A/N: I previously posted this under "Who I am Meant to Become," like 5 years ago. I have since rewritten it, and have decided to post it here. I don't own anything. Hope you enjoy!
Lily Granger stood over a cauldron in an empty classroom. Given the time, and that she was only a third year, she would certainly be punished if she was caught. She methodically stirred her potion, twice clockwise and once counterclockwise, for precisely four more minutes, until it turned the exact shade of blood red that she knew it should be. Taking the potion off the heat, she carefully made notes about its brewing while it cooled. She bottled it, and cleaned up her things quickly.
Her task completed, she sat down at the nearest desk, and turned a vial of the potion over in her hands. Suddenly overcome with doubt, she questioned her actions. Did she really want to know? Perhaps she didn't; after all, what if she used the potion and the spell, all to find out she really was just the muggle born child of the Grangers, and the twin sister of the great Hermione Granger. She thought back through all of the careful research she had done, over many hours in the library, since the start of term. For that reason alone, she felt obligated to take the potion. She wanted to know. She had to know. After all, this moment was a long time coming. She had wondered, ever since the sorting hat placed her in Slytherin.
**Memory**
"Granger, Hermione," Professor McGonagall called out. My sister stepped up to the stool and placed the sorting hat on her head. She was visibly shaking. After a few moments, the hat shouted out,
"Gryffindor." I looked out at the mass of students, and then up to the staff table, trying to push the fear away. What if I didn't belong here? Hermione smiled at me as she headed to the Gryffindor table. She had gotten the house she wanted.
The man sitting at the end of the staff table closest to the door sneered at my sister's back. He had done that to every new student who wasn't in Slytherin so far. Who is he? I wondered. What does he teach and why does he look so bored? The man's expression had remained the same for the entire ceremony so far. I supposed he had probably seen a billion sorting ceremonies.
"Granger, Lillian." I stepped forward and looked up at the man. He was looking at the Slytherin table, completely ignoring me. I sat down on the stool and placed the sorting hat on my head.
"A great mind, I see," the hat said.
"And a fair bit of courage, but also, cunning and a desire to prove yourself. So very different from your… twin. But where shall I place you?"
"I want to be wherever I will do best," I thought.
"Excellent, not afraid to be different. You'll do well in this world. Slytherin." The hat shouted the last word to the hall.
For a moment there was silence, then the Headmaster began to clap and others followed. I got up off the stool and replaced the hat before nervously walking to the Slytherin table. I had expected to be put in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, but I hadn't really thought Slytherin would be where I ended up. No Muggleborns got into Slytherin since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named rose to power. That all changes now, unless perhaps I'm not a Muggleborn. I sat down and glanced towards the strange professor, who I realize, suddenly, must be Professor Snape. Professor McGonagall had mentioned he was head of Slytherin house.
Once the sorting was finished, Dumbledore stood up and gave some notices. He looked at the Gryffindor table when informing the first years that the Dark Forest was forbidden. Then the food appeared. I began to load my plate with food as I turned to the girl next to me.
"Who are you?" she asked. I got the idea that she and the other first years all already knew each other.
"I'm Lillian Granger, but I go by Lily. What's your name?"
"Pansy Parkinson," she sniffed, as if her name was supposed to mean something to me. Then she introduced the boys across from me as Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.
"Granger," Malfoy said. "Your parents muggles?"
"Yes. I… I mean, I think so. I know people like me never get sorted into Slytherin."
"We'd all like to know about that, Granger," Malfoy sneered. They didn't speak to me for the rest of the meal. Clearly they were Pureblood supremacists in the making. Of course, I'd read about the Malfoy family before, and knew this already.
For the rest of the meal, I listened to Malfoy talking to his cronies. Just when I was sure I wouldn't be able to eat anything else, the food disappeared to be replaced by delicious looking desserts. I helped myself, suddenly feeling less full. I was going to pay for this tomorrow I knew, as soon as I got back to my daily exercises. But everyone else was still eating and I wanted to fit in.
After trying several desserts, I gave up on eating and turned towards the Head Table to watch Professor Snape.
