An Improbable Sitch, a kim possible fanfic

Disclaimer: Not mine, never were.

A/N: Written for Jenivi7 as part of the Boiz and Gurlz ficlet-request meme on LiveJournal. She requested a YGO/Kim Possible crossover featuring Yuugi and Shego. Please do NOT tell me this is not long enough or not a real fic. It is a ONE SHOT and intended to be only a snippet of a possible situation that might occur if these two universes interacted.

An Improbable Sitch

Shego filed her nails and inspected them critically. As always, her handiwork was perfect, like everything she did. Dr. Drakken liked to think he demanded perfection from his workers, but of those on his limited payroll only Shego demanded it of herself. Only she achieved it, too.

"Um, hello?"

She rolled her eyes.

"How long are you planning to keep me here?"

Satisfied her nails would only suffer from more attention, Shego pocketed the file and leaned so far back in her chair she could see the cage upside down. It was suspended above a so-called bottomless pit, though the pit was just for effect since the bars were a reinforced titanium alloy even her claws would need a couple of goes to cut through. Little hands clutched two of these bars and a little face peered through them at her.

"Look, kid, there's no point trying the puppy-dog-eyes routine with me. Personally, I couldn't care less whether you're in or out of that cage, but Dr. D wants you in and he pays my salary, so boom, in you go and in you stay. How long you stay? Anybody's guess. It all depends on what Dr. D wants you for." She arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow. The kid was a runt with no obvious talents or powers. Kidnapping him had been as easy as jump, grab, and run – a textbook operation with no freebies to make things more interesting.

"What does he want me for?" The kid's voice didn't quiver, though Shego picked up on the minuscule tics that betrayed his nervousness – the squeak of sweaty palms against metal, infinitesimal acceleration of breathing, a background thump of his pulse quickening. Her powers stretched to more than just slashing and burning stuff, though that was all she usually required of them. Things were much less complicated than they had been when she was with Team Go.

The kid was also asking the type of questions that told her this wasn't the first time he'd been captured, though before he'd obviously known the reason. That intrigued her. What had changed that Drakken's kidnap wasn't so blindingly obvious?

"Got me." She shrugged and slid forward in her chair so she could no longer see him. "Probably some take-over-the-world scheme."

"Excuse me?"

"You deaf?"

"No, it's just … you say it like it's no big deal."

She shrugged again. "This is the … meh, I lost count around the hundredth time he tried to take over the world. As you can tell, his track record isn't exactly brilliant, so you probably don't have much to worry about it – especially if Kimmie-cub arrives to rescue you."

"Who?"

"Kim Possible." Shego blinked and actually turned in her seat. "The Kim Possible."

The kid shook his head. "Sorry, I don't know who that is."

"Wow. I thought everybody knew Kimmie." Shego shook her head. "You wacky Japanese. You probably have your own version of her you watch on TV instead, right?"

Of course, she spoke fluent Japanese herself since stealing the prototype Lingo Chip from STAR Labs a few months back. It hadn't been a mission for Dr. Drakken – on the contrary, things had been slow on the job front and she'd devised her own excursions to keep herself sharp. Her quarters were littered with the fruits of her labours, as was her Swiss bank account. The Lingo Chip was especially useful in helping set up further jobs without the hindrance of a language barrier. No way was she letting Dr. D get his sweaty mitts on this baby. He'd doubtless lose, swallow or break it – possibly all at the same time – and she'd be back to using the crude international communication of a green fist and a kick to the crotch to make herself understood.

"Wait … is that the Kim Possible who once saved Nakasumi Industries?" the kid asked with sudden urgency.

"Yup."

"And she might be coming to rescue me?"

"Most likely. She's usually the one to screw up the Doc's plans – unless he does it himself, of course. He's good at that."

"Wow," he breathed, falling back from the bars with a glazed expression. "Nakasumi Industries made a load of my favourite games. Mr. Nakasumi invented Z-Boy and the Z-Boy video games!"

"Bully for you." Shego had no time for games other people made. It was much more fun to invent her own.

"Um … this might seem like a random question, but your boss, the man who ordered for me to be kidnapped … did he mention anything about a puzzle?"

Shego flipped her hair. She was using a new conditioner and wasn't happy with the amount of body it gave her. "Nope. Something about a pendant, though." Truthfully, Drakken's words had all blurred together after the initial 'steal small boy from his bedroom in tiny nondescript Japanese town with silly name'. He'd gone off on another of his gloating rant thingies and at the time she'd had the theme to Friends stuck in her head so, really, it was understandable why she hadn't been paying attention. He rarely said anything of any value after initial instructions, anyway.

Where was Drakken, anyway? He'd been gone for ages and Shego was getting bored playing babysitter.

"Oh … poop."

"Poop?" Shego snickered. "That's the best cuss you can come up with, kid? You're a real goody-two-shoes, aren't you? Even bigger than Kimmie-cub. At least I can get a 'damn' out of her if I push hard enough." She leaned her elbows on the back of her chair and surveyed him, twisting her waist in a way she knew made her look extra sexy. Another reason why being a bad guy was so much more rewarding – good guys had to be morally upstanding and righteous, bad guys could think about how to make their curves look good on CCTV. "So why 'poop'?"

