Maura's Mistake, Jane's Anguish.
SURPRISE GUYS! One Shot! This is a little somethin' to say sorry about how bad I have been at updating 'Face Fear Face Reality'. Of course new readers are always welcome!
I think some may think Maura is a little OOC, so I'm just going to put that, Maura may appear a little OOC to some!
Enjoy!
Jane couldn't understand why Maura left. They took three years to finally take their friendship to the next level, after 4 months together as a couple, Jane told Maura she was her everything and she loved her with every fiber of her being and Maura left, she ran, more like sprinted out of Jane's life. So Jane sat with her bottles of whiskey, thinking about everything she had done wrong. She was stupid if she thought that Maura would want to be with her, Maura was smart, sophisticated and beautiful, what was she to the great Maura Isles? A blue-collar with plenty of scars all over her body, Jane huffed 'i'm disgusting no wonder she fuckin' ran', Jane started chugging down the whiskey not caring about the burn she felt as the liquid ran down her throat.
Maura was dating Ben, she had been dating him for nearly 2 months, Maura had ran out on her nearly 3 months ago, now she was dating some douche called Ben, what was Jane to Maura then? Some fun? Was Jane just sex to Maura? She remembered when she found out about Ben…
"Hey Janie, how are you holding up?" Angela asked Jane,
"I'm fine Ma" Jane responded disgruntled, she just wanted to enjoy her coffee before heading back upstairs to her growing pile of paper-work,
"Jane, why don't you come over for dinner, it'll just be me, you and maybe Frankie",
"no thanks Ma" Jane replied, her mother still lived in Maura's guest house, even with what happened between the two, Angela still cared for Maura and Maura still cared for Angela, she saw her as a mother figure and had always respected her,
"why Jane? It's been a month! She's happy with someone else baby, you need to let her go" Angela pleaded, Jane's head snapped up,
"someone else? What'd you mean someone else?" Jane questioned,
"oh um.." Angela gulped,
"Ma, what'd you mean someone else?!" Jane nearly yelled, Angela didn't respond, she merely nodded her head to the direction of the precinct entrance, Jane felt light headed at what she saw, Maura was smiling and some guy had his arms wrapped around her waist, he leant in for a kiss which Maura happily accepted,
"Janie.."
"don't Ma, don't, I've got work to do-", with that said she fled the café, accidentally knocking into Maura in her haste "-shit sorry" Jane said, barely keeping her voice in check, her head was down, her eyes looking at her feet, Maura noticed of course,
"it's quite alright detective-" she paused "-Ben I'll call you later", he nodded gave her a quick peck and left,
"guess I'll see you around Dr Isles", Jane said and she was about to leave when Maura gently grabbed her wrist,
"Jane-"
"it's Detective Rizzoli" Jane said through clenched teeth,
"what did I do to upset you so much Detective? You bumped into me, it was your mistake" Maura responded coolly , Jane felt tears well up in her eyes, did Maura really have no idea how much it killed her to see her happy in someone else's arms?,
"my only mistake was letting you get to know the real me" Jane responded through tears before leaving, Maura stood frozen in shock.
Jane drank until she passed out that night.
"YO JANIE!" Frankie announced loudly, Jane startled awake,
"w..what are you doin' here?" she asked him hoarsely, she took in her surroundings, she was in her bedroom,
"well, I came over to see how ya were doin' last night, door was unlocked and you were passed out on the floor-" he paused "-again",
"I told you i'm fine, can you go? I'll see you at the precinct" Jane said as she shuffled around gathering the things she would need for the day,
"Janie…Things ended with Maura and I get it sucked, you're doing a really good job of staying professional with her, but you're killing yourself, I can hear your liver screaming save me!" Frankie said trying to add humor to a humorless situation,
"Frankie, go" Jane said harshly, Frankie held his hands up in surrender,
"i'm going, but Jane…We're worried about you", he left Jane with her thoughts, which were nothing, she felt nothing, she felt hollow, Maura acted like nothing happened, she acted like they were colleagues and that hurt Jane even more, is that what it was to her? Nothing? Three years of friendship and nearly 4 months in a romantic relationship and this was what was left? Nothing? Jane felt anger but pushed it down, she still loved Maura, she didn't understand what she did wrong, all she felt was this horrible feeling of depression, she drank because it helped her forget, helped her feel less worthless, she ran her hands through her hair before leaving, another day at work. Another day seeing Maura. Another day of hurt.
