A/N: Hey there! This is my first story, and I've been fighting with myself about putting it up here for a while. I was encouraged/inspired to write by Mr. Fishy. Go check Paper Cuts out if you haven't already! It's a fantastic story. Anyway... hope you like it. Review please, and let me know what I need to improve or what I did well :) Thanks for taking the time to look at it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hannah Montana or Kristy, Are You Doing Okay? by The Offspring, and unfortunately I never will.
Lilly, Are You Doing Okay?
There's a moment in time
And it's stuck in my mind
Way back, when we were just kids
When I look back now, it makes so much sense. How could I have missed it? We were thirteen, and it was the summer before high school. You started dating that… boy. I began to think, begrudgingly of course, Matt was great for you. How could I tell you I loved you and ruin everything? I decided to ignore my feelings and let you do your own thing, off with that jerk. Maybe that's the reason why I never noticed the way you wilted after a certain time in July…
~Flashback~
"Lilly?"
You remained locked away in your own world, staring at your plate of nachos as though it held the answers to life itself. I sighed, frustrated. How many times had this happened in the past two days?
I snapped my fingers in your face impatiently, unwilling to let you ignore me again. That just wouldn't do. "Lilly?!" You looked up, and I gasped.
'Cause your eyes told the tale
Of an act of betrayal
I knew that somebody did
Your eyes seemed… off. Dead. The blue that I loved so much had morphed from cornflower blue to a flat, dull azure. Looking farther, I realized the change; that glint of mischief that sent fingers of excitement down my spine was snuffed out. I immediately realized that something had gone wrong. I reached out to you from across the table and recoiled momentarily when I saw you flinch back. I pushed my chair back slowly, shuffled around to your chair, and kneeled to the ground, bringing myself down to your eye level. You refused to look at me once more, and that hurt.
I placed my fingers under your chin, handling you delicately. You seemed so breakable to me. I gently pulled your head up to once again gaze at those broken eyes. After staring for what seemed like hours, I pulled you to me, cradling your head against my chest. You spoke one word, and it was all you needed to say.
"Miley…"
~End Flashback~
Oh, waves of time
Seem to wash away
The scenes of our crimes
But for you this never ends
I shook myself out of my reverie to see you look up at me from where we were sprawled on your bed at your dorm. I was reeling at the information you had just confessed to me, after seven years of painful silence.
I swallowed painfully. "So he…"
"Yeah. He… raped me." She spat the word venomously, finally letting the dam crumble under the weight of her emotions as she pressed her hands to her head, eyes glassed over with tears. Scrambling to her feet, she began pacing along the shoebox of a room. I settled in to let her rant; she had a lot she needed to say. "I feel soused, so dirty! How could he do that to me? I was saving myself for someone special! Asshole." She paused in her pacing, staring at the door to the bathroom as if contemplating the worth of pulverizing it for the sake of her sanity. I moved quickly to stand between Lilly and the door; it would live to see another day, thank goodness.
And I should have spoke out
And I'm so sorry now
"I am so sorry that I didn't see it before," I stated quietly, encompassing her in my arms. I was attempting in a way to calm my Lilly down. She took a deep breath, held it, and exhaled slowly into my shoulder. Her voice was muffled as she responded.
I didn't know
'Cause we were so young
"You can't apologize for something that you were helpless to prevent, Miles. I chose not to tell you because I was scared! I had no clue how to tell you, I felt so dirty. I was afraid that you would think the same thing and leave me alone." She cuddled further into my shoulder with a shiver. Sweet niblets! My eyes widened at her confession; how could she think I would leave her? I loved her, for crying out loud! I bent my head, breathing in the apple scent of her hair luxuriously. I got so lost in how she smelled that I almost didn't notice as she began speaking again, this time in a soft whisper.
"I had another reason why I couldn't tell you; I realized something that night and frankly, I was too shocked to understand it myself, let alone talk about it to one of the people it affected the most." I waited with bated breath as we stood there, alone in the last rays of the setting sun. It affected me? Lil ol' Miley Ray? My curiosity peaked. "The whole time he was," the words seemed to stick in her throat, and she paused momentarily before continuing. "On top of me I didn't think about mom, or Oliver, or even the police… I thought about you, and how I wanted- no, needed- you to come save me, to pull Matt off of me. And I didn't know why." My arms went limp as my jaw slackened, the black guilt once again making gravity press down like an anvil on my heart. She took this as a bad sign and turned from me, her arms held tightly at her sides as she struggled to finish speaking.
"And later that night, as I scalded myself with hot water to rid the feel of him all over me, I had an epiphany. I found out why I thought of you. Miley," she looked back over her shoulder briefly, studying my face intently. I could feel her eyes burn their way from my eyes to my lips, stopping there. "I… I love you, Miley. I wanted to be with you, even as a thirteen year old. I remember the day you got me to cry about it, that day at Rico's. When I looked into the endless depths of your concerned blue eyes, I knew there was no stopping it, no denying it. I was done for, plain and simple." I remained silent, shocked absolutely to my core. There was no way she had just confessed that to me, it would be too perfect. She was too perfect.
She visibly tensed as she slowly shifted her head to face the front once again, and I knew that meant she was fighting not to cry. I forced my brain to restart and made my legs stumble themselves over to her hunched form. I stretched my hand out to touch her shoulder, and she flinched again, almost sending me way back to the time at Rico's. I brushed the memory away with a mental flick and opened my mouth to speak. "I…" My voice broke in the middle of the sentence, forcing me to take a breath and clear my tightening throat. "…I love you too, Lilly." Oh, how I thought I'd never get to say that out loud!
Her voiced was choked up as she replied sardonically. "Really, Miley? Don't lie to me. I won't be able to take it if you are." I took her shoulder fully in my hand and spun her around, bringing her adorable mouth millimeters from my own. I placed my hands around her waist, and briefly pondered where all this bravery had sprouted from. I pulled her chin up as I had once before with my fingers and did what I had yearned to before; I moved forward and let our lips touch softly, gently.
It was the ideal kiss, I decided. I allowed my lips to rest against hers for a moment before we both started to move in time with each other. They danced together steadily, I felt no need to rush it; after all, she did love me. I smiled into the kiss, and then pulled back to look her in the eyes. I was happy with what I found- her eyes sparkled as the last bit of the sun reflected against the clear blue I had come to adore. We both smiled lightly, embracing each other tenderly.
Lilly had moved on from her horrific ordeal, and so had I. Together we could take on anything the universe sent our way. As I moved in to kiss her again, hands twirling into her silken blonde locks, I decided that Lilly would finally be okay.
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