Though the grey clouds have covered the entire sky, there is a heat that radiates from the square. I discreetly wipe my sweaty palms on my dress as Effie Trinket makes her way across the stage to a glass ball, filled with small strips of paper that are neatly folded. Twenty of which have my name in the neatest handwriting I could assemble.
Her heels click against the floor of the stage, the microphones pick up the noise and it bounces around through the speakers.
Effie Trinket reaches a delicate hand into the glass ball and clasps a slip of folded paper between her fingers and then trots back to the podium. The large, bubbly smile plastered to her face shows a type of happiness that only the Capitol can really pull off.
She unfolds the paper carefully and leans into the microphone with a clear, overly cheerful voice. "Primrose Everdeen!"
I freeze, did I hear right? There's an ache in my chest; a mixture of my pounding heart that drums in my ears and of the lack of air in my pained lungs. My eyes search frantically through the crowd of children, panic flooding me when they find her.
My little sister, Primrose Everdeen, a blonde 12 year-old-girl who can't hurt a fly, is chosen to represent District 12 in the Hunger Games. I don't know if it's the shock or the disbelief that has me frozen, but I watch her walk slowly through the crowd. They part, creating a path for her, but that doesn't speed her small steps.
The back of her shirt is untucked, forming a duck's tail. It reminds me how young she is, how much she still needs me. I find my strength and push through the kids, the bile rising in my throat makes my voice coarse and croaky. "Prim!"
They move out of the way and I rush down the path towards her. She is looking up the stairs cautiously as she takes another step up; it's obvious she didn't hear me.
"Prim!" I cry again, and she stops, spinning her head around to look at me. I pull her down desperately. The Peacekeepers are already making their way to us, and I know what their intentions are. They're going to take me away from Prim.
I stop them though. The choked words come out of my mouth forcefully, but I'd say it again for Prim's safety. "I volunteer!" They don't appear to hear me, because they're still pushing their way towards me. I say it louder, the microphones catching it in the background. "I volunteer as tribute!"
"Katniss?" She looks up at me, panic flaring in her eyes as she grabs my arm..
I shrug her off; trying to convince myself I don't see the tears in her eyes. I don't want to make her cry. "Let me go, Prim." I tell her as she wraps her arms around my waist. The Peacekeepers are coming back again, and I realize the mayor is talking to Effie about something, but I don't catch it.
Prim's cry rings in my ears; she clings to me as the Peacekeepers try to pull her away. "Let go!" I say bitterly, pulling her locked fingers apart.
"Katniss!" She screams. "Katniss, no!" I turn around to see it is Gale who has picked her up. "Up you go, Catnip." He says. I can hear he's trying to keep his voice calm.
Prim is still screaming in the background but my heart's thudding has taken over now. It's loud and I'm wondering if Effie can hear it as I walk towards her.
"Well done!" Effie exclaims. "That's the spirit! So, what's your name?"
"Katniss Everdeen." My gravelly voice is heard on the microphone and it's eerie through the speakers.
"I bet that girl was your sister." I am conscious of the frown taking over my face as she continues. "Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we?"
Effie's about to speak, but Haymitch wobbles across the stage towards me and grins unevenly. "Look at her. Look at this one!" He shouts, a heavy arm slams down onto my shoulders and I feel myself sink for a second before regaining balance.
"I like her!" He points a crooked finger lazily at me. "Lots of…" Then he stops looking upwards as if trying to remember a word.
Before he can continue what he was trying to say, Effie looks back from us to the microphone. "Now for the boys!"
She's obviously trying to draw the attention away from Haymitch and I, her wig slightly ruffled and her cheeks pinker than before, if that's even possible. It's not working though, because all the cameras are still focused on Haymitch when he clicks his fingers. "Spunk!" He says proudly. "More than you!" He yells, staggering to the edge of the stage to point at the cameras. He's about to say something else, but then his leg collapses beneath him and he falls off the stage, knocking himself unconscious.
I blink away the tears in my eyes very quickly and let out the chocked noise I'd been holding in me while the cameras are all directed at Haymitch, the crew grinning delightedly.
Effie is already at the ball, grabbing another piece of paper and walking back to the podium.
"Gale Hawthorne!" Effie Trinket's high-pitched, frilly voice causes me to cringe; those were two words I did not want to hear. The boy who walked by my side in the woods, taught me to set snares and traps, overcame hunger with me, shared thoughts that are forbidden; Gale.
My best friend who has to fight to the death in the same arena as I, in a game where only one wins.
I watch him walk through the parted crowd and climb the steps. He finally brings his eyes from the floor. A hard set expression, his mouth taut, his eyes narrowed. My face shows no emotion; hiding my panic behind a façade that only he can see through.
As if it were a wondrous occasion, Effie Trinket starts to clap. "Everyone give a round of applause to our newest tributes!"
No body moves. There is not a sound in the square. The uncomfortable silence racks my stomach as it goes for minutes that seem like hours. Someone presses their three middle fingers to their lips and then holds out their hand, and I'm taken aback. Another person does the same, and then another and another, until every person in the District has raised their hands out to us.
This sign is seen at funerals, normally. It means thanks and goodbye and admiration.
The mayor gives a very awkward and uncomfortable Effie a small nod and then takes her place at the podium. He then gives a monotonous speech about the Treaty of Treason and looks back at us, motioning Gale and I to shake hands.
We turn to each other and shake stiffly, but when I start to slip my fingers out of Gale's hand, he grips it tighter, indicating that he doesn't want to let go just yet. So we hold hands during the anthem, and his thumb brushes my knuckles gently.