"Jane you need to focus" Korsak said concern lacing his voice,
"I am" Jane growled out, not looking up,
"well what did I just sat about the case?"
"what the fuck is this? An interrogation?! Do you know what?! I'm sick and tired of being treated like shit! Pick me up, use me then throw me away! Fuck me a few times and then run!-" at this point Korsak knew that whatever had Jane yelling had nothing to do with him "-That's how it goes right? That's what happens! Well i'm so fucking done with this shit! Fuck you!" Jane yelled before storming out of the thankfully pretty empty precinct, the cleaning lady had her headphones on and Maura… Korsak's eyes widened at the ME standing there clearly shocked, he cleared his throat,
"is there something you need Doc?", Maura shook her head in response, Jane was far worse than she had originally thought, she had been dating Ben for two months, she had to admit she was happy, but she was happiest when she was with Jane, she felt loved and cared for, she just felt so complete when she was with Jane…and then…she ran, she left Jane when she told her how much she meant to her, and now Jane was lashing out, because of her.
Jane's feet hit the ground hard, her music blaring, her pulse racing, she ran through the woods, this trail was her favorite because it was always empty, no one dared to take this route mainly because it could be muddy and it was fairly secluded but Jane was a detective she could handle attackers. The lyrics hit her as her feet hit the ground, she felt so hurt, she could barely keep the tears from falling as she ran, she checked her watch as she got closer to her apartment, she had ran 5 miles, she slowed down as her apartment block came into view, once she got inside she threw her phone on the couch and ripped off her t-shirt which was soaked in sweat, she made her way to the shower where she stripped off and turned the water onto the hottest it would go, she needed to feel something, she needed the physical pain, she needed it more than anything. She felt it beat down on her, burning her skin, she welcomed it, she distinctly heard her front door open then close but she didn't care anymore, whoever it was could do their worst, heck she probably wouldn't even report it if someone beat her up. She rested her forehead on the shower wall and closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face only to be hidden by the water that was drowning her sorrow.
Maura opened Jane's front door cautiously, she had knocked a few times but there was no response from the detective. She gasped the bottles of whiskey lay littered all over the apartment floor, she saw no sign of food containers so either Jane cleaned up or she hadn't been eating properly. She heard the shower running and could see the steam coming out from under the door meaning that the shower must be on scorching hot, her brows furrowed before she knocked on the bathroom door,
"Jane? It's me, Maura-" Maura said, there was no response, she took a deep breath and opened the door, Jane was standing under the stream of boiling water not even flinching, her head resting on the wall, "-Jane!" Maura gasped, Jane still didn't respond, she couldn't deal with Maura, she couldn't deal with life, Maura walked over to the shower and adjusted the temperature not caring that her silk sleeve was getting drenched, Jane turned her head her bloodshot eyes making contact with concerned hazel ones,
"why are you here?" Jane asked quietly before turning her head back to its previous position,
"to see if you're okay" Maura replied honestly, Jane huffed,
"i'm not your concern anymore Maura, you made that clear, go",
"Jane please don't do this" Maura pleaded,
"I didn't do anything apart from tell you how much you meant to me, you ran, you ignored me, you used me, you treated me like I was nothing more than your colleague and then-" Jane's voice broke "-then you started dating someone else, I did nothing but love you", Maura didn't know what to say, everything Jane was saying was true, except Maura didn't use Jane, every moment with Jane was everything to Maura,
"I'm sorry Jane" Maura said tears in her eyes,
"can you at least tell me why? Why did you run? Why did you find someone else without even having the decency to end things with me properly?",
"can you…can you get dressed first?" Maura asked blushing furiously, seeing Jane's naked body even in a situation like this, turned her on to no end,
