Lugandy Magic Academy's Host Club: One Shot
Authors Note: This takes place before Zelgadis is a chimera so he is around fourteen or fifteen years old. It also assumes that all of the other characters have already met one another, except Zelgadis. I also had to make the other characters older, if you know about Zelgadis's 'age at half the rate of a normal human' than you'll understand why. If not, just assume that everybody's age and their placement in this story is decided in a way that best fits the scenario. This story is a re-tell of the first five minutes of the Anime Ouran High School Host Club. Enjoy the madness. I take no credit for the dialog taken from the show or characters. All credit goes to the original creators.
Written from the perspective of Zelgadis Greywords.
Even with four libraries you'd think one would be quiet.
My great-grandfather is visiting the Magic Academy and he's giving me the choice of staying. I'm not really sure I like it. The students here are much more proficient magic users than I am. Sword play and studying are the only things I feel partially good at.
With a sigh, I leave the forth library and begin my search for a quiet place. In dismay, I begin to think my quest is futile as jovial students pass me up and down the long clean halls. The halls would be so pristine and neat if they were not cluttered with the mess of students.
How are things in heaven Mom . . . Dad . . . I can't believe it's been ten years already. I'm beginning to think that magic users only come to school in order to goof off. It would explain why Rezo is messed up.
Eventually the loud noise produced by annoying people begins to fade away and I find myself in a seemingly abandoned part of the school. An abandoned music room, music room number three to be precise. Guess this is the only place I might be able to study in peace.
I open the door and a blaze of small heart shaped flames harmlessly fly around me. It actually looks very pretty, but it quickly vanishes.
"Welcome!" a chorus of multiple voices echo from the room in front of me.
When I open the door a bunch of crazy and well dressed girls greet me. I think I just found the top student sorcerers guild.
Starting Today, You're a Host!
Out of nowhere I hear a strange voice begin to narrate something about the Magic Academy I am visiting.
"Only those with excellent sorcerer standing and those from powerful magic families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school of Lugandy Magic Academy," a female voice narrates for me. "The Lugandy sorcerer guild is where the schools prettiest sorceresses with too much time on their hands entertain and dual young sorcerers who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Lugandy's Academy's elegant play ground for the magically powerful and beautiful."
Quickly turning away from the weirdoes in front of me, I try to escape, but I only succeed in ramming my face into a closed door. When did that happen! Who closed the door!
Rotating slowly around and facing the sorceresses, I attempt to take in my surroundings. There are seven girls, a clock on the wall, random art displayed on pedestals, a very nice vase, a piano in the corner, tables with chairs, and a shelf with miscellaneous magic books on it.
"Welcome to our Host club," the female with red hair say's from her seat in the center of the group of girls. One would think she was sitting on a throne the way she is conducting herself.
I don't like it.
"This is a host club?" I say in mild disbelief, rubbing the bump on my forehead. Do these people know what a host club is; I thought that maybe this group was a magic posse or gang of some kind. I guess they're just a bunch of idiots.
"Oh wow, it's another girl," a short and well endowed young sorceress says from her place at the leaders left.
"Yeah, I like her hair, hohohoho" another taller woman says who is also quite a looker. She actually looks just like the smaller girl to her left, except taller. They both have dark purple hair with wavy bangs. The one on the right has long hair, while the one to the left wears it short, just like mine actually.
"She has the same hair style as you," the tall woman continues.
Something about the way she says this fact bothers me.
"Amelia, I believe she's in the same class as you correct," a purple haired man with closed eyes says. I do a double take. At first glance I thought the tall slender figure in the back of the group was a girl, but after hearing his voice it is quite obvious that he is a guy. I can't keep up with what these guys are saying, it's just too much.
I have got to get out of here.
"Yeah but she's shy, Mister Xellos," Amelia says with a delightful smile. "She doesn't act very sociably so I don't know much about her."
