Introduction: Well, who knew I would go back to the dark side and get entrapped in the Kuroshitsuji fandom once again let alone write a fic for it? This is probably the only Kuroshitsuji fanfic I'm ever going to write and spend my heart and energy on.
Rated M: For foul and language and adult content.
Enjoy~
Chapter 1
Silence.
No one said anything as we all sat around in a circle staring at each other. Some had uncertain expressions; others either had somber or angry faces. And why would we not have those faces? Who would not after all that had happened through the circumstances of our lives and how it all ended?
But in conclusion, we were back together again and this time. Nothing will separate us. One thing about being dead is that you do not have to worry about your missing limbs anymore. Ever since arriving at this place, my prosthetic leg was replaced by a natural human leg.
I gently touched the warm flesh gratefully.
"Since Snake is not here with us yet, I'll just assume he is still alive then?" Joker questioned at no one in particular.
"I should think so. Good for him for not letting those traitorous bastards, Black and Smile, get to him yet." Freckles declared passionately as her blue eyes underneath furrowed brows glared off at nothing in particular.
Joker said nothing.
Traitorous. But were Smile and Black truly the traitors or was it us? It was them of course. It had to be them. We did what we had to do to survive and they interfered.
I thought of the crowd's awed and wandering smiles upon us. I thought of the glaring spotlight shining down on me as I cracked my whip against the beasts as they did any kind of tricks I bid them to do.
I thought of Father and what we did every other night behind closed curtains.
I glanced at Joker. His perpetual, smiling amethyst eyes were directed towards me. I looked away.
And of course, I thought of him.
The dull and continuous ache in my chest that occurred every time I looked at his so familiar yet distant figure never seemed to go away.
"But at least everybody is together now, right? We have nothing to worry about anymore. We also don't ever have to go hungry again for real this time. Beast, you should try to smile a bit more, darlin. Your pretty face will turn into a monkey's face if you keep up that frown."
I rolled my eyes at the ginger-headed man's light-hearted teasing and gave him the sincerest smile I could make out. He grinned back at me, dimples appeared with effortless charm.
The ache came back. I wondered to myself why I ever fell in love with this kind, harmless, cruel and dangerous man.
No matter how much I tried to run away, I always find myself running right back into poisonous smiles and fickle arms that could easily hold on to you just as it could easily throw you away.
Speaking of cruel and dangerous men…
I would be lying if I said that Joker was the only one who fitted that description. There was another man who was even more deserving of the title if not the man that made a name for that title.
He was, but a complete stranger that walked into my life one day, the moment he stepped on stage. I remembered him being extremely well-dressed. He wore mostly black attire. The unfathomable stranger completely ignored Joker's instructions and just started feeling up Betty as if it was the most normal thing to do; brushing off the fact that he was messing with a carnivorous animal. It did not take long for me to notice he was practically perfect in every way; an unreachable and unattainable enigma.
He had humiliated me in every way possible: destroyed my show, jabbed at my modesty and then when it could not get any worse, took my integrity that night.
Black was what the circus crew called him.
I thought of all that had happened that night. I should have known better the moment he laid me down on the silk sheets; the moment I took off my dress. With every stroke and caress upon my skin, guileful questions spilled from his porcelain lips. At the brink of despair and vulnerability, I did not pay attention to the sultry and devious eyes that glowed crimson as everything filled perfectly like a puzzle and before it was too late, I had revealed not only myself, but everyone dear to me.
He did not once, ever say anything about himself. Nothing.
By dawn, there was no sight of him. I felt the cool, empty space beside me and was accompanied with nothing that morning except for regret and the chilly air blown through the tent.
And yet the pleasure and sensation of that night was still crystal clear and sharp as knife in my head until now.
Clever smiles and long, skillful fingers could not be forgotten.
I lost the scarf Joker gave me. When I woke up along with the others, I had my usual, leather, circus getup.
But I did not have the scarf.
None of my family members paid any more attention as I rested my forehead on my knee as I curled up in shame.
I am dirty. I am the true traitor. But they do not know that.
I had tried telling them. I did try to tell Wendy…Doll. But in the end, my efforts were fruitless and cowardice took over.
