One glance along the skyline and her hazel green eyes trembled with her thoughts reeling back to the last few months and the onslaught of emotional terror with the final end of Reign. It wasn't that Sam wasn't grateful to be free, it's just that it had still been her physical hands that had created the chaos destruction and death and she didn't think she would ever escape the nightmares that plagued her conscious tattering thoughts.
Just as Sam's mind began to drift, it was a knock at the entry that rendered the thoughts to part from her of the darkness, as she made her way to her front door unlocking it opening it to see a rather laxed and leaning Danvers in her doorway grinning as she held up a bottle of scotch.
"Not interrupting you am I?" The newly promoted to Director asked still with a smile and her teasing chocolate brown eyes. Sam chuckled rolling her eyes shaking her head to push off the door scooting back to give the woman invitation in. Alex laughed leaning into her to give her a brief hug and kiss on the cheek making Arias blush and watch Danvers saunter in to which Sam couldn't help but glance at her nicely shaped rear end then shut the door to walk over towards the kitchen where Alex was heading.
"Not really." Sam told her sighing. "Not that I'm not happy to see you because indeed I am...but what's up?" She watched the Director turn to face her now leaning against the counter with the bottle set down.
"I was worried about you two. I hadn't really heard anything from Ruby lately and...you've been kinda quiet Arias." Alex spoke softly but with concern. "Are you okay?" She knew she might be treading into the unknown with the offered opening to conversation over the entire World Killer incident but, she'd wanted to be there for Sam and her daughter despite it all. Her friend shook her head and Alex contemplated approaching her to give her a hug or some form of comfort but instead found herself sighing to which Sam looked at her. Then she started to laugh putting a hand over her face ducking her head some.
"What's so funny Alex?" Sam had gone from dreading the talk to now downright curious at the change of response off the badass agent's body.
Alex removed the hand shaking her head.
"Ya know….Kara would know what to do in this situation…" Arias rose and eyebrow. "She just, when it comes to people...she knows how to act accordingly." Sam still looked at her puzzled.
"Okay you've lost me." Alex motioned for them to go sit at the table as both of them dismissed the booze since it was only eleven in the morning and far too early to be hitting any kind of bottle. As they both sat down Alex leaned back in her seat some to explain more leading into an almost two hour conversation that was until Sam's phone rang. Danvers eyebrow lifted chuckling.
"Saved by the bell?" Sam got up quickly rushing to the counter to grab her phone. "Who is…"
"It's Lena. Hold on." Sam held her hand out giving her a signal of one minute. "Lena hey...what's up?" Alex watched as Arias nodded her head then shook it and nodded. "Yeah, no I get it. Hey...hold on." Sam covered the phone for a sec. "Mind if she comes over for a few?"
Alex flung her hands slightly nodding giving a thumbs up and Sam let the woman know to head on over to her place, that it might just be what she needs then said her goodbye and see you soon hanging it up. Now Alex was curious.
"What's up with Lena?" She asked as Sam sat back down sighing.
"Bad day at CATCO I guess, and there was a slight issue at a meeting. It's getting to her running two businesses since I…" Alex reached out to grab one of Sam's hands.
"Don't do that to yourself. Okay?" Arias huffed nodding. "Good." The Alex smirked. "She can join us in a glass and maybe that will take some of the stress off her." Sam laughed nodding.
"Nah, she needs to get laid." Alex burst out laughing then. "Well, it's true!" They were both in a fit of laughter as they awaited their third party.
It hadn't taken more than twenty when the doorbell went off and Sam came strolling over to the door opening it to invite her friend in as Lena held out a bottle of their favorite to which Arias laughed.
"Now I have TWO choices!" Sam told the Luthor as Lena walked in stopping when she saw the older of the Danvers sisters lounging on the couch as she held up an arm waving her hand hello.
"Oh….I didn't know you had…"
"Nah, it's all good Lena." Alex piped in getting up from the couch pointing to the bottle on the counter. "I guess we are thinking in unisom today huh.."
"I guess so. Congrats on your new position Director." Lena told Alex as she nodded to walk over and lean back against the counter. "Sorry for um.."
"All's good Lena. So, I heard you had a bad day.." Alex offered the same she had to Sam, a chance to talk about the events of something as she pointed to the bottle Luthor set down or the one she brought with Lena pointing to the first second. "Haha, glad I have good taste."
