A/N: Okay…since I haven't updated for quite some time (still no inspiration) I've decided to leave my other stories that way until I'll come up with something. Until then I'll try something different. This story's gonna be entirely a diary. Nothing more, nothing less. Enjoy. And review if you liked it. Thx guyz. :)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Teen Titans or anything connected to them in any way. The only thing I own is this story. Bye-bye.

01-01-06

Friday

I don't know how to start this. Okay, my name is Raven and I'm a Teen Titan. And this is my diary. I guess. Great, this sounds so idiotic…

Once again. I'm Raven, a member of the Teen Titans. I'm 17 and I live in Jump City in a… T shaped tower. Damn, I don't have a talent for writing such things. Okay, the only reason I'm trying to write this is because I got this dairy as a gift for Christmas. One of the boys here gave me this as a gift and as much as I hate any kind of celebration or these "I-wish-you-a-merry-Christmas" moods I've decided I'll give it a try. You see, I've found out I'll have to try and change at least a bit. Today Beast Boy (he's the one who gave me this diary) made me take a look at the photos he'd made during the last few weeks. He said he wanted to "capture" the true spirit of Christmas. Yeah, right. Anyway, I looked at those pictures. Nothing interesting: boys fooling around, Starfire singing Christmas songs (I never knew how irritating can be their Tamaranian version) and stuff like this. But then something caught my attention as I looked at each of the photos. I wasn't on any of them. There was no photo about me. Usually this would be comforting, as I hate it when people take photos of me, but it made me realize I was missing so much in my life. And all because of my damn powers! How I hate my fath…

Oh no, not again! That's the third window this week. Ah well, at least Cyborg won't be bored (it must be real frustrating for him to constantly fix everything I break). So, as I said (wrote) my telekinetic powers are heavily influenced by my feelings, my emotions. The more I feel, the more powerful and uncontrollable they become. That's why I have to meditate every day to keep my feelings under control. Well, that's the curse of being the daughter of a demon.

Well, it seems I'm getting used to this writing. I guess I'll continue tomorrow. At least I'll have someone (or something) to "talk" to. I feel so lonely. I hate being this way.

01-02-06

Saturday

Hmm, the second page. I've counted the pages of this diary, as it seemed to be quite thick. 365 pages! A diary for an entire year. Beast Boy sure has strange ideas. Nothing interesting happened today (it's 8:24 P.M. and I'm lying on my bed). Beast Boy has been sleeping all day as he hadn't slept for 3 days because of parties. Cyborg and Robin are trying to clean up the mess they've left. Someone left a postcard with a "Happy New Year!" written on it. Anonymous of course. I've torn it to pieces and thrown it away. It's so childish to celebrate. There's no point! Why should I celebrate? I'm one year closer to my death. Besides nothing's changed: everything will be just as it was a year ago (fighting criminals, saving the world, meditating and being alone). I think it's better to be constantly "cold" to others. This way I won't be hurt so much the next time something bad happens. That's the way I see my life. Tragedies and cruelty repeating itself over and over again.

But back to something less sorrowful (could it be I'm depressed? I certainly feel like that sometimes). Robin has arranged a training tomorrow, saying it's a good opportunity to get used to fighting in cold weather. He must be blind or dumb! After the years spent together on this team hasn't he noticed I'm always wearing a leotard with just a cape? I'll freeze to death if we'll have to train outside. I'll have a word with him as soon as I'm finished writing this.

I haven't seen Starfire all day. She was probably outside, enjoying the making of "the-man-of-frozen-water" (that's what she calls a snowman). I wouldn't be surprised if this training thing was her idea. She has far too great influence on Robin. Whatever she says is a brilliant idea for him. I'm sure me, Beast Boy and Cyborg will have to train like mad while Robin and Star will be playing like idiots in the snow. I swear Robin sometimes seems to be the least mature of us all. And he's supposed to be our leader.

But why do I care? He's in love, so he's allowed to behave like a child. He doesn't care about anyone except for Starfire…

Why does it feel so bad to see them together? I wish someone would love me as well…