A/N: Previous update was on the short side. I hope to make up for that with this one. I hope you enjoy it, this idea was brought on by the online game Smite, and Hotel Transylvania. No flames please.
Chapter one: Naruto… Hotel manager?
It was another day in Konoha as one Naruto Uzumaki was sitting in his apartment, eating his lunch. All of a sudden his phone began ringing. He quirked up an eyebrow in curiosity. To his knowledge the phone had been broken for some years now, plus he didn't know anyone that would attempt to call him.
In curiosity he set down his chopsticks and picked up the phone, he spoke into the mouthpiece "Uh, hello?" a quiet feminine voice spoke on the phone "Umm, is this Naruto Uzumaki?" the blonde hesitantly replied "Yes, who am I speaking to?"
The voice answered him "My name is Chang'e I am the Faerie of the Moon. I wish to make a reservation." The blonde scratched his head at this. This woman introduced herself as the Moon goddess? According to the legend she and her husband were cursed to live as mortals, to ascend back into godhood her husband acquired an elixir of immortality.
A group of thieves attempted to steal it only for her in desperation to drink it. She down the whole elixir and regained her godhood, but she was rocketed to the moon, leaving her husband on Earth, much to her sorrow.
"I am sorry… are you certain you have the right number Ms Chang'e?" he asked, unsure how to handle this situation. "I am positive. I am holding your business card now." She replied over the phone causing the blonde's jaw to drop.
He had never given out any business cards, let alone even own a business. "This must be some kind of mistake! I never have…" he was interrupted by the feminine voice who said "Please stay there. I am on the way now." The phone clicked as the dial tone rang. Naruto slowly put the phone back into place and muttered "That was… weird."
He was about to return to his meal when his doorbell suddenly rang. He slowly walked toward it and opened it up… and saw a beautiful woman with a snow white bunny on her shoulder, which had strange emerald colored eyes.
The woman bowed to him and the Rabbit spoke "Afternoon Naruto-san. Don't mind her, she is with me. I am Cha… I mean I am Pipkin the rabbit." The blonde blinked several times, catching the slip up and then voiced his deduction "You're using ventriloquism to make the bunny talk! So cool!" he clapped several times, impressed at her skill.
The woman waved him off and used her bunny to speak "Ha! You got me! Most impressive! It isn't often I carelessly make a mistake like that! May I come in?" with a nod the blonde ushered her inside. She took a seat on the living room couch and quickly looked about.
"Quite a modest home. Well cared for despite the grotesque outside, all of that graffiti was most distasteful, but I see that is an excellent cover for this Hotel." The rabbit spoke as the goddess fed her a carrot.
"Hotel? I'm sorry but this must be a mistake!" the blonde exclaimed in confusion. The Moon goddess was equally confused as she produced a small slip of paper. The blonde took it and read the contents, it was indeed a business card, but his eyes bugged out in astonishment. It had his name, address, contact information, and something that read 'Hotel Uzumaki! Number One hotel for goddesses of all Pantheons!'
The blonde was utterly stunned. He had no idea how this could have happened! The goddess in front of him then spoke, again through her rabbit Pipkin "It appears we have caused you some inconvenience. I hope this will be sufficient payment for your services and my room and board." She produced a large basketball sized Jade bauble and presented it to the blonde.
He took it, and looked at her, then to the Jade bauble, and back to her several times. "Is this pure Jade?" he asked her, to which she nodded and the bunny spoke "But of course! Is it not enough? We can get another one if need be."
The whiskered teen shook his head from side to side "No! It is plenty." He yelped, not wanting to take advantage of the offer, lest he might invoke a goddess' wrath. The moon goddess smiled at him and once again the bunny spoke "I am glad. Please take good care of us."
The blonde sighed. He had no idea how to handle this. Not to mention he was still confused on how this happened. Then his phone rang again, prompting him to answer "Umm, This is Naruto Uzumaki speaking?"