A creepy smile spreads across Xellos's face; it reminds me of a monster. "Well that wasn't very polite," he says.
Who is he calling impolite, I'm just visiting this school, why should I say hi to a pretty girl like her. Hastily, I try to hide the blush threatening to show on my face. The creepy man continues, while I take note of one of the blond females in the back. It might just be me, but it seems like she might be crying.
"Again, we welcome you to the Lugandy's Sorcerer Guild or Host club as we affectionately refer to ourselves as," Xellos says. Slowly the man's eyes slightly open revealing violet irises. His eyes are not natural. "We are honored to have a student such as yourself visit us."
"What? Really!" the red head girl sitting in the middle of the group says. "You must be Zelgadis Greywords. You're the exceptional honor student I've heard about."
"How do you know my name?" I ask in confusion.
"Are you kidding?" The red head says. She stands from her seat and makes her way towards me. As she comes closer I notice her soft heart shaped face and blazing red eyes. They really are quite something. "Well you're infamous," the girl continues. "It's not every day that a nomad such as yourself gains entrance into our academy."
A giant word saying 'commoner' nudges the right side of my head. I'm completely caught off guard so I miss half of what the red head is saying. She's about the same height as me, which is interesting. I haven't quite gone through my growth spurt yet.
" . . . must have an audacious personality to fight your way into this school," she says.
A giant word saying 'audacious' joins 'commoner' to my left and both words crash down on me like a pair of great giant rocks.
"Thanks a lot," I say sarcastically. My voice hasn't changed yet so I end up sounding a bit like a muffled cat.
Looking past the red head and stumbling to regain some of my dignity I notice one of the blond girls holding up a sign that reads. "Run!"
"Ha, being sarcastic are we, well your welcome!" the girl says as she wraps her arm around my shoulders in a friendly manner. "You're a hero to other poor drifters ya' know. You've shown the world that even a wanderer can excel at an elite private magic academy." She grips my shoulder a little tighter as a maniacal smile erupts on her face. I blush and try to scoot away, just get me out of here. Someone, anyone! Help me!
Now it seems like the red head is toying with me, because she chases me down. I think she has a plot of world domination and I just somehow became a part of it. "It must be hard for you, constantly being looked down upon by others," she continues. Now I have to wonder if she is the one being serious or sarcastic.
"I think your taking this poor nomad thing too far," I say as I make my way towards the door again.
She pretends not to hear me and smiles. "You are so neglected, but that doesn't matter now! Long live the nomad!" She strikes an annoying pose. "We welcome you my poor girl to our world of beauty!"
"I'm out of here," I say making a mad dash towards the door, but someone grabs my hand keeping me from escaping.
So close.
"Please don't rush off, Zelgadis-san" another blond woman says who is currently holding my hand. It is not the same blond person who is holding the sign that say's run, no this one is far prettier. She has an ornate gold hair piece on her head. "You really have come a far ways off to attend a school such as this one. You're a hero in a way, just like me!"
"I'm not a hero, I'm an honor student who might not even stay at this academy . . . and who are you calling Zelgadis-san!" I yell at the tall woman, my voice squeaks at the end thanks to my growing anger.
The room goes silent as everyone awkwardly stares at me.
"Huh? Well this is interesting," the red head says. "I never would have imagined that a famous scholar would be so openly gay."
"Wait . . . what," I mumble. Where did that come from, who wrote the script for this? I suppose it depends on whether or not I credit the English edit or the original Japanese script.
"So tell me, what type of girl are you into?" the leader asks as her manacle grin returns to her soft face.
"The sweet silent type, like Miss Sylphiel" She points to a tall girl with long dark hair. The girl has remained nearly invisible the entire time. Don't worry, I'm sure she's been there the entire time, I'm not completely insane.
Yet.
"The sassy sleazy type like Naga?" The older sister of Amelia is pointed out to me as she lets out an annoying. "Ohohohohoho," with a pose to match.