Professor Dumbledore stood and began to speak again, but my gaze remained on Professor Snape as he drank from his goblet. As Dumbledore finished speaking, Snape set his goblet down and glared at me, staring me down with his heartless cold eyes. His view of me was blocked then, as everyone rose and I turned away to follow the Slytherin prefects to the dorms. I felt as if he was still watching my every move. We were told the password, which was Pureblood, and then we were told to sit in the chairs set in a half circle to wait for Professor Snape. None of the other first years spoke. I listened to the chatter of the older students as they waited around as well.
"How'd she get in here?"
"Mudblood, right?"
"With a twin in Gryffindor."
"We won't talk to her, Mudbloods aren't worthy of our attention."
I sat still, my back rigid and straight as I listened to the conversations, knowing that everyone was watching me as they spoke degrading things about me, a scared eleven-soon-to-be-twelve year old who somehow ended up in their midst. Couldn't they at least give me a chance?
It was clear to me that my brilliant (so I was told by others; not one to brag, you know?) mind would have been better suited to Ravenclaw. Who am I kidding? My perfect sister has already told Mum and Dad about everything she's read. They'll know exactly what it means, when she tells them that she was in Gryffindor while I was placed in Slytherin. They will know all along that they were right.
They seem to be under the delusion that their subtle favoritism directed towards Hermione was lost on me. They were wrong. I saw it all. It led to my distrust of them, which has led to resentment. It runs back to a time long before I can remember, when Hermione did something, that I didn't, and they chose her as their favorite. Darling Hermione was probably itching to owl Mum and Dad right away to tell them about the sorting. She was always perfect in their eyes, and preferred, even though I was always just as smart, just as calm and well-behaved.
Hermione studied herself sick, and aced test after test in primary school. She could read and regurgitate information in a way that only mimicked an intelligent monkey. But my parents loved her for it. And they were thrilled after they came to understand the meaning of the letter they received telling them that she was a witch and had been accepted at one of the finest wizarding schools.
I was there too, for those first eleven years, acing test after test, pulling all nighters to finish projects that weren't due for weeks and reading obsessively. But that was the end of the similarities. I run, I work out, where Hermione regurgitates information; I remain silent, drawing my own conclusions and forming an answer that the rest of the class doesn't need a dictionary to understand. But no matter what I got on my report cards, Hermione was always the favored one. She loved it, I knew. She loved every minute of it and only remembered me when no one was praising her. For this, I resented her. On the day we got our Hogwarts letters, that resentment turned to anger. It was the last straw, and I remember it as if it were yesterday.
My mother knocked on my bedroom door, telling me someone was in the living room who wanted to see Hermione and me. From the whining I heard in the room across the hall, Hermione wanted to keep reading. I heard Mum say the lady waiting downstairs was a professor from a boarding school and I head Hermione slam her door open and rush down the stairs. I set my book down, and pulled on a nice sundress.
Then I grabbed a sugar-free breath mint (Mum and Dad are dentists) and brushed by straight as a board reddish brown hair, and wiped the sleepy seeds from my murky green eyes. I dabbed concealer on the dark circles beneath my eyes and then walked down the stairs, determined to give off a better first impression than my sister. After all, I was going to be in secondary school in the fall and should be old enough to know how to behave. Not that I would be commended for it. I entered the living room.
"I apologize for keeping you waiting," I said to the professor, who turned to look at me. Although her face betrayed no emotion, her eyes held a flash of shock and confusion before that too was gone. I crossed the living room to sit on the new sofa beside Hermione, who had not bothered to change from her pajamas, all the while aware that the professor's eyes followed me.
"It's quite alright dear," she said once I was seated. "My name is Professor McGonagall and I am deputy headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
"Witchcraft? Like from fairytales?" Hermione asked.
"No. It is not like your stories. I have come to offer the both of you places at Hogwarts." Hermione was jumping up and down in her seat with excitement. I wished I could tell her to stop; it was making the entire couch bounce, but it would have been quite rude to do so in front of the professor.
"Could you show me?" Hermione asked.
