Oh and yeah, suppose I should tell you, unfortunately I do not own Harry Potter, yep I know it's a bugger.

The Beginning Of The Last Year At Hogwarts

When I was younger I never thought I'd actually like kissing. Guys, I mean. I never liked boys, they pulled my red hair, made fun of my green eyes and tried to scratch my pale skin. I guess that they thought the same thing, that they'd never like girl though.

And for a while I did enjoy kissing, I still like it now, but I feel that the attraction for the other participant dwindle each day. No, that's not right. I think that it's now just comfy, too comfy; to secure not something I really want when I'm seventeen and in my last year at school.

Remus is cute, no point denying it, however I don't think I was ever attracted to his looks even though they were a definite plus, he was always really sweet, even when he looked like death warmed over he was always nice to me. He treats me like a princess, which is one of the reasons that I feel so guilty, it seems like the perfect relationship to the casual observer but it's not and I don't think it ever has been – that maybe a little harsh but what relationship is perfect?

These feelings are what are making me dread my final year at Hogwarts. I mean, now unlike over the holidays I have to spend a lot more time with him as we're basically living together but in different rooms. I know it sounds snobby and bitchy but I know that I'm going to resent him for it later.

I remember my Ma's words clearly in my head, "Look Lily, I like Remus, I really do but I don't think that you should tie yourself to a relationship when your hearts not in it. You need to see who else is out there to know what you want. You're too young to run head first into a committed lifelong relationship because you haven't got the nerve to break it off."

My Mum, one wise lady, but wisdom comes from experience and I know she's had plenty of it. She married at the age of nineteen and divorced within two years because it just didn't work. So she decided that she needed to live life on her own terms and make her own decisions. Only a few years later she met my Da, but this time she made sure that they went slow and they're still together today.

As much as I want to follow my ma's advice and maybe in turn follow my heart and be free for a little while and I know I now sound like a hypocrite but I like feeling safe with Remus, I know he'll never hurt me.

It was around this time that I realised the car was pulling into a parking space at King's cross-station. Great, perfect! However, my little problem slips from my mind as my family hug and fuss over me as it becomes apparent that they're not going to see me until next year as it's too dangerous for muggleborns to travel back and forth from Hogwarts during breaks. My sister looks as if this was the last place that she wanted to be and I'm right, she'd rather stick her tongue down the neck of a rather jerky boy named Vernon. My Ma just can't seem to get through to her about settling down too young as they're getting married in the summer of next year, most likely just to piss Mum off.

As I walked though the barrier to get to platform 9 ¾ I felt a turmoil of emotions run through me. My problems with Remus, missing my parents, sadness knowing it was my last year at Hogwarts, it's starting to feel like an end of an era.

"Lily!"

I whirled around to figure out where the shout came fro only to be tackled by Sirius as he pulled me into a hug.

One good thing about dating Remus was that I had to get to know his 'gang', people before I would never of been caught dead with. For example: Sirius. I once thought him to be a heartless git, and it turns out that he really is a git but an incredibly funny one who can always be counted upon for cheering somebody up.

So when Sirius finally released me from his death grip, I was pulled into another one by another of Remus' friends, only this hug was more gentle and allowed me to breathe but no less enjoyable by James Potter. James turned out to be a hell of a lot different to what it thought him to be like, Yes, he could be a total idiot, a major idiot, but he was loyal and honest; a great friend, especially seen as he stopped 'chasing' me the moment Remus' came on the dating scene. Still, I often wonder if he did care about me the way he used to harp on about. James let go of me slowly smiling and rubbing my back slightly before disengaging the embrace.

"How about we all go and find a compartment?" Sirius added cheerfully, grabbing my trunk and pulling it on to the train.

"Thank Merlin," came the words from James. I looked at him curiously; did he want to be away from his best friend? "I've spent everyday with him for the past few weeks and it nearly killed me," he said sombrely.

"What? But you're always together!" I spluttered.

"Yeah, but we're always with others you know? On his own, Sirius can be a little…" he looked uncomfortable as he said this "… demanding!" I just laughed; I couldn't help it. Oh Merlin, he looked so sweet – see what I mean about him being loyal.

