Title: Couch
Spoilers: This takes place after Dodger, but references Unfinished Business too.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, just amusing myself.
Summary: Felicity wants a couch.
Author's note: Okay, so I haven't written fanfic or anything creative in years, but there is just something about Arrow that makes me want to dive back in. I love Oliver and Felicity together, but can't seem to write it right now, so lately I've been trying to write about how Team Arrow interacts, day to day life in the lair, if you will. Anyway, I actually wrote the first part of this after Dodger aired, but couldn't figure out how to end it and then last night's episode happened and inspiration. Let me know what you guys think!
"This lair needs a couch."
The sudden silence was Felicity's first indication that she had actually said what she had been thinking, the second clue being the response she got from Oliver and Diggle.
"Lair?"
"Couch?"
She whirled around to face the men who had obviously stopped training, hence the silence, and gave them what she hoped was a confident smile. There was no need for either one to know she hadn't meant to say that and she really did want a couch so maybe pressing the issue wasn't such a bad idea.
"Lair." repeated Oliver with raised eyebrows as Diggle struggled to hide a smile. The team dynamic between the three hadn't quite settled yet, but Felicity was beginning suspect that Diggle found her and Oliver rather entertaining at times.
"Well what would you call it?" She replied, watching as Oliver picked up a towel and started to walk over to her.
"Not a lair."
"Well someday you are going to have to name this place simply so you guys can say 'I'll meet you back at the lair or whatever.' But as I was saying-"
"Factory." Oliver glanced over his shoulder at Diggle for confirmation and received a shrug in response. "I think we say factory. And why do we need a couch?"
"Okay, so maybe the couch is more for me than you two, but I sit in a desk chair all day at work, and then come here to the 'factory' " She rolled her eyes to let Oliver know how much she liked that name, "and sit in a different desk chair while you two are training or out threatening people or whatever. And these chairs are comfortable for desk chairs, but a couch would be so much better. Besides at some point someone is going to wander down here and you need a reasonable excuse for this space existing." She paused her rambling argument for a minute to consider that last point which really had just popped into her head. Someone was going to find this place and then they would know Oliver was the vigilante. "Well that's not good."
"So now you don't want a couch?" Oliver asked making her realize she had again spoken internal thoughts aloud.
"No, I mean someone is going to find this place, especially if you ever open that nightclub upstairs. My bet is on your friend Tommy or Laurel or maybe even your sister. They'll see all of this," she waved a hand at the various pieces of training equipment, weapons, and computers, "and they'll know about your, ah, extracurricular activities. Unless they're really stupid."
"You are quite the little gambler with yourself," Oliver commented, "but I don't see how a couch will distract anyone enough to not notice all of this."
"Good point, but let's face it Oliver, you're a terrible liar when put on the spot, at least from what I've seen," she smiled sweetly to soften the blow, "so you need a story in place. Basically, you need to turn this place into a man cave."
"Man cave."
"I have always thought of this place as a cave." Diggle commented for the first time.
"You know 'man cave' where men go to hang out and do manly things...like watch football and play videogames and in your case workout so you can look like that." She forced herself not to dwell on Oliver's shirtless torso and instead gestured to various parts of the room to illustrate her point. "Right, so um, obviously the exercise equipment can stay. We can leave the computers and say that they also can monitor security upstairs. We put in a couch and chair or two to make a living area, maybe with an entertainment system, and hide the weapons in cabinets or maybe fake walls….You know I've always wanted those revolving walls that show up in Scooby Doo…So yeah, I think that should work. Man cave."
She turned her attention back to Oliver who was looking thoughtfully around the room.
Without thinking she added in a softer tone, "I mean, it makes sense in a way, that you would want an escape. You were on an island for five years. You need a place to get away from everyone and decompress. And exercise is a great stress release."
When Oliver turned back to her with a sharp look in his eyes, she almost regretted saying the last part, but couldn't stop one last comment from slipping out, "And the best lies, or covers in this case, always have an element of truth. Or at least that's what TV has led me to believe."