"Of course, Miss Granger." Then she removed a want from her robes and tapped it on the fruit bowl on the table beside her. The bowl and the fruit inside it vanished, only to be replaced by a turtle whose shell had a very elaborate pattern on it. I watched, amazed as the professor turned the turtle back into a fruit bowl.
"How did you do that?" Mum asked, stealing the question from Hermione's mouth.
"Magic," the professor replied, and seeing Hermione perched on the edge of her seat, her face betraying her desperate thirst for knowledge, she elaborated.
"This particular branch of magic is called Transfiguration. That is what I teach. What I just showed you is very advanced and you won't be able to learn how until your fourth year or later. We start small." For the first time, Hermione was silent.
"Here are your letters," Professor McGonagall said, handing Hermione an envelope, which she promptly ripped open. Then I was handed mine, and I slid a sparkly polished nail beneath the flap and pulled it open. I began to read.
"Hermione, give me the letter," Dad said. Reluctantly, Hermione handed it over.
"Come, dear, Hermione," he said, taking Mum's hand. They went into the kitchen and closed the door without so much as excusing themselves. I watched as Hermione walked away with my parents, and this time she didn't look back. She had always looked back with a sad expression, like she was sorry they weren't including me. She had always tried to include me when she was favored. But not this time. Not now. Things change, I guess, and I knew then that when we went away to this school, because I knew we were going to, Hermione and I wouldn't be friends.
"I'm sorry about them," I said.
"It's quite alright dear," the professor said calmly.
"So… this is all real?" I asked.
"Yes, Miss Granger, it is."
"Wow. It's all… really hard to believe. Could you tell me about Hogwarts? If you don't mind that is."
"There are four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. They are named after each of the four founders of the school, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff and Salazar Slytherin. I am the head of Gryffindor house. Your house is like your family; you stay in dorms with your housemates, and share a common room with them."
"What should I read? To learn about witches and wizards before I come to school."
"Here is a list," the professor said, pulling out another sheet of parchment from her robes.
"Thanks!"
"You'd like to hear about the classes, I'm sure."
"Oh, yes, of course!"
"There is Potions, that is taught by Professor Snape, head of Slytherin, Charms, which is taught by Professor Flitwick, head of Ravenclaw, Herbology, taught by Professor Sprout, head of Hufflepuff, Astronomy, Defense Against the Dark Arts for starters, and in your third year, you can take more classes.
"You can choose Arithmancy, which is based around mathematics, Ancient Runes, Care of Magical Creatures or Divination. In your fifth year you will take your Ordinary Wizarding Levels and in your seventh and final year, you will take your Nastily Exhausting Wizard Tests. The scores of both these exams are very important for your career choices. And of course there are exams at the end of every year." I smiled. This was getting better and better.
"What exactly would one do for work?"
"There are many options. You could work for the Ministry of Magic; there are all sorts of jobs there, rather like the Muggle government."
"Muggle?" I questioned, having never heard the term before.
"Non magical people. You can teach, or open a shop, or work at the Hospital. There are a great variety of choices. One of the books on the list I gave to you brushes on career choices."
"Thank you for telling me all of this, Professor," I said, as the kitchen door opened and my parents and Hermione returned to the room.
"Miss Granger, have you and your parents discussed your invitation?"
"Yes, we have. Thank you for bringing this wonderful opportunity for our daughter…s," Mum said.
"I can't wait to learn," Hermione said, "Of course I'm going to come!" She was practically bouncing up and down.
"And Miss Granger," Professor McGonagall said, returning her gaze to me.
"I would love to attend. Thank you very, very much," I said, glad that although Professor McGonagall was the only one to actually listen to my reply, I sounded more dignified than my darling sister.
"Very well. Term starts on the first of September. All of the information you will require is in your letters and I shall see you both at school." With that, she left and Hermione continued in her excited madness.
"Mum, Dad," she asked, "when can we go and get our supplies?"
"Well, darling, we could go today," Dad suggested.
"Oh, lets. Please?"
"Get dressed," Mum replied. Hermione ran to her toom to get dressed. I returned to my room to choose a pair of shoes that matched my dress and to find a coordinating purse into which I put my wallet, keys and other personal belongings. Then I took the parchment with the list of books and the letter and placed them into my purse, and then headed downstairs, just before Hermione.