"why? How can me being naked turn you on? I mean nothing to you, so how is this-" she gestured to her body "-turning you on?" Jane asked turning her back to Maura who was still standing outside the shower tray, she gulped, 'oh my her gluteus Maximus is more toned, oh look at her Latissimus Dorsi…' before Maura had caught up with her own actions she had stripped off all her clothes jumped in the shower and had turned Jane around and pushed her against the wall,
"Maura what the hel-" Maura cut her off with a deep kiss, she forced her tongue into Jane's mouth, Jane didn't respond for a few moments but then her arms wrapped around Maura's neck and she pulled her closer, after a few seconds they both pulled back breathless,
"I was scared" Maura whispered,
"scared of what?" Jane asked,
"you…I've never meant so much to anyone, it scared me" Maura explained, Jane gently pushed Maura away from her,
"so you fucked someone else instead? Started dating someone else? You have destroyed me Maura" Jane said her voice filled with emotion, she stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, dried herself off and quickly changed, she thoughtfully left Maura a towel on the counter before leaving. Maura stood under the spray for a while, she had messed up the best thing in her life, she had lost her best friend, the love of her life, and like a fool started dating Ben, Ben. She met him at a conference, he was charming, handsome and smart, he cared for Maura, and she couldn't deny she was attracted to him, she should have been thinking about how to get Jane back in her life but instead took a leap into a relationship with Ben, and it had been nearly half a year since that day she walked out on Jane and she regretted it, Maura frowned 'why am I dating Ben then? I confuse myself sometimes, but I need to fix this, I need Jane', she stepped out of the shower determined to get Jane back, it would be a long road, she knew that, but she loved Jane, she was ready and she would fight to get Jane back, but first she needed to end things with Ben.
Jane walked into the precinct the next morning dragging her feet, she said a quick hello to her ma who was scowling at Stanley. After Maura had left the bathroom, Jane refused to engage in conversation, she just couldn't deal with it, her heart was shattered into a million pieces, it had been for a while, and she couldn't handle Maura's apologies right now, so Maura left but not without apologizing for the millionth time. Jane sighed, the bags under eyes were heavy, the pain in her eyes were clear, she was exhausted, she was broken, Maura. It always came down to Maura. They were so happy together, she was in love with her best friend and she thought Maura was in love with her too. Obviously not. She slumped into her chair but her attention was quickly drawn to the box of doughnuts and two roses, one red and the other yellow with red tips, she quickly picked up the envelope that was addressed to her, she immediately noticed Maura's immaculate handwriting, she braced herself before opening it,
Dear Jane,
I cannot begin to say how sorry I am for how
I have treated you. I am sorry Jane for everything.
You should know, that our moments together meant
and still do mean everything to me.
I love you Jane, I am in love with you.
I want you back, and I will do everything to
become worthy of your love and forgiveness.
Love Always,
Maura x
'Well shit' Jane thought to herself, she felt Maura's words in her heart, but she still couldn't, she just couldn't bring herself to forgive the doctor, she wasn't lying when she said Maura had destroyed her, she pocketed the note, and with a heavy heart sent a text to the blonde, tapping her name felt foreign to her now,
'Thank you for the flowers, doughnuts and note.- J', Maura stared at her phone, a small smile playing on her lips,
'You're welcome - M'.
Maura was diligently typing up her reports when she heard familiar footsteps, Jane's footsteps to be specific, she looked up and the small smile that was playing on her lips dropped instantly, she stood up and rushed towards Jane,
"what happened?!"
"tackled a perp, could you-" Jane paused "-could you take a look at the cut?", Maura took in the blood stain on her shirt,
"of course, sit up on the table and lift your shirt please" Maura said switching into doctor mode, Jane obliged and held back a gasp when she felt Maura's cool, soft hands touch her bare skin. It had been too long.