"The polite type like Miss Filia," The woman with blond hair who took my hand earlier smiles at me sweetly.
"The strong passionate type, like Amelia?" she points at Amelia who waves and offers me a 'V' for victory sign.
"Or the stupid blond type like Gourry," she points to the blond girl in the back who is still holding the sign that says "Run".
"Get out while you still can," Gourry mouths to me.
Blushing openly I now attempt to back away from the red head as she introduces me to the group, but her grip is too strong. Why am I such weakling?
"I thought this group was established to help students with their magic?" Xellos says, interrupting the introductions. He is almost giggling; I think he is enjoying watching this girl torment me.
"Well, yeah," The red head says glaring slightly at Xellos. "But it's also a great way to impress guys . . ." She turns towards me and offers me a crafty smile. "And girls."
"Look, it's not like that, you've got it all wrong and you guys . . . gals. . . whatever you are, you people are nuts! I'm just trying to find a quiet place to study!" I say in desperation.
"Or maybe . . ." the leader continues. She gently grabs me by the chin so I am forced to look directly in her eyes. "You're into a gal like me. The beautiful, supreme, sorceress, genius, the one and only Lina Inverse. What do you say?"
Her red eyes seem to erupt into a blazing inferno and in my shock I gently nudge the pedestal with the expensive looking vase behind me. I know it is behind me, but in my shock I forget.
How can I be so careless?
Desperately I grab at the vase.
It flies from my grasp.
And shatters.
Into thousands of little pieces.
"Oh no!" Amelia's high voice squeals as she looks at the now broken art. She stands at my right looking at me with the saddest most pathetic eyes I have ever seen. I want to enjoy the surplus amount of cuteness on her face but I'm in too much of a panic right now. "We were going to showcase that vase at the upcoming school auction for the poor!" she says.
"Pfft," Naga scuffs out at my left. "Now you've done it, that vase was worth like 8 million gold bars or something like that."
Behind us I hear Filia begin to wail, she is saying something about the vase being a priceless treasure from thousands of years ago. A true show of workmanship and beauty. Something of true beauty before the great war.
"I . . . I . . . wait how many thousand cold coins does it take to equal a gold bar," I say as I begin to count on my fingers and lean on the pedestal the vase once sat on. Turning towards them slowly, I shakily respond "I'm going to have to pay you back."
"But you don't have a lot of money," Amelia reasons. "Aren't you a nomad?"
"Ohhohoh, you can't even afford the proper academy uniform," Naga says in a teasing tone. "How can you even hope to pay for this thing?"
"I'll find a way!" I yell back at her.
"I tried to warn you," Gourry says shaking her head in dismay. Wait . . . is she really a girl? Her voice is very deep. Wait he's a guy! Why is he cross dressing?
"What do you think we should do, Miss Lina?" Xellos asks with a smile still plastered on his stupid face.
"Well you know what they say," Lina says happily. "When in a Beastmaster's lair do what you have too in order to survive! Since you have no money Zelgadis you can pay us back with your body." She gives me a look like I'm a piece of meat dangling on a stick. "That means that starting today, you're the host clubs dog."
I'm dead right?
"Now start barking!" Lina says and begins to hack out a heartless guffaw.
I don't know if I can handle this Mom and Dad, I think I've just been captured by a bunch of pretty girls, one pretty guy, and a guy dressed like a girl who doesn't look pretty at all.
With that said I fall to the ground in a heap, praying that this is all a bad dream.
The End
Authors Note: Zelgadis fits the part well I think. Lucky for Zelgadis though, Rezo knows a spell that can restore the vase to its original beauty. So Zelgadis won't have to become Lina's dog. That's why I only did the first five minutes of the show.
Most of the dialog is nearly directly taken from Ouran High School Host Club. So credit for that goes to them. I only tweaked it to fit with The Slayers characters and my idea with Zelgadis. Other than that I will take no credit.