Note: It's my first ff about The Mentalist. I haven't written fanfics in a really long time, but this idea came to my mind and here we are today. English is my second language so I apologize for any mistakes. I have at least one more chapter in mind but we'll see how it turns out. Reviews are more than welcome as I might have got out of practice. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.
The wall felt pleasurably cold against his naked back. Brisk night air coming through the opened balcony door played with his wet blond hair. He felt a shiver come down his spine.
The lights in the bathroom were still on and created a small yellow rectangle in the corner of the room. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, taking in the smell of woods nearby. This oh-so-familiar scent of pine trees and wet soil. Suddenly, a thunder shook up the house, startling him a bit. The wind became boisterous, making the white sheer curtains wave even more.
Jane slowly opened his eyes and looked at the night sky. He saw lightnings playing in clouds like fireworks on the 4th of July. The thunders made the painful pounding in his temple even more uncomfortable. He was exhausted, even though they had had a pretty boring two weeks without any case to solve. Apparently no one wanted to murder anyone in California, which was obviously good, but the lack of things to do made Jane overthink things he used to shut down and ignore.
Since the day of his wife and daughter's tragic deaths, he had felt a dark and heavy shadow following him around. Some days it didn't bother him much and some days it pressed down on his shoulders and chest until Jane had to remind himself to breathe again.
Last Friday had been one of those darker days. He didn't even know what triggered this, it was just a normal Friday. The only thing he knew was that the shadow found himself a new companion – migraine.
He lied down on his mattress and stared into the ceiling. He knew he wouldn't sleep this night, so he just tried to make the sound of pouring rain calm down his nerves. It didn't go as planned. Instead of relaxing, the rain reminded him of his wife and the day he'd met her.
She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He knew it sounded cheesy, but that was the truth. She had looked breathtaking running down the park aisle, trying to avoid the rain. Then she had slipped on a wet stone and fell down. He hadn't even thought when he'd run to help her get up. He'd stared into her eyes and immediately fallen in love with her.
Now, lying down in an empty bedroom, he saw her so vividly, he almost believed that she was here. But then he looked at the red smiley face on the wall and once again felt a massive weight on his chest and a sharp sting in his temple.
He forced himself not to remember his daughter. He didn't want to follow this pattern, like he used to for the last couple of years. There wasn't a day when he didn't think about them but this night it would be too painful for him. He had already suffered a lot during last week.
He needed to distract himself. He got up and went out on the balcony, even though it was still raining. His gaze was automatically fixed on a big plant standing in the corner. The corners of his mouth went up a little, as he pictured the person who gave this to him. He sat down on the cold ground right in front of it and started caressing its leaves. He wished that his gentle strokes somehow transfer through the plant onto the giver.
Jane knew thinking about her was also a bad idea but after all those years it became his coping mechanism. A mere memory of her never failed to help him fall asleep.
She wasn't as beautiful or as elegant as his wife. She was petite, but tried to make up for her figure with her stubborn and fierceful attitude. She frowned a lot and didn't try to be likeable. But when she smiled – oh God, it was a sight to see. Making her smile was his everyday goal.
She was so different from his wife and he found that amusing. Angela was the love of his life, but somewhere along the way, Lisbon started appearing in his thoughts more and more often. He didn't know yet if what he felt for her was gratitude, respect or... love. He hoped he would figure it out someday.
He really liked spending time with her. Somehow she made this dark shadow disappear or at least made it lighter.
I need her.
As this thought entered his mind, the pain became unbearable. He wanted to feel light again. Carefree. And he knew only she could make him feel like that.
Not thinking much about the hour, Jane went back into the bedroom, put on some shirt that was lying on the ground, not even minding to button it up. He sprinted down the stairs and in no time found himself in front of her door.
He rang the bell and waited anxiously. "I need to see her" and "I need to make it go away" were the only things on his mind now.
- What the hell, Jane! It's two in the morning!
Lisbon stood in the doorway, dressed in a Chicago Bears jersey, her hair messy and an angry look on her face. He looked at her and suddenly, he felt like a fresh breeze just entered his mind.
- Teresa, I need you.
The look on Lisbon's face suddenly changed. Only now she had woken up enough to notice Jane's state. She had never seen him like that and it scared her.