"It..It doesn't require stitches" Maura said she herself barely keeping her emotions at bay,
"oh well thanks for lookin'" Jane was about to jump up off the table when strong hands kept her firmly in place,
"let me clean the wound so there is no risk of infection", Jane relaxed and allowed Maura to clean her wound,
"ouch" Jane grimaced when Maura wiped it down with an alcoholic wipe,
"sorry Jane this may sting a little" Maura responded warmly, she was just applying the large bandaid when her office door swung open revealing a frazzled looking Ben, both heads snapped up,
"Ben.."
"what did I do Maura? I thought we were happy together" Ben said completely ignoring Jane's presence,
"I..I'm sorry Ben but my heart belongs to someone else" Maura stuttered out, aware that her hands were still resting on a very toned abdomen,
"so..so all those times we made love? What was that then Maura?" Ben asked his voice portraying hurt and a little anger, Jane squeezed her eyes shut at the thought of someone else seeing Maura so intimately, hearing her most intimate moans and pleas,
"I'm gonna go" Jane said quietly, standing up and pulling her shirt down,
"Jane, no please.." Maura pleaded,
"go, this is private business" Ben said addressing Jane, normally Jane would have put up a fight and told this guy where to shove it, but she just felt so… Broken? Heart broken, she nodded, but Maura's hand gripped her wrist,
"Ben, I am sorry, truly I am, my moments with you were true, I did love you, but never in that way", Ben stood there for a moment, finally taking in the scene in front of him,
"it's her isn't it" he more stated than asked but Maura answered anyway,
"yes", he walked up to Jane, almost in a threatening manor, Jane stood her ground,
"how long?" he asked Maura without even glancing away from Jane,
"we were together before I met you" Maura responded quietly,
"what? So you cheated on her with me?"
"no, we..we broke up…in a sense. Well I ran to be perfectly honest, it was the biggest mistake I've ever made" Maura responded honestly and cautiously, Ben was getting closer to Jane, and Maura would call a reddish-brown stain blood before she let anyone hurt Jane,
"listen here-" he looked at her badge "-Rizzoli, you can't just take her back because you feel like it", that was the last straw for Jane,
"it's Detective Rizzoli, and I'm not taking anyone back because I feel like it, I-" she looked at Maura "-we do not have to explain anything to you, I believe Dr Isles has made it clear she no longer wishes to be with you, do me a favor and act like an adult", Ben's jaw tensed up,
"Ben, do not do something you will regret" Maura responded sternly, he stepped back,
"women are so complicated sometimes! Whatever Maura, I hope you're happy, a suggestion though, don't start dating someone else if you're still hung up over your ex!" he yelled before leaving in a huff, Maura eyed Jane, she didn't know what to say,
"I have… paperwork",
"Jane please…", Jane held up her hand,
"it's ah too much to take in, tell me Maura how would you feel if you found out I was dating someone and said someone just pretty much announced they had seen me and heard me intimately? That in all this time while you were hurting and drinking yourself to sleep every night, that I was wrapped up in someone else's arms?" Jane questioned emotions clear her in voice, Maura, always being for the truth and incapable of lying answered honestly,
"hurt, angry, upset, protective… possessive",
"possessive?" Jane questioned, her interest peaked slightly,
"yes possessive, I wouldn't want anyone's hands on you except mine-" Maura moved closer to Jane, and whispered seductively, "- anyone's mouth on you, anyone knowing what you taste like-" she nudged Jane's ear with her nose "- I don't want anyone to know what you feel like contracting around them just before you come, I don't want anyone to know what you sound like in the throes of passion, no one should know those sounds or have the privilege of touching you so intimately, but me" Maura finished with an air of authority in her voice, Jane gulped,
"you should take a leaf outta ya own book Maura" Jane responded quietly staring past Maura at the blank wall
"a leaf? I don't have any leaves in my books Jane" Maura whispered distractedly, her attention now focused on the soft skin behind Jane's ear which she was leaving hot, wet, open mouthed kisses on before nibbling on her ear,
"Maura.." Jane sighed, she wasn't ready for this, for gods sake she had just heard about Maura having sex with someone else!
