Obviously
AN: I'm kind of surprised that no one seemed to notice this possibility but me. I thought someone might have, as it is kind of obvious. I guess people like bashing Artemis up over the blackmail.
Oneshot for now. Maybe I'll make it longer later.
And no, I don't own Artemis Fowl.
Captain Holly Short stepped into the office and saluted, "Reporting as requested, Commander Kelp."
Trouble Kelp looked up from his paperwork and nodded, "Close the door and have a seat, Holly. We have a lot to discuss."
His tone of voice suggesting she wouldn't like what he had to say, Holly did so nervously. She was already on thin ice with Internal Affairs, and always had been since Hamburg for that matter. She was used to interrogations from people who were supposedly on her side, except for Trouble. He had been her combat instructor in the Academy, and there was a good reason why he was the Commander now.
In fact, if it wasn't for him smelling a rat, Ark Stool would be sitting in the chair across from her right now instead.
"I've read the report from IA, Captain," Trouble said. "I have to admit, I'm very impressed with how well you handled things. You might also be pleased to know that the Hamburg Incident will blotch Internal Affairs now instead of you, thanks to your testimony."
Holly's ears perked up, "Sir?"
"Security at Tara was their responsibility at the time, and they let someone steal a LEP officer's equipment," he chuckled. "If they had done their job, you would have had your omnitool, and the Hamburg Incident never would have happened."
"That's a relief," she sighed. Then her gut lurched. "What about Mulch?"
"We had N°1 examine him mentally, to be safe," Trouble answered. "Opal killed his memories, so he doesn't remember anything between stealing the omnitool and ending up in a shuttle after he dropped you two off. It's a big blank that can't even be recovered, like getting hit on the head and going into a coma. After we told him that Koboi did it to him, he told us to drop it because he didn't think he'd want to remember anyway."
She sighed in relief again, though this time for other reasons. "Is that all, Commander?"
Trouble's face hardened, "No, Captain. Although IA has no say over it, your report does have a few holes in it, which is surprising and suspicious due to how detailed the rest of it is. You told IA it had no impact on your mission, which is obviously true. But as your commanding officer, I need to know in case it affects your performance."
Holly felt the nervousness return, "Sir, it won't affect my performance at all."
"Take off your glove and give me your arm, Captain," he ordered. Holly winced, knowing what was coming next. It was an interrogation technique that only three people in the LEP could do correctly, and Trouble Kelp was the only one allowed to use it. It was painful, but caused no physical damage, allowing it to slip past regulations on interrogations. She gave him her arm, palm turned upward. He placed his on top of hers, his thumb and middle finger on either side of her wrist between the bones, and his index finger on her pule point.
Mouth suddenly dry, Holly swallowed as she tried to stay calm. This technique allowed him to feel her pulse rate and study her eyes and face as she responded to his questions. One hint of a lie, and he would squeeze his middle finger and thumb together, triggering a two-sided pressure point that would send pain up her arm.
"You remember this, correct?" he asked. She nodded. "You remember that you broke your combat partner's nose in class, and tried to cover it up by saying he tripped and landed on the floor face first. Do you remember what I told you then?"
"That I was a very bad liar, Sir," she answered.
"So, what happened in the gorilla cage that you left out?"
"Nothing," she said automatically, and then cringed as he squeezed his fingers.
"Nice try, Captain," Trouble shook his head. "But I'm smarter than that, and you should know better."
"It's personal, Trouble. Can we drop it?" she begged.
"No," he answered, squeezing for effect. "You're also blushing, which tells me something happened."
Gritting her teeth in frustration, she stood up leaned over, and yelled in his face, "I kissed him, okay! I kissed Artemis Fowl, and it doesn't even matter anymore because he confessed to blackmailing me while we were waiting for Mulch outside Tara with the Mini Cooper and I told him his elf-kissing days are over! You happy now?"
Trouble let go of her hand, "There you go, Captain. Now was that so hard? Please, sit back down."
She did so, red faced from anger and embarrassment. There was no way she was going to live this down, not when it came to Trouble Kelp. "What's my punishment?" she muttered.
He raised an eyebrow, "Punishment, Holly? I don't think that's what you need right now. Besides, I couldn't punish you anyway, though I am disappointed about your reaction to Fowl's confession."
Now Holly was confused, "What do you mean?"
"It was a poor reason to dump him so early."
"He didn't trust me, Commander!" Holly was standing again as she continued to rant, "He blackmailed me! How can I trust him when he throws our friendship away like that?"
Now Trouble glared at her, "I will overlook your first two outbursts due to the stress you are obviously under, but if you do so again, you will be penalized, Captain. Now sit!"
