."
"Shut the fuck up! Saying shit like that is so 2004, dude," I yelled as a took a toke from my spliff. He laughed, then rode his bike home. How the fuck a 400 pound person could ride such a cheap bike, I will never know. I don't really care though, as long as I see Bradley, nothing else matters.