Max kicked the leaves on the sidewalk as she passed by, her head down. It was an odd thing for her to do, but she had grown used to it lately. Her usual oozing self-confidence was lacking a little, replaced by shyness and anger. It was a gorgeous day, and the sun was out. But it might as well have been raining, so it would at least match the way she felt.
He was gone. She kicked up the leaves again.
Taking a deep breath, Max stopped walking and looked up at the sky. Almost as if on cue, a raven flew across the sky. It's wing were dark, glinting almost purple in the sunlight –
Max blinked. Of course. She was going to kill Fang for making her like this. Everything she saw reminded her of him. Everything she heard. Everything she felt. Everything. And even though she would never admit it out loud, it tore at her.
Max checked her watch, and swore out loud. It was getting late. Her flock needed her. She quickly folded the stack of papers in her hand and stuffed them in her hoodie pocket.
Taking a quick glance around her and checking for any people, Max whipped off her windbreaker and took to the sky. She was only a few blocks away from Dr. Martinez's house, but she really didn't feel like walking.
When she was within a mile of the house, Max purposely tried to think of happy, normal thoughts. No need to upset Angel. When she landed in the yard, she plastered a fake smile on her face and walked in.
"Max!" Nudge grinned, calling from the kitchen table where her and Gazzy were playing Go Fish.
"Hey, Nudge."
Max walked over to study Nudge and Gazzy's game. Nudge was winning. Gazzy was cheating. Max saw him and Angel sharing glances with one another, and assumed that Angel was giving him some 'hints' about Nudge's cards. She cocked a suspicious eyebrow at Angel, who was playing with Total across the room, and the little almost-8-year-old giggled.
Max could hear Iggy and Ella out on the back porch, just talking. Her mom was out buying groceries to feed her newly-full house.
Dylan was taking a nap on the couch, and Magnolia was lapping his cheek while he slept. Ahh, the little things.
It had been almost a year. Everyone else seemed to be adapting to having one less flock member. Everyone except Max.
Sure, during those first few months Max had walked in someone's room on more than one occasion and seen them crying. They missed him. She missed him. Being without him was like flying with only one wing. Her best friend was gone.
Max hadn't cried. Not once. The tears had threatened to break free that first night as she read and reread that letter over and over again, holding it to her chest until daylight.
When the daylight came, she steeled herself. She folded up the letter and put it at the bottom of her backpack. She wasn't going to cry over this. She had to be strong for her flock.
Truth be told, Max missed him too much for words.
That was so out of character for her. Maximum Ride never admitted to being weak or needing help. But she needed him, so much. She needed him to feel whole herself.
She needed him because she loved him.
And this – living without her best friend, moving on as if he never even existed – was killing her.
Sitting down in the loveseat, Max studied this scene in front of her. She propped her head in her hands. She felt like crying. She blinked rapidly, and her throat got tight. Before she knew it, a small hand was holding hers. Max looked down. It was Angel.
I miss him, too, Max, She said in her mind. We all do.
Angel's big blue eyes were concerned and honest. It had to be hard to see someone like a mother being so upset. Max smiled a little and pulled Angel close.
No one else noticed this little exchange. Max heard the undeniable sound of her mother's SUV pulling up the driveway.
"It's fine, baby," she said softly. "We'll be okay." She hugged Angel to her.
"We will be," Angel smiled. It sounded as if she knew something that Max didn't. Then, she patted Max's head and walked back to where Total was waiting expectantly for his belly to be rubbed.
Max was confused. What did Angel know? But before she had time to think about it, her mother walked in the door carrying a few bags of groceries.
"Hey, guys," Dr. Martinez said, dropping the bags on the counter.
"Food!" Gazzy yelled, attacking the bags. Iggy and Ella came back inside from the porch, and Max noticed they were holding hands. Ella smiled at her Mom.
Max couldn't stand the happy atmosphere. Her eyes were glued to Iggy and Ella's hands. Her heart lurched painfully, her mind already miles away, back to a time when Fang used to hold her hand like that.
Her mom met her eyes, knowing something was wrong. She gave Max a questioning look.
"I'll be in my room," she said stiffly. Then she bolted up to her bedroom and slammed the door.
I am going to kill him, Max thought for the millionth time that year. Why would he do this to her? She would rather be in danger with him here, than be "safe" with him gone. He knew that. He had to be insane. Didn't he care that his stupid letter ripped her heart out? Didn't all those years depending on each other mean anything to him? Didn't he realize after the Flock broke up for the first time that they needed each other?
Max swore that whenever she saw him again, she would strangle him. Then somehow bring him back to life and kiss him with everything she had.
But Fang wasn't an idiot. Normally. He had a reason for leaving, and he wouldn't have left unless he felt it was extremely, extremely important. He had made it clear in his letter that he didn't want her to talk to him. That he would always want to come back.
If only.
Max had no way of knowing if he was safe or not. She needed him here, safe, in her arms. He could take care of himself, but she needed him here. He belonged home. With her.
Max missed her best friend.
And for the first time in almost a year, Max finally put her head in her hands and cried.
"Max. Wake up. Now."
Max woke up with a start, instantly on the alert. She saw Iggy and Gazzy in her room with a laptop in their hands. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Max hadn't seen Gazzy and Iggy so excited since they had made their prototype exploding pants. They were both positively beaming, and shaking with excitement.
Gazzy smiled excitedly. "You have to see this. Look!" Iggy grinned and held out the open laptop to Max.
Okay. Seriously? They woke her up just to see something online? She was going to kill them.
Max looked at her alarm clock. Annoyed, she fell back into her bed. "Guys, it's 3:30 in the morning. Can't this wait till later?"
Iggy smiled even bigger. "No! Just read this. Pleeeeease?" He pushed the laptop onto her bed.
Yawning, Max rubbed her tired eyes and began to read.
FANG'S BLOG: YOU ARE READER NUMBER 1,123,432. WELCOME!
August 12, 2011
Yo, Max: I'm sorry for being stupid. I'm coming home…If you'll have me.
-Fang.