Okay, so… I'm still totally retired, but some people on tumblr but this in my head… and, clearly, I cannot ignore my muses. So, ta-da.

"Where is she?"

He can barely speak, and these three words leave him winded and gasping for air, but he has to know. The last thing he remembers is her hand, laying lifeless in her lap. He remembers trying to grab it. And failing.

The paramedic presses a face mask down over Tony's mouth and nose. "Breathe," he orders. Then: "Agent David is in another ambulance. She was conscious when we arrived on scene."

He closes his eyes as relief washes over him. Thank God. Because if she hadn't been okay… no, he can't think about that.

Lifting the mask, he croaks out, "I need to see her."

"Keep it on, Agent DiNozzo. We'll get you two reunited once we reach Bethesda."

Tony tries to speak again, but the paramedic swats his hand away from the mask, and he is forced to inhale the way he's supposed to.

And oxygen is a necessity, of course… but it's not as important as her.

0000000000

In the emergency room, he is poked and prodded and nearly blinded by bright lights. Nurses exchange rapid-fire words- numbers and codes, things he wouldn't understand even if he hadn't just been T-boned by a van.

His head is pounding like a drum. Moving only makes it worse, but he struggles onto his elbows anyway and strains to peer past the people surrounding him. "Where's Ziva?"

"She just came in," a nurse replies. "She's being taken care of right over there."

But he can't see anything, and then he is gently pushed back down on his cot. Somebody raises a wet cloth, begins to wipe away the sticky blood he can feel all over his face. Tony takes a deep breath. He flexes his fingers, recalling the sweet warmth of her palm against his.

And maybe he imagines it- maybe it is wishful thinking- maybe it is merely his intense desperation to hear her voice- but, at that moment, he swears that he hears his ninja from across the room.

She says, "Where is Tony?"

Gathering all the strength he has, he calls, "Right here, sweet cheeks."

There is no reply.

0000000000

Finally, he has been thoroughly checked over and declared good to go. The nurses disperse; one stays behind and says, "We need you to fill out a couple of things."

"I gotta check on my partner first," Tony says. He's not asking for permission; he's stating it as a fact, and he doesn't wait for a response before starting toward Ziva. She is sitting up, staring at a wall, cradling her right arm against her chest.

"Hey," he murmurs as he comes up beside her. She turns toward him slowly, and the vacancy in her eyes terrifies him. He smoothes some wayward strands of hair back behind her ears. Lets his fingers linger there. Still, Ziva does not react. "Hey. You okay?"

She swallows so hard that he can hear it. With his thumb, he strokes the side of her neck. His other hand drifts down to her abdomen, up both sides of her ribs. Nothing there feels out of place.

"Let me see your arm," he orders softly, and she extends the one she has bent at such a strange angle. Tony handles it as gently as possible; still, when he presses too hard in a particular spot, she hisses. "Sorry."

"Somebody is bringing me a sling for it," she supplies.

"Is it broken?" "No. Just sore."

He nods and squeezes her still-flawless fingers. "Good."

Ziva's bottom lip quivers slightly- only slightly, but Tony can read her like a book, and he notices. She bites down on it. He thinks that his heart breaks in half as he is reminded of the Ziva who slept in his bed and woke up, panicked, from a nightmare. He remembers how weak and childlike she seemed as he tried to calm her down. He remembers how the only thing he wanted to do was ignore all social norms, crawl under the covers with her, and pull her close. All he wanted to do- no, all he wants to do, still, right now, in this very moment,is protect her from the world.

She grasps his sleeves in her fists. Tony waits. "He hurt me," Ziva whispers. "Bodnar. He hurt me. And he hurt you."

"I know."

"I let this happen, Tony," she whispers desperately, and then lets out an ugly, strangled cry before planting her forehead in his chest. He wraps his arms carefully around her, trying hard not to hurt her.

God knows she doesn't need anymore pain, physical or otherwise.

Positioning his mouth right by her ear, he murmurs, "We're gonna get him."

She releases a shaky breath. Her muscles relax marginally. "Not we, Tony. I have to get him."

"You might have forgotten," he says, "but I'm your partner. Where you go, I go. And I'm sure as hell not letting you chase this son of a bitch on your own."

Ziva pulls her head away from him. The movement makes him feel like she's closing herself off, putting up walls, and kisses the top of her head twice, determined not to let her slip away. Again.

Tears prick the backs of his eyes. "I need you," he says, and it's the most honest, raw thing he's said in a long time. "You gotta stay level-headed. You gotta stay with me."

Her expression softens as she meets his gaze. Hope bubbles up inside of him. She opens her mouth.

"Agent DiNozzo?"

They both turn to the nurse standing beside him with a sling. She casts Tony an apologetic look. "I need to help Agent David put this on. It will only take a moment."

Ziva is already disentangling from him, and he has no choice but to let her go. As he steps back and watches carefully as the nurse lifts Ziva's hurt arm, he sees her eyes glaze over.

She's gone. She won't be back, he knows, until Bodnar is taken care of.

And that scares the absolute shit out of him.