"Captain… I love you…"
"You're inebriated, brat."
"No, I…"
"Sleep, will you? I'm out of here."
It's one of the chillier nights of winter when by looking outside you get shivers and the lightest breeze brings you physical pain. The barren trees struggle in the howling wind, endeavoring to protect their branches from violent blows. No stars are to be seen in the murky sky as the snow dashes in midair like a mad waltz. To the Survey Corps, the one nice fact about this torturous weather is that titans don't appear as often, perhaps because of the cold and a lack of sunlight. No titans means less work and fewer deaths; despite the brutality of such climate, they can't say they prefer fighting against humongous creatures that have eaten many of their friends. The only thing the soldiers are able to do now is stay home, preparing for another bloody spring to come. They can just rest and hope those giant beings don't reproduce profusely throughout the winter.
The bell chimes two o'clock in the morning. Everyone in the squad has gone to bed. Well, almost everyone, except for a certain couple of people.
The door creaks open and Eren walks in the room. Shooting a grin at his supervisor, he strolls to Levi's desk. The captain's gaze follows him. Levi is without a doubt unhappy, but doesn't like to open his mouth and converse. One simply does not smile away a greeting when you're with a superior, let alone coming to his room at such hour. Not even when you have with you hot tea and cookies.
"Captain, please drink your tea while it's hot."
It never fails to awe Levi, that lively spirit of the youth. He can fall asleep on this pile of documents any minute and Eren is still sober enough to prepare a hot beverage for him this late. Levi sighs, both in exhaustion of having had to read a terrifying amount of accounts and in irritation of Eren's enviable vigor. He moves a few files away to create space for his after-midnight snack. Eren puts down the tray and takes a few steps back, waiting instead of retreating to his own room. Perplexed by his subordinate but too tired to raise a question, Levi continues his job. As long as Eren doesn't plan to turn into a titan everything should be alright.
With eyes glued to words that no longer make sense, Levi reaches for the cup of tea and takes a sip. It's green tea with honey. Ah, that's a bit disappointing. He was expecting a different kind of tea since Eren has been in his room, seemingly anticipating something. In that case, he doesn't remain here for his reaction to another flavor of tea? Levi then tries a cookie - same old plain type, nothing new. Suspicion arises in him. He turns to Eren, who's looking at him with the most attention. What is he plotting?
"Brat, is there something you want from me?" Levi starts first.
"O-Oh, um… Can I help you with anything, Captain?" Eren stumbles.
"No. Tell me your real intention," says Levi.
"I… Eh… Um… I just…" Eren attempts to explain, but the fear occupying him is restraining the words in his throat.
"Speak! Did I teach you to stutter like that?" Levi demands.
"No, Captain, no!" Eren straightens his posture. It's just Levi. He's been with the captain for a few years, he should be used to confronting him, so what the hell is with the trembling?
"Then spit it out!"
"I-It's nothing, Captain!"
Levi is losing patience. Being a man in his early thirties isn't easy, especially when surrounding him are teenagers who act before they think about the consequences. Also, since Erwin has some "important duty" to do Levi's left with both his and Erwin's paper work. He bets that's just an excuse. If not Ewrin would have at least told him what it is. That fucking old man. And now not only does Levi have to go over a mountain of reports, which is, as much as he doesn't want to admit, even taller than him, he has this goddamn titan shifter who can't talk like a normal human being. Wait, second thought, he is not normal, anyway. Levi throws the deadliest glare at Eren before grabbing a pen and writing on the paper.
"Fine. Then go to bed, brat."
"I w-will stay here until you're done, Captain."
Levi sends Eren the most incredulous glance. He doesn't recall the brat being this clingy. Usually Levi will beat him up, but given his current energy level of below zero, it'll be a tough task. He needs some training again soon before his body gets accustomed to inactivity. Levi clicks his tongue.
"Alright. If you're not up before six I'll smash you and feed you to the horses."
"Yes, Captain!"
Levi carries on scribbling with an Eren not too far away from him, studying him attentively like how Hange would drool over a captured titan. It creeps Levi out a bit at first, but he's used to people scrutinizing him. Outside, the unceasing cry of nature has turned to something similar to a cryptic call of an undefined beast. The wind bangs on the window of Levi's room as if it's longing to get in. Some tree limbs can't make it and break apart, hitting the walls of the house.
"Fucking noisy," mumbles Levi.
Eren swallows in silence. Why is he here again? Oh, right, to clarify his relationship with Levi. Eren's confessed to him, but hasn't received a reply yet. It's been a week, and he doesn't know if he should give up or keep his hopes. Visiting Levi while others are sleeping to guarantee no disturbance, bringing him tea and cookies to lift up the mood, all the preparations are done. It's up to Eren to begin the conversation and he's sweating like mad and the words are trapped in his body and they're screaming like the wilderness out there and fuck he just wants Levi to know how serious he is about this relationship. Yet he can't help but be scared. Is he brave enough to hear the answer? What if Levi says no? What if he thinks Eren's a pervert?
"I can't do any crap in this noise-polluted environment." Levi stands up and gathers the scattering papers into a wad. "I'll finish this when the storm goes away. You can go to your room, Eren."
"Do it, Eren. It's now or never. You chose this stormy night because other people wouldn't be able to eavesdrop on your conversation. There won't be a second chance." The thought runs across Eren's mind. "Right, I have to do this. The answer will be either yes or no. And I can be at ease after that. Maybe."
"Captain." Eren says, firmly.
"What?"
"Have you… um… consider my confession from last week?"
