Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII

Author's Notes: This is prior to 'Only' if you wish to know what happens after this, go on and read that story. I encourage you to.

Silent Screams

Cloud was smiling inwardly as he listened to Zax babble randomly to him about what they were going to do when they got to Midgar. He couldn't help but be shocked when the Soldier flung himself over him, however when those full lips coughed up blood causing the metallic fluid to splatter over his face, he tensed.

The weight of the elder man nearly crushing him, he whimpered as he forced himself to touch his lover's face. The emptiness in those blue eyes cut into his soul. His own blue eyes widening in realization, he wrapped his arms around zax's lifeless body. Rocking back and forth with him he absentmindedly combed his fingers through the unruly locks.

Gently laying his lover's body to the side, he huddled in the corner of the truck. Bringing his knees to his chest, he raked his own fingers through his hair, furiously. Blinking away tears he looked up at the clear blue sky, a strangled cry passing through his lips.

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The days slowly turned into weeks, the agonizingly slow pass of time just served to remind cloud as a reminder of his recent loss. Everyone kept telling him that everything would be okay and that with time, his wounds would heal. What did they know? They weren't the one who just lost their lover…the only person who never gave up on him.

Cloud hissed as the said man's face and voice invaded his head. Sliding to his knees, he pulled at his hair. "Stop it!" he whispered brokenly, his eyes welled with unshed tears as he closed his eyes. The visuals of the fallen man only getting worse, and more rapid. A white pain pulsed behind his eyes, his breath feeling like it was stolen from him, and he parted his lips a blood curdling scream leaving his mouth as the memories haunted him.

"Spike, you should smile more often."

"If I can break Sephiroth down and make him talk to me, I damn sure know I can do the same to you…watch me. I'll sing an annoying song; ya know the one that goes... 'this is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends…some people started singing it not knowing what it…OUCH, there's no need to…hey are you laughing?"

"I have news for you, spiky-poo. I ain't goin' anywhere. You're stuck with me."

A bittersweet chuckle filled the empty room. "Yeah." He whispered to himself. "….If only you knew….just how much I miss you….it's so empty without you…" he pushed himself off of the floor wiping away the tears he hadn't realized he had shed and made his way to the bathroom…

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Sorry for the shortness of this, however it's further explained in 'Only'