"Yes Jane?" Maura asked softly,
"I.." she paused "-I'm not ready" she stated quietly, Maura continued, she moved down to her neck, trailing kisses up and down,
"relax Jane, you must be frustrated-" she licked up to Jane's ear, "-sexually, amongst other things, let me help", 'Jane Rizzoli, get a grip, she's seducing you! She slept with someone else! She…She slept with someone else…',
"Maura, no, stop" Jane said firmly, she gently pushed Maura away by her shoulders,
"I…I'm sorry Jane-" Maura said softly, Jane wasn't quite sure what to say, "can I…Can I take you out to dinner tonight?", that caught Jane off guard, she wasn't really expecting Maura to move so fast, but then again, Maura was just kissing her neck and willing to help Jane with her sexual frustration,
"I think…I think we should talk first, I don't think I will be able to handle you walking out again, and jumping into sex will just complicate things right now",
"of course… Would you like to talk at my place?" Maura asked grateful that Jane even wanted to talk about what would happen between the two. Jane thought for a moment, she would rather meet at a café somewhere neutral, but she also wanted privacy to talk, yell or whatever, things were going to get emotional, she already knew that, there was a lot of hurt involved, it was only natural for things to get emotional,
"sure",
"meet there at say-" she looked at her watch "-6? Work permitting of course",
"okay, I guess I'll see you in an hour then", Maura nodded and Jane turned to leave when Maura stopped her,
"Jane wait", Maura moved closer to her, 'oh she better not try anything funny, I'll have to tackle her! Oh that'd be kinda hot though…FOCUS RIZZOLI!' ,
"what…what is it?",
"lipstick, on your neck" Jane moved her hand to her neck, but Maura stopped her…again,
"please…allow me" Maura licked the pad of her thumb and gently rubbed off the lipstick, she could feel Jane's pulse beating rapidly and she smiled softly,
"better get going-" she cleared her throat "-paperwork", Jane practically ran out of the room.
Jane groaned in frustration, she was turned on, angry and hurt, an odd combination, but understandable, she had sat there in her chair for nearly half an hour not getting any work done, her thoughts full of Maura and well everything to do with Maura… She sat back in her chair and stared at the precinct ceiling,
"Jane did you get your wound looked at?" Frost asked as he placed a coffee cup on her desk,
"yup, it's fine, didn't need stitches" Jane said before taking a long gulp of coffee,
"that's good, the perp's been charged with robbery and assaulting a police officer",
"good, means I didn't get injured for nothin'",
"we're going to the robber , you in?" Frost asked pulling on his blazer,
"nah I'm seeing Maura" Jane responded rubbing her eyes, she was exhausted,
"Maura? Are you two, you know, back together?",
"NO-" she paused "-no, I don't know what we are anymore Frost, that's the hardest thing, I thought I knew her, but the Maura I knew wouldn't have done all of this to me", Frost pulled up a chair and sat down,
"she fucked up, there's no denying that, you guys had a good thing goin', but the thing I know about the doc is that she loves you, did she tell you why she ran?" he asked gently not knowing if his partner would close up,
"she…She said she was scared, she's never meant this much to someone before and it scared her" Jane responded quietly,
"she loves you Jane, we can all see it, every time she looks at you, you are the only one she see's, this thing with Ben, I can't answer for her, I don't know what she was thinking dating someone after what happened between you two, but it seems to me, she wants a second chance and this time she won't let go", Jane swallowed the lump in her throat,
"thanks Frost, really",
"anytime partner, now go!".
