I was on patrol in Timber,
Making sure there was naught a stray pet,
When I heard about a suspicous guy,
Dressed up as a cadet.

I vowed to find this dude,
Question every teen,
I was just doing my job,
Do you really think I'm mean?

Well, I meet some teens alright,
One with a gunblade, another with metal fist,
The girl was wielding....I don't know,
Suddenly I thought of a wish list.

They were SeeDs, I was sure,
And probley responsible for the spy,
But the way they fought,
Nearly made me die!!

The gunbladed slashed, the whatever flew,
And the dude with the metal hand,
It hurt so much,
I fell like a bag of sand.

I'm in therapy now,
Now doc, I'll never go down that lane,
For fear of meeting those teens again....
DONT TELL ME I'M INSANE!!!

Biggs and Wedge report the same teens,
escaped from prison,now its driving me mad,
WHAT?! They blew up the missile base?!!!
I'm hanging myself with underwear, its too sad!!