I could only hope that if I tell the truth one day, they would still let me stay with them.
As I drowned myself in self-pity and self-loathing, a tall brunette woman walked up to us. She had a pair of black glasses worn over yellow-green eyes just like any staff member that worked in this unknown place. They told us that they were called Shinigami.
Apparently, Suit, the other new circus member that worked alongside Black when we were still alive was also a Shinigami. He was sent there for some sort of business I don't even care to know about.
If the place my family and I are currently dawdling about right now was truly the afterlife and that these people are really grim reapers, I could only hope they show a little mercy on me despite my past sins and let me stay with everyone else.
The woman's high heels made sharping 'clicking' sounds with every step she took, eyeing us like we were interesting specimens to examine. I kept my usual, dull frown I was used to sporting since I was a little girl.
"All of you line up in one line for me." She ordered as she took a nonchalant look at her clipboard.
We lined up. I stood between Dagger and Wendy. The woman proceeded to hand out each of us a slip of folded white paper.
Well, except for me.
"Beast, correct?" She asked when she stopped in front me.
"Yes…?" I answered hesitantly. Joker's head popped out, looking curious.
Her chewing gum popped as sized me up.
"You will not be getting one of these." She said, waving a piece of paper. "Come with me."
With that, her heels turned to walk away. I glanced around at my circus mates and they had the same bewildered expressions as me, but Joker's look was encouraging.
I had no choice, but to follow the Shinigami woman.
He had just come back from the Phantomhive mansion to the room he rented upstairs the hat shop at a nearby town. He settled everything with Ciel's family, the queen and his young master's funeral. The role of Earl and the Queen's watchdog had already been passed on to somebody else.
Ciel's now widowed wife, Elizabeth Midford, stood with her two children crying as Sebastian rode away on his black horse.
The funeral was staged of course, but no one knew except for Sebastian and Ciel themselves. After the contract between butler and master was complete, Sebastian had let Ciel go back home to marry Elizabeth and let them spend some happy years together. Time flew by and everything was well and peaceful.
Until the demon eagerly came back to collect his end of the contract once his body could not handle the starvation any longer that is.
The two partners had decided that Ciel would die from "natural cause" and that he was to be buried beside his parents.
So here he was, in his temporary room, packing up and getting ready to move on to the next soul searching tomorrow.
His work with Ciel Phantomhive was officially over.
Sebastian, the name his now former young master gave him, he decided to keep for convenience's sake within the human world.
He hung his dark, trench coat on a nearby chair and walked up to the chest at the foot of the bed to search for comfortable clothing to wear.
As he dug through articles of clothes, a woolen, ivory item caught his eye.
Ah. And so it shows itself again.
He could never bring himself to get rid of it.
Just like how he burned the whole entire mansion full of children down in delight when his former young master ordered him to, he could not give this one scarf the same fate and let it disintegrate in the scorching flames.
He placed the knitted article under his chiseled nose and inhaled its old and musty odor. His sharp demon senses can smell just the faintest whiff of sweet perfume.
"Joker! Got a moment?" A sharp, feminine voice called out from behind the enormous circus tent and a curvaceous, black-haired woman appeared. Beast, they had called her.
All three males turned around, interrupting Joker's little tour guide.
Sebastian had already met the woman, unbeknownst to the young master. They did not have the best first impressions of each other. He did, after all, impulsively ruined her show "by accident" when his love of felines took over. When she progressed to whip Betty when the tiger bit his head, he stopped the woman's actions and showed her up on stage with no regrets. He had always loved showing off. This was one of those times he seized the opportunity to.
Sebastian then proceeded to shamelessly examine her leg closer than is comfortable and relished in her mortification and anger.
There were plenty of people he could have chosen to ask to examine their prosthetic body parts, but he had chosen her.
He mentally thought that it was probably due to the fact that she, out of all the circus members and amongst the millions of people he knew in his long life, openly showed her defiance towards him.
And there, he did not even bother to suppress his sadistic side to humiliate her in front of everybody.
"Ah, Beast." Joker answered.
