James Potter was bored. Really bored. It was the middle of term and there was nothing to do! Lily and Remus insisted on studying and Sirius had detention with Professor McGonagall and Peter… Just no. He sighed and raked his fingers through his messy, dark hair (his hair is messy and dark, by the way.) and made his way to the Gryffindor common room, where he was instantly greeted by the ball of lard known as Peter Pettigrew.

"Hey! Hey James! Hey! Hey! Where were you? Where's Sirius? Huh? James. James. James. Wanna go to the park." Peter bounced on his toes excitedly, his man boobs all over the place. Ew. James tried to ignore the mousy boy, but he was kinda like Navi. It. Never. Fucking. Stopped. Peter followed the taller boy, ignoring the fact that he was desperately trying to get away. "I think Remus is upstairs, y'know! It's almost his 'time of the month' isn't it? Heheheh! I made it sound like he's a girl on his period. Heeeheheehhee."

"Peter-"

"Yes, James? Do you want anything, James? I'LL DO ANYTHING, JAMES."

"… Get back into the sewer, you rat."

"Okay…" Peter sighed and transformed into his Animagus form, scurrying off into the sewer to be pissed on. James grinned at the absence of the annoying boy and made his way up to his dorm, where, as expected, Remus sat on his bed, nose buried in a book, occasionally making notes on the parchment on his lap.

"Mooney!"

Remus looked up and smiled at his friend. "James, sorry, I can't do much right now, I'm studying for the upcoming N.E. exam, and I suggest you get started too! What're you gonna do once you leave Ho-" He was cut off mid-rant by James, who had grabbed him and was now dragging him down the stairs, into the common room and out the portrait.

"James! Where are we going?" Remus had to practically shout for the messy haired boy (He has messy hair, by the way) to hear him, cause apparently he's freakin' deaf or something.

"Shut up, loser, we're looking for Sirius." James replied curtly, turning his head and smirking at Remus, his dark hair all over the place and his eyes shining. The werewolf blinked and frowned at James, not liking where this was going. Not at all.

"Sirius? He's in detention with Professor McGonagall, isn't he? We can't just-"

"I can do whatever the hell I want! I'M JAMES FREAKING POTTER!"

"Stop right there, Mr. Potterrrrrrrrr." Came a slow, drawling voice that belonged to none other than…

DUMBLEDORE.

Okay, not really. It belonged to Severus Snape. The overgrown bat glided over towards two of the most awesome people in the whole damn school, when James suddenly released Remus from his grip and began to gag.

"OH MY GOD WHAT'S THAT SMELL OH DEAR LO- oh. It's just Snivellus. What do you want?" James sneered, "I never did take off your trousers last week, came back so I can finish what I started, hmm~?" He teased, winking in Severus' general direction. Not that he was gay or anything. Pff. No. Of course not. That's just stupid.

"Actually, Potter, I-"

"LIKE, OH MY GOD, JAMES, LEAVE SEV ALONE!" Cried a shrill, high pitched and annoying voice.

TO BE CONTINUEEEDDDDDDD (Never).