Arms Of The Ocean

by HateMePretty

Tragedy is always hidden. Her tragic story is one to remember. Maybe her obsession with the ocean was a prediction. Maybe it was her turn to run, to scream, when they all saw the brokenness of her eyes. But she stood still and endured. She watched as her life fell to ruins. It was time for her to spin the web of tragedy known as Amaryllis, the tale of the Mudblood with eight names.

1. Chapter 1: Never Let Me Go

A/N: Hello again! I know it's been awhile, but I'm having issues with the writing challenge I have myself and extended it. This is a new fic, I wrote this chapter in about 24 hours and hope to do a lot with it!

This chapter might seem like it has nothing to do with Harry Potter, but it has a lot more starting next chapter. This is just an introduction.

Warning: Chapter is about attempted or successful suicide and death.

Disclaimer: If I owned the series it would be short and sucky. Therefore I do not.

Please read and review! Enjoy!

{AOTO}

Arms of the Ocean

And it's breaking over me

A thousand miles down to the sea bed

Found the place to rest my head

-Never Let Me Go, by Florence + the Machine

{AOTO}

Amaryllis Mika Aurora Acacia Ariadne Hyacinth Calliope Idona felt at peace. It seemed strange. Most people would be shaking or crying or second guessing.

But this was her new beginning.

Maybe people would remember her by her long, beautiful, poetic name.

Amaryllis: To sparkle

Mika: God's child

Aurora: Dawn

Acacia: Thorny

Ariadne: Most holy

Hyacinth: A type of flower

Calliope: Beautiful voice

Idona: Renewal

The only hint of darkness was Acacia, thorny, but the rest was poetic in every way.

Maybe Amaryllis was more like an Acacia than any other name of hers. Maybe they needed to look past poetry. Maybe they needed to move the thorns over and get past the little pricks. Maybe they needed to bleed to help her. Maybe they didn't care.

Maybe they were the reason she was there, on the tiny baby blue dingy that looked as though it would sink at any second.

Maybe they were the reason she was finally calm, but only on this setting.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe they would find her, maybe they would not.

Maybe they would look for her.

Maybe they would remember her.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

{AOTO}

Amaryllis looked down at the sparkling ocean.

Amaryllis- to sparkle.

She saw the rolling waves in the distance, the stony harbour she came from.

The moon reflected off the choppy water. Seaweed floated in patches here and there. Fish swam by in schools every few minutes.

She felt the dingy swing back and forth underneath her. A breeze wooshed by. The sound of the crashing waves against the harbour filled the air.

The salty smell in the air was comforting. Intense, but clean. Not overwhelming.

Pure.

The winds picked up and whistled louder in her ears. The dingy swayed back and forth, quicker and quicker. Water lapped over the sides and began to fill the boat. Slowly, the water level rose within.

Larger swells welled up and beat against the dingy constantly.

Bigger they grew. Bigger and bigger and bigger.

Dark clouds rolled in, covering the moon.

Bigger, bigger, bigger.

Peace began to overtake Amaryllis. It was sad, her calmness. She was no brave soul, she was a coward. And yet, this calmed her. This was her homestretch, her happiness.

A small smile sprouted on her lips. It grew to a grin. It overtook her face. And she began to laugh.

"I'm coming home, Daddy. To you, and Mika, and Aurora, and Ariadne, and Hyacinth, and Calliope. I'm coming home!" She exclaimed.

You may be thinking that those are her middle names. In reality, her name was just Amaryllis Acacia Idona. She had taken the names of her late sisters as her own.

She had twin sisters that were still alive, Aster Topaz and Clover Olive Idona.

Maybe they would wonder about her.

Too late, too late. Far too late.

Maybe speaking out loud had jinxed her. She always jinxed herself by straying from her plans in one minuscule way. Maybe this was it.

Amaryllis's pretty emerald blouse and dark blue jeans. Her favourite sweater-amethyst- had American quarters from her collection sewn into her pockets to weigh her down after she gone underwater, and keep her there. She had done precise measurements with the equation: her weight (h) + weight of quarters (q) = enough to hold her underwater (u). Basically,h+q=u.

Amaryllis took off her emerald and amethyst polka-dotted gloves to reach down and touch the water. The gloves were hard to remove because they also had quarters stitched in, along with her blouse, jeans, and amethyst with emerald scribbles Converse.