When the anthem finishes, the Peacekeepers guide us to the Justice Building and I'm directed to a separate room from Gale, where I have to reluctantly let go of his hand.
Prim comes in and she rushes straight towards me, holding out her arms. We hug and I give her a kiss. Mother places her arm around me gently, ready to pull back if I reject her comfort. After a few moments, I look at Prim. I need to make sure everything is under control when I leave.
"Don't take any tesserae, Prim." I murmur into her hair. "You can sell Lady's milk and cheese, and mother will make money from the small apothecary business she runs now, okay? No tesserae."
She nods as she wipes her eyes. "Promise me you'll win, Katniss." Her voice cracks. "Promise me you'll win."
I can't say I will, tell her I'll win because this is a promise like that is bound to be broken. And I can't break promises. Especially not Prim's. So I just kiss her on the forehead. "Maybe,"
After another moment, I turn to my mother, who pulls her arm away quickly, scared that's the reason I look mad. "Listen to me! Are you listening to me?" I grab her arm. She nods, alarmed. "You can't leave again."
"I know; I won't." She looks down at my hand on her arm. "I couldn't help what-."
"Well, you have to help it. You can't clock out and leave Prim on her own. There is no me to keep your both alive. It doesn't matter what happens; whatever you see on the screen. You have to promise me you'll fight through it!" I yell at her. It's all kind of built up over the years, and this is probably the last chance to tell her how I felt.
She knows that's why I'm yelling, and also because I'm a bit scared of what will happen if I don't make it. She pulls her arm away though. "I was ill. I could've treated myself if I'd had the medicine I have now." She defends.
"Then take it. And take care of her!" I say.
"It'll be alright, Katniss." Prim had stopped sobbing, leaving the dried trails behind on her cheek. Her eyes are slightly red. "But you take care too. You will try, won't you? Really, really try?"
"Really, really try." I confirm. "I swear it." And at least now, I'm not making a promise I'll come back, I'm making a promise I know I'll keep, because I really will try. I'll try for Prim.
The Peacekeeper beckons to me that our time is up, and I give them both a big hug. "I love you. I love you both." Then they're saying it back to me, and then the Peacekeepers order them out and close the door.
Madge comes in, going straight to me, skipping the greetings and goodbyes. "They let you wear one thing from your District in the arena; one thing to remind you of home. Will you wear this?" She pulls out a golden pin that was on her dress earlier. I haven't really payed much attention to it, but when I look at it held out in her hand; it's a bird in flight, with an arrow in its beak.
"Your pin?" I ask her, looking back up to meet her eyes.
"Here, I'll put it on your dress, alright?" She leans in without an answer and pins it on. "Promise me you'll wear it into the arena, Katniss." She looks at me pleadingly. "Promise?"
I nod. "Okay."
She nods back, letting out a sigh. "Good luck." She murmurs, before leaving as fast as she came.
I'm not surprised when no one else comes. Eventually, the Peacekeepers realize this too, so they lead me out of the Justice Building and into a car. I've never actually been in a car before, but now isn't really the time to notice or admire them.
There's just too much on my mind.
I look at Gale, who's staring out the window blankly. I'm nearly convinced he's uninterested, like he doesn't really care that we're being sent to our deaths. But I know him better than that. I know he's seething with hatred and anger right now; despising them for tearing us away from our families, who really need us.
Within the next few minutes, we arrive at the station. It is teeming with reporters and cameramen who stand around us, trained on us as we push through the crowd. I push the thoughts of leaving Prim to the back of my mind and it helps me hide every emotion. My eyes flicker to the television screen, and to my success, I look nearly bored.
Gale is more than bored. He's beginning to lose that blank expression and I can see the annoyance in his face as he pushes through the crowd. They part immediately and I wonder if that's because he's so intimidating that they'd make sure to get out of his way.
When we finally get to the train, after letting very unavoidable cameras take us in a bit, I go to my room to get changed. It's all so fancy, with our own bathrooms, dressing area and hot and cold water; that is so accessible with only just the slightest touch of a button. I'm not used to having my own room, and I wonder how well I'll sleep tonight, on my own, without Prim sleeping beside me.
But that is the least of my worries, so I just shrug. There's ways in avoiding homesickness, I'm sure.
I have a shower and then change into a dark green shirt and trousers. I find the dining room; Gale and Effie are already sitting there.
The woman looks up at me and grins brightly, pink lipstick staining her blindingly white teeth. I sit down next to Gale and she looks between the two of us. "Where's Haymitch?" she asks.
Gale looks at her, then me, and then goes back to staring at the door, in deep thought again. I don't know either, so I just stay silent.
She waves her hand up and down. "Oh, he's probably asleep. It has been a tiring day, after all."
We have a dinner that would feed both Gale and my family for a full day, and I quietly resent the Capitol again. How can they eat so much while we're starving every day? I just don't understand how that's fair.
I eat as much as I can, but once the dinner is over, I'm feeling a little sick. Gale didn't eat too much and I realize it was probably wiser that he did so. This is definitely a luxury the Capitol took for granted, and if I'm going to eat like this for the next week, I should probably ease my way into the new diet like he is.
Gale smirks and I ignore him. There is no way I'm going to admit that he was being smarter about this than me.
We go to another room in the train where a television is already on, showing the reapings from District 1. I'm glad we haven't missed who the tributes are, because I'm eager to see who I'll be facing when I get to the Capitol.
After watching all the reapings, Effie frowns, pulling her lips back tightly as she comments on Haymitch. "Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behaviour."
We don't respond. Gale is already beginning to hate her, I know. And I can't be bothered having a conversation with her by myself. So we just stare at the now black screen; that had been switched off after the reapings finished.