"? Hm…? Oh, right. That." Levi tilts his head. "When Hange got you intoxicated to see if alcohol worked on you. You lost your shit and rambled about all sorts of stuff while I was dragging you back. Didn't think you were for real."
"No! I was sober at the time!" Eren denies with all his might. "I pretended to be drunk to get away from her experiment. Everything I said that night I meant it, Captain! I love you! Please go out with me!"
"No," Levi deadpans.
"Wha- Why, Captain?"
"You're nineteen, Eren. You know no shit about life. You might think this is love, but a few months after you'll look back and realize it isn't. And I don't have time to play around with a fickle teenager." Levi gets out of his seat and heads towards the bed. "Now get out and evaluate your life choice."
"I'm being honest, Captain! Please, can't you at least give me a chance to prove it?" Eren pleads. He's been holding it in for years now; he's not going to give up that easily!
"Alright then. Prove it, now." Levi stares at Eren as he crosses his arm.
"I'm sorry?"
"Prove it. Prove that you love me." Levi demands. He sits on the bed, facing a standing Eren who's baffled by the order.
"My apology for being slow, but what do you mean, Captain?" Eren asks back, unsure of how to respond.
"I'm old and grumpy and excessively picky about everything. And Petra must have told you a shitload of other annoying things that I do too. You're a young, good-looking, and decent brat. Don't you think it's a bit not worth it spending your time with someone like me? You deserve better-"
"Please don't say that, Captain!" Eren approaches Levi and kneels down, holding his hands. "If it's Captain then everything is worth it! I can spend my entire life cleaning your shoes and I won't regret anything. And what the hell is 'deserve better?' That phrase should be from my mouth! You're Captain Levi, you're humanity's strongest, you're utterly phenomenal and extraordinary, you're everything a man can aspire to be, what do you mean I deserve better? Standing next to you brings me joy talking to you brings me joy working for you brings me joy fighting with you brings me joy being with you is a blessing to me, I mean, I don't need a happy and peaceful life? I don't need wealth? I don't need fame? I just want you? Because you're not just my world you're my goddamn universe? Because you're the blood that I need so desperately for my existence? Because you're the bones that I rely on so hopelessly to carry me? Because you're that only ray of light that I find and hold onto so tightly? Because I fucking love you so fucking much? Why would you say something like that, Captain? I've been with you and loved you for years and never once has my love for you subdued. I love everything about you, even the littlest. The way you worry about your comrades. The way you got mad when Commander Smith let your men die in vain. The way you scold Leader Hange because of her carelessness with titans. The way you appreciate every sacrifice humankind has made. The way you tend the animals. The way you contemplate the scenery outside the walls. The way you value the precious short time we spend together in temporary peace. The way you conceal how much you care. Should I regret loving such an amazing person? No, I love you, and I believe it's the best decision of my life. If you're an angel I'll follow you to heaven. If you're a demon I'll go to hell with you. Fuck it I love you so much I don't care what people say I fucking love you I love you love you love you love you love you I can't fathom how much I love you this universe isn't big enough to contain my love for you I love you so much it hurts, Captain. I love you. I truly, deeply, madly do."
Eren ends the monologue in tears as he lets go one of Levi's hands to wipe his face. He fucked up. He fucked up so much. Levi hates it when people talk about his soft sides. And there he went babbling about everything he notices his captain has been hiding. He's not good with words, either. How many times did he offend Levi with that rant? Then he ends up crying like a baby. But what else can he say? He just loves him, a lot, and he's so confused he doesn't know what to do. He loses all senses and his vocabulary now consists of merely "I love you" and "captain," words that he recites endlessly.
"I love you, Captain. I love you, I love you I love you..." The words are mixed with hiccups and blended in tears, and Eren keeps repeating them until they become muffled, a mess, an endearing mess.
It takes a while for Levi to comprehend what Eren's expressed, and he'd by lying if that didn't shock him to the extent that he was speechless, only pulled back to earth by Eren's warmth leaving both of his hands. He looks at the boy in awe. He can under no circumstances imagine himself being loved so deeply and sincerely, and here's Eren bursting into tears because he loves him just that much.
"The brat has grown, hasn't he."
Levi reaches out to a sobbing Eren, cupping his soaking wet face. Eren is taken aback by the action, and gapes at Levi in surprise. Using his thumbs to dry the tears, Levi smiles softly at Eren. He draws nearer to the boy and his lips brush Eren's.
"…You're a fucking drama queen, brat."
Eren's aware of a different aspect to Levi, but this tenderness is an entire new experience that he's more than ready to go through until the end of time.
"C-Captain! Does that mean yes?"
"…" Levi avoids meeting eyes with Eren and lies down, facing the wall, as he pulls up his blanket. "It's a long way back to your room. You can join me if you want."
"CAPTAIN! I LOVE YOU!"
No hesitance in taking the invitation, Eren climbs on the bed and sneaks under the blanket. He puts one arm over the other's waist as he snuggles his nose into Levi's hair, breathing in the distinct scent that only Levi has and God does he smell good. Even though the response from Levi was vague, but it was definitely a yes. Oh how long has he dreamed of properly touching that lithe figure and running his fingers through that smooth hair and stroking that pale skin and Jesus fucking Christ don't even get him started on the delicate lips the majestic nose the penetrating eyes the adorable ears the seducing nape the wonderful everything that belongs to Levi. Shaking from happiness, Eren breathes on Levi's back continuous "I love you's" as he drifts off to Neverland, dreaming about his future life with Levi.
Little does he know, in Eren's embrace, Levi has gently mouthed, "Me too, Eren. Me too."