When I was young, my father would always tell me to follow my heart. My mother would always counter his words by telling me to follow my head. When I got older, I learned that you couldn't follow either of them.
Pitter patter, pitter patter. It was raining. The same rhythm over and over again for hours on end. The umbrella over my head kept my hair dry and so did his. No one told me how to handle it. I wasn't ready and I'm sure he wasn't too.
"Jirou?"
"Yes?"
Even though the rain kept going. Even though my lungs kept working. Everything stopped. It was just us in the rain on the cherub of the road. My heart raced when he moved a little closer to me.
We were all growing up. The lean boy from first year was gone. His body had changed with his shoulders widening. You would think that a boy like him would have never grown up to be so muscular, but training at the gym with Kirishima turned him from the jokester who held onto me to someone who I would hold onto.
"I've been thinking about this for a while and uh…I have something to confess."
"It's getting cold, Kaminari. Try to hurry it up."
He met my eyes. I melted from the innocence in them. His cheeks started turning pink and he looked away as they developed to red. His jaw shifted. It had gotten sharper over the years and connected to his neck then down to his collarbones and then down to the picture perfect muscles that looked so good in every shirtless selfie. I gulped. I knew what he was trying to say. He always made things so hard.
"Come on."
He gulped and dared to move closer to me. I didn't move, allowing him underneath my umbrella. He lowered his own onto the ground. His hair had gotten longer from how much he neglected it. I clenched my heart.
"I-I've been thinking a lot actually. Li-Like a lot a lot. It's weird." He chuckled.
"Yeah." I breathed out.
"And I've been trying to figure out how to say this and," he ran a hand through his hair. "Wait, this sounded better in my head. Um, okay. I-I…"
"Uh huh?"
"Shit. Crap. Fuck. I-I suck at this. Hold on."
He unzipped his backpack and grabbed out a mint. Kaminari popped it into his mouth so easily. He ran his hands through his hair again.
"I don't want to mess this up. It's...It's just that you're really nice. A-And we've known each other for so long. And you deserve the best. And well, shit. Kirishima said this would be way easier."
"Wait, Kaminari."
"Huh?"
"Come here."
He inched his head closer to me. I could see the smoothness of his skin. If only I could have listened to my head a little more.
"Closer."
"O-Okay. Geez Jirou, usually you don't want me so close to you. I-I mean that's not bad, personal space is good a-"
I cupped his cheek, feeling his smooth skin underneath my finger tips. I brought him in a little closer. Our foreheads touched. He was leaning down so much from how tall he had gotten. His breath was so warm. I closed my eyes and inhaled. He smelled like a mix of ramen, old papers, and mint that managed to make its way through. I brushed my thumb along his jaw.
"J-Jirou?!"
"You're useless when it comes to emotions." I sighed and opened my eyes halfway to meet his.
"Was I that obvious?" he whispered.
"Can you just kiss me al-?"
Kaminari cupped my cheeks and pulled me in. I dropped my umbrella. The raindrops were so gentle on our skin as his lips pressed onto mine. They were soft with traces of chapstick still on them. They were also...warm. Really warm. And nice. And safe. I was on cloud nine. The pressure was suffocating. I was so desperate for more.
All I could think was of love. I love you. I love you. I love you, Denki. Denki Kaminari. The boy I love with all my heart. I love him and only him. He's imperfect. It's okay that he's imperfect because he's perfectly imperfect and perfect for me. I love you. I couldn't think of it enough. I couldn't say it over and over again enough. There just wasn't enough.
My knees started to give out when he pulled back. He closed his eyes and let our foreheads touch again. It was my turn to turn into a blushing mess. I wanted to slap a hand over my face. My clothes were getting drenched from the rain.
"W-Was that okay?" he opened his eyes and looked into mine.
"Yeah. I-It was fine."
"Wait, shit. I didn't even say it."
"You don't have to…"
"No, I have to! I-I love you, Jirou!"