"Expensive taste, but hey I'm sure you are making more now." Alex went looking for an opener as Sam dug through a box on the counter finding one handing it over.
"It's okay." Alex shared opening the bottle for them with Sam grabbing tumblers as the Director began to pour. "Tell me when." Lena tapped on her glass as Alex went to Sam's filling some until she tapped on hers finally filling her own a little more. Setting the bottle down she held up hers. "To…"
"To friendship…" Sam shared.
"To sisters…" Lena added.
"To strong badass women ahaha!" Alex laughed making the other two join in as they clinked their glasses together. But as the three went to sip Sam's TV, that had been on a show, was flashing an alert on the news and they all turned to it.
"We just received word about a half an hour ago that a five story apartment complex had been engulfed in flames due to a gas leak that started on the third floor while three apartments were under maintenance. Now, on site across the street as you see behind me the firefighters are doing their best to counteract the flames, but they were lucky when Supergirl had arrived on the scene and instantly began to attend to getting as much of the flames out. We've been told by officers and EMTs that along with fighting the blaze she had been zooming in and out with residents of the complex bringing some out that had unfortunately been already burnt but because of her on site she'd been able to get them out in time. There she is…"
On the screen even covered in soot, she was flying down to one of the paramedics with a little girl in her arms that she had her cape off to wrap her in all the while she shook in the Supers arms. It was the first time in all her on video appearances, was she with her cape off.
"Supergirl...is she alright?" The soot covered blonde ignored the reporter for a second to set the girl down on the stretcher as the paramedics went to work on her instantly giving her fresh oxygen. "Supergirl?" When the blonde looked back to face the reporter and the camera her trembling blue eyes spoke volumes to how she felt. In the cerulean storms of both fear regret and agony was the beginning of cascading falls, and instantly the tears leaked down the Kryptonian's face. "Supergirl?"
"I...couldn't save them…" She spoke with a tattered voice filled with a flooding sorrow and between the look and the voice it was enough of a confirmation..
The tumbler in a clenched hand fell helplessly to the wooden floor crashing and scattering with glass at their feet. Alex and Sam looked down at the broken tumbler on the floor as Arias ran for a broom and dustpan and Alex stood still with her eyes running up and meeting the shock, the anger, the fear, the betrayal and finally the shame fueled in the Luthor's wide eyes.
The Director went to say something, anything that could fix what one report on the news had unleashed but she knew that what was to come wouldn't be easy. That's when the shivering green eyed genius let it out as Sam came back with a broom and pan in hand.
"A simple band….and glasses…" Lena spoke with Sam starting to clean up the mess wondering what her friend was referring to.
"What are you muttering about Lee?" Sam asked as she swept up more of the scattered glass.
"I told her she had a god complex...I told her I didn't trust Supergirl…" Lena felt her voice cracking more and more and that's when Sam's eyes went wide she went still and lost her grip on the pan and broom with them clattering to the floor and the glass in the pan scattering once more. "I made kryptonite…" The Luthor felt the tears slipping down her cheeks now.
"Did you know…" Alex leaned down to grab the broom and pan cleaning up the scattered glass then began walking back over to toss it in a can and grab the bottle coming back over to both of them as she gulped down what was in her glass to fill it again. "..when HE showed up with her at our doorstep, to tell my parents he couldn't keep her and she'd be better with us….I actually hated her?" Sam stood up then as both her and Lena looked at her with Arias downing what was in her glass. They watched Alex walk around the room slowly. "Here was this little weirdo and way too sensitive mute runt and I had to share everything with, including the bathroom which was a nightmare." Alex continued handing Sam the bottle which Lena snatched to pop off the top and drink straight from it. "Then I had to watch this little brat one night and there was a storm and it meant I couldn't go out with my friends because of her so I hated her more and blamed her. My parents were out and the rain was coming down hard. I had to get extra flashlights and candles and she was curled up in a ball on our bedroom floor not helping so I dropped everything and yelled at her..WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING HELPING YOU STUPID LITTLE WEIRDO!" Alex reached out to take the bottle from Lena to drink straight out of too then hand to Sam who set her glass down and drink too from it. "She was rocking herself covering her ears so I yelled at her bending down getting in her face. She was crying and shaking and I didn't understand what was her deal and then the thunder and lightning started and the noise terrified her…"
"Cause of her hearing…" Sam was piecing more and more together taking another swig from the bottle. Alex nodded.