Maura had arrived home half an hour ago and she was currently sipping on some wine that she had imported from Italy, she had taken off her heels and rested her bare feet on the foot rest on the kitchen stool, she checked her watch, Jane should be here any minute, and just as she thought that, she heard Jane's specific knock on her door, she stood up and smoothed down her form fitting navy blue dress before answering the door,
"Jane, hi, come in" Maura greeted warmly,
"hey Maura", Jane stepped inside and eyed Maura, although she had already seen the blonde earlier, there was nothing sexier than a relaxed Maura, although still in the form fitted dress without her heels it was fair to say she was in a pretty relaxed state, not that Jane didn't love her heels, she did, they made her ass look spectacular and her calves had clearly benefitted from years of wearing them,
"Jane?" Maura asked when Jane hadn't moved or spoken, Jane didn't respond, and Maura took note of what she could see and hear, dilated pupils and elevated breathing… Jane was turned on, Maura moved closer and pulled Jane closer so that their lower halves were touching. Jane's brain seemingly short circuited and she crashed her lips to Maura's who returned the kiss with equal passion, but it became clear that although Maura essentially was the instigator, Jane was in charge of this show, and she didn't want slow, passionate love making, she wanted to fuck, fuck Maura hard. She wasted no time in pulling Maura's dress up and shoving her hand in Maura's black lace panties, she rubbed her clit in tight circles, Maura broke away from the kiss,
"oh..mmm..Jane" she moaned, Jane didn't say anything, her hand still working furiously between Maura's legs, she decided that this position wasn't good enough for what she wanted to do, she lowered Maura to the floor, pulled off her panties, before climbing on top and thrusting in two fingers, Maura gasped at the sudden, but welcome intrusion,
"tell me, was he this good?" Jane husked nipping at Maura's ear lobe, her hand pumping in and out in long, hard strokes, Maura turned her head to the side, gasping,
"oh go….oh…mmm… don't stop!", Maura was panting like she was running a marathon, Jane stopped thrusting and Maura whimpered,
"tell me-" she thrust once, harder, "-was he" thrust "-this good?" thrust,
"no no no no, he wasn't! I'm sorry! I love you!", happy with the answer for now, Jane picked up her speed, she could feel Maura's wetness dripping into the palm of her hand, she pulled down the strap of Maura's dress exposing her left breast, she took a nipple into her mouth and sucked hard, Maura's moaning became louder,
"ohhh fuuuck! Jane!" Maura screamed,
"that's it baby, scream my name" Jane husked her fingers still moving in and out of Maura her thumb rubbing furiously at her clit,
"I'm gonna c-" Maura's body convulsed her back arched "JANE!" she screamed as she came, Jane slowed her thrusts before stopping completely, pulling out gently and laying down on her back beside Maura, both women panting, once Maura came down from her high, she turned towards Jane only to see tears rolling down her checks, the wounds Maura had inflicted clearly ran deep, Maura quickly settled above Jane, leaning on her left elbow leaving her right arm free, she gently wiped her tears away and kissed both her cheeks,
"I'm sorry-" she whispered "-I'm so sorry Jane-" she kissed her forehead "-I love you so much-" she kissed her nose "-so much, I'm sorry for hurting you" she kissed Jane softly, Jane sniffled, her eyes still brimming with tears,
"I love you so much it hurts Maura" Jane said her voice thick with emotion, she turned her head to the side and closed her eyes, allowing the tears to trickle across her face, Maura climbed off Jane, so she was now sitting with her legs out in front of her and pulled Jane into her lap, so the detective was now straddling her, her long legs crossed behind Maura's back, Maura pulled her into a fierce embrace, she held her while Jane sobbed, her arms wrapped around Maura's neck, clinging onto her as if her life depended on it,
"I..I love you, please..please don't do..do this to m..me again" Jane sobbed out, Maura tightened her hold around Jane,
"never, never Jane, I will spend the rest of my life loving you, I will always regret what I did, I regret those months I spent without you, the past months without you in my arms will always be my biggest regret, hurting you will always be the biggest regret of my life. I love you mon amour, always and forever", Maura said softly, Jane pulled back slightly so she could look at Maura, her eyes conveyed that everything she had said, she meant. Maura's hands were rubbing up and down Jane's back soothingly,
"always and forever?" Jane whispered,
"yes Jane, always and forever" Maura confirmed softly before kissing Jane tenderly. She would never let Jane go, never would she make the same mistake again and she was certain she would spend the rest of her life, loving Jane.
Okay that's it guys! What did you think?! Leave a review and let me know!
Also some may think that Jane forgave Maura way too quickly, if this was a multi-fic then there would be a lot more involved with Jane forgiving Maura but because it's a one-shot I moved things along pretty quickly, don't hate me for it!
Thank you for reading!