He said it so quickly that it almost slipped past me with the sound of the rain. I sighed and cupped his cheek to bring him in closer again. I brushed my lips across his. He eagerly opened his mouth, but whined when I pulled away.
"I love you too, Kaminari." I smiled up at him.
I couldn't stop a small giggle from erupting through my body. We both turned into blushing messes. He ran a hand through his wet hair and met my eyes.
"D-Don't laugh! This was really hard to do! I spent a whole week trying to tell you a-and I-I didn't...didn't know how to and I had to ask Kirishima and he―well you know how he is. He was all like, 'Be manly, Kaminari! Just talk to her.' and it's hard to talk a-and."
"Oh my god. I love you, Kaminari, but stop it. You're gonna drive yourself insane. You just told me that you love me. It's done. It's over. Now, stop worrying."
"I know. But uh, did I do okay?"
"If you kiss me again, I'll think about it." I crossed my arms and looked away from him.
"You just want me to kiss you again, don't you?"
"Maybe."
"Come here."
He wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me in. His hand came to cup my cheek and moved my head up to him. His lips were playful instead of shy this time. He licked my bottom lip, asking for permission. I opened my mouth slightly, allowing him to venture further. God, his tongue. It was so unlike his lips, which were wrapped in innocence. It felt sinful to have him so close. I pushed on his chest. He pulled back with raindrops in his eyelashes. My mouth was still open, gaping up at him.
"You don't have to answer anymore." he chuckled at my open mouth.
"I-It was good." I shied away from him, burying my face in his chest.
"Hey Jirou. I know we're having a moment and I don't want you to be mad at me, but shouldn't we get to the dorms? We're both drenched."
"Just one more."
"Denki, get off of me."
"Why are you so mean, Kyouka? I just wanna love youuuu~"
He nudged closer under my chin. His arms were wrapped around my lower back and refused to let go. I knew inviting him over for a late night study session was a bad idea. He took over my bed when he got tired and pulled me in to sleep. The damn bastard was just too warm and comfy. It was hard to say no when he gave me puppy eyes. I never thought they were that endearing, but ever since he started doing them to me it got harder to say no. He held onto me the whole night, being respectful of not touching anywhere inappropriate.
"It's only three in the morning. There's no need to get up yet."
"Yeah, but if Mr. Aizawa comes in here with you so close to me then he might get the wrong idea."
"So, what if he does?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"I don't want to get in trouble, Denki." I glared down at him.
"You care too much. Just let me be with you. You better confess that you like it." he snuggled up even closer to me.
Denki was soft. I could already tell that from before I started dating him, but I could 100% most definitely confirm that he is the softest boy ever. His hair was a weird mess from his lack of care, but it didn't matter. He was perfect in every way just for me. I ran my hand through that hair. He practically purred like a cat.
"What was that?" I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. God, he was adorable.
"Something only you can have." he whispered and kissed the tip of my nose.
"Denki!"
"Whhhhaaaaatttt? It's not li-"
The door to the room was kicked open. Mr. Aizawa stood there, the bandages around his head floating and a scowl on his face. I knew I was utterly and totally screwed from the glare he gave to both of us.
"God damn kids."
"Hey Jirou, do me a favor, will you?"
"Um, sure?"
"Don't leave this room."
Kaminari shut the door of the classroom. I heard the lock turn. It was so crazy and out of the blue that I thought nothing of his actions. I was wrong to not do so.
"What the hell?!"
I tugged at the door's slider. It wouldn't budge. My hands waved frantically over the door. What should I do? I looked to the lock of it. A simple one, surprising for a school like UA. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling for something, until I found it. The bobby pin was small and I usually wore it to keep cowlicks down. I twisted and inserted the bobby pin into the lock. Then, click.