"I realized how much of a bitch I was then, I reached out then and grabbed her hand to bring it to my chest as I put my other hand to hers. I taught her to breathe with me, focus on my heartbeat and listen to it. Let the sound of it drown out everything else." Alex looked away sighing. "I was such a horrible sister to her back then. She had lost so much, her home...her parents...her whole world, and I was pissed because she came to live with us and made my life more difficult." Danvers then turned to look at both women. "She was sent to earth to watch her cousin, to look after him and that the earth's yellow sun would give her power and she would do amazing things. She had been given a mission at 13 and it never happened…"
"Why?" Lena couldn't say anything else, it was just too much but she had to keep listening. Did she even KNOW her best friend at all?
"Her parents put her in a pod to follow her cousin when Krypton was crumbling. But...the explosion of her home sent her pod off course and she was sent into a darkness that swallowed her in a cage of trapped solitude, for two and a half decades.." Alex told them taking a swig from the bottle as the alcohol started to hit her some and she went to the couch where both women followed as they all sat down. "In the Phantom Zone...time doesn't move. All you have is your darkest memories to plague you. All she had….was watching her home burn away her parents gone, everything she knew gone." Sam leaned back as Lena rested forward with them both on seperate seats. Sam was on the couch with Alex, Lena in the chair with her elbows on her knees her hands pressed together fingers curled together. "It was just...meant to happen when her pod was pulled from that place but when she got to earth….Superman wasn't an infant anymore he was grown, her mission failed. He didn't need her."
"The questions…" Sam began as both women looked at Arias. "About Krypton…" Alex nodded.
"You know….that night, she was about to leave the DEO after watching Mon-El and his wife in the training room laughing when they were supposed to be training, and I stopped her. I told her how I'd been trying to tell her Kara Danvers was my favorite person, to embrace her humanity since she had struggled with everything after the Daxamite invasion and losing her boyfriend.." Alex started sighing shaking her head. "I told her forget that, be cold be Kryptonian." Looking up she looked into Sam's shaking eyes. "I sent her out that night to meet Reign."
"Alex…" But the Director shook her head. "It was MY body…"
"It wasn't you Sam. It was Reign, it was that monster that hurt my sister...that dropped her off that roof. It wasn't you."
"Oh fuck…" Lena stated as they turned to her. "So….the...days Supergirl was missing, Kara was sick.."
"Sorry Lena." Alex sighed hating this part. "We had J'onn, you know Martian...shift into Kara then James and…" Sam chuckled making both women glance with raised eyebrows.
"I remember Lena telling me how weird that whole ordeal was."
"Well...it wasn't Kara." Alex knew this would be difficult to share pacing herself. "Kara was...in a coma." Lena's eyes went wide as did Sam's as the Luthor fell back in the chair with a hand over her mouth. "It was our friends from the future whom got her awake again."
"She could have died…" Lena spoke with her voice shaky and Alex looked at her. "The dream I had...about her carrying me, not Supergirl but her….it was true." The Director nodded. "The airplane..I told her to let me go…"
"We both were saved on planes by her." Alex shared. "I was on the flight where Supergirl first appeared. She knew I was on it, she didn't know if she could get to me but she embraced all the Kryptonian in her to save the plane I was on that night."
"You.." Sam began. "Are HER Supergirl Alex."
"You are." Lena agreed with Alex shaking her head.
"She wasn't going to let you die Lena. And Sam...SHE was the one who tried to save the World Killers when I and all the DEO wanted to kill all of them. Sam looked away with her head down.
"Because of her...I'm here. Because of her….I'm with my daughter."
"Because of her...I believed I wasn't just a Luthor. She made me believe I was different, I was good. She made me believe I could be a hero. She gave me unbreakable support, she comforted and saved me. Shit...she protected me from my family….from Edge….from so much." All three women heard Alex's phone go off as the woman pulled out two phones and both women looked at her funny.
