I FOUND AN OLD FINISHED RICHASS ON MY COMPUTER (THANKS TO KORRE) AND I WASN'T GONNA PUT IT UP BUT NIENNA REMINDED ME THAT I WAS BEING A HOARDER SO... TO ALL U RICHASSERS OUT THERE, THIS ONE'S 4 U (sorry it is shit)
To Ask of You
There was something Asbel needed to tell Richard.
All the times they'd had to fight, those times Asbel would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, the sorrow that ran deep into his every waking moment. The sheer joy at Richard's return, the warm touch of their hands, gentle moments spent sitting in the sunlight. Nights under the moon, Foselos gleaming in the sky. Fighting monsters, back to back. Playing checkers. Political conferences. Spending days with Sophie. There were so many feelings Asbel had, and he couldn't sort them out at all. But there was something about it all that just…
He had to tell Richard.
He found the man sitting in his study, working quietly at his desk. The moment the door swung open, he was turning around.
"Please, knock before coming in! I'm trying to work he—oh, Asbel! It's you!"
Asbel was red-faced and breathing heavily. He'd been running ever since he got to Barona. "R-Richard," he said, closing the door behind him. "I- I need to tell… something important..!"
The king cocked his head slightly; it was most interesting. He wasn't sure what was going on, exactly. He waited patiently for his friend to catch his breath. "What is it, Asbel?"
Asbel walks forward, slamming one hand down on the desk. "Richard, I—you—it's…" he trails off, trying so hard to find the words. He remembers how awful he is at expressing his feelings, his thoughts, what he wants to say. It never comes out how he wants it to, and no matter how well Richard always seems to understand him, he knows this is something he needs to say himself.
He's stumbling on words and nothing comprehensible is coming out. He doesn't know how to say it after all, he guesses. He feels his hands trembling. Maybe he's just too nervous—
"Asbel, calm down. What's wrong? It's not like you to get so worked up," Richard says, looking at his friend worriedly. "If it is something important, the first step is to relax. I'm not going anywhere, so take your time."
Asbel takes a deep breath, and steels himself to try to tell Richard what's been on his mind since – since, when? How long? Maybe it all started eight years ago when they'd met. "This is going to sound crazy." Asbel says, just now thinking about what Richard's response might be. He hadn't even thought of that before, but at this point he knew there was no backing down. Not after he'd finally…
"Not at all. You can tell me anything, you know," Richard says, smiling that smile he only smiles for Asbel. Because they have a special relationship, Asbel knows now, it's something special unlike anyone else—
"Richard, I—there's something I need to tell you!" Asbel says, balling his hands into fists. "Ugh… this is a lot harder than I thought. But… Remember when I told you I'd be your sword? Remember I said I would do anything?"
Richard nods.
"I… I wouldn't do that for anyone. It had to be you, Richard."
Richard smiles. "And, Asbel, you're always helping me out. I could never thank you enough for everything you do for me."
Asbel's gaze moves to the floor. He didn't say it right… He takes another deep breath. One more try. "I… I want to do more for you, Richard. It's more than that. I—" he falls silent this time, because his mind has gone blank. Richard is looking at him expectantly, and he can't even find one single word to say. And then it hits him, because he's never been good at words, and actions have always been the only thing there for him to take.
So he kisses Richard.
It's tentative at first, slow, uncertain, and he has no idea what he's doing, but somehow he's doing it. He feels Richard stiffen under him, and he's about to pull away when he feels Richard's arms around him, pulling him in closer. He's leaning up into the kiss, and soon he's licking at Asbel's lower lip and there's no escape. They stay that way until they're out of breath, and Asbel's legs are shaking beneath him. Richard's face is pinker than he's ever seen it.
"Asbel…" is all he says, and Asbel doesn't know what to say in response. What words could he possibly say? He's regretting doing this in the first, place, because he probably just broke their friendship pact too, and Richard's the king of all people, and this can't possibly work, even if Richard isn't rejecting it. Asbel's thinking maybe he should just leave.
Richard seems to sense what he's thinking, though, and stops him. "Asbel, please stay. I… I'm just at a loss of words, right now. Please don't go." He's loosening the cravat around his neck and staring off into space, and Asbel can barely stand anymore. His mind is making him feel dizzy.
"I… didn't know how to say it…" he says, moving to sit on the floor with his back against the desk. His arm brushes against Richard's leg. "There's just no way…"
"Asbel…" Richard whispers quietly, thoughtfully.
"I know you need an heir, and I know there's Cheria now, and there's so many problems but… There were so many times and places, where you were always there for me when no one else would listen, and I always knew you were more precious to me than anyone, but then I- I had to do this, Richard. I had to. I'm sorry." he says, blurting out his unsorted thoughts.
Richard turns in his chair, smiling. "In that case, Asbel, there's something I need to tell you too." He's met with a stunned, curious gaze, and continues on. "I've loved you ever since we were kids, Asbel. I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you that."
That's it. That's what Asbel wanted to say so much, that must be that feeling he—
His breath catches in his throat, and he nearly coughs at the action. He keeps it in, though, and he swallows hard, restlessly. He's trying to keep himself under control. He feels as though his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, and the apprehension is almost making him feel sick. He doesn't know what to do next, or what to say, but his lips are still tingling from kissing Richard, and all he can think about is what's supposed to happen next.
Richard stands from his chair, and moves down to kneel before Asbel. "Didn't I tell you to calm down? Asbel, relax. Everything is fine, and…" He breathes deeply, his fingers brushing over his chin thoughtfully. "I do love you, Asbel. If you're trying to tell me something important, just relax."
"I," Asbel says, searching frantically in Richard's eyes for something other than searing, pure honesty. The truth's hit him like a brick wall, and he can't catch his breath. "Richard, I… I've loved you, too."
It comes out sheepishly, nervously, like a schoolchild confessing to his first crush.
Richard is smiling. "Then," he says, reaching out to hug Asbel, "it's settled."
Reaching his arms around Richard, Asbel finally lets out a sigh of relief. In the end, it was worth it. He had to tell Richard, and it worked. It's all he could have asked for.