I was alone in the halls when it all happened. It was raining again. Pitter patter, pitter patter. Down the rain went. A cloudy sky left the hallways, that were usually flooded with sunlight, dark. I clutched onto the strap of my backpack. I don't think I would have ever been prepared to see what had happened. I don't think anyone would have been. I was just a little girl who listened to the world through two ears. I wasn't a martyr or a saint or some leader of all. I wish that I was though.
My feet took me down the hall to the cafeteria. I heard the usual chatter. But then, a scream. Then, another and another. I heard tables crash and felt the temperature fluctuate. Then, a familiar shout from one of my classmates.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KA-"
Everything went quiet. The sound of the rain was drowned out from my beating heart. I stuck an ear jack into the wall next to me. Just around the corner would be the entrance into the cafeteria area. The lights went out. It was dark once again. I feared what I would see on the other side. I heard the quiet murmurs and an out of this world sound. It pulsated. I clutched my heart. What would the others do? What do I do?
The alarm started going off. I retracted my ear jack and felt the small vibrations of the powerful alarm. The blaring sound set off every nerve in my body. I felt electricity in the air. Static made my hair rise. That's when he started talking. His voice was so calm, so quiet, but it went over the sound of the alarm and the rain.
"I have a confession to make."
A flash of lightning lit the hallways. My eyes met a black mist at the end of the hall. I couldn't even gasp as two yellow eyes in the mist met mine. It watched me, taunted me to go forward. A villain. Someone who, in that moment, took pity on me. They left me there as the temperature fluctuate between cold and hot.
"It's been hard for these three years, holding back all of the raw power and potential I had to keep things secret. My boss always told me that it'd all be worth it. Considering that, it was. You all can't talk right now. I stunned your bodies. But, please don't be surprised. It's been a long way coming."
A hand grasp over the back of my throat. I felt four fingers, each dry and cracked. Scratch, scratch, scratch. I gulped. I knew who it was. Midoriya would freeze in class, beginning to mutter his name. Bakugou would cry while whispering his name to Kirishima. Tsu would be screaming from nightmares after the mention of his name. So close to death himself. A quirk that had no right being in the hands of him. A destructive, childish nature that haunted our class. Shigaraki Tomura.
He nudged me to move forward. I clenched my fists, obliging with a small step forward. Scratch, scratch, scratch. The villain got impatient. He pushed me forward. I was beyond the safety of the hallway corner. I could see Kaminari on top of a pile of trash cans and lunch tables. He sat there, an arm rested over a knee with electricity surging through the area. The villain's grip on me tightened.
"You missed one, kid."
His eyes met mine. The same ones I would look into during late study nights and weekend dates. The same ones that perked up whenever they saw me or whenever they made a strange joke. They weren't the same as before when they first met mine. They were rough, fazed, and were blurred from the world. However, they softened when they met mine. I wanted to scream out at him. Kaminari wasn't evil. He didn't hurt people. Where was the real Denki that I loved?
I could spot my classmates on the floor along with other students of UA. Todoroki was the cause of the temperature fluctuations. He was desperately trying to make his body do something. Bakugou's face was neutral, but the slight twitch of his nose was his attempt to scowl. A flicker of green lightning came from Midoriya, lying on the ground with a clenched fist.
"I left that one for a reason. She'd be useful to us with her quirk."
"It seems like the master is wrong about you. Did you get soft while you were here?"
"No. I could kill all these people here and now, but you wanted the green one, didn't you? To fuel that ego of your's?"
"WHY YOU-"
The grip tightened. I felt my breathing stop. My hands went to his. Please let me go. I can't die like this. Electricity surged through the air. The hand around my neck froze. I saw Denki, his arm outstretched towards the villain. The small current flashed before my eyes as the hand released me. I took a step forward. I had to choose my words carefully. If only I listened to myself instead of my parents. Don't follow anything.
"Jirou, come here."
"Why should I?"
"Kyouka…"
"Don't do that. Don't use my name."
"I know you're confused right now, but I'll make things right some other time."
"How is this right?"