Another female voice was heard over the phone "This is Bastet! I wanna make a reservation at your hotel!" the blonde was dumbstruck, a second goddess had called him for some strange reason. Then without warning she said "I am on the way! Don't give away my room to someone else!" Before he could say anything she had hanged up and a knocking was at the door.
He opened the door more quickly this time and saw… a cat woman. "Hi! Did I make it? I did? Yes? Great!" she spoke excitedly as she shoved past him and plopped herself on the floor as she performed several stretches "Not a bad place! You have any scratching posts?"
Naruto's mouth could open and close dumbly as he absently held out his hand. "Oh yeah! Here!" Using her tail the cat goddess placed a large bag, filled to the brim with gold coins. He between the gold and the feline several times… and then fainted as he fell onto the floor.
"… Serqet! She poisoned him! I will get you for this you damn Scorpion!" yelled the cat goddess, causing one Scorpion goddess to sneeze in the deserts of Suna.
Several hours later, Naruto came to and noticed his head was in Chang'e's lap. She gave him a gentle smile as he slowly sat up and said to himself with beads of sweat rolling down his cheeks "It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream."
From the Kitchen one Bastet yelled "I am hungry! Feed us!" the Bunny hopped up to the blonde and stated "Please do, as our host it is your responsibility to care for us." The blonde sighed and inwardly cried anime tears as he asked "Have any preferences?"
Chang'e raised her hand up and spoke for herself for the first time in a shy voice "I am a vegetarian." Then the cat goddess yelled out "Fish! I want fish! Gimme fish!" with a sweatdrop the blonde set about preparing their meals. Fortunately those payments he got could bring him a small fortune, he would never have to worry about food or other essentials again.
After a few minutes he brought them their desired meals. Chang'e gracefully ate up her salad, occasionally offering pieces to her rabbit companion. Bastet however gobbled up her meal with gusto, making several loud slurping noises.
At last their meals were finished and they both thanked the blonde for the meal. It was quite enjoyable since they had grown tired of gourmet and rich foods. For a moment the blonde had a sense of pride, no one had ever thanked him for his cooking.
But then he thought to himself about the fact since two had already shown up, it would be likely more would appear and he couldn't house them all in his apartment. Unless he took possession of the apartments below his. No one lived in them anyway, and with the money he could exchange for using the coins and Jade Bauble, he would be able to buy them and get them fixed up within the week.
He glanced at the clock, he needed to get to the Academy soon. And fast. "Glad you enjoyed it girls. But I need to get to school." The two goddesses looked a little ashamed. They had taken up much of his time without considering about the consequences.
"Allow me to assist" Spoke Pipkin, whom Chang'e was speaking through again. "Hold on tight to me and I'll get you to your class in a flash!" The blonde was skeptical at how a small bunny could help… but then they were goddesses. He held onto the rabbit and then… (Zhwooooom!)
A cloud of dust appeared where the two were. And the door swung open. Making a small creaking sound. Outside a blur shot through the streets of Konoha, blowing past civilians, making the skirts of women fly up, sending newspapers into the air, knocking down vendor stalls and more.
"GANGWAY! COMING THROUGH! OUT OF THE WAY ASSHOLE! MOVE ASIDE!" screamed a voice on the wind as it zoomed past a certain masked Jonin, who the blur sped by, causing the Jonin's clothes to rip off leaving him in his underwear.
At last they made it to the Academy. Pipkin stopped dead in his tracks, sending a screaming Naruto soaring into his classroom. "HEEEEEELP!" he yelled as he crashed through the window, skidded across the floor, bounced off the wall and miraculously landed in his usual seat with swirls in his eyes.
The entire class was dead silent. They had known the blonde to be erratic… but that was a brand new level of extreme. Not even Iruka, knew how to react to this. Or even Sasuke, who's face was contorted into a weird smirking and cringing mix.
Iruka slowly turned back to his chalkboard and attempted to resume the lesson, all the while trying to pretend that the interruption didn't happen. After some time the blonde had recovered enough to wake up and pay attention to the lesson.
