"Oh yeah, baby…" Mario rasped as he felt the fire coursing through his finger veins. He was ready to launch the deadly spice upon the land.
"What filth!" scoffed Luigi as he took to the hammering of the porch bench repairs.
Mario signaled to his pinky strength and wielded the utmost pride.
Yoshi watched in horror as the fingers displayed immense fortitude.
"What time is it now, Mario?" asked Bowser as he did his walking hotness.
Mario took the good looks of his own hair and cast it upon glory. He did what any reasonable man would do at a time like this… win at Fortnite.
"I can't believe this power," DK said as he peeled his banana and sat in it. He zipped up his big poofy Drake jacket.
Luigi laughed as he took away all of Mario's Vbucks like a sneaky dweeb.
"Luigi!" cried Mario. "That's-a my Vbucks!"
Luigi then did his dance for Fortnite loveliness and flexed his wholesome glutes.
"If Daisy saw them tushy bumsworth, she'd have a heartattack at the deluxe membership," smiled Toad as he felt his life become complete due to Luigi's grand rear.
"Phooey!" roared Mario. He took out his potato taco and did gnarly moves in the ocean.
"Nice one, Mario," said Bowser. "But have you seen this sick awesome slick?" Bowser then did a wiggle with his tail and it was so attractive.
"Bruh," said Toad as he put his eleven noses into the caviar. He was livin' fancy schmancy.
"Gosh…" said Yoshi as he pulled out his banjo and brought home the glory. Luigi wept at the amazing dinosaur tunes that deliciously soared from Yoshi's stings into his dearest heart.
"Time to use my power…" Mario said as he took his mustache off and used it to slice off DK's tie.
"Why are you an evildoer?" growled DK. He used his cosmic wand to summon a statue of Zeus.
"What's all the commotion?" said Zeus as he stopped being a statue because he had actually eaten a Tanooki leaf.
"It's almost Christmas and we still ain't got presents for Princess Stinkin' Peach!" Mario answered the good sir.
"You need to threaten Santa Claus with maple syrup!" cried Zeus.
Mario and the gang reached into their pockets and pulled out the cans of sticky goodness. They sprayed it on Zeus and devoured him.
Mario belched.
Luigi did as well.
Yoshi did not.
Toad sang with his belch.
Bowser did one of those reverse belches.
DK's belch smelt of banana aroma.
"What's up, guys?" said Koops as he hopped over and did his name but without the K.
"Slimeball!" roared Mario. He karate-chopped Koops with his power.
"NO! MY KOOPY-KOO!" the young turtle wailed stupidly.
Luigi felt his angst take over and he ran up the escalator the wrong way because he was an edgelord.
"Dude," said Yoshi, "Luigi's such a badboy!"
"That's because his true identity is actually Mr. L!" gasped Mario. He took out his laser blaster and shot Luigi's hat off.
"Oh, you saved me, bro!" Luigi said happily as he shoved his nose into the coleslaw.
"This is an observance," said Toad. He then filled the water pitcher to the brim and called it a day.
THE END