Her words were cut off when she saw the sight of the butler's familiar, tall figure and made eye contact with him. Her startled face changed into a grimace and the faint hue of red that appeared on her cheeks when she turned her head away from him with an indignant "hmph" did not escape his attentive gaze.
Her reaction upon seeing him did not surprise him even a little.
He was mildly annoyed and amused at the same time.
Joker seemed to caught on to what was happening and with a nervous, jester laugh, he rushed Beast out of the tent before a scene could start.
The young master gave him an inquisitive look, but Sebastian said nothing of the matter.
He stood in the shadows, watching. It was like a predator observing his prey. When the Joker left the black-haired beauty to crumble on the ground, weeping, Sebastian did not waste the chance.
When emotionally vulnerable and desperate, it was very easy for human women to wear their emotions on their sleeves blindly. It was one of the many reasons why Sebastian regard them no better than worms but so amusing at the same time. She had attempted to fight back his advances, but his persistent coercion and seduction prevailed.
Once she submitted herself to him, he patiently and brutally made her expose herself using nothing but sweet words covering any undertones and hidden motives.
Going with the moment, she began to trust him and bared herself and her emotions naked with no awareness to the consequences that would lead after this little tryst.
He played her like a puppet.
He felt a sickening sense of satisfaction and euphoria when he forcefully entered her from behind, not bothering to wait for her to adjust. She let out a pained and pleasured gasp. With each thrust, he coaxed answers from her and it led all the way to the climax.
When they were finished, she gave the true beast one last wary, but resigned look before drifting off to sleep.
He left her early morning and reported everything back to the young master.
He hid his ungloved hand as he bore a complacent smile.
Sebastian had tamed the beast.
The Phantomhive servants killed them all by sunrise. There was an explosion.
He knew she would die along with all of them and he did not feel a thing.
Smithereens and debris were scattered everywhere. Sebastian ordered all of the servants to clean up the mess.
A familiar peace of ivory cloth caught his eye and any flicker of emotion on his face vanished as quickly as it appeared. It went into the garbage bag without a second glance.
He thought of burning the scarf along with all the other wreckage and was about to throw it in the fire.
His arm stretched out for a moment towards the flames. A long while passed before he gave a sigh, scarf still in hand.
Days, months, years went by and somehow, Sebastian still manages to have the woolen scarf in his person. He thought of shredding it, burning it, lose it to the abyss, but he could not bring himself to act upon it.
Her scent was still there and he sniffed the material deeply in both disgust and enjoyment.
With a light scoff at himself, he tossed the scarf aside and lay down on the wooden bed.
He contemplated tomorrow's plans and where to travel before slipping off into a luxurious, demonic slumber.
"Tell me your name, lady."
"Beast."
A golden brow quirked up at my answer. The male shinigami gave me a thoughtful look as he tilted a pair of glasses resting on his head with his gloved thumb and index finger.
He shuffled through several pieces of papers behind his desk.
"I meant your real name." He clarified at my silence. I sucked in an impatient breath.
"All of my data are obviously in your records. I don't see why you have to ask when you literally could just look." I snapped testily.
The man ran his fingers through wavy, blonde locks awkwardly at my tone of voice.
"Listen lady. Just because we have your general life data does not mean it is always a hundred percent accurate. Hearing the answers from the person we are searching for never hurts. One tiny mistake can have dire consequences."
His bored, yellow-green eyes lifted up to meet mine.
"I am sure you would know that by now." He finished.
My chest burned at that. He obviously knew too much about me than I would have liked and he just had to mention my birth name along with it. Tch.
I tried to look unaffected.
"Mally. It's Mally." I answered. He jotted it down between blurred lines with a contented nod.
"Was there something you wanted?" I asked through clenched teeth.
The male shinigami shifted his long legs underneath the tables and clasped his hands together.
"We are sending you back to Earth." He replied firmly.
The words struck me too suddenly.
"…What?!" Was all I could voice.
"I said we are sending you back to Earth." He said more slowly this time; almost patronizingly.
I stood there, dumbstruck, trying to gather my wits. Questions began to pour out of my mouth.
"For what? Is it just me and no one else? Why only me?-"
He put his hand up to stop my rambling and paused for a bit before continuing to answer my frantic inquiry.