After some time it was at last time for Class spars. Naruto hoped it was anyone except Sasuke, not because he was scared of the Uchiha. But because he felt Sasuke always had an unfair advantage with his Clan Taijutsu, and a majority of the class knew it, not counting the fangirls.
Sasuke stood in the center of the arena, his uncaring expression on his face. Naruto always wanted to wipe that expression off the Uchiha's face. It was always annoying to look at. But the problem was that the blonde didn't have a fighting style of his own to use, nor any actual Taijutsu training.
Naruto's name was called. With a sigh he entered the ring, wanting to attempt beating down the arrogant Uchiha. With a quick motion the scarred Chunin began the match, Naruto dashed towards the Uchiha and tried punching the Uchiha's midsection, the attack was intercepted as Sasuke flipped the blonde onto the ground and punched him in the face.
Naruto ground his teeth in anger as Sasuke sent another punch to the blondes face, Naruto tried to bring his arms up but Sasuke bypassed Naruto's guard. After several blows, Naruto had a black eye and a bloodied lip, but still the Uchiha didn't let up. Naruto's few friends called for the match to be stopped. Even Hinata cried out for it to stop.
But neither Iruka nor Mizuki would call the match. Shikamaru, Shino, and Chouji were about to physically intervene… until someone grabbed the Uchiha by the collar and threw him off the blonde.
"Goku no like you! You mean! You bad guy!" said a loud voice. Everyone looked and saw a young woman with crimson red hair, and fur on her body. Her modesty was kept by some kind of battle armor… if it could be called that, that covered her chest and lower torso, leaving nothing to the imagination as a staff was held in her hands.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Sasuke in anger at being interrupted from beating his punching bag. "Me Son Goku! The Monkey King! Me no like you! You bully! Goku hates bullies!" she proclaimed in a loud voice.
Several of the students stared dumbly… and then Iruka spoke up "Monkey King? But… you're a girl…" (Thwack!) The chunin was hit on the head by the monkey woman who proclaimed proudly "Son Goku is Monkey King and Monkey King is Son Goku! Son Goku not care for gender! Son Goku care about strength! And Son Goku is stronger than Old Fart Enma!"
This caused the two Chunin to wonder if this strange woman was one of the Sandaime's summons that has run amok. She turned to the blonde and asked "Who you? Goku thinks you nice! Goku likes nice!" the blonde blushed as he got a good view of her cleavage as he answered her "Naruto Uzumaki Goku-san."
"No 'san' Call Goku Goku! Goku like you! Be friends! Goku give you present!" she yelled as she fished for something between her breasts and pulled out a large pouch making everyone yell "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU HIDE THAT?!"
She opened the bag which contained a number of beans "Goku give to friend! Friend eats! Make better!" she offered one to him and he took it and ate the bean, his injuries miraculously vanished. As though he had never been injured at all.
"See? Better now! Goku helps friend!" she exclaimed as she offered a hand to him. The blonde took it as she helped him on to his feet "Thanks Goku." Naruto spoke, genuinely touched by how nice she was. "No thanks! Goku cares for friends! Goku beat up bad people that hurt friends! Friend want Goku to beat up bad guy?!" she yelled while twirling her staff.
An idea crossed the blonde's mind as he said "Weeeell, I'm not naming names, but there is a certain guy that's got a funny haircut in the shape of a ducks ass." A series of question marks popped over the classes heads, while a big red arrow blinks pointing at Sasuke.
Goku glanced at the 'avenger' and noticed his weird haircut. "Goku beat up scowling kid! He has weird haircut!" with a loud screech she pounds her chest and uses her tail as a spring to launch herself towards the Uchiha. A few short minutes of pummeling, kicking, ballbusting, wet willies, and super wedgies, Sasuke was lying on the ground unconscious, with his entire body black and blue, and a dark spot in his pants.
"Goku done! Had fun! Goku likes Whiskers! Goku stay with Whiskers! Protect friend!" she yelled as she gave the blonde a friendly noogie on the head, pressing his head close against her generous bust making a ton of guys jealous.
