Night Path
Summary: Happily married to Jack for many years now, Sam reflects back on those first few weeks of marriage and how they sorted out the more intimate side of their relationship. Not a full squeal to "Cast Your Fate to The Wind" but from that same 'verse. (Sam/Jack)
Warnings/spoilers: None
A/N: Thanks to supplyship for saying "everyone does have a 'first time' you know!" and making me feel like I shouldn't hide this ficlet in shame forever and ever. Also a big thank you to the fastest beta in the wild west, ziparumpazoo :)

Sam changed the linens in their bedroom, and perhaps because Jack hadn't been home the last several nights, or maybe because their anniversary was approaching, her thoughts turned to the intimate side of their relationship.

Looking back now, Sam could admit to herself that on her wedding night she was… maybe not nervous… unsure what was to be expected. She knew a few details, some of them from Lady Langford, but also from Janet who, two days before the wedding, pulled Sam aside for a talk.

Now, many years later, Sam knew all about the things that happened between a man and his wife, and reflecting back, she must admit it had gone reasonably well that first time. Jack had been kind and patient with her, whispering that she should just relax. She'd returned his kisses, held on to him, and when the time came, it didn't hurt as much as Janet had warned it might. But it did feel very uncomfortable having something invade her body in such a way.

After, Jack lay there for a moment, and Sam assumed it was all over. Until he turned to her and began touching her body again. Kissing her, he said, "When it doesn't happen for you during, I will make sure it does afterward."

She didn't understand his words at the time, the way his fingers touched her in the most intimate way possible was perhaps to blame for being otherwise distracted.

Sam remembered that when his fingers brought her to her peak, she was shocked her body was capable of such a thing. How could she have been alive more than two decades and have no idea that something like that was possible?

She was never again nervous, and over the weeks and months that passed, they had settled into a routine at night. At first, it was a comfort for her; she knew exactly what would happen and in what order. It allowed her to relax and enjoy her new husband.

Sam was just beginning to feel the routine was perhaps wearing on her. That maybe knowing what to expect had led to any newness and excitement wearing off, not that she'd ever reveal these thoughts to Jack. Then one night, he told her to turn over and rise on her hands and knees, and if Sam thought she knew what her body was capable of feeling, she'd discovered there were lessons to be had. It was one of those times when there was certainly no need for his fingers afterward.

When they finished, he held her. It was a new moon that night so she never saw it, but she suspected there were tears in his eyes for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and said, "I swear to you, I will never again treat you like you are nothing more than a common…. Sam, please forgive me."

The next night when Jack returned to their normal routine, Sam refused to allow herself to be disappointed. After all, she had far too many blessings, including her loving husband, to feel anything less than grateful for what she had.

Sam had been taught that she was to submit to her husband, that a wife should allow him to take his pleasure from her. That she should never make any request, nor deny him his right to take from her what he wanted. She had every intention of following that. Until one night, when his attentions had her so mindless that she turned and lifted herself in that way he'd once demanded. She hadn't been thinking about what she was doing, until she caught a look of anguish cross his face.

"No, Sam."

She lay down on her side, embarrassed and confused, and for the moment her desire for her husband was lost. "But you…"

"I know what you were probably taught. But I… I don't want things to be like that between us."

"I thought you liked it?"

"But you cried out. I refuse to be that sort of man. This will always be mutual between us, do you understand, Sam?"

She repeated his words, "I cried out," her mind needing to hear it spoken aloud again in order to process it. She didn't recall crying. Every memory she had was of joy and exhilaration, of release, and of love.

"No matter what anyone has told you," Jack continued, "if you are too tired, or otherwise unwilling, you can always tell me. I won't do something that… Sam, how could I possibly enjoy it, knowing you are not?"

"But I did," Sam replied.

"You… what?"

"I did enjoy it. I don't recall crying out. I was rather…" She blushed. Though she was getting better at speaking of these sorts of topics with him, occasionally there was that old part of her that would begin screaming that this was inappropriate. She'd have to remind herself all over again that she was properly married and such topics were no longer forbidden.

"I liked it," she admitted softly. "Very much so."

"Then you cried out in…" The expression on Jack's face changed. He pulled her close, and if Sam was not mistaken, a bit of a silent chuckle came from her husband. "All this time, I've been afraid of frightening you."

"It seems to me, you've also been treating me like a fine piece of crystal. Like I might break."

"Sam." He kissed her, just a quick peck. "You are finer than crystal."

"But you should've learned long before now that I don't break easily."

"No, you do not." He ran a finger down the curve of her cheek. "You don't like it when I am so careful with you?"

"I do like it. But if there's more than one way, I want to try."

He gave her a smirk. "Of course you do."

A short time later, when her husband gasped and said, "You'll be the death of me, woman." Sam knew they'd sorted it all out.