The water felt cool on her skin compared to the hot, humid night and whistling winds.

The water felt... Right. It felt comfortable and fitting. Amaryllis had chosen the right place to die.

Her father was right- she would die in water.

The dingy rocked back and forth more, and more, and more. The tipping caused an imbalance in Amaryllis.

She giggled and briefly hit the water with the arm.

Her shoes and white socks were soaked. The water level had risen in the dingy to a point that all the way up to mid calf on Amaryllis was waterlogged. Her arms and hands (she had put her gloves back on) were continually getting wet when she hit the water. Her carefully curled sandy-blonde-with-brown-streaks hair blew in the wind and whipped across her face.

She giggled again.

Rain began to fall from the clouds softly, but the moon peeked our, just a sliver, trying to escape its cage.

The rain rolled down Amaryllis's cheeks like tears. Her hair was beginning to get wet, her curls loosening the damper they became.

She began to hum to Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine, one of her favourite songs.

"And it's breaking over me

A thousand miles down to the sea bed

Found the place to rest my head," she softly sang in her partially tone-deaf way. A pretty voice always off-key. It sounded ugly to everyone else, but she didn't notice.

She didn't mean to sing, either. But she couldn't help it, she loved singing.

Amaryllis's eyes blinked slowly, closing for more seconds each time. She was tired.

She had left home at 10:07 P.M.

A specific time in which her mother and twin sisters were in deep sleep.

Looking at her waterproof leather watch, the strap rainbow and the small watch face having a yellow smiley face and large numbers, you could easily read the time as 3:33.

She had arrived at her preplanned location at 1:27 A.M. The time had flown, with Amaryllis staring at constellations and the water and thinking.

Now was prime time. The perfect moment to slip over.

The water in the dingy was up to her knees now. The swells were filling it faster and faster. The rain was falling harder, causing her hair to fall out of the beautiful curls that nobody else would see, anyway. Even if they had found her.

Amaryllis shifted so her feet dangling over the edge of the dingy and skimmed the water.

She pushed herself more and more, until she was sitting atop the nearly sunk dingy's edge.

One pushed, and she would be there. One push and there was no going back.

One push, one push, one push.

So close to the end, so close to Daddy and Mika and Aurora and Ariadne and Hyacinth and Calliope.

So close, so close, so close.

The rains had started to lighten again. The moon peeked through the clouds and stars appeared.

It was beautiful. For a last moment, it was perfect.

"Goodbye," Amaryllis whispered, before exhaling and pushing herself completely off the dingy.

She hit her watch against the dingy and it broke.

The intense cold hit Amaryllis hard as soon as she was submerged. Her eyes were wide open, no matter how much they stung, staring at the coral far below. A school of violet and yellow fish hurried past, late for a meeting.

The dingy was lifting out of the water, after losing the wight of Amaryllis, water draining after she had nearly tipped it in her jump.

She could still see the the moon and the stars above her. It looked just as beautiful as when she pushed herself.

Her empty lungs began to ache slightly as time passed.

Sixty, she counted in her head.

She sunk lower and lower, closer to the dark reefs below, but still so far away.

Waves began to shrink to small laps of water pushing itself along

Pressure began to rise and hurt slightly. The ache in her lungs persisted.

One hundred twenty.

Her eyelids began to close. The cold felt sweet. A beautiful release with no need for the words that swarmed through above, words that had taken her father and five of her seven sisters.

She was simply counting. The arms of the ocean hugged her close and protected her from the swords and arrows that would pierce her skin up above. The arms of the ocean covered her and kept her from bleeding or burning. The arms of the ocean taught her to breathe the water and relax into nothingness.

She was slipping deeper and deeper, and the aches and cold began to fade as her body numbed, thanks to all the factors of cold, pressure, and suffocation- all the pains that were leaving were the cause of numbness. Funny how that works.

Her eyes were completely closed now, the beauty of above and below still frozen in her mind, the last sights she would see.

Her hair floated all around her, the calm on her face giving off an angelic look.

The last thing she thought was:

No, I'm not giving up. I'm just giving in.

All left Amaryllis's mind.

She was unconscious.

{AOTO}