Oliver studied her for a moment. She really hated it when he did that, unsure of exactly what her face revealed to him. "Okay." He finally replied, "On two conditions. One, we don't actually call this place a man cave, ever."
"Done. And two?"
The stress in Oliver's expression eased and a hint of a smile played over his lips, "You agree to self defense lessons."
She sighed.
"With me," added Diggle. "Because Oliver isn't good at holding back. No offense."
"None taken." They both answered, still staring at each other.
"Fine." Felicity agreed, turning back to her computer to break away from his steady blue gaze. "Now let's look at some couches."
-Several weeks later-
"Man cave." Detective Lance's voice was laced with disbelief as he looked around, taking in the computer desk, workout equipment, and living area with a couch, recliner, coffee table and entertainment system.
When they had descended the stairs into the subbasement Oliver was relieved to see that Felicity wasn't behind the computer desk. A random IT girl in his sanctuary, which was what he was trying to convince Lance that this place was, would require extra explaining. He was also glad she wasn't around to hear him uttering the words 'man cave' even though her foresight was going to save his ass.
"It looks more like a place to hookup with girls from the club upstairs." The detective smirked.
"What?" Oliver stopped. He hadn't even considered that possibility. He tried to see the room from Lance's perspective, but even then it looked more comfortable than sleek and seductive. There was a clutter on practically every surface, including burger wrappers from last night's takeout. The forest green sofa and matching chair weren't stylish, but rather cozy with, according to Felicity, an optimal level of squishiness. In fact if anything in the room was seductive it was that couch. He could have sworn that Felicity moaned the first time she sat on it.
However, given the detective's point of view, Oliver had a decision to make. He really didn't want to reveal that much of himself to Lance, the fact that this place truly was his sanctuary, as Felicity in her rather scary direct manner had concluded all those weeks ago. Yet a little honesty might keep Lance off his back, and the man did know a few details about his time on the island.
"Look Detective, I know you won't believe me, but...I was on an island for five years and the things that happened there...affected me. I need a place to escape, to deal with everything. Alone. So I come here." Oliver was trying to be sincere; following Felicity's plan about mixing in truth and hoping it worked.
"You can search it if you like, but I would really appreciate it if no one knew about this place." Oliver added. He was glad that Tommy had somehow closed the door to the subbasement before the two officers that had accompanied Lance, and had been gawking at the empty club, could follow them down the stairs.
"So who knows this is here?" Lance asked.
"Just my bodyguard, Tommy, and a friend who helped set up the computers and surveillance for the club."
"A friend?"
"Felicity Smoak. She works in the IT department at Queen Consolidated."
"That would be the cute blond IT girl." Lance said smugly. "We interviewed her when your stepfather disappeared."
Oliver purposely didn't respond to what the detective was trying to imply. "Walter recommended her to me a couple of months ago when I was having trouble with my laptop. Apparently after five years technology and I are 'un-mixy things.' Her words."
"And you paid off the inspector to keep this room a secret?" The interrogation was quickly redirected to Tommy.
"Oliver's my best friend. I keep his secrets. " Tommy answered. "As he said, go ahead and look around. I also store some of our larger shipments of liquor down here." He pointed to a corner with several wooden crates.
Lance stared them both down, suspicious but also a little off balance, most likely due to the unprecedented level of honesty he was receiving. Then he shook his head, "Fine. I won't tell anyone. And I can't make the bribery charge stick, but if this happens again I won't be so considerate."
"Thank you Detective." Oliver didn't know whether he believed them or simply wanted to for Laurel's sake.
Tommy led Lance back up the stairs. Before the door closed Oliver could hear the detective tell the other officers that the subbasement was just a storage room. Finally alone, he let out a relieved breath. All things considered that hadn't gone too badly. He would have to tell Felicity that she was now on Lance's radar, something he regretted, but also something he knew she would be able to handle. He also felt the sudden urge to do something to thank her for the disaster they had just avoided.
Oliver grinned, maybe he would start calling this place a lair.
AN2: Second disclaimer: "un-mixy things" comes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer which I figure Felicity would have watched. I think it describes Buffy and cars.