(originally posted on tumblr.)
Morning Wood
Silences bothers her now.
Before, she knew that in whatever corner of the house, Damon was playing some obnoxious music or trying to perfect his cooking skills.
But now, there is only absence in her head and every time she shifts on the bed, she can hear the movement echo in the night.
Kai and her have reached a strange compromise, a temporary peace. He leaves her alone at night and only torments her during the day. It seems the most advantageous deal, considering his general "murderous" tendencies.
Yet, she almost wishes it were day, because if it were, he would be standing at her door, ready to pounce on her, and the world would not be silent anymore.
Thus, she has to force herself to sleep. She reasons with herself that she will never get out of here if she doesn't rest. She will just become a hopeless ghost.
If you don't sleep, you're making it easier for him to catch you, she thinks, closing her eyes stubbornly. But they won't close, not all the way.
She is floating in a sea of memories and all she can see is Damon making pancakes for her and it frustrates her endlessly because the memory always fades when he is about to tell her something about going home.
So she pretends it is all a dream and she is not actually lucid; she pretends she is not lying in bed with a stone for a heart.
"Can't sleep?"
Bonnie jumps up, startled by the sound. Sound. Sound.
Kai is leaning against the door frame. Somehow, her locked door is now wide open.
"Yeah, me neither. But I grew up with a big family. Lots of background noise. I got used to it. Now I actually need it. Fucked up, or what?" he chuckles.
Bonnie lets out a deep sigh and lifts herself from the bed.
"Is this your weird way of saying you miss them? Also, get out of my room."
"Miss them?" he laughs. "Nah. Noise is not human. Noise can't disappoint you, or hate you, or lock you up in this inferno."
Bonnie lifts an eyebrow. If she weren't so tired, she could swear he sounds…different.
"Noise also doesn't listen to Natalie Merchant on repeat while you're trying to masturbate."
She groans. Nope. Wrong.
"I killed that twat first. No, not Natalie Merchant. Common sense killed that musical mistake. I meant my shit-for-brains sister."
"We had a deal, Kai. I don't see the sun out. It's night. Get. Out."
"Funny - how we're both in the same predicament, but you're in denial. I mean you know you can't fall asleep without me, but you pretend like you're a tough girl who has it all figured out."
Bonnie's nostrils flare. "Look, your holier-than-thou psychopath act is wearing real thin."
In one fluid motion, Kai removes his grey T-shirt. He is bare-chested and is already working on his belt.
"What the fuck?!" Bonnie yells, getting off the bed. She notes, peripherally, that he is either working out or the universe is unfair with the distribution of good looks.
"Don't worry, I'm keeping my underwear on," he winks.
"God, what the hell are you doing?"
"Getting in bed with you. To sleep. Only."
She scoffs.
"Jeez. You're always thinking about grinding on that wood, huh, Bon Bon?"
"I can't believe you."
"Well, you wouldn't be the first. So…are you getting in or what?"
Bonnie rushes out of the room angrily. Damon's bed was the best in the house, but no…she can't have nice things.
It's so annoying. Because it's gotten worse.
Before, she could get a decent three hours of sleep.
Now, nada. Nill.
She stares at the ceiling in absolute despair. It is three in the morning and she might as well start crying.
For days now, Kai has been sleeping in Damon's bed and every night he makes the same invitation.
Tonight, of all nights, she is ready to accept.
She knows she's agreeing to suicide, but she's already expiring and without sleep, it won't matter if she ever gets out of this nightmare.
She doesn't knock. She bursts in with little decorum, already angry at herself for being so weak.
Kai is half-asleep. His bare toned arms are hugging his pillow. He raises his head in confusion. His hair sticks out at odd places and for once, his face is completely disarmed. He almost looks…cute.
Bonnie wants to throw up. What's wrong with me?
She gets ready for his victorious smirk, his smug taunts. He has broken her and made her yield to yet another compromise.
But instead, he only moves right and makes room for her on the bed.
Bonnie waits in silence, but he doesn't speak. He puts his head in his pillow again and closes his eyes. As if she weren't even there.
She can't quite believe he is not making her life miserable, but she's too tired to question it.
His even breathing is all the sound she needs. His body, twisting and turning, warm from the sheets, chases away the loneliness.
Not that she'd ever get close. She lies down at the opposite end, furthest away from him. But she can feel him all the same.
They lie in darkness for decades. Time slows down. Bonnie's breathing becomes regular. Her eyelids droop.
From the corner of her eye, she can see he has raised himself on his elbow, but she ignores it. She's fallen into that state between dreams and wakefulness and she doesn't want to return to reality.
His breath is on her ear and his fingers caress her bare arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
"Hope you don't mind morning wood, Bon Bon."
She hates him.
In the morning, he is snuggled against her back. His nose is in her nape, breathing in and out, tickling her hairs. One arm is lazily thrown around her waist, closing in dangerously on her left breast.
And his words from the previous night are confirmed.
She can feel, even in her confused state, the hardness pressing against her leg.
In the first moments, she's not sure where or whom she's with.
She tries to wriggle out of his grip, but in doing so, rubs against his stiffness and Kai groans into her back.
Bonnie freezes in shock. Her eyes blink open.
"Next time, I'll be the little spoon," he murmurs alluringly in her ear.