... Part One ...

Three sheets to the wind and we're sorry, always sorry
For everything we never meant to do

- The Rocky Fortune

The apartment was cold. Leia sat in the centre of the living room, staring out over the never-sleeping cityscape which had been her home for nearly a year. Behind her, the galley gleamed bright white from the light of the window, reflecting off the ultra-modern sleek finishes which she had never been entirely partial too.

The day seemed a month long, and all she really wanted to do was curl up and sleep for years. But she couldn't, not yet. So she sat instead, cold tea forgotten in her hands, feet folded underneath her, clad in lined leggings and one of Han's old shirts. She certainly didn't look like a princess, and in that moment she didn't feel like much of one either. She glanced again - annoyed at herself for doing so - at the commlink lying beside her. It too, like the room she was waiting in, was silent. She hadn't received notification that he had landed, but then again - she swirled her tea absently - she didn't really expect to, at least, not anymore. How long had it been? Three months? It felt longer. Gone on a mission he shouldn't have been handed in the first place, they had hardly spoken to each other over the last several weeks. His campaign had pushed him deeper and deep towards the rim worlds, and communication had been sketchy at best.

As if needing him could summon him, the door slid open and Han walked through, dragging two large duffel bags along with him. He heaved a heavy sigh and dropped his baggage at the entry, kicking off his boots with a tired thud and closing the distance between them in several long strides. He reached down tenderly to kiss her - hoping to savor the usual sweet reunion of homecoming, when she grabbed him, pulling him down to her, desperate and hungry.

"I missed you." she gasped, as he half collapsed on top of her, clutching her solidly around her small frame, trying hard not to over balance completely as her hands scrambled at his back. He chuckled, moving his hands to frame her face, pulling her back slightly so he could look at her. "I missed you too. I didn't expect you to still be up."

"I wanted to wait for you."

"I'm glad." he smiled and tucked her hair back.

"I expected you earlier, did you run into trouble?" Her large eyes searching his face made him feel slightly guilty for avoiding her this afternoon.

"No, I got in earlier, just had a lot to do before I could even think of coming home." It was a half-ass lie, and she would have known that as soon as it was out of his mouth.

"Oh." she glanced down, hands twisted ever so slightly in her lap.

"But," he continued, sidling more comfortably onto the sofa beside her, and dropping his voice down to a conspiratorial whisper, "I'm not going anywhere tomorrow. And neither are you." She brightened at that, which was a little out of character. It was usually not a hard sell to keep her to himself the day after he got home, but it was usually a sell. She would argue - lamely - that she couldn't, that she had too much to do, that she simply wasn't able to just take time off whenever she felt like it. But none of her usual arguments were given, instead she simply sighed and leaned back into him, pulling his arms around her and breathing deeply several times.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just so happy you're home." she tucked her head under his chin.

"How was your day"

"Fine." She stiffened. "When did you get back?"

"I was planet-side by 1300, but it took a while to get everything finished up. I was back at the office by 1600-ish."

"At the office?"

He nodded, wondering at her elusive mood. He was tired, he missed her, and the last thing he really wanted to do right now was try to push her into answering the question he really needed to ask her.

"Do you want tea?" She suddenly asked, pulling out of his arms and grabbing up her cold glass from beside her where he had relegated it from her hands moments ago to the low table. Tea usually worked in getting her talking, so he nodded in agreement.

"How did the delegation go?" He called from the sofa, closing his eyes against the question. He had already seen how it had gone. He had watched as her whole body stiffened and her voice take on more of her royal accent, reserved only for times of stress and uncertainty.

"Fine. They'll be here for some time yet, though, I imagine." she hedged.

"They seemed fairly serious."

"About joining? I hope so."

"Leia-"

"Here. Tea." she announced and placed the mug into his hands.

"Leia."

She didn't answer him.

"Leia." he whispered, harder this time. Finally she looked up at him.

"Yes?" her voice was tiny, echoing still through the bleak openness of their apartment.

"I was there."

Han watched her chest expand, as if it would explode. Redness crept up her throat and she darted her eyes down to watch the steam curl and creep outwards into the air between them.

"Oh." She said at last.

"You said you would consider it." It wasn't a question. She nodded slowly. "I didn't know what else to say." Her voice was small - even to her own ears. Her brain was evading her; she had to tell him, before he pulled a classic Solo and threw something - but her mouth wouldn't form any semblance of words. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Is that why you didn't come back here right away?"

"I just needed some space, Sweetheart. It was... a bit of a shock."

"Yeah," she spat out - angry now. "It was."

"Hey, that wasn't an easy thing to hear you know, I just-"

"You had space, Han! Three months of it! I was waiting for you tonight. Here. Alone. While you were out - what? Licking wounds without even bothering to come see me first? That's hardly fair, is it?"

"Mon said you would likely accept the offer. She was very happy for you." He sat back, defensively. That's good, Solo. Get her all riled up. That's what you really need to be doing. His sub-conscience growled at him. He was starting to be an ass.

"Ha!" Leia laughed bitterly. "I bet she did!"

They sat in silence - a stalemate - for some time. Leia watching her tea, Han watching her. Then at long last, she raised her eyes to meet his again and he saw they were no longer angry, at least, for now, not angry at him. Instead, they were wet with tears. He felt like shit, here she was trying to talk to him about it, and he was just attacking her. Han set his mug down and sighed. He was tired. Bone tired. And all he really wanted to do was go to bed. They could deal with all of this in the morning. He was about to say as much when she blinked, two large tears tracked quickly down her cheeks, took a deep breath and spoke.

"I resigned."