"One's work...one's...nevermind." Alex ignored them grabbing her personal cell. "Kara?" Both women stiffened but she looked to them mouthing quiet to switch her phone onto speaker. "Hey sorry sis...I am doing some cleaning, now what were you saying?" All three of them heard sobbing.
"I couldn't save them all Lexy...there were seven more people in there...I couldn't get to them in time." Kara was crying as both Lena and Sam held a hand over their mouths to be quiet.
"Kar...I know…"
"I wasn't fast enough Alex! I wasn't fast enough to save them! I wasn't strong enough to get the fires out in time! I let them die!" Alex heard the rustling through the phone guessing her sister was flying somewhere. "They needed me to be better…"
"Kara, what have I told you." Alex was doing her best to help both women understand even more what was happening. "What have I told you before?"
"That...it's not about what….I can't do, it's what I can...that matters. But Lexy…"
"Kara, you can't save everyone." Alex tried to get her sister to understand but she knew it was hard for her.
"I let people down Alex." They all heard a sigh and sniffle. "Look at what almost happened when I couldn't defeat Reign?! When I had to use Mon-El's ring to fix things! Look at what happened to Sam, to Ruby….to Lena! Alex, it's killing me keeping this from her! It tears me apart that I have to.."
"Kar…" Alex tried to interrupt but she knew her sister wasn't through.
"Alex….her mom said...when she finds out she will hate me and you know what…..she already HATES Supergirl! With good reason! I lie to her Alex and you know….she's right..I did have a god complex with everything with the World Killers because I thought I could stop it! Now, she doesn't trust me and….I think Sam doesn't want Supergirl around because it reminds her of Reign and…" They heard heavier tears and sniffles then and a sound of a door with bootsteps. "I….seeing my mom was both a miracle and torture. Seeing Mon-El and getting his help then….us on Argo..I thought maybe you know? Then he goes back to his wife."
"Kara…" Alex tried again.
"I know I know...I can't save everyone and everything happens for a reason right?"
"Hey...how about..you come over tonight about…...six okay? I'll order chinese and we can have a nice night on netflix catch ups." A heavier sigh with sniffles then silence until the woman spoke again. "Kar?"
"I guess. Six at your place?"
"Yes, six at mine and Kara….it's gonna be okay."
"Yeah…..see you soon sis…" The line went dead with Alex looking at the women leaning forward in their seats watching her with worried and tattered gazes.
"Everytime….every time she loses someone, she blames herself. Every time she doesn't do something right, she blames herself. When she lets someone down she's broken, and she spends the rest of the day crushed and evening sobbing on the roof while listening out along the city to make amends by doing more, doing better. She carries the weight of one broken world and this one on her shoulders and….I can't stop her from feeling this way." Alex spoke with such pain for her sister in her voice. "She tries to fix everything, save everyone….but never helps herself, never takes care of herself."
The three women took turns in silence passing the bottle around taking a few more swigs.
"She never gave up on me, believed in me, saved me…"
"She saved us all…." Sam said after Lena's realization as she looked at Alex. "What can we do?"
"You know…." Alex began as she looked to the calendar on her phone and smiled. "I think I know something we can do for her…." Alex typed out a message to her sister to just use her balcony door to come in that evening then set her phone on the table and began to fill both women in..
'There'll be days your heart don't wanna beat..
You pray more than you breathe..
And you just wanna fall to pieces…
And nights, two AM calls,
Where dreams become walls..
And you just need to break….'
Alex looked over at her phone as the clock showed five fifty eight and she smiled upon the whoosh at her balcony only to hear the boots as the full uniformed Super stood in her living room to the lights out and puzzled cerulean blues looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Hey Lexy….there a power outage or something?" That's when Alex let the light be known her hand was partially covering as she turned with the plate in the other and a candle on the cake she now displayed to her sister with a smile on her face to Kara. "I…" Kara was confused at first then it donned on her as she rolled her eyes smiling about to blow it out not sure if Alex had put one of those trick candles on it stopping to gaze in her eyes. "Not a self relighting one is it sis?" Alex laughed shaking her head watching as Kara smiled about to blow it out until she heard two separate sets of footsteps and two other heartbeats in the room.
Sam and Lena stepped out of the corners making the Kryptonian spin around and gasp with wide eyes as both of them approached. Kara then looked back at Alex whom smirked.