I gestured to our classmates on the ground, then to the frozen villain. My hands went up to the broken lights above and the destroyed alarm in the cafeteria's corner. The rain was pouring. It was trying to drown out all the things I was feeling. Maybe I had always known something was wrong with Kaminari, but I wasn't ready to confront that.
"Don't worry. Kurogiri will take us back to the base. Everything will be fine once we get my boss out."
"You know that isn't right, Kam-"
"My apologies, young Kaminari, but I do not take orders from you."
The black mist flooded into the cafeteria. I turned to find the metal chestplate in front of Shigaraki. The yellow eyes cut through my soul. They weren't taking pity on me anymore. I stumbled backwards towards Kaminari. I tripped and fell onto the ground.
"You have a soft spot for this one. I think I'll be sending her somewhere special. Hell."
My eyes closed shut. I felt the mist consume me. It was cold, so cold. Then, hands over over my body. They held me, protective and familiar. The temperature fluctuation happened once again. The smell of sweet smoke filled my lungs. People on the ground were beginning to stir. I looked up to Kaminari placing me down in the corner of the room. My body wouldn't move. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. His eyes were the same as always. Soft, touching, everything I ever wanted. All those memories.
It's hard to say, Jirou. I just really love you.
I know it's kind of dumb to say this, but I want to marry you.
That guy needs to back off. He wasn't that hot, right?
You're so talented! Come on, play one song, please!
You hand is beautiful. It plays music beyond human imagination.
Stay with me a little while longer?
Confess! I'm the best!
"I love you, Kyouka."
I blinked and he was gone. One more blink and he appeared in front of an unfrozen Shigaraki and a black mist that began to expand. Villains began to spew out of the portals, going for my classmates on the ground.
"KAMINARI! YOU TRAITOR!"
Bakugou rose from the ground. His hands glowed red. An explosion blasted straight towards the mist. It was so powerful. I felt it rattle my bones and the heat sear the outer layer of my skin. Midoriya followed Bakugou, his speed unmatched by any of the villains. Fire began to take over the cafeteria area. I saw Iida rise from the ground. He was yelling, but I couldn't hear it. There was just the movement of people and Shoji running towards me. He picked me up from the ground.
The crash of a pillar. Debris. Flames. Ice. Explosions. Punches. Blood. Scars. Bruises. I would have prayed, but no gods seemed to be on my side that day. My heart dropped.
My fingertips brushed over the albums. The small record shop on the outskirts of Tokyo did its best to keep me together. It stitched my unhappy memories together and stuffed them into the corner of my mind. I flipped through the albums. Song titles quickly entered then left my vision. I didn't know exactly why I was there. A dusty room with an empty cashier. The worker had gone off into the back somewhere.
The fan overhead whooshed around from the summer heat. I sighed when I felt the slight buzz of my phone. It was bound to be Uraraka or Yaomomo trying to check up on me. I was living on my own and doing just fine, but they worried. If only there was some way to reassure them. The slight chime of the front door rang through the dusty shop.
I paid no mind to whatever visitor there was. Bound to be some other helpless soul in the middle of July. Being gone from it all broke me a little. I dropped out of UA after the attack. They called it the "Traitor Incident". Denki's face was plastered onto every TV and computer screen. They just didn't know what I knew. He wasn't a bad person. He wasn't like that at all. He held onto his beliefs and worked towards his goals. I haven't seen him though. I held onto the little hope that he might be out there.
A light footstep towards me. My head turned to the door, now curious to who was there. My phone dropped out of my hand as my jaw fell open. A little scruffy boy with yellow hair and a black bolt on the left. On a summer afternoon in a small record shop was where I saw him. Following my heart and my head and following my parent's wishes. His hand came up in a small wave to me. A smile on his face when his eyes met mine. Soft, warm, everything I ever wanted were in those eyes. The stupid muscle shirt and jeans were all him. The headphones around his neck. Sunlight flooded through the windows.
"Hey Kyouka."
