A/N: Happy belated Valentine's Day guys! I hope you enjoy the fic. I'm slowly working on the other chapter for Which is Real, so hold on a little more for that.
Yosuke could feel an ugly emotion rise up yet again as he watched his best friend being swallowed up by a large group of girls along with Teddie. When they first started going to the college parties, Yosuke had used Souji's magnetism for girls for his own ends. There were many nights that Yosuke and Souji spent with girls in their beds. They were never in real relationships with these girls-well Yosuke wasn't and he never knew if Souji was or not.
Yosuke continued to sip his cheap beer in the plastic red cup and watch the girls continue to hand Souji drinks. Yosuke knew that any moment now, Souji would give him alook for help. He knew that no matter what, Souji would rely on him for anything and everything. It was a leftover habit from when they lived in Inaba during their second year of high school. Although it had been the opposite back then; Yosuke was the one always relying on Souji even in dire situations that could have gotten them killed.
Their dynamic changed when Souji went back to the city. For the first few weeks, they both kept in contact with each other. It was right after golden week that Souji stopped texting Yosuke routinely. At fist Yosuke thought he was too bus. But then, even if Yosuke was the one to send a text, he wouldn't get an answer.
One day, it had gotten to be too much. Yosuke took the time during summer vacation to go see his best safiend only to find that he was perfectly fine but living with a woman two years older than him. Yosuke had been shocked, angry, and when he returned home, realized he was heartbroken. He had fallen in love with his best friend and realized it too late. I guess the saying 'you never know what you have until it's gone' is so fucking true.
Yosuke really looked at Souji now. Nothing much had changed from before on the outside. He still wore a slightly detached expression and his gray hair was still cut in the same fashion. It was really his eyes that had changed, or well, the way he had looked at Yosuke. He no longer could see the light and caring in those silver eyes; they were as blank as his expression.
Souji caught his eye from across the room and signaled for Yosuke to come rescue him. Yosuke drank the rest of his drink down in one gulp. He put on his best fake smile and started tugging on Souji. "Sorry girls, and Teddie, but I have to cut him off here. I can't have him passing out when I can't drag him back to the room."
"Aw, we'll take care of him." One girl giggled.
"How kind, but I think he'll pass. He has class tomorrow." Yosuke tried not to sound too harsh, but he was sick of the sluts Souji drank with and his patience was thin.
Once they were out of the girls dorm, Yosuke looked at Souji, gauging how drunk he had gotten this time. From the dullness of his hooded eyes and the bright pink splash on his cheeks, Yosuke knew that Souji was wasted. Yosuke sighed. He was getting to the point where he couldn't do this anymore. He loved Souji so much that it hurt, that he wanted to be void of this unrequited love.
When they reached their dorm room, Souji took Yosuke by the hand forcefully. Long used to this routine, Yosuke let his friend press his alcohol-stained lips against his. When this had happened for the first time, Yosuke almost fought it and wanted so badly for it to be a dream or for it to mean something. His heart still burned for the words after the kiss to be true.
"I love you."
And that was when Souji usually passed out in Yosuke's arms. I swear I've gained more muscles since this shit started. Yosuke carefully balanced Souji in one arm as he fished his keys out of his pocket and opened the door. He half dragged, half carried Souji to his bed and by the end of it, Yosuke was sore and exhausted. He slipped into his own bed gratefully, suddenly having to repress emotions he was trying so hard to forget. Every memory of spending late nights up playing video games, talking on the phone about nonsensical things, avoiding telling who they liked, risking their lives to keep each other safe in the TV. world, etc; it all ran through his head at the moment. It made his heart hurt and yearn for the friend he fell in love with.
Yosuke fell asleep with the wish that someday the words that Souji whispered to him while drunk to be true.
It was around three a.m. when Yosuke woke up to the sound of feet pounding on the floor to the bathroom. Yosuke could've ignored the sound of his friend throwing up. He should've ignored it, but he didn't. He slowly got up and when he reached Souji, he just rubbed his partner's back until he finished. He sat down on the cold tile and let Souji lean on him after washing his mouth out. It had been a while since he felt another warm body on his, but he was too tired to move or care that it was the one person he needed to distance himself from
"Ya know, I always thought I would be the one doing what you are." Yosuke was drifting off to sleep already.
Souji shifted until he was comfortable, laying on Yosuke's lap. "I'm sorry Yosuke."
"I know, Partner."
"Yosuke! Wake up, you'll be late!" Souji shook Yosuke awake, half dressed with their alarm blaring. Yosuke shot up and used the wall to balance himself after getting lightheaded from moving so quickly. Recovering and changing clothes took five minutes. Both young adults shared their first class and they had ten minutes to get across campus.