"Yes, it is just you. Everyone else will move on to the next level before they get final judgement to move on."
"But, what about Joker-" I protested.
"Joker and the rest of the Noah's circus affiliates will not be part of your life anymore. It would be best for you to forget them, starting now." He said flippantly. I grew frustrated.
"But why?! Why can't I move on with the only family I ever had? What do I need to go back to that wretched world again for?" I exclaimed.
The blonde male took the remote beside his monitor and flicked on the TV screen.
An image appeared and the first thing I saw was smoke. And then I saw a fire. It was everywhere and it was burning an acquainted looking building down.
Father's home.
But who could've done this?
The screen zoomed in closer and there were some movement behind the heated flames. I got a closer look. When realization dawned on me on what was truly burning into ashes, I gave a horrified gasp.
With a step back, my already weak knees gave up on me as I fell backwards.
"Why…?" I asked the shinigami helplessly. "The children…"
"You knew that your "father" was using the children the whole time. Why are you so surprised now?" He asked.
The tears could not be contained any longer and I began weeping silently.
"I didn't think it would go this far. What started the fire?" It was all I could say at this point. At this, he pressed a button on the remote and the image changed. This time, there was a dark figure standing at the center of the main hall. Fire was swirling around him violently. I could not make out much from the silhouette, but if there was one thing I recognized was the dreadful, glowing red eyes I had seen on another night.
"So you do know him." He zoomed in closer to the dark figure's face.
Just as I had feared, there was no mistake it was him. My stomach twisted and I glared hatefully at the screen.
"He did that?" I rasped out.
"Indeed. You do not know anything about this man do you, Mally?" The shinigami man asked.
I shook my head.
"No. Nothing at all." I said simply.
He never once told me anything about him. This man-no, monster. He made me tell him all about me and my family. I could only watch as the events unfold itself because of my stupidity and now, I had to watch him laugh heartlessly as the countless children inside the mansion crumbled to pieces one by one.
I turned to look at the reaper agonizingly.
"Who was that monster?"
"He is exactly what you just said. A monster." Was the reply. I got incensed at his cryptic attitude.
"Do you care to be more specific about what you mean?" I demanded. He gave a laugh and fixed his glasses again.
"That is for us to know and for you to find out. When you go back to Earth as you are of course."
"So, now what? What does this all have to do with me?" Of course I was still confused about the whole ordeal. What exactly am I being sent back to Earth for?
"The head ministers in charge of the afterlife do not want you to die yet. You of all people aside from Ciel Phantomhive, who is already dead, have more connection to this man more than others."
"Ciel Phantomhive?" I asked, bewildered. "Connection to that man? Me?"
"Smile's real name was Ciel Phantomhive. And yes. Whether you want to admit it to me or not, that man's mark is on you."
I looked down at my black boots. I should have expected this.
"In more ways than one." He added dryly. I glared ferociously. I did not want to be reminded of that incident. You reap what you sow, they always say.
Seeing my displeased expression, he opted to continue.
"As I was saying, the upper members have verified that you still have a task to accomplish therefore, you cannot move on with the rest of your folks yet. The moment you accomplish this precise task, you have helped every single shinigami ever existed."
"What task? Why is such a heavy role given to me of all people? There are others who are smarter and stronger. I'm just a mere lion tamer!"
"I agree, but they did not answer." He said unhelpfully. "Now I haven't got much time left. It is time to load your transportation."
A lever was pushed out of a blank white wall and the blonde shinigami grasped its handle.
I panicked.
"Wait!" I yelled. "I do not want to have to deal with him. I really don't."
He shrugged his shoulders. "What you want doesn't matter, sweetheart."
"But what the hell do I do when I see Black?" I insisted. It was official. I am dealing with a dumbass. A pitiless one.
"Hell if I know! And his name is Sebastian. He will tell you his name is Sebastian Michaelis."
Sebastian Michaelis. What a rigid and generic name.
"Off you go then!" He said cheerfully and with one last wave, he pulled the lever down.
The ground underneath me suddenly disappeared.
Before I could blink, I fell.
And that wraps up chapter 1.
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