As the enforcer of Piltover and the Sheriff's right-hand woman, Vi's days off were few and far between. Compared to her life in Zaun, Vi's new life was a lot more hectic and demanding, but it also had a lot more purpose.
New life? I've been here for four years now. It's not new anymore.
A majority of the Enforcer's time and energy went into work. Keeping Piltover safe and getting rid of the criminal trash that littered it. Honestly, Vi liked it. The routine, the feeling of satisfaction after a long day's work, the ability to use her fists for something good for once…and being able to spend time with the beautiful sheriff made it all the sweeter.
Even so, Vi needed time off. She was not like Caitlyn; her brain didn't revolve around work. Cait respected that. She went out of her way to give Vi a day off a was good enough for Vi. She spent her time off mostly the same way. She woke up, ate a big hearty breakfast, went to the gym, worked out until she had that nice gym glow, went home and waited for Cait while napping on and off.
There's always this… point, though. The clock ticks, the day progresses, and suddenly Vi's day off isn't so nice anymore. It's lonely. It's empty. It aches. Then, the doubt fills that emptiness.
The beauty of her apartment becomes uncomfortable. It haunts her. Her mattress is suddenly too soft. The carpet's too clean. The refrigerator has way too much food, would they even eat all of it!? The entire apartment is just too quiet and in that silence, she hears voices that have haunted her for years now. Being in Piltover is so different, so strange, even now. Back in Zaun, everyone was loud. They cried, they yelled, they cheered, they lived. Vi wasn't like everyone else in Piltover. She never had been, never would be.
She would always be a black sheep here.
Vi covered her ears, closed her eyes tight. She can't chase away the thoughts. Of bright spray paint graffiti and dyed hair and matching tattoos and dreams.
Fuck, Jinx. Jinx…
Vi buried her face in her arms. She was gone. Jinx was gone. There had always been a madness in the depths of Jinx's strange eyes but Vi had forced it back. Vi had made her almost…normal. Had held Jinx during her outbursts, stopped her from killing, stopped her from destroying herself and everything around her. Vi had brought that madness out. Leaving Zaun had brought it out and now, now it was too late. She had killed Jinx. Her precious baby sister. And now Jinx tormented Piltover. Destroyed it. Destroyed Zaun, too. Destroyed everything.
"Damn it," Vi shouted, and stomped to the fridge.
No more. No more please.Her fingers tightened around the handle of the fridge. Her knuckles were pale. A headache throbbed at her temples. The memories flooded in, unbidden.
You'll never leave me, right sis?
Bright spray paint graffiti and dyed hair and matching tattoos and Jinxes dreams.
Vi grabs a six pack, hates how weak she is, pops the caps and then its hours later. Her heads warm, and numb, and deliciously fuzzy. If she digs too deep, Jinx is still there. Ekko is there. But she tries not to think of it. It's hard. Vi's never been much of a crier, but it's hard holding back tears, lately. This happened every day off. Sometimes on days when Vi worked, too. Always on the days Jinx came to Piltover.
The thoughts always pierced her mind and echoed and echoed. Ekko – how was he, did he miss her, did he hate her? She can't bear it. She had abandoned them…but that was the thing, wasn't it? Vi could change things here in Piltover. Freedom fighting, living like a street rat, she couldn't change anything that way.
Jinx. Ekko. Everyone…I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm here while you're…
The door creaks open and as always, the sight of Cait shatters her doubt and guilt. Vi doesn't want to seem like a puppy waiting for its owner, but seeing Caitlyn is always a relief. It always takes a weight off her chest and let's Vi breathe again. If Cait was her girlfriend, maybe these feelings would make sense. But Cait's always had a line, a line that Vi has never felt brave enough to cross.
Vi wants to. How could she not?
Caitlyn's the only woman in the world who could come home after a long, hard day at work and still look so damn good. Caitlyn sees her and at first, she's happy. Who doesn't like having someone waiting for them at home? Then, her eyes flicker around the room. They take in the beer cans near the couch, on the table. An empty six pack, and one-half empty near Vi's foot.
This is what you do with your day's off? This is what you do with the time I've given you? Caitlyn's eyes say it all. Her smile becomes a tight, pursed line.
And the guilt flowed in, just like it always did.