From the year they spent fighting shadows in the TV, they had become adept at running and dodging. Yosuke's heart contracted when Souji smiled at him with the same warmth as from before. "Just like old times, huh Yosuke?"
"It is, Partner." Yosuke smiled despite himself. Rare times like this reminded Yosuke why he still had hope that Souji would still think of him the same way as in the past. He was still hoping that his partner would come back to him.
Luckily the pair had made it to their first classes on time. Being in class reminded Yosuke that Valentine's Day was the next day and everyone was buzzing with energy about it. Except Yosuke. He sat in his chair, not talking to anyone with his headphones going full blast. He noted that Souji would glance at him every now and then with concern even after class started. It really started to bother Yosuke after a while and the pinched nerve in his neck from sleeping upright in the bathroom was not helping.
Afer class, Souji tried asking Yosuke what was wrong. "Yosuke, are you okay?"
Yosuke turned on him with every bit of his frustration from the last year and a half. "There was a time when you could tell me what was wrong. If you can't figure it out, then don't bother asking, partner."
Yosuke stormed off to his next class, practically spiting the last word like it was poison to his lips. He spent most of the ddday thinking about moving out of the dorm he shared with Souji, hardly paying any attention to his classes. In his logical mind, the decision made sense. He should leave Souji and let him destroy himself instead of torturing Yosuke on the way. But as for the heart, Yosuke could feel the way his whole body was resisting the decision. The conflict made his whole body feel heavier and his heart felt like it was made of stone. He knew that he had to do it though. He had to get rid of the hope that their relationship would return to the way it was. Or become more that it was, a deeper part of him whispered traitorously.
Yosuke steeled himself for whatever was waiting for him in the dorm. He had actually done this earlier when he left his last class, but the smell from the dorm was breaking down the wall he spent three classes building. He could smell his favorite meal, ginger pork, simmering in the dorm kitchenette. Yosuke knew that since Souji was cooking, there would be no alcohol that night. But since one of his favorites was being cooked, Souji was going to apologize for something or talk to Yosuke seriously. Needless to say, this hadn't happened in over a year.
Yosuke sighed and opened the door. The smell bombarded him the moment he stepped in. It made his mouth water. Yosuke called out to Souji, "I'm back! Wow, I didn't know you remembered how to cook."
"I thought it was about time I stopped distracting myself and started noticing things again." Yosuke felt both guilty and triumphant at how stricken and ashamed Souji looked. There was also this feeling of joy at the fact that Souji was showing his emotions. Even at the best parts of their friendship Souji would withhold his emotions. This confused him, but it also put him on guard about the outcome of the conversation they were going to have.
After dinner was served, the pair ate in silence for a little, hardly enjoying the delicious food. Yosuke was getting sicker and sicker as time went on. He wanted to end the awkward silence so he could just tell Souji he was moving out and be done with his used-to-be best friend. "What did you want to talk to me about Souji?"
"Uh," Souji paused, mid-bite, not expecting the sudden question from Yosuke. The polite gentleman he still was, he wiped his mouth with a napkin as he finished chewing what was in his mouth. Yosuke watched this with a strange detachment. "Yosuke, I've been holding something back all this time. The reason why I've thrown myself at woman and alcohol. The reason why I haven't given you more than a passing glance when you're looking. The real truth is that I knew I couldn't have you. I fell in love with Mr. Straight-Lace. I fell in love with you Yosuke Hanamura."
"But I was too selfish to give you up. I needed you and your friendship. Living without you would be worse than death. I haven't always been reserved though. Every moment that I knew you wouldn't look, every time you fell asleep, I always wished that I had the courage to tell you how I really felt. Yosuke, I know that you should leave me, but will you give me the chance to prove myself to you?" Souji finished, the pain of these withheld emotions clear as day in his eyes.
For Yosuke, this was what he had always secretly hoped for. But now, that wall that he had built earlier came back with a vengeance and a friend. He felt so distant from this situation. "How are you going to prove to me that you won't go back to the way you are? Why should I believe you?"
Yosuke felt pain with every heartbeat for even asking the question. What the hell was I thinking? Hurry, tell him that it was a bad joke and that you'd be happy to have him. However, that part was locked up pretty tight inside so he stayed silent. It felt like a thousand punches to the gut when he saw how much pain was in Souji's eyes after the questions. But this was Souji and he would not just give up that easily. "I will do anything if I have a chance with you. Give me one day, Yosuke. I will prove to you that my love is true."
Yosuke held Souji's passionate gaze for a few breathtaking moments before blushing and eating the food that was getting cold in front of him. He felt his emotions stirring and beginning to melt the ice that had set in his heart. Despite being warmed and completely overjoyed that his feelings were mutual, Yosuke still wanted Souji to prove that he could make Yosuke fall for him.
Yosuke, exhausted from the day's events, fell asleep quickly in his own bed and in pajamas. It was the most peaceful sleep he had in a long time.
The next morning, Yosuke was expecting to see Souji in class, well rested like himself. He was so wrong. Souji was missing from class which surprised even the teacher. When Yosuke got to his desk though, he found a home-made card created with great care and a single red rose. Inside, there was a quote from a song that Yosuke had gotten Souji to like.
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't know
Love, S.S.
Someone next to him was curious and when he read the quote, he smiled. "That doesn't make sense."
"Not by itself." Yosuke muttered under his breath.
In the next class, there was another card, but there were two roses this time.
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
Love, S.S.
The next class had three roses and another card again.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
Love, S.S.
In Yosuke's last class, there was a full bouquet and a balloon tied to his chair. I must be just missing him. Yosuke sat down and really began to look forward to coming back to the dorm for once. There was a tightness in his chest that wasn't heavy like it had been for a long time. The last poem made Yosuke's stomach flip in the right way.
And if you give me a chance
Believe it, I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes
I love you, Yosuke.
Yosuke didn't sit for very long. He towed all of the gifts and all but ran back to the dorm. What the hell was I waiting for? Souji Souji Souji Souji… It was a chant in his head until he threw the door open to their dorm room.
Souji had just finished putting something in the refrigerator and was shocked to see Yosuke home so early. "Yosuke-"
He broke off as Yosuke threw his arms around him and leaned into his best friend, his partner, and the love of his life. His lips smashed clumsily against Souji's, impatient after years of waiting, of holding that stupid secret. The kiss was full of more passion than either one had ever encountered before. Yosuke was the first to pull away, embarrassed he was clinging so tightly. "I-I know that I should've told you this when I first started feeling this way, but I just couldn't tell you after all the things I said and did. I l-love you Partner."
"I know." Souji claimed Yosuke in a deeper kiss, opening his lips with his tongue while moving his hand up to grip Yosuke's hair gently, but firmly while the other took hold of his hip. Yosuke could feel both of their erections through the material of his jeans. Souji pulled back first this time, caressing Yosuke's face so gently, raising goosebumps on his skin and making his knees feel weak. "I'll cook dinner and we can talk more."
Yosuke smirked and pulled Souji in closer, balling his fists into Souji's shirt. He claimed Souji's mouth again, this time openly arousing them both by rotating his hips so that they rubbed each other in all the right ways. There was a muffled groan from Souji and it wasn't too long before they were leaving the kitchen.
The beds were too far away, but the table was going to have to suffice. Souji pulled Yosuke's jacket and shirt off in one motion while Yosuke pressed his hands against his partner's strong chest. Souji pressed himself closer to Yosuke, placing kisses up and down his neck. Yosuke felt the table push against the small of his back but he didn't care. He unzipped Souji's pants and took the erection in his hand. It's so hot…
Souji moaned as Yosuke pumped a few times and played with the tip of his member. Yosuke looked up in surprise when Souji grabbed his hand, making him stop. "N-not yet." He said uneasily. "It's a good thing we keep lube all over just in case huh?"
Souji reached into one of the drawers in the table and pulled out one of their many stockpiles of lubricant and proceeded to undress Yosuke's lower half. It had been Yosuke's idea to hide them all over the place. Mainly just in case something like this happened.
It seemed impossible to get harder, but Yosuke did when he watched Souji poured the lube all over his fingers before inserting one in Yosuke's ass. At first, the feeling was awkward and intrusive, but it began to become pleasurable as Souji began adding more fingers and hitting a deep spot that made Yosuke gasp and pant with pleasure. "I'm going to go slow at first, okay?"
Yosuke could only grunt an okay, as Souji started pressing his hot erection to his entrance. Initially, it was just painful. There was nothing beyond the pain except for the thought that it would get better and it did. Once Souji felt that Yosuke had adjusted to his size, he began moving. Slowly at first, but picking up pace as both their needs grew more frantic. Neither could hold back their moans or groans as the sound of skin hitting skin picked up pace.
As the friction increased, Souji kept hitting that deep place more frequently, drawing up moans from deep in Yosuke's throat. "Partner…I can't….much longer…fuck!"
Yosuke felt the climax come on faster than he expected, cumming right before he felt Souji do the same inside him. They both repeated each other's names as they came together.
Souji slowly pulled out after, cum dripping out of Yosuke for a few moments. Neither of them cared. They were back in an embrace quickly, hanging onto each other languidly. Yosuke could clearly tell from Souji's body language that he was in love with him. From the sweaty but gentle skin contact to that look in his eyes that he had missed for too long.
Yosuke smiled. "I missed you Partner."
"I know." Souji smiled and kissed Yosuke's forehead. "I love you."
"I know."