- Come in. - She said gently, stepping aside and letting him enter her dark apartment.
He looked around the living room but nothing much changed since the last time he'd been here. Lisbon studied him suspiciously. He looked so lost, so hurt, so... fragile. When he was being his irritating self, it was easy for her to ignore her feelings for him. But now she couldn't deny them anymore. Not when he needed her.
She wanted to hold him in her arms and make all the pain go away. She wanted to protect him from the evil world. She so badly wanted to do something to make him feel better.
- Would you like some tea?
- Yes, please.
His voice is so weak.
As she was putting the kettle on, she felt his gaze on her neck. She turned around and found him quickly wipe away a tear. When they eyes met, it was it for her. The tea wasn't enough. She ran up to him and hugged him as tightly as she could.
Jane burried his face into her hair and just breathed in her smell. It felt so good. He didn't notice how cold he was until he felt her warm body against his. The warmth slowly started to fill his insides. Only when she started caressing his hair, he felt tears running down his face.
Normally he wouldn't let anyone experience him in this state but he just couldn't pretend anymore. He couldn't carry on by himself. He weeped like he hadn't in a long time. The tears of grief, tiredness and... relief.
- Shh, it's alright. You're safe. - She whispered in his ear, gently stroking his hair and crying with him. - You're with me.
After a few minutes he calmed down, but neither of them pulled apart. They stayed embraced in each other's arms for what felt like eternity. Jane knew he had made the right decision to come here. Having Lisbon so close to his heart felt right... Like it was meant to be.
She pulled away just a little bit and put her hands on both of his cheeks. He kept his eyes closed as she wiped the tears from his face that hadn't dried out.
- I'm here for you. I'll always be.
Her voice sounded so nice in his ears. So clear. The migraine was gone. The shadow ran away, but Jane knew it would come back. Suddenly he felt a kiss on his eyelid. It was light as a feather. Then another kiss on the other lid.
He didn't want to open his eyes because he worried that this whole situation was just a dream and that he'd wake up in his bedroom. But her warm breath on his cheek felt so real. He gave in.
The amount of emotions Lisbon saw in his blue eyes was overwhelming. His look was so intense that she felt her heart beat faster. They both wanted to say so much, yet not speak a word. And somehow, they understood each other. They didn't need words to describe how they felt. Jane's gaze finally shifted from her eyes.
- Thank you. - He murmured. - So... about that tea.
After a couple of minutes they sat down on the couch, drinking hot tea and eating sandwiches that Lisbon quickly fixed. This little snack made Jane feel a lot better. They didn't mind the silence. It was actually comforting.
They were sitting close to each other but weren't touching. This space between them started to bother Jane. He wanted to feel her warmth again, so he took her hand and looked at her. Only now he noticed dark circles under her eyes and a few streams of dried tears on her cheeks.
- Teresa, I... - He paused, looking for the right words. - I'm sorry I woke you up, I didn't mean to bother you this late at night. It's just that... I couldn't take this pain anymore. I couldn't do this alone. And I realised that you've been the only light for me at night. The thought of you has helped me through my darkest times. So when tonight happened to be one of those times, I knew that you were the only one who could make me feel better. And you did.
She didn't know what to say, so she just squeezed his hand and smiled softly. This smile made him realise what he really felt for her. He stared at her and found himself lost in her comforting and loving eyes.
- I think I've fallen in love with you. - He heard his own voice. He didn't intend to say that. It just sort of... slipped out. But as these words hung in the air, the feelings they both tried to suppress so hard started ascending to the surface.
He pulled a piece of hair behind her ear and leaned in closer. Since she had answered the door, everything they did, everything they experienced, felt just right. The stars were finally aligned.
So Jane decided to fulfill his fate. He kissed her and for this couple of seconds he finally was at peace. He tried for so long to pretend like he hadn't had feelings for her. It had always stressed him out when he'd found himself thinking about her romantically. He had tried to look at her like her smile hadn't made his heart skip a beat. Like he hadn't ever lost himself in her eyes.
But now, when they pulled away, he could finally look at her peacefully and take in her beauty. Only now he noticed little freckles on her nose and a scar on her temple. He found himself trying to memorize every part of her face. And then she smiled and caressed his cheek. He heard her whisper:
- I think I've fallen for you, too.