"If he was after my pendant, I'm afraid he's too late. It's buried somewhere in the Egyptian desert and if he wanted what was inside it … well, he was too late for that, too. It was empty when I lost it."

"Aaand you're worried he's gonna be mad when he finds out."

"No. Well, yes, but I'm more worried my friends are going to try and save me from this place and get hurt, and it'll all be for no reason."

"Pfft. Yeah, right." The file on this kid had been slim, but Shego could tell from the group she'd seen when smashing through the window to grab the little starfish-head, his friends weren't a viable threat to someone like Dr. Drakken – or her. "Worry about yourself, kid. I'd say it's a shame for Dr. D when he finds out you don't have what he's looking for, but actually it's a shame for you, since he's probably gonna be pissed enough to toss you into the pit."

The kid's eyes widened. He glanced down through the criss-crossed bars that formed the bottom of the cage and shuffled around like moving into a corner would help. He had weirdly wide eyes anyway, so this had the effect of making him look like a character from one of those dumb imported cartoons. Shego hated those. The good guys always won and the bad guys were pathetically inept – which wouldn't bother her but they also had pathetically bad fashion sense and Dr. D learned all sorts of bad habits from them.

"He'd really do something like that?"

"Sure. Guys who plan to take over the world by force don't generally care about the feelings of others." She gave a wicked smile and enjoyed the way it made the kid squirm. Just for effect, she ignited one fist and watched his eyes trace its path as she lazily waved it back and forth. "Or maybe he'll just give you to me to take care of. I can think of lots of ways to off you. Did you know it takes only a few pounds of pressure to crack a person's skull open from the inside?"

Something metallic creaked and squealed. A metal grate dropped out of the ceiling and an all-too-familiar figure rappelled inside the lair. "That's sick and wrong even for you, Shego."

"Kimmie-cub." Shego clapped her hands. Maybe this day wouldn't be a total waste after all.

Kim Possible, teen hero extraordinaire, frowned like a kindergartener with no pudding. "I hate it when you call me that."

"Yeah, it completely destroys the whole gravitas of the hero-nemesis thing if you call her by a cute pet name – yaargh!" Kim's sidekick, the blonde boy with no upper body strength, got halfway down his rope before tangling his own feet and tumbling the rest of the way. He dangled by one ankle until Kim yanked the knotted rope free and he landed in a heap. "Sorry, KP. Didn't mean to ruin our heroic entrance."

"You just take care of Yuugi Mutou. I'll deal with Shego."

"She knows my name," the caged kid breathed. "Wow, Mr. Nakasumi's rescuer knows my name…"

Shego ignited her other hand and stood on the back of her chair. Her powers lit the cave interior with a soft green glow like an alien Girl Scouts' campfire. "Just the way I like it," she purred, working the kinks from her neck. A fight with Kimmie always promised a good workout. She'd noticed she was packing some weight on her thighs recently and there was nothing better for getting rid of excess chub than kicking someone repeatedly in the head. "I'm so gonna kick your ass, sweet-cheeks."

"Stop calling me stuff like that!" Kim snapped, launching herself forward with a snap-kick that Shego could admire even as she grabbed Kimmie's foot and twirled her around to throw at the wall.

"Sure thing, jitterbug."

Kim landed feet first and used the power of Shego's throw to leap back at her, fist drawn back. Shego leapt to meet her and they traded blows in mid air for a few seconds before retreating to opposite sides of the room. They met again at ground level. Kim closed the distance fast, driving multiple short, sharp punches at Shego's midsection. They avoided the ribs, aiming instead for the solar plexus to knock Shego's wind out of her without breaking any bones and potentially puncturing a lung. That was always Kimmie's biggest weakness, Shego thought as she backhanded the girl so hard she rolled all the way to the vacant chair and wrapped around it; she was never vicious enough to win one of these fights.

This was what she was thinking when the door blew off its hinges and a guy in a long white coat strode in. Shego's head snapped up, recognising the figures behind him. "What the f-"

"Yuugi!" the girl with the hideous brunette bouffant cried, trying to rush forward until Trench Coat Guy stopped her.

"You have no way of understanding how annoyed I am right now." He spoke with a vague accent, but the clipped tone of a businessman used to conversing in English. He glared right at Shego and Kim, narrowing eyes the colour of a winter sky at them. "These idiots have made my life a misery to make me come here and rescue this pretender," he inclined his head towards the cage, where Kimmie's sidekick was trying to free the kid by rattling the bars. "Understandably I am looking for something on which to take my frustration out. I suggest you don't urn yourself into that something."

Shego drew herself up tall. Where did this Goth-wannabe get off, coming in here and giving her orders? Her fists still flaming, she fell into another combat stance and flicked her fingers at him. "Bring it on, buddy. I'm just itching to give someone a good hiding today."

"Shego!" For the first time she noticed the other two tall boys holding onto a struggling Drakken. "Assist me, Shego! Unhand me you blithering, bothersome cretins. Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Nope. Now shut up. I'm watching the hot chick in green."

Trench Coat Guy didn't smirk. He didn't even frown. He just pushed a button on a contraption strapped to his wrist and pointed it at her. It glowed ... and suddenly Shego wished she'd paid more attention to the games of others.

Fin.