I'm Sorry
best read while listening to " A vampire's Lullaby"
please enjoy
Why… Why had it come to this? Why did it hurt so badly? What made me want to end myself? That's right, it was him; it was everyone. They all laughed at me, told me I was useless; told me… I had no purpose. They all hated me. I was despised by my enemies. My friends found me annoying, even my big brother didn't want to be around me. Why? All I knew was that I didn't want to feel that hurt, that sadness anymore. Now all I feel is pain and this… this beautiful red covers my bare, scared body. All I can see is this crimson and the bright, white lights on the ceiling. Parts of my body have stopped hurting, like my wrists… and my ankles. They are just numb now, but that might be from being cut so badly. It's because of all of them… that I had to do this… Everyone has run away from me, even my first love. He went off to war so long ago. When we were just children… but I know I loved him. I always did, but he promised to come back… but he hasn't. I waited; I've been waiting for us to be reunited. Luckily I had found other people to distract me, I almost fell for one… but he wouldn't love me. He finds me annoying… and idiotic… a nuisance to his life. He would never love me.
"Italy?" His voice rang in my ear. I turned my head to look at the door way. There he was, Germany, standing there. His crystal blue eyes were as wide as saucers. He gazed at me in shock. "Italy!" He yelled at me as he dropped to his knees. "Italy, vhat have you done?" He yelled again. Why did he care? He didn't like me. "Italy answer me!" He commanded, but when I opened my mouth, nothing but air came out. "Oh god Italy… Nien." Was he crying, why is he crying? "Italy why did you do this?" He whispered, pulling me into his arms. A tear rolled down his cheek. "Italy." He sobbed, holding me close to him. Germany, why are you acting this way? You have never held me like this. Is this all I needed? All I've needed to do… Is hurt myself? "I-Italy." He sobbed, his head hanging low. How could someone as strong, and manly as him… break down like this… over someone like me? W-why is this upsetting me? Did I want someone to miss me? Did I do this, to get attention? Don't cry Germany… I'm sorry. I reached my hand up with all the strength I could muster, and I wiped his tears with my thumb. He looked at me, his eyes filled with… a feeling I had never seen before. He raised his free hand to cup mine. I need to sleep Germany. I feel tired, and dizzy. My eyes are heavy, please let me sleep. "Italy stay with me, stay awake!" He yelled with much fear in his voice. He squeezed my hand harshly, pressing it to his toned cheek.
I'm sorry Germany, I have to rest. I… I can't stay awake. "No Italy, don't!" He sobbed harder. "Look at me, guess what? I remembered my childhood today, Italy. I've come back, see?" He looked at me, his voice a little louder than a whisper. What does he mean? "Italy, remember, you gave me a push broom. I-I kissed you before I left. I promised to come back… und now I have." He smiled sheepishly. My eyes closed slightly, everything was blurry from a bright light. It was filling my vision.
"H-holy… Rome?" I managed to say, barely audible.
"Ja, ja Italy! It's me!" He said excitedly, sniffling slightly. "See, I've come back." I looked at him, focusing my vision enough. It is you… my Holy Rome… you have returned to me. "Italy, please… stay awake, don't fall asleep!" He started to cry again. I'm sorry, Germany… Holy Rome. The light has become to bright, its overwhelming my vision. "No Italy, open your eyes!" I can't… I've become numb all over Germany. My head and heart are both pounding painfully. I have to rest. "Italy…" He sobbed, cradling me in his strong arms. "Why… why is it when I run away, you chase me, but when I chase you, you run away?" He cried into my chest. I'm sorry Germany…. I'm…. So sorry…. But I…. Have to go… I hope… to see you… again, I'll be waiting… No matter how long, I'll be waiting.