Forgotten – An InuYasha fanfic

Summary: Some things, when thought to be gone, are not as mislaid as one thinks. But it's a hard, hard road to retrieving that which has been lost. And maybe behind a certain demon lord's glacier-like exterior, there's something truly special.

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. If I come into possession of it, I shall say so. But that is not currently the case. This disclaimer applies to all chapters.

Chapter One

"Sesshomaru...I love you." Her last words to him resounded in his head. His beautiful mate, now long dead from childbirth. And for nothing – his son had been carried off dead by a hysterical midwife. Miscarriage. Sesshomaru had been naive – he'd expected for the birth to go smoothly, to have a son of his own, finally an heir. His mate, Akane, and himself had gone over names as soon as they knew it was a boy, and finally settled on one. Tadashi, meaning right, correct, honest, truthful... all that he wanted his son to be, and all that was snatched away from his at their deaths.

So Sesshomaru remembered how he had hid his emotions away, and became a glacier with no apparent feeling or compassion. A ruthless killer, he felt he was punishing the world for letting his loved ones die. First his father, now his mate and pup – it was too much for Sesshomaru to take. A demon lord cannot appear vulnerable, so he went the other way and created a near-unbreakable shell around him.

Until Rin. Rin had brought light into his life in the way that nobody ever could. For when she smiled, it was so much like the smile of his Akane, when she had been alive, but with a childish factor to it, that made him want to protect her at all costs, as he would have done to any pup of his own.

Sesshomaru was startled from his reverie by that very child.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" He turned to her, looking across to where Ah-Un was carrying her.

"Yes Rin?" No doubt she had some question for him about their surroundings – she was such an inquisitive child, after all.

"Why does Ah-Un have two heads?"

"Because he is a demon." Sesshomaru informed her.

Rin still looked confused, however. "But Sesshomaru-sama, you are a demon, and you have only one head. Rin does not understand."

It seemed to Sesshomaru that now was the time for a short lecture. "There are many types of demon, Rin. Some do not transform at all, like Ah-Un and the lesser demons that filth like Naraku use for mass attacks. Then there are demons that transform a little, but only in size."

He wanted to give her an example, but did not want to bring the half-breed and his group into the conversation. The cat that travelled with the demon slayer would have been a perfect example. "And then there are higher demons such as myself, who transform between a humanoid appearance, like the one you see now, and the form of a large animal. Do you understand now?"

Rin had seemed to comprehend what he had said fairly well, but a sign of confusion remained in the slight furrowing of her brow.

"Rin has one more question, my lord. What is InuYasha? He doesn't fit into any of the categories you described."

Sesshomaru internally cursed. That hanyou... "This Sesshomaru does not wish to discuss InuYasha, Rin."

"What about Jinenji, then, what is he?" Sesshomaru remembered Jinenji – another half-breed, the son of a healer. He recalled how Rin had healed Jaken with Jinenji's medication. But then that would need further explanation, he realised, as there were also two types of hanyou.

"Jinenji is a hanyou, a half-human, and half-demon. There are two types of hanyou, also – sometimes they are malformed and very different, as is Jinenji, and sometimes they are largely humanoid, but with some animal features, such as..." He cast around for an example, but could find none, save one. He sighed. "Such as InuYasha."

"Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama, Rin understands now." Her quiet voice tore at his soul, as he remembered how quiet Akane had been in those final moments. So very subdued, only just hanging on to life. He recalled with anger how the second midwife had tried to prevent him from seeing her, despite the fact that she was obviously dying and wanted to be with him. However, as Sesshomaru thought about it, he felt his forehead crease, and speedily turned his mind to something else to avoid the show of emotion on his face. He was slipping, he knew, his carefully established shield around his emotions crumbling at the hands of this small, insignificant human girl.

But, then again, Rin was not insignificant, he knew that. She was such a wonderful, innocent child. The only light of his life, bringing brightness where there was none. Once again he pulled himself from his thoughts, as he noticed that the sky had darkened somewhat.

"Rin, Jaken, we shall be sleeping here tonight." He gestured at the clearing he had stopped in, having noticed the abundance of springy, comfortable ferns underfoot and the tight overlaying of trees that bent overhead from either side. Sesshomaru could also hear a stream nearby, and was left in no doubt that there would be fish for Rin to eat.

It didn't cross his mind that Jaken would also have fish, and take advantage of the good stopping place. What did occur to him, however, was how the toad had been behaving lately. He had been rude and argumentative with Rin and Ah-Un, been particularly slow to follow any instruction that would benefit Rin...the list continued, and Sesshomaru noticed with growing worry that every little thing had been against Rin. This was a danger to his ward, he knew – Jaken, although pathetic, had his staff, and humans were not resilient to fire as demons were.

Sesshomaru groaned internally. That toad had been nothing but trouble, almost since the day he had been taken on as a retainer. He constantly showed Sesshomaru up, his squawking voice really got on Sesshomaru's nerves and wasn't good for his sensitive ears. The demon lord noted with irritation that another death was partly responsible for having only the toad for a retainer – his faithful bodyguard Masao had died from the poison of a cat demon while he was covering Sesshomaru's back. So many people had died for him...he felt so very guilty.

That same toad's voice broke through his concentration.

"Sesshomaru-sama, Rin is attempting to fish in the river! She may drown, she's such a dim-witted child, and..." He was cut short by a well aimed kick from Sesshomaru.

"Silence, Jaken. I have no objection to Rin fishing. As a matter of fact, go and help her." Sesshomaru ordered his retainer out of his sight, and closed his eyes. It was safe for him to sleep, he knew, as his sensitive ears would continue to listen for danger even as his mind rested. And it would do him good – he had not slept for many centuries after his loved ones died, due to the nightmares. Also, although a demon could get away with that kind of sleep loss, it had begun to affect him concentration. Sesshomaru just hoped that Rin's influence would prevent the nightmares, or at least lessen them.

He was wrong. The nightmares returned with a vengeance.

AN (Author's Notes):

Sorry to leave it on a bit of a cliff-hanger, my readers...look out for the second chapter on Friday! Any reviews, constructive criticism and ideas are gratefully accepted and all reviewers will be thanked in the next chapter. I will also acknowledge it if I use one of your suggestions in any chapter. Thankyou!