On reflex, she did just that, her anger vanishing and being replaced by fear. The last time Trouble used that tone with another officer, said officer was stripped of their badge.
"Captain Holly Short, you are an excellent officer, someone who should have been promoted years ago if we didn't need you so bad on surface missions," Trouble said slowly. "Artemis Fowl is as smart and knowledgeable as you are quick on your feet and loyal to your virtues...
"...but you are both utter idiots!"
Holly started, shocked, and slightly offended at Trouble's declaration. She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her by holding up his hand.
"Think, Captain. Think for just a moment," he said. "You're good at thinking on your feet, but you need to not let your emotions run away with you this time. Fowl is smart, but he's sometimes too smart for his own good, overlooking obvious facts because he considers them to be obvious. He also cares more about you and trusts you more than you give him credit for. Why else would he have told you he blackmailed you? Why else would he have blackmailed you in the first place?"
"What do you mean?" Holly asked, now even more confused.
Trouble sighed in frustration, "Holly, as a LEP officer, if you had helped him just because he asked, if he hadn't blackmailed you, where would you be right now?"
Then she did think about it, hard. The more she thought about it, the wider her eyes got, and the more guilt twisted her insides. "Oh, Frond..." she tried to say.
"That about sums it up," Trouble said. "Internal Affairs would have had you on several charges, including Aiding and Abetting, Illegal Time Travel, and whatever else they would have cooked up from having Koboi hijack your time tunnel. Instead of sitting here in front of me right now, you'd be on the next shuttle to Howler's Peak, and not as a guard transfer, but an inmate."
Holly suddenly felt small, very small. "I always hated 'bimbo's', but I acted like a bitch."
"I wouldn't say you were that bad, but you were pretty darn close," Trouble said. "Lucky for you, you can make up for your mistake, though I wish it were under better circumstances." Holly's ears tingled, but she stayed silent, waiting for him to explain. "Your vacation is canceled. Koboi escaped."
Leaning forward, Holly began banging her head against the edge of the desk. Trouble patiently waited for her to finish venting, counting the number of times her head and his desk connected.
...ten, eleven, twelve,...
After the twentieth time, she stopped. "D'Arvit," she muttered. "How does that help me patch things up anyway?"
"Cheer up, Holly. You'll like this," Trouble smiled. He opened a drawer on his desk and pulled out a new acorn badge and a file folder, handing them to her. "You're being promoted. You, Major Short, are now in charge of a special ops squad assigned to protect Fowl Manor. We've managed to pull out all the stops, mostly thanks to a proposition that has been waiting for the Council's approval since you were lost in Hybras. You'll have full clearance to everything, including Section 8 and the Council Archives. One third of your team will be above ground at all times, with the other two thirds on standby down here to cycle with the others, bring up equipment, or reinforce you on a moments notice. All the details are in that file."
Holly stared at the new rank in shock, "This is... Trouble, I … Thank you, Commander." This was more than a promotion. This put her one level short of being Wing Commander of her own division.
"There is one more incentive," he said, his smile growing broader. "If all goes well, your team will form the base of a new division in the LEP: Contact Recon, and you will be one of the two Co-Commanders of the division."
"Co-Commander?" she asked.
"You'll have a human partner with you, most likely Artemis Fowl, but that's only if things go well," Trouble explained. "It was Foaly's idea, not long after you disappeared. He argued that since they had already been discovered by two humans, more would more likely follow, even if it took another 100 years. Rather than constantly worrying about discovery, we can start preparing for the time when we will be discovered by improving any relationships we have now and in the future, increasing the chance of a peaceful merging of our societies."
"Stool didn't like that, did he?" Holly chuckled.
"Oh no he didn't. He fought it the whole way. Even Fowl's Hybras calculations couldn't provide us with enough leverage. It took Foaly some digging around until he discovered that the People started the war in the first place by denying Humans any representation on Frond's Council before we could break down Stool's arguments."
Holly's eyebrows shot up, "I didn't know that."
"Not many people do," Trouble agreed. "Apparently, it was need-to-know classified, and the only one in Haven who did know at the time was Stool himself. Quite an embarrassment for him, and enough to convince the Council to bench it until a better opportunity arrived.
"That opportunity is now. You leave for the Manor in 12 hours, so you had best get packed up. The second Opal decides to make a move, she will most likely target Fowl Manor, so we need you up there ASAP. Foaly will send up drones and sensors in 24 hours to stop any missiles or bio-bombs she might cook up, just in case."
Nodding, she got up to leave, and then paused, "Trouble, does Artemis know yet?"
"No, not yet," he answered.
A mischievous grin spread across Holly's face as she slyly said, "Don't tell him."
Trouble returned her smile, "Obviously. Make sure you get a recording."
Holly promised him she would.