"Happy Earth Birthday Kar.." Alex told her. Kara was stunned, scared and shaking not daring to blow it out until both Sam and Lena wrapped an arm around her now standing at her sides.
"Make a wish Kara." Lena whispered knowing her best friend heard it.
"Make a couple if you want.." Sam added smiling but Kara was trembling between them then suddenly she was collapsing to her knees on the floor with her head in her hands. "Kara…"
"No no...Kara it's okay…" That's when the blonde shook her head still crying with Alex setting the cake down snuffing out the candle for the moment as they all knelt down to her.
"Kar...breathe….follow my heartbeat sis." Alex told her. Both women watched as the older sister that actually wasn't older, took Kara's hand to place it over her chest and put hers on the Supers. "That's it...listening to it.."
'Break on me
Shatter like glass,
Come apart in my hands..
Take as long as it takes, girl..
Break on me,
Put your head on my chest
Let me help you forget..
When your heart needs to break,
Just break on me..'
'
"I lied...I hid my…" Kara started but Lena cupped a hand over her friend's mouth instantly forcing Kara to look at her.
"No. It's okay."
"But…" Kara said still muffled with her hand.
"How many times have you saved my stupid ass.." Lena stated.
"I dont know.." Kara tried to say.
"I do. It's okay. We are okay...I'm sorry too Kara.."
'There'll be times when someone you know..
Becomes someone you knew,
But you'd do anything to change it, and words
You wanna take back,
But you know you can't..
When the pages just won't turn,
And it still hurts…'
Kara searched Lena's eyes for reassurance finding it sighing with relief knowing what her best friend and boss was trying to say nodding wiping her eyes.
"I'm sorry Kar...for everything.." Sam added making Kara turn to her as Lena took her hand away from the Supers mouth. "I couldn't believe I…"
"It wasn't you." Kara told her with conviction to her voice nodding knowing Arias was preparing to argue. "I know you Sam….and it wasn't you." Sam slid her eyes to Alex whom nodded as she looked back to the Super before her reaching up to wipe tears from Kara's cheek. "Sam…"
"Kara.." Lena started, as the blonde turned to look at her taking one of her hands into her own gripping tight. "Tell us…"
'Break on me
Shatter like glass..
Come apart in my hands
Take as long as it takes, girl…
Break on me
Put your head on my chest,
Let me help yoooouuu forget
When your heart needs to break..
Just break on me..'
All three didn't expect the dam to truly break on them as the blonde before them began to cry and release all of what had been bothering her, her fears her sadness her loss...all of it. They listened, they held her and after everything finally calmed in the hero they sang happy birthday in several languages as they all laughed as Kara blew out her relit candle.
All the secrets were out, their bonds much stronger with their Kryptonian hero. But the truth was it was the human side of her that really had made much more difference than the Supergirl of National City and it was that knowledge that they saw...you didn't have to have powers to be the hero. You didn't need Super strength, a way to dash around at lightning speeds, nor wings...to be an angel, a friend, a sister, a love.
All you needed was one thing…
Heart.
'Break on me….'
EL Mayarah - Stronger Together….means so much more.
Brandi (The Moon): How we've always been this yin and yang, this interesting shift of polar opposites yet so very similar, you are the moon. I say this for even in the darkest of times, in nights of such darkness you have always been the light to cast out that darkness in me. Where I have always been like the sun to bring forward a new day to shine on you through our adventures and crazy times, you have lit my way on those nights my mind wandered. You know you've always held my heart, you always will. I love you..
Sarah (The Sun): You've said to me I must be Supergirl and what have I told you..that you must be the sun then, that gives me that strength you see in me. But I'll always give you that strength too, and no illness or setback can keep you from shining sweetheart. Remember that as you and I have discussed. El Mayarah.
Shauna (The Stars): In the canvas of the unknown you glisten with a thousand lights to derive paths that I may not always see at first but just like constellations you send me the signs. You don't have to be as big as the planets to be just as incredible and to me you shine like the heavens, you offer promise with every shooting one you send across the sky like the wishes you offer that I know are possible.
-Thank you ladies….and know always, you can 'Break on Me'
-Carrie-
Enigmea and Darkecean of fanfic