I was jerked from my memories when the door to the common room slammed shut and everyone fell ominously silent. I looked up and saw Professor Snape standing in the opening of our circle.
"I expect you to treat Miss Granger with respect. She is just as much a Slytherin as you are. Any bullying or hostility towards Miss Granger will not be tolerated and consequences will be severe," Snape drawled. It was obvious to me that Dumbledore put him up to it because he didn't look at me once during his threatening speech. He glared around the common room and then barked,
"Go to bed," and fixed every first year but me with a glare that froze us to the bone, preventing any movement. The rest of the common room emptied as the older students rushed to bed.
"Now," Snape began again, "I expect you to treat your housemates with respect. I expect that you treat your professors with respect. You should know that you can always come to me with your problems, those related to school and those that are not."
As Professor Snape gave his speech, he walked around the outside of our semi-circle pausing briefly behind each student. Each student but me. He skipped me.
"You should know now that as both a teacher and your head of house, I have high expectations in both academics and behavior."
Professor Snape had now moved to stand behind the last person in the semi-circle. I glanced over at him and quickly averted my gaze when I noticed that he was looking in my direction.
"And might I remind you that blood purity, or lack thereof," Professor Snape drawled, moving to stand behind me. He placed his hands on the back of my chair and continued as if nothing had happened.
"Is no excuse for anything." And then he smirked at me, and I stared back. The rest of the first years snickered, thinking that Snape was insulting me, and maybe he was and I was too stupid to realize it, but I didn't think so. Besides, Dumbledore probably made sure his staff treated students fairly, even if that student was a Muggleborn in a den of purebloods. Still standing behind me with his hands on my chair, Snape began to speak again.
"I shall call each of you to my office individually in three weeks time to check up on you. Goodnight," he barked suddenly, and stood waiting until we had all gotten up and headed to the dormitories before he moved. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed that he was still standing by the chair I had occupied. He must have felt the heat of my gaze on him because he whipped around and fixed me with his Death to all Students™ glare. I held his gaze for a moment and then turned to head up to my dorm.
The other girls in my dorm fell silent when I entered the room. I busied myself getting ready for bed and unpacking my belongings. Then I cast a basic locking charm on all of my belongings for good measure, just in case anyone wanted to try anything. I fell asleep wondering what made Professor Snape so cold.
I jumped out of bed the next morning, just as the sun was coming up and put on my running clothes. Then I headed through the empty common room and out into the corridor. I met no one on my way to the Entrance Hall, but as I was making my way to the doors I felt someone watching me. I turned to find Professor Snape standing a few feet away.
"Miss Granger, what part of my speech last night did you not understand?"
"Sir, I…"
"What, Miss Granger?" he snapped.
"I understood your speech yesterday Professor. We aren't allowed to mess around and are expected to treat our peers and professors with respect." He snarled at my response.
"What are you doing out of bed, Granger?" he said, sighing. "Pulling a prank already?" So that's what he thought I was doing.
"No, sir, I'm not. I was just…"
"Just what Granger? What were you doing?"
"Going for a run sir," I said quickly before I was interrupted again. "I double checked the rules last night sir. Students are allowed to be in the corridors after dawn."
Professor Snape frowned, probably because he knew I was right.
"Granger, you expect me to believe this? What were you really about to do?" he asked, daring me to admit to something of expellable offense.
"Sir, I was just going to go for a run. Sorry to disappoint you."
"Sorry to disappoint? Miss Granger, that is no way to speak to a teacher."
"Sorry sir. You looked like you wanted me to confess to something I could be expelled for because you think I'm just another troublesome brat that you have to take care of. I'm not doing anything against the rules." He looked momentarily shocked, and this told me that I had made an accurate judgment of his character.
"Alright Granger. You will speak to the headmaster about this, and I expect you to be on time to breakfast and your classes."
"Yes sir. Thank you," I said, recognizing the dismissal, and then I smiled at him before turning around to head outside. His eyes went wide like he was remembering something, but his face returned to normal so quickly I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not.