Old dogs and new tricks, huh Cait? Once a drunken street rat…
Caitlyn had found her like this. Passed out in a jail cell in a pool of her own vomit. She'd beat up some rich Piltover prick. Beat him into a pulp for…something. Even now, Vi can't remember the reason. Something stupid. Cait could have just let her rot in that cell, could have sent her back to Zaun and let her rot there. Instead, Cait had gazed at her with warm blue eyes and reached out with her soft hand.
"Are these yours," she'd asked, and the other officer with her had shown Vi the gauntlets Vi had created. "Did you make these? They're amazing."
Vi had heard something in Cait's tone. Genuine awe, admiration. This beautiful, flawless, wealthy officer admired her? Vi? A dirty street rat? But no, she'd never thought of Vi like that. Caitlyn had seen something great in her. No one ever had before her. Caitlyn had taken her from jail, and offered Vi a place at her side.
A place at the side of the Sheriff of Piltover.
And this was what Vi did with it. She messed up the apartment they shared and drank until she passed out and welcomed Cait home with…this.
"Sup, Cupcake," Vi grunted, sitting up, uncomfortable.
"Mmm," Cait murmured, bending to remove her boots. She turned her back, and that was how Vi knew Caitlyn was mad.
If only she could understand. Vi's legs felt weak as she walked closer. "Long day?"
"Mm." Cait murmured again.
Vi sighed. "Are you angry?"
Caitlyn is silent, for a long, long moment. She takes too long taking off her boots, taking off her coat. That was answer enough. Vi bites her bottom lip, rubs at her sore eyes. "I'm sorry."
Caitlyn turns on Vi in a second. She jabs Vi in the chest. Hard. "Don't apologize, Vi. I'm the one who should be sorry, after all. For expecting something, anything to change!" Caitlyn rarely loses her cool. Vi does that to her.
Caitlyn gazed into her eyes then stalked away and began to pick up Vi's mess. Just like always.
Vi rubbed her eyes more. They were burning. Her vision was blurry, her head felt numb and everything…everything was spinning now. "Sorry Cait."
Caitlyn is in on her knees, cans gathered in her arms. She's still and silent again. "…If there's anything wrong, you can talk to me, Vi."
Vi wants to. Wants to tell her about Jinx, about the voices that haunt her, the guilt that's rotting inside her but she can't. Caitlyn wouldn't understand, couldn't understand. How could she? Jinx was a murderer. She had ruined Caitlyn's life, destroyed her home, and now she was stuck here with Vi. Vi touched her arm, the tattoo on it. If she knew how Vi and Jinx were connected, how Jinx kept escaping, would Cait still look at her with those soft eyes?
"Nothing's wrong."
Caitlyn laughs, but the sound is bitter and cold. "Of course not." She throws away the cans, the trash. "We're living together now. It's only temporary, but please wait until I have my own place again to fill it with garbage."
A fair enough request. Vi didn't want Cait to get her own place, again. She wanted to say that. Wanted to grab Caitlyn and ask her to stay here for her and save her from her own thoughts…but that was her own business.
Vi touched Cait's hand with her own. "Cait. Please. I'm sorry." It was pathetic, really. She was filthy drunk, begging her best friend for forgiveness. It's something she had no right to do, while her head was full of thoughts of kissing and…
Why am I such an idiot?
Caitlyn turned to her, gazed at her. With those warm, tired eyes and that beautiful face. Vi wrapped her arms around the sheriff's shoulders, drew her close and Cait didn't resist. Cait let Vi draw her in and hold her because she understood that this was what Vi needed. Sometimes, when the thoughts were too much to bear…drinking was what she needed.
"It's okay… Vi." Caitlyn whispered.
Vi gazed at her. She must have been a sight. Disheveled pink hair, bloodshot eyes. Yet there wasn't coldness in Cait's eyes. Even after cleaning up Vi's mess, even after Vi let her down. Even now, she saw something in Vi. Something great, and something beautiful.
She trembled, let herself get anchored by the feeling of Caitlyn's warm body and even warmer eyes.
Caitlyn's fingers stroked her cheeks and along her jawline. "You can talk to me."
"Nothing wrong." Vi grunted. "Won't happen again."
But it would.
It would.
When the thoughts came back. When Jinx came back.