Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Labyrinth

Chapter One: Unnamed because I lack naming skills.

(Author's note: sorry in advanced for any grammar mistakes. I was going to get my Grammar Nazi friend to read it over to check for mistakes but then I though "Ah screw it, I'll just let Microsoft do my grammar checking as well as my spell checking." So if there's any horrendous mistakes blame Bill Gates.)

Harry stood over the door step of his abandoned house on Pivet drive. It seemed just as he had a better relationship with his family they left him. With no where else to go and nothing to do after the fall of Voldemort, Harry felt lost. He thought that visiting the places of his past might hold clues but instead it left him depressed and alone. In the middle of his reminiscing he heard the strength and familiar voice of his Aunt Petunia. "Right this way Dudley," she said as she walked through the doors of the house. Dudley followed carrying cardboard moving boxes. Harry turned around to face them. "Oh, Harry, what are you doing here?" Aunt Petunia asked not in her usual coldness but instead in a new friendly tone.

"What are YOU doing here?" Harry replied, "I thought you moved"

"Oh we did" cried Petunia with a grin "but me and Dudley decided to move back now that Moldyshorts (heh heh All That) is gone"

"It's Voldemort and how did you know he was dead? And what happened to Uncle Vernon?" Harry demanded.

"Oh, Right! Harry I forgot to tell you! Vernon and I are no longer married" Petunia replied.

"WHAT!" Harry said shocked.

"Oh yes, I should explain…" Aunt Petunia started to say as Snape walked the door carrying three large boxes. His shoulder length hair was no longer greasy but instead his long raven strands had become luscious and full of shine. They radiated the sweet scent of strawberry shampoo and conditioner. It was hair worthy of being on a L'Oreal commercial. "Oh Harry, This is your new uncle, Severous Snape," Aunt Petunia stated, "I'm sure you must know him though, He IS a teacher at that school you attended." Harry Felt light headed he couldn't make out Petunia or the room any more and soon everything went black.

Harry woke up in the sofa in a half unpacked room. Petunia, Snape, and Dudley were all standing around him. Aunt Petunia cried "Oh Harry! Are you alright? You fainted."

"Yeah," muttered Harry, "but please just explain what's going on."

"Right!" cried Petunia "Okay Harry, Let's see where to start… Well you see we all left when you had to fight the Dark Lord , and Vernon was angry about leaving especially since it was all "witch craft nonsense", I tried to tell him that this was actually serious but he didn't listen. He started to take up the habit of going out every night and drinking. When he came home he was worse then before and would beat me and Dudley. So I decided enough was enough and left him. I was close to the area where I grew up so I took Dudley to see his grandparents. There we met your old professor who was also from the neighborhood. We never used to get along but I knew he was from your world and all so I asked him if the Dark Lord was gone. You know to make sure we weren't in danger any more. And to my surprise he said that the Dark Lord had in fact fallen! We then talked quite a bit after that and we started to see each other. I know it seems rather quick but we decided to get married. And we moved back here."

Harry sat stunned by her story. Though the think that shocked him the most was the fact Aunt Petunia told the story to him in a tone that seemed to say "I love you, nephew". Harry only had one question that burned deep in side of him. "How are you alive, Professor? I saw you die!"

Snape looked at him. He was much paler than before and his eyes were sunken and solemn. They seemed to shimmer with a deep red shine that pierced Harry's soul. His thin face was framed by his shoulder length black hair which was no longer greasy but had a fresh strawberry scent to it. "Harry, please its Uncle Severus now, and I'm a vampire now. Nagini was a vampire snake."

"Sweet," replied Harry, "So do you have any cool vampire powers then?"

"No, but I sparkle in the sunlight," answered Snape.

"Just one more question," Harry said, "What made you marry a muggle. I thought you hated them"

"Only normal wizards hate muggles," Snape said, "Vampire wizards love muggles. Plus you aunt is so much hotter then you mother." Aunt Petunia gave a smug smile.

Just then Dudley slammed through the front door into the room. Harry noticed that he had become very buff, even buffer than He-man. Harry thought to himself "Wow! He must have went through a lot of 80's training montages to get that buff."

"Harry!" Dudley cried and gave him a nuggie, "I knew you were here because you got a letter! See?" He took out a folded envelope and handed it to Harry. Harry reached out and grabbed it. It was from Hogwarts. He could tell by the emblem on the envelope. He quickly opened it. It read:

HARRY POTTER! Just because you saved the world from You Know Who doesn't mean you can skip an entire year of school. You're going back to Hogwarts: School of Witch Craft and Wizardry or I will beat you.

From Professor McGonagall

P.S. Don't think you're alone, Miss Granger and that ginger kid you're always with are going back too.

Harry looked up and said "Son of a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans." The only reason Harry attened Hogwarts after the third year was because of his love of Dumbledore. He certainly was not looking forward to having McGonagall as a head master because she was a real See-You-Next-Tuesday.

(Author's note: It's not that bad, right? Although, I'm sure my Grammar Nazi Fried is all like "COMMAS DON'T GO THERE!" right now)