When he was let go the blonde asked "What are you doing in Konoha anyway Goku?" the monkey woman scratched her stomach and replied "Goku lost. Goku try to find Special Hotel. Goku has card. But Goku can't read! Whiskers help Goku please?"
The blonde had a feeling on what this card would say as she handed it to him. It was the same one as the other two. With a sigh he said "I can take you there." The monkey woman laughed loudly as she boomed in her loud voice "Thanks! Whiskers nice! Goku get lost easy! Goku good fighter but bad at lots of stuff! Goku want stay with Whiskers!"
She hugged him tightly, nearly making him lose his balance "Okay. Please let go….. crushing! Can't breathe!" he choked out the last part. The red-haired monkey let go and yelled "Goku sorry! Goku happy to have friend!"
The blonde just waved her off, and then the bell rang, signaling the end of school. With a smile, the blonde guided her to his home, leaving a stunned class at what just transpired.
As they walked Naruto learned the monkey woman was formerly part of the Monkey summons, but because of her freakish strength and the male/female status quo, she was kicked out. Which suited her fine since she knew she was the rightful Monkey king, since then she has been traveling around.
"Whiskers run Hotel? Goku impressed! Goku happy to stay with Whiskers!" she exclaimed, as the walked down the street, they attracted a number of odd looks. "Yeah, I like you Goku. But I already have two guests there now." The blonde explained, unsure of how many more he can invite in to his home.
"That okay! Goku like neighbors! Goku not have money, but Goku can fix stuff! Goku built treehouses in Kusa! Lots of fun!" she exclaimed with a happy expression. The blonde looked at her oddly "Treehouses for kids to play in, or people to actually live in with family?" he asked to be certain.
"Both! Kids loved Goku's treehouses. Goku also built homes in trees! Much fun! Lots of exercise!" she exclaimed proudly. A gleam appeared in the blonde's eyes as he spoke "You can stay at my uh, Hotel if you don't mind working around the place. Fixing stuff and the like."
The monkey woman's tail shot straight up as she bellowed "Goku happy to! Goku like to fight, eat and build! Goku show Whiskers she good at building!" the blonde smiled at her constant enthusiasm as they at last reached the apartment complex he lived at.
Goku noticed all the graffiti along the building "Why humans paint weird stuff? Goku sees no demon. Paint makes building ugly. Goku wash off!" She yelled. The blonde put a hand on her shoulder and said "Work on the inside first. I'll buy out the apartments then give you the keys so you can work on them."
The monkey woman did a salute as she balanced her staff in her tail "Goku understand! Goku work hard for Whiskers! Make happy!" she yelled making the blonde chuckle as he entered his own apartment…. Which was a wreck.
Currently Chang'e was wrestling with Bastet, the latter trying to get her claws into a cookie jar. Pipkin was angrily bouncing up and down, yelling "STOP THIS AT ONCE BASTET! STOP TAKING NARUTO'S THINGS!" the Faerie of the moon at nm last managed to free the cookie jar, and got into a karate stance, while Bastet hissed, her fur standing on end as she was prepared to pounce.
They were interrupted by a loud 'ahem' making them freeze in place. They slowly turned to the blonde, seeing he was in the company of a Monkey woman… who was currently picking her nose. "Chang'e… Bastet. Clean this mess up. Right now."
With a nod, the two began to clean up the mess, Chang'e, speaking through Pipkin explained that the cat goddess was looking through their hosts personal belongings and eventually attempted to eat up his snacks without their hosts permission. Eventually they began to fight and… the blonde knew the rest.
Eventually nighttime came as Naruto took the couch, Chang'e slept on the bed with Pipkin, funny enough Bastet slept on the floor like a common house cat, and Son Goku slept outside in a hammock she carried with her.
Naruto was still confused how this happened, but right now… he couldn't care less since he now had some new friends, who were goddesses as well. He was actually excited for what tomorrow might bring.
End chapter one.
A/N: Wow. Two updates in the same day. I just HAD to get this one out. I hope you enjoyed it. Suggestions are always welcome. Please leave lots of reviews! Thanks! Also for pictures of goddesses look on Smite wiki.