"I always thought that if I live with Sirius it'd be great, you know? But now, I really understand the concept of privacy, and there's only so many places you can hide in my home unlike at Hogwarts," he continued and I smiled as we followed in Sirius' wake towards the train.

"Have you seen Remus?" I asked offhand glancing around.

"He's travelling with Peter," James replied as he climbed onto the train first. Then he turned around and offers his hand to me, "M'lady?"

"Thank you, kind sir," I giggled. Wait- giggled? What is wrong with me? "I've got to go to the head compartment," I mumbled suddenly embarrassed, though I don't know why, as I walked towards the front of the train. I didn't realise at the time that James was following until he stood next to be after I stepped into the compartment.

"Wow!" I remember saying, it was kind of impressive and it was kind of then that it hit me, I was Head Girl!

"Yeah, wow!"

"You can't be here!" I practically shrieked at James when I fully comprehended that he was here, which to be honest took me a while.

"Why?" he asked his eyebrow knitted together in confusion.

"Because you're not Head boy," I offered as an explanation waving my hands around in exasperation. James continued to look at me with the same expression until a moment later it turned to understanding and he started searching through his pockets while I looked on. What's he playing at?

After finding what he was looking for he slipped something into my hand, which I looked closely at, this made no sense. I took in every detail of the object to see if it was a joke of some sort, one question replaying over and over in my head.

Why does James have the head boy badge?

I had to sit down, which is what I did. "But… but this makes no sense," I stammered out. "Why you?"

"I have no idea," James replied distractedly, running a hand nervously through his hair. "Everyone I've told kept saying Dumbledore's finally cracked."

"I'd have to agree with them," I muttered.

"So would I actually," he said, then laughed to himself sardonically as he sank down next to me. "Great head boy I'll be, I don't even think I can do the bloody job!"

I turned to look at him and he looked a little harassed. "You'll do fine," I assured him before I could stop myself patting his arm in what I hope was a comforting way, but he just stared at me disbelieving. "Besides, if you screw up, I'm sure I could fix whatever mess you make," I joked hoping he caught it.

"…and you once said I was a big head!" He said dryly.

"Oi!" I retaliated poking him in the ribs. "Well at least I know we'll be able to work together," I sighed in relief, sinking further down lifting my legs so they rested on the seats opposite me.

"Imagine if the head girl was in slytherin?" he asked.

"You wouldn't have lasted a week then," I replied thoughtfully, after which James and I dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"What happened in here?" I said as I took in the mess of the compartment that Sirius had chosen earlier, when both James and I walked in to meet them. One look at Peter and my boyfriend, who were pointing at Sirius whom tried to have an innocent look upon his face as he twiddled his thumbs, told me all I need to know. "Clean it up," I stated as James clapped both Peter and Remus on the back in a way of greeting.

"Hi Pete," I said quietly to him waving my hand, ignoring Sirius as he did pathetic impressions of me. "Hey Remus," I said in the same manner which was broken when he grabbed my hand, pulling me to him and claiming my lips with his own. Remember what I said about kissing, I like it, except I kind of wish for those kisses you read about in romance novels, you know where you get weak at the knees and your heart flutters and you get butterflies in your stomach. Remus' kisses although nice and sweet, don't do that and they don't really leave me wanting more.

"Hey Lily," Remus said, as I hear Sirius make a choking sound, well until James threw something at him. I moved to sit opposite him as he finished a game of wizard's chess with Peter, the latter of which congratulated me on making head girl.

As the train drew on and the conversation turned to Sirius' latest conquests over the summer, I made some comment about him being a male slut, to which he replied, "You say that as if it's a bad thing, Lily flower," with a perfectly straight face, but a twinkle in his eyes, knowing that it'd annoy me.

I was greatly relived when somebody poked their head through the door.

"Emily!" I cheered and following suit everybody else did to.

"Wow an encore, always wanted on of those," she grinned. "Hey you guys," she continued. "Lily, thought I'd save you from this lot in the form of female bonding with the others back in our compartment."

"There is a god," I joked back before I said goodbye as I followed Emily to a compartment where four other girls sat. Two of which were from my own house and year. Once again, I was congratulated on my appointment of head girl and I settled the rumours about who got head boy hiding a grin when somebody mention that Dumbledore had gone crazy and the others nodded in agreement.

I would go into what we talked about, but to be honest, it wasn't very interesting, except for finding out that Carla, a fellow roommate had lost her virginity to a very cute Ravenclaw over the summer.

I was asked how often I saw Remus and after I set them straight on how I was still a virgin despite their disbelief that we were at it like bunnies, they demanded why. I lied – saying I wanted to be married first and they then proceeded to make bets on how long it would be till Remus would break. I turned the tables on the others by teasing Emily on how easy it would be to slip up and tell James that she fancied him now that as head boy I'd have to spend even more time with him. Let's say Emily was not impressed and she turned on me again.

"I would have never have thought you to still be…"

"Don't finish that sentence Em," I warned her as I looked through Carla's with weekly magazine. "Ooo, a which Witch are you quiz," I pointed out to the others.

"Lil'," they groaned in return.

"What?" I asked innocently. "Oh come on you're not still wondering why…" to which they nodded. "I'm a virgin, because I choose to be, what's the point of sleeping around with lads you don't…"

"But that's the best part!" a girl called Darla cried out.

"Well if anyone should know…" Emily trailed off grinning dodging the sweets that were thrown at her.

I flicked to another page in the magazine and a heading caught my eye. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"What is it Lily?" a timid girl asked from the corner of the compartment.

"They still haven't caught these guys yet?" I asked showing them the article.

"No… it's getting really bad isn't it, that's the fourth hit in the past month," Carla said disgusted.

"I heard that they're calling themselves Death Eater's and each time they attack they leave a mark in the sky to show they've been there," a witch named Julie whose aunt was high up in the ministry. "Follower's of he-who-must-not-be-named." To which I rolled my eyes, why does nobody say his name? I know the guy is bad but refusing to say his name makes him even scarier right? And why would anybody ever follow him?

A silence fell upon us and soon we were pulling into Hogsmade station and I shared a carriage with the girls from Griffindor, and after filling into the grand hall the sorting ceremony began.

As usual the first years looked on in scepticism when they were told all they had to do was put on a dirty and fraying hat to be sorted. What was different was when said hat broke into a song of a very unusual context to the previous years.

Welcome to Hogwarts school

Of Witchcraft and wizardry

That should always be about learning

And never misery

I will look deep inside you to see

At which table you should be sat

Although I may seem to be

Just a stupid hat.

Here are the qualities

Of the four founders that I follow

To sort you into your house

So your thoughts need not wallow.

Slytherin prided himself by choosing

Those with blood so pure,

While Ravenclaw selected those with knowledge

Who always wanted more.

Griffindor chose those

With brave thoughts and deeds to their name,

And Hufflepuff taught the rest of those

Who weren't selected that came.

However I feel the need to tell you

Though widely known it is

Their relationships with one another

Began to become a miss.

But when one of these four founders left

Hogwarts was never the same

The remaining three

Felt their abilities dwindle and wane.

Seasons changed and the years went on

And I sort the new students

Now the founders have gone.

But before the sorting starts,

Before to bed we part

I request those seated in this hall

To spare a thought or two

As you know we live in a world

Where darkness has broken through

So now I ask those with

The gift of magic

Who are always taught

To avoid ends so tragic

That until this danger has passed

Together we should unite

And build a defence so strong

With all our might

Because if we always remain

So divided,

We will be drawn in

And chided

Our strength will

Most likely fall

And I fear nobody will be left

To answer our call

So although I will now begin

To sort you

In other houses you should

Find a friend or two

Now when you're called slip me

Upon your head

Then afterwards

Please think about what I've said.

Needless to say it created a silence upon the room until the first name was called. Other than that, the ceremony and feast ran quite smoothly except for Sirius charming the Griffindor goblets to shout 'Loser' every time 'Slytherin was mentioned, for which he received a detention and then another one for replying to professor McGonagall as 'baby'.

As the night ended, I can easily say I gladly welcomed my bed as sleep began to drift over me.

I had missed the castle.

So what do you think?

If it goes down well hopefully I